Part 49

Brooke had gone back to college the day Kelly came back. She had to get out of that house so she asked her dad to get her a flight. Her mom's personal life was way too in her face. And her mom was being such a bitch about it, acting like Ryan being gone mattered more than what Brooke had to say about it.

"Why? You don't wanna stay with your mom?" Shawn asked. It wasn't like Brooke to want to go back to school early. She usually loved being home.

Brooke shook her head. She didn't want to tell her dad exactly what was wrong but she didn't want to be around her mother anymore. How could her mom do something like that? She could've dated anyone else, literally anyone else but she'd picked someone she shared a dorm with, someone she was friends with.

"Dad can you get me home?" Brooke asked, getting to the point.

"Yeah I'll get you a jet but you have to tell me what's going on," he said.

"Nothing dad, just drop it okay?"

Shawn frowned. Brooke didn't usually have any issue telling him about her fights with her mom. "Is this because of the restraining order situation? She shouldn't be putting you in the middle of that."

Brooke looked down. That was another awkward topic. She definitely didn't want to talk about that.

"You know your mom's just acting crazy right now."

"Dad—" she tried to stop him.

"She is. She's always been dramatic."

Brooke eyed him, full of emotion. She was mad at her mom but, contrary to how her mom treated her, she wasn't stupid. So she knew her mother hadn't told her the full story with her dad. She wondered how long had he been harassing her without Brooke knowing about it? And her mother wasn't dramatic.

"No she's not dad, you obviously did something to make her feel like that," she replied tired of it all.

"You think I caused this?"

Brooke sighed. She was sick of them both. If her dad hadn't cheated maybe her parents would still be together and her mom wouldn't be acting like this.

Shawn looked at his daughter and they were both silent for a moment. He didn't want to start arguing with Brooke and Brooke didn't want to defend her mom any more than she just had.

Shawn took another bite of his sandwich.

"What happened to your little friend you bought with you?" He asked. "She's not going back with you?"

Brooke shrugged, "she'll be fine."

If he kept asking, she was going to tell him the full story and he was the probably the worst person to tell that all to.

"How much luggage do you have?" He asked before he got on the phone to charter a flight.

They sat in silence, both thinking about her mother. Brooke was pouty and he didn't want to push her too far. Especially not when he had to go to court soon to appeal this restraining order.

When Brooke got home, she picked up her phone again and there wasn't even a missed call from her mom. She knew her mom had been worried about Ryan but she couldn't even call to check on her own daughter?

Brooke put her stuff down and went straight to Ryan's room. Zendaya let her in and she looked around at Ryan's stuff. "These hers?" She asked pointing at a pair of sneakers before she started pouring bleach on them.

Zendaya absently nodded before she heard the sound of liquid splashing.

"Yo what the fuck?" Zendaya said jumping up.

Brooklyn didn't say anything, pouring the bleach on every item of value she could find. Zendaya tried to ask what was going on but she wasn't trying to get too close to the pregnant lady with a bottle of Clorox.

"Shit Brooke, what happened? You okay?"

"I'm good," she said calmly continuing to ruin Ryan's stuff.

"What did she do? What's going on? Brooke? You can't just—"

"Yeah I can. These hers too?"

"N-nah," Zendaya stuttered looking at the clothing in the closet. Brooke raised a brow, Zendaya didn't dress like that. "Chloe's," she lied and Brooklyn looked at her sceptically and continued to look for more of Ryan's stuff.

Zendaya was lying but she always found this property damage stuff childish. "What happened?" She asked.

"I don't even wanna tell you," Brooke said embarrassed.

"What happened? You were just asking her to go home with you?" Zendaya asked.

Brooke hesitated. Why had her mom even put her in this situation?

Zendaya thought about the last time they'd argued and what Ryan had said. "Wait. Was it true?"

Brooke nodded, dropping the bottle as tears started to fall. She didn't even know why she was destroying her stuff or why she was crying but the tears were falling fast and hysterically.

"Brooke? Oh my God," Zendaya pulled her into a hug. She'd always had a feeling Ryan was telling the truth about that but everyone had wanted to move on so she never said anything.

