Part 47

Ryan could hear Brooke and Beyoncé yelling at each other even as they climbed the steps, Beyoncé following behind her practically begging Brooke to listen as Ryan just sat there stunned and silent.

Brooklyn had actually screamed when she saw them, as if she was seeing a ghost or something scary. The two had jumped apart and Beyoncé got up quickly, ready to apologise or explain or lie or whatever she had to do. "Brooke—"

"What the fuck?" Brooke backed away, eyes glued to her mother who looked like she was trying to diffuse a bomb.

"It's not what it looks like," Beyoncé scrambled, eyebrows arched and her face growing pinker as she stared at her daughter.

"Not what it...? What the fuck mom?" Brooke walked out disgusted and Beyoncé followed behind her trying to apologise and get her child together.

"Language Brooke..."

"Don't talk to me about language when you were just— oh my god," she looked so disgusted as she thought about what she'd seen.

"If you just let me explain—"

"Explain what mom? Get away from me."

"Brooklyn Gi—"

"Don't even try to full name me or talk about respect when you just had your tongue down my best friends throat. What was that?"

"Oh now you're best friends?" Beyoncé rolled her eyes. "But it was nothing. It was just..."

"I'm not blind mom."

"Okay yes it was something. I..." she paused taking a breath. "Ryan and I—"

"I'm gonna be sick. That's disgusting," Brooke actually looked like she might really throw up.

"Brooke it's—"

"No mom what the fuck?"

"Watch your mouth."

They continued like this and Ryan sighed. It wasn't her fault this was happening but she sighed anyway. It was her who was about to deal with Beyoncé changing her mind about what they were doing. Maybe they should've gone upstairs before they started kissing. Maybe Ryan shouldn't have encouraged her like that.

But Brooke had to find out at some point and Ryan really didn't care for all the dramatics. Ryan hadn't said anything when Brooke started screaming like that. The girl was dramatic and spoiled and that had nothing to do with Ryan.

Sure they were friends but Brooke fucked people and didn't tell her about it. How was this any different to that?

She stayed on the sofa for a while since this seemed like a mother and daughter thing but she could hear yelling from upstairs and it was awkward to be listening to. She probably had made it worse with that comment from months ago. But she couldn't do anything about that now.

Brooke was months pregnant and yelling at her mom like she was the one who knocked her up. They went back and forth, Brooke yelling incendiary words as Beyoncé tried her best to reason with her. She tried to explain, even tried to tell her off for using that type of language, but Brooke wasn't listening.

Beyoncé had broken her trust.

Ryan felt like she shouldn't be hearing this. Maybe she should leave. But she didn't see why she had to go. So instead, she crept up into the guest room and just laid there in silence scrolling on her phone for a while, trying to tune out the yelling.

The mother and daughter shouted at each other for another 30 minutes before Beyoncé sighed, closing the door and finally left Brooke alone. She needed space. Beyoncé could give her that. But she really didn't want Brooke to still be upset with her.

She knocked at Ryan's door, slowly pushing it open until Ryan looked up, indicating she was still awake.

"Come sleep with me?" Beyoncé asked, quietly under the cover of the night.

Ryan raised a brow and Beyoncé flicked on the light.

"She knows now, there's no point in trying to hide it from her."

Ryan shrugged, got up and followed her to her bedroom. They got into bed and Ryan snuggled into her chest letting Beyoncé's silk pyjamas brush against her skin as she felt her heartbeat.

"You have a type," Ryan said through a yawn.

Beyoncé raised a brow, "huh?"

"Kelly..."

Beyoncé tucked a lip between her teeth, "it was that obvious?"

Ryan didn't say a word waiting for Beyoncé to tell her something about Kelly. She'd just found out Beyoncé was married and all she could say was that it was obvious?

Beyoncé sighed. She could sense Ryan's irritation or maybe anger. But there was no need for any more stress. What happened with Kelly was over now. Extremely over.

"Can we talk about it tomorrow?" Beyoncé asked switching off the lamp indicating that she was done with this conversation. She'd just spent the last hour arguing with Brooke and she didn't have the energy for another argument. This whole day had been full of stress. Ryan was supposed to be helping her relieve that.

Ryan rolled her eyes. She didn't want to wait. But it had been a long day so instead she sighed closing her eyes and shrugging Beyoncé's arm off of her.