"Why would she do that?" Brooke was really crying now, tears streaming down her face for the first time in months.

"Um I don't- I don't know friend," Zendaya said awkwardly. Brooke could be sensitive but she'd never seen her cry. This whole situation was a little insane.

"Sit down, let me get you some water," Zendaya said, grabbing all of the bleach covered clothes and throwing them in a bucket of water. Then she got Brooke her glass of water handing it to her while Brooke was still bawling.

Zendaya wasn't the best at comforting people. She didn't know how she'd react if it was her mom but thankfully it wasn't. "That's crazy." She said. She really didn't know what else to say.

"I know," Brooke sniffled, finding comfort in Zendayas arms. "She- I don't even know which one of them I hate more."

"Brooke you don't have to hate them."

"I do though. Why would my mom lie to me?"

"She probably d-"

"If she knew it would hurt me why did she do it in the first place?" Brooke cried.

"Brooke," Zendaya stroked her back in circles. "You know it probably wasn't about you. They're both grown."

"I just- Ryan was supposed to be my friend."

"Shes still your friend."

"She's fu- she wants to date my mom," the words even felt wrong coming out of her mouth.

"I mean it's weird but at least she doesn't hate your mom right?" Zendaya offered trying to make it sound better.

"I wish she did. You should've seen how they were looking at each other," Brooke cringed. "My mom was literally sitting in her lap it was gross," Brooke gagged thinking about what she'd seen. It was a position a child should never see their mother in.

"Oh wow," Zendaya was lowkey impressed. Ryan had game like that? And Brooke's mom was sexy. "How did you find out?"

"My mom was kissing her," Brooke gagged.

Zendayas eyes widened. She wanted the full story immediately but she wasn't trying to dismiss her friends feelings. "Damn girl."

"I don't even know what else they've been doing while I was out. It was so disgusting..." she trailed off.

"Yeah I get that but you know, two consenting adults or whatever."

"They literally could've picked anyone else. Literally anyone. Apparently it's been months. And then remember that Gabby woman? Was Ryan like cheating on my mom with her?" Brooke thought back.

"Uh maybe they were on a break," Zendaya raised her brows. She couldn't wait to talk to Chloe about this. She had so many questions and so much to say but she didn't want to be insensitive while Brooke was still crying.

"Why are you crying though Brooke?"

"I don't know," she cried even more. "I just feel like my parents have all this stuff going on and like I can't even talk to them anymore. Like my mom and I used to be so close but it's like everything's changed now. I feel like she hates me because I got pregnant and—"

"Brooke your mom loves you."

"I know. It's just... she's so mad at me now and I said something I shouldn't have. I saw the way she looked at me. And it's like she hates me now and wants to pick Ryan over me or something."

"Woah I don't think it's like that."

"She hasn't called me," Brooke cried, knowing she was being more emotional than the situation warranted. "She normally calls me or texts me after we fight."

Brooke and Zendaya talked for a while, Zendaya comforting her and getting Brooke to wash Ryan's clothes.

When Justine came home, they all sat around talking and watching tv. It was a mostly normal evening after that. Chloe came over and the four of them talked and relaxed.

———————

Beyoncé's fingers dipped into Ryan's flesh.

"Mamas gonna make you feel so good," she kissed along her naked body as Ryan lay flat on her lap, face down in the sheets. The breeze from the cracked window passed over her ass and Ryan moaned. She already felt amazing, Beyoncés touch was making her body feel so loved, fingers playing with her nipples leaving Ryan soaking wet.

"Say thank you mama."

"Thank you mama." Ryan repeated.

"Tell me you want to cum for me"

"I wanna cum for you."

"Say please"

"Please mama"

Beyoncé bit her lip, looking at her girlfriend sprawled across her lap. "My sweet girl, I wanna give you exactly what you want," Beyoncé said pushing her knuckle up against Ryan's entrance, feeling how tight she was, how much her body hadn't decided whether or not to let her in.

"Do it then," Ryan hissed, turned on yet still mad at her girlfriend and trying to push boundaries.

Beyoncé's brows twitched. What did Ryan think this was? She spanked her and Ryan moaned into the sting, the pain rippling through her body. "I'm not playing with you," she said.

Ryans breath hitched but she didn't show it. "Don't stop," Ryan moaned out arching into Beyoncé's other finger.

Beyoncé slapped her again sending pain rolling through Ryan's body.

"Is that supposed to— do something?" She moaned, her clit tingling as the vibrations hit her body.

Beyoncé smirked and hit her again. This time harder. Then again. And she could feel Ryan's wetness building on her finger before she pushed inside. She smacked her again and Ryan released a heavy moan.

"Harder," Ryan begged.

"Baby—"

"Fuck Beyoncé just do it," she rolled her eyes and Beyoncé did as told, wondering again, who the fuck she was talking to?

Her own body heated up as Ryan screamed into her. But if Ryan wanted more, that's what she'd give her. She hit her again, harder this time as her finger finally slipped into Ryan.

"Fuckkkk," Ryan moaned in pleasure, liquid trickling onto Beyoncé's legs.

"Shh this is what you wanted," Beyoncé breathed thrusting into her. "Take it baby, I know you can."

Ryan bit against her lips, still arching into her. Beyoncé kept thrusting in and out. She loved the stretch and each time Beyoncé spanked her, her body would jolt into the sensation. Then she felt another finger poking at her entrance.

"More," a quiet voice moaned out and Beyoncés eyes widened.

Her ass was getting dark red at this point, a bruise forming on the warm brown skin. Beyoncé hesitated but she spanked her again, watching the younger one react to her touch. She was so sexy but Beyoncé didn't want to go too far. Ryan's juices were pooling in her lap, creating a dark patch on her denim skirt.

"Ryan baby," she whispered kissing the reddened skin as another finger slipped into her.

"Uh fuckkk," Ryan moaned louder, rubbing her clit against Beyoncé's thighs.

"Honey you're making me so..." Beyoncé swallowed. Seeing her like this was doing things to her. So needy, freshly punished, sweat forming a light mist on her skin.

"I'm making you wet mama?" Ryan rolled her hips, making sure Beyoncé could feel her touch.

"Yes." Beyoncé closed her eyes and nodded. She bit into her lip watching the younger girl grind into her lap. She was soaked.

"Good," Ryan continued. "I want more."

Ryan begged and Beyoncé could do nothing but obey. She slapped her again, watching Ryan react to the pain. "Fuck baby, you like it when mama hurts you?"

Ryan hummed and Beyoncé bought her hand down harder.

"Uh huh. Harder mommy please."

"Mm," Beyoncé continued. She let her hand connect with Ryan's ass again, watching the younger one fall apart.

Ryan felt the fingers stroking gently inside of her, clashing with the sting of Beyoncé's slaps on her ass. She didn't know what felt better or maybe it was the combination of both together.

"You gonna cum for me honey?" Beyoncé asked. "You like the way mommy's hurting you huh?"

Beyoncé didn't know she could take this much pain and turn it into pleasure. Her body was like a work of art by the time Ryan finally came; bruised, wet, and spent. Beyoncé didn't want to stop touching her. She let her hands linger until Ryan was pushing her off.

Ryan, with dark eyes crawled back over to her lap.

"You okay honey?" She asked watching Ryan duck her head into her lap.

Then a tongue slipped out and Ryan licked over the wet patch on her skirt. Beyoncés neck rolled back, looking down at the younger one, licking up her mess, pink tongue darting out of her lips to swallow the juices she'd left on Beyoncés clothes.

"H-honey..." she stuttered, breathless at the sight. Beyoncé could barely breathe as Ryan locked up her own juices. She was so sexy.

But then Ryan rolled over and onto her back and Beyoncé watched her eyes slip closed as she fell asleep.

She stroked a hand over her half asleep body then took in a breath of her own before she got a wet towel to wipe between her thighs. It was beautiful to see her like that, fast asleep after cumming so hard. So perfect. Almost pristine. She made her clit throb with unexpressed desire.

Beyoncé wanted to wake her up, to make Ryan take care of this problem she'd caused between her legs. To touch her, to taste her, even to watch her play with herself. At the same time she wanted Ryan to get her rest. So she lay her down, kissing along her skin and ignoring the wetness in between her own thighs.