Beyoncé put her arm back. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day.

Beyoncé woke up to an empty bed and frowned. She took a shower hoping Ryan would appear downstairs when she got ready. After dressing, she went to look for Ryan and couldn't find her in the kitchen or living room.

She even checked outside to see if Ryan was by the pool or something but she wasn't. She frowned and went back upstairs to find the guest room was also completely empty and Ryans stuff was gone.

She immediately called her wondering where she was. Had she just left in the middle of the night? When Ryan didn't answer, Beyoncé called again pacing the kitchen, her left hand scratching her scalp trying not to think the worst.

Peaches: Morning honey, where are you?

She texted, trying not to panic as she waited for a reply. Minutes went by of her staring at the phone, trying to debate whether to call her again or not.

Peaches: If this is about last night, we can talk now. I miss you honey

Peaches: I know you're upset but I'll tell you everything

Beyoncé paced the kitchen, trying to calm down as she made herself some coffee. Ryan was probably just going for a walk or something. She just needed space. It was probably fine.

Peaches: I understand if you need space but please let me explain

Peaches: I checked and there's still no flights out so I don't know where you are and I'm worried honey. Just let me know you're okay please

The kitchen smelled of coffee as Brooklyn trudged into the room, wearing her fluffy bunny slippers. Beyoncé looked up hopeful then lost her light as she saw it was Brooke entering the room.

"Do you know where Ryan is?" Beyoncé asked. She could tell Brooke was still mad at her, frazzled by what she'd seen. But Ryan was missing so she just decided to ask.

"I guess it wasn't a nightmare," Brooke gagged heading straight for the cupboards to find a box of cereal.

Beyoncé sighed. She felt like she was about to be explaining herself all day. "Brooke, we should talk."

"About what?" Brooklyn huffed and sat down at the table, waiting for her mom to say whatever she had to say.

"Ryan and I..." she trailed off.

Brooke saw the crinkle beside her eye, the way her lips twitched at the corners and she frowned, disgusted she would even start a sentence like that.

"Mom you're not serious?"

There was no way it was more than just her mom experimenting. Some kind of midlife crisis. She just needed to get whatever this was out of her system. And Ryan... Ryan needed her ass beat again.

"Brooke it just happened," Beyoncé bit down on her lip.

"How does that just happen mom? You're like double her age. Stuff like that doesn't just happen."

"It's the same as how you getting pregnant just happened." Beyoncé spat her daughter's own words back at her.

"That has nothing to do with you and my roommate. How did you even end up talking to her like that? When did this start?"

Beyoncé sighed running a hand through her hair, "Brooke you don't wanna know."

"No mom how long have you been lying to me?"

"Remember when I first came up for the study? We went to that cafe, Ryan and I were talking again," Beyoncé bit the inside of her lip. She was going to be honest now, she might as well tell her the truth. As much of the truth as sounded okay.

Brooke's eyes widened. Wasn't that the day when Ryan had come home late and they'd all been wondering where she was? "What?" She asked, hesitantly. It had been months since then and no one said anything?

"I mean we stopped," Beyoncé backtracked. "After you had that argument, we stopped. I tried to stop. I told her we couldn't see each other anymore."

"But you kept lying to me?"

"Brooke I..." Beyoncé sighed hand twisting through her hair.

"You lied mom, you literally said she was crazy and that she was lying when I mentioned it to you."

"I'm sorry about that, I p—"

"I told her everything you said last night about her parents. How you basically said she was delusional and crazy and she made it all up just to be a bitch."

Beyoncé chewed her lower lip pushing off from the counter. "So you're the reason she left?" she groaned checking her phone again for a reply.

"I knew something was off. I just— it sounded crazy so I let you lie about it," Brooklyn groaned into her bowl of cereal. "She's younger than me, mom, and then on top of that you lied about it."

"I just didn't know what to say, Brooke," Beyoncé explained. "You were so emotional—"

"Don't blame this on me, you should've told me the truth— or you. If you couldn't tell me it's probably because you never should've been doing this. That's so fucking gross. Ew."

"What's ew? She's beautiful, she's kind. You said it yourself, she's—"

"Mom stop," Brooklyn said letting the milk drip back out of her mouth as she contemplated throwing up again. "That's fucking disgusting."