Ryan was peacefully knocked out beside her and Beyoncé couldn't stop kissing and appreciating her. Ryan was perfect for her as Beyoncé kissed her shoulder blades. "I love you baby, I'm not letting you go again."

Ryan's body hummed as she slept recovering from the pain and pleasure Beyoncé had inflicted.

She probably should've been checking the flight times. But they needed to work this out and class could wait. It was the second to last week before summer anyway and she'd told her professors she was stuck due to the flights.

Beyoncé lay back, trying to figure it out, kissing Ryan and saying warm words she knew Ryan wouldn't hear. She just didn't know how else to convince Ryan that she was worth it and that this fight was actually unnecessary.

Bey: I need advice

Chris: Ryan or Brooke? 👀

Bey: I don't need advice with Brooke, I just need a new kid

Chris: Unfortunately there's no returns policyChris: What's up with little Ryan?

Bey: Little?

Chris: Because she's my daughters age

Bey: WhateverBey: Ryan might've caught me and Kelly kissing

Chris: ?!?!?!🤯 Why were you kissing her? I thought you hated her

Bey: We talked and I forgave herBey: We were saying byeBey: It wasn't even a real kiss

Chris: You're an idiotChris: Just explain it to her, Ryan's a smart girl

Bey: She doesn't want to listen to me Bey: We keep having sex but I think she just wants to avoid talking about it

Chris: Ha! She's perfect for you

Bey: Shut up

Chris: Just do something to show her how you really feel

Bey: Like what?

Chris: She's your girlfriend, figure it out

Beyoncé sighed and rolled Ryan closer into her arms. She wasn't letting her go no matter what Ryan wanted. They'd just have to talk it out until Ryan was ready to forgive her.

Noticing it was after midnight, she texted Brooklyn for a life update. She hadn't spoke to her since she'd stormed out and wanted to check if she'd got home safely. She didn't even know where she was or if she'd stayed at home. Brooke was definitely still mad at her but when wasn't she?

She sent her a text asking where she was and leaving out all the emojis she usually would've sent. Brooke had really hurt her feelings with what she'd said and Beyoncé wasn't quite ready to forgive that.

When Ryan finally woke up, Beyoncé decided they needed to speak properly. Ryan tried to have sex again but Bey just told her to get in the shower while she ordered room service so they could talk while they ate breakfast.

Finally Beyoncé sat Ryan down with a ready made up plate of food. "I love you Ryan so we're going to talk about this. I'll tell you whatever you want to know, honey. I just need you to trust me again."

Ryan eyed her, picking up a strip of bacon and chewing. Every time Ryan thought about it, she wanted to shout and start flipping tables. "Fine. Why was you kissing that bitch?"

Beyoncé cringed at Ryan saying it like that. She took a breath, pouring coffee as Ryan chewed, eyes boring into her. "Kelly was my—"

"First love, whatever. Brooke already told me that part. I'm asking why you were kissing her just now?" Ryan wasn't about to let Beyoncé explain this away with paragraphs and fairytales to make her forget. She wanted the truth and she knew how Beyoncé lied. She wouldn't let her do that again.

"It was nothing honey, I promise it wasn't. I was just saying goodbye."

"By kissing her? Are you fucking stupid?" She'd been thinking about what to do all this time, wondering if she should just leave her. Was this shit even worth it? Who kissed their ex while in a relationship?

"It wasn't a real kiss"

"I don't care, you kissed her. You couldn't just say "bye" without sticking your tongue down her throat?"

"Ry..." Beyoncé breathed through her nose. "I wasn't sticking my—"

"Don't care. You can't kiss other people."

Beyoncé's head lulled to the side conceding, "okay I shouldn't have kissed her but it wasn't anything like that. You're the one I wanna be with. You're the one I want be kissing."

Ryan eyed her, brows twitching together as she looked her up and down, still pissed. "And what about all the shit she was saying? How much of that was true?"

Beyoncé took in a breath. "Well we're not married."

"Beyoncé don't lie to me, people don't just say that they're married when they're not." Ryan raised a brow. There had to be something more there. They'd probably only just got divorced and Beyoncé thought it didn't matter if they were divorced now. But Ryan still deserved to know. Kelly made it sound like it was important and she didn't like feeling like someone knew something she didn't.

"I'm not ly—"

"I swear Beyoncé-" Ryan started.

"I'm not lying honey just listen to me," Beyoncé argued trying to force Ryan into listening to her instead of cutting her off.

Ryan's brows knitted together. They'd taken so long to get to this point, that she didn't want to throw that all away. Maybe she'd misheard. Maybe Kelly was lying.

"We were never married legally," Beyoncé explained. "I never mailed in the papers so we never actually married."

"Keep talking," Ryan frowned.

"Kelly was... well Brooke already told you I guess. But we reconnected around the time of my divorce. It was hard for me because I had loved her for so long. She meant a lot to me so it was easy for all of the feelings to come rushing back like that."

"Uh huh?" Ryan looked at her skeptically.

"So I asked her to marry me like an idiot," Beyoncé rolled her eyes at herself. She'd been so broken after ending things with Shawn and fallen so quickly and easily when Kelly came back into her life. She hadn't even considered how she truly felt about the woman. "We ran away and said the I do's. It was quick and I thought that I was in love."

Ryan raised a brow gathering some eggs onto her fork.

The taller one's fingers tugged at her hair. "It's stupid because I was at her place all the time — her kids were younger so she couldn't be away from them like that. I was even neglecting Brooke a little. But when I found Kelly again I convinced myself it was destiny, that we were both divorced and had finally come back to each other. I got wrapped up in all the memories of us. She was really my best friend at one point."

Beyoncé paused then. "But I just never trusted her. I never let her know where I lived. I hid the biggest things from her. She never met Brooke, and she kept pushing me to meet her. But I was putting it off and one day she went through my phone to try and get Brooke's number. It was just such a huge betrayal, I wanted to end things right then and there but I stayed for a couple more days until I just couldn't.I knew in that moment that I couldn't be with her. There was just so much hurt and heartbreak that she'd left me with all those years ago. I was trying to ignore it because it felt good to have someone when I'd just left Shawn. But it was still there and I just couldn't marry someone like that. So I left her a note and disappeared."

"A note?"

"Not my proudest moment." Beyoncé sighed. She did feel guilty about how she'd left things with Kelly but she knew if she didn't leave then she never would've left.

Ryan's brows knitted together trying to piece it together. "How long were you together?"

"After I found her... probably about three months—"

"Three months and you got married?!"

"She was my fir—"

"First love, yeah that's still crazy. You're so gay."

"I wanted to marry you the fourth time we had sex," Beyoncé admitted.

Ryan blushed and rolled her eyes at the older one. "Wait why the fourth time?" Ryan narrowed her eyes suspiciously. That was so specific but in her mind, they'd been married since the first time they'd had sex. She would never admit that though, it was basically just sex back then.

Beyoncé bit her lip, remembering, "I think the fourth time just confirmed everything I was already thinking. You were so damn sexy bent over like that. It made me feel so connected to you like I could feel your pleasure even when I was physically hurting you. You're so beautiful you don't even know it. And then afterwards when we fit together so perfectly. That kind of chemistry doesn't just happen by coincidence."

Ryan gazed up at her. That was when Beyoncé had spanked her for the first time. She'd known Beyoncé was getting off on it, hiding her arousal behind Ryans pleasure. Listening to her cries was turning her on. And then she seemed to feel guilty when Ryan had crashed. Like she cared about her more than just the sex.

Wrapped up in the feeling, they'd probably made love afterwards, too horny to even recognise that's what they were doing, clits kissing, juices sliding into each other, bodies connecting.

"After the first time in the bathroom, I was thinking about you for months." Beyoncé swallowed. "I couldn't believe how much I wanted you— wanted to have sex with you again. But after the fourth time I felt like I couldn't be away for too long. It was like I just knew it was you. My body knew before my conscious mind did, but I've been in love with you since then."

"So you wanted to marry me?" Ryan chuckled, finishing up the food on her plate.

"I know what I like," Beyoncé shrugged, standing to pile the dishes before she called the staff. "And you always wanted to please me. It's so nice to feel wanted by someone you want." She said planting a kiss on the side of Ryan's cheek.