Beyoncé raised a brow, Brooke had about one more time to cuss. "What do you want from me Brooke?" Beyoncé rolled her eyes.

"I want you to not be fucking my roommate," she spat.

"Look I know you're mad but watch your mouth. I'm still your mother."

"You're fucking my friend. My best friend."

"She's not your... you know what, whatever Brooke." Beyoncé pushed off from the counter, ready to leave the room.

Brooke gagged and felt her stomach drop. "Dad was right about you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Beyoncé whipped around at the door.

"Nothing. Can you just go?"

"Not until you tell me what you mean by that."

"Mom you're dating my roommate and you lied to me about it and gaslit me. You told me she was crazy and I believed you. That's so messed up."

"It's not—"

"Not what mom? You said that I was hormonal and that she was lying when both of us were the only ones being honest. She might've been rude to say it but you lied and made me feel like I was crazy. And made me think she was a liar. How is that not gaslighting?"

"Brooke I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"How do you think I feel now?" Brooke rolled her eyes touching her hand to her stomach again. She wanted to retch at the thought of her mother and her friend. But she probably could've got over that if she wasn't also being lied to. Or she would've been mad but at least she would've known and wouldn't feel like her mother was a liar.

Beyoncé sighed rubbing her temples.

Then the doorbell rang, and she jumped up going to answer it. She was hoping Ryan was finally back. Maybe she'd just gone for a walk and her phone had died. That made sense. Hopefully Ryan was back and they could talk and she could fix things.

She swung open the door excitedly, but it took everything in her not to slam it shut when she saw the woman on the other side of the door.

"Beyoncé!" Kelly closed the door behind her barging in, before Beyoncé could say a word. "We need to talk," she said.

Beyoncé rolled her eyes, "talk about what Kelly?"

"About you and me." Kelly frowned, taking care to hang her jacket on one of the hooks.

"Kelly we—" she huffed.

"No Beyoncé, you're not getting out of this. You really fucked up and I'm mad at you." She sounded like she was about to tell her off and Beyoncé found it amusing.

"Ugh fine Kelly what do you want?" Beyoncé asked stomping behind her into her own house.

"I want you back."

"Wh—" Beyoncé somehow hadn't prepared herself for that even though it was obvious. Kelly had got on a flight to get here. Of course she wasn't ready to let go of her. Of course she'd come back so they could get back together.

"Bumblebee you tracked me down and asked me to marry you. We should be together, this is silly."

"What if I don't want to be with you," Beyoncé said. "It's not silly, it's just how breakups work." She had lost the ability to be nice now. She was so tired of everyone being mad at her, and she was still checking her phone every couple of minutes to see if Ryan responded. She was trying to be logical about Ryan but she was running out of logic and it was turning to worry.

"Is it because of that little girl? What was her name?" Kelly rolled her eyes.

"Shut up about her," Beyoncé's jaw stiffened tightly.

"You left me for a fucking kid?"

"She's not a kid and it's none of your business because guess what Kelly?" She asked holding up her hand. "No ring on my finger."

Brooke barged past them both, going upstairs to get her stuff. "Oh the other one you didn't tell me about," she rolled her eyes giving her mom a pointed glare and looking Kelly up and down.

"Brooke—" Beyoncé groaned as the younger one went upstairs and slammed the door. Beyoncé would deal with that later.

Then Kelly started getting angry again. "You didn't even tell her we were married Bey?"

Everyone needed to calm the fuck down. Why was she being yelled at so much? And it was still so early. Where was Ryan?

"We're not married. I never mailed in the fucking papers."

"We went to a church, we had rings. You said you loved me Beyoncé," Kelly remembered every single detail, from the pale pink peonies in the front to the fake bronze trim borders on the church walls. She even remembered the couple that had gone after them, how they wouldn't stop smiling at each other's noses. How she felt those same, butterflies in her stomach.

"Bey you tracked me down after 20 years and asked me to marry you, just to leave me?" Kelly's voice didn't know if she was mad or if she was hurt.

"I wasn't planning to leave you Kelly."

Beyoncé had a different recollection of the day. She remembered it taking place only four hours after the proposal. Kelly had gone out and found a beautiful white dress