Ryan smiled, "I still think you're crazy." She always felt good hearing Beyoncé confess her feelings. She was so good at that, making her feel wanted, loved. She was so passionate.

"And you have mommy issues," Beyoncé's voice took on a serious tinge, looking at Ryan from the corner of her eye, her beauty mark matching the position of her gaze.

"Doesn't everyone?" Ryan shrugged. She still hadn't spoken to her parents since before she'd left for the Fourth. She didn't have anything to say to them.

"Some are worse than others," Beyoncé said.

"What about yours?" Ryan raised a brow. She was close to her now, the two within foot steps of one another.

"Mine don't show up with the women I date," Beyoncé's mind was on Gabrielle again. She couldn't believe how jealous that made her. Irrationally. Dangerously.

Don't they, Ryan wanted to say but she bit her tongue for now. "It's just a type Beyoncé, you have one too."

Beyoncé smirked, lowering her voice, "I know but I want to be your only type. Just me. Nobody else."

Ryan trembled. When she put it like that it sounded sexy. "You're so good at being jealous," she said inviting Beyoncé's touch.

"I'm not jealous," the blonde one scoffed, kissing along the shell of her ear. She wasn't usually a jealous person but with Gabrielle jealousy has consumed her in a way she still didn't want to admit.

Ryan laughed.

"I'm not."

"Right right..." Ryan smirked.

"What do I have to be jealous of?"

"Exactly baby, exactly," Ryan kissed her to shut her up. Then they pulled away and Ryan had a thought, "how do I know you're really in love with me and I'm not just another Kelly?"

Ryan had noticed the similarities between her and Kelly, looks-wise of course but even the way they spoke was similar. Their brief meeting had been one of recognition. It wasn't hard to imagine herself as just another Kelly.

"You're nothing like her," the words slipped from Beyoncé's mouth. What kind of question was that?

"But how do you know ?" Ryan asked. "How do you know you love me and I'm not just some kind of replacement for your first love?"

"I just know, Ryan." Beyoncé knew enough about love, both from experience and from her studies, to know that what she felt for Ryan wasn't the same as what she felt for Kelly.

She knew the way the brain responded in love. It was the same way it responded when meeting a basic need, as if she was drinking water to quench her thirst. Ryan was more like a glass of water than she was a piece of chocolate — necessary in her brain for her survival. But there were also the euphoric hormones released like dopamine, which made that glass of water taste exactly like a silky rich chocolate bar that she couldn't get enough of.

Serotonin levels, however, fall when love is new, which make it hard to regulate things like appetite and anxiety. Which was why Beyoncé still struggled not to feel jealous, not to act irrational, and just to breathe around Ryan sometimes. It made her feel crazy.

She thought about explaining all of that to Ryan, but the specific interaction of chemicals in her brain didn't quite capture the depth of her feelings.

"I know because you're not Kelly. I'm not holding onto some childish fantasy of you. I'm not using you to get over someone else. I'm just in love with you and it shouldn't have taken so long for me to say it but I'm in love with you."

Ryan looked at Beyoncé trying to determine how truthful any of that was. She didn't see her playing with her hands or thinking about how to lie. Instead she looked almost vulnerable, hoping her answer made sense to Ryan. Her hazel eyes shone, so wide as she waited for Ryan to say something.

"Okay," Ryan spoke but she still needed a minute. Beyoncé was a lover girl, that much was obvious.

The blonde placed a finger beneath Ryan's chin, looking at her with pure adoration. Ryan fluttered her eyelashes shyly as a finger stroked her cheek, lovingly gazing into her doe eyes as if she really believed in love again.

"I love you honey and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that earlier."

"I... I love you too Beyoncé but I need some space. Everything's always so intense with you," Ryan thought for a second. "I'm gonna go back home today, okay?" She pressed her lips to Beyoncé's mouth, grazing under her chin with her fingernails.

———————[A/N]Thoughts? Ryan needing space?

Brooke crying? Is she gonna get over it? Who's she more mad at? Thoughts on what Zendaya said?

Bey and Ryans conversation? You think Ryan's still mad about Kelly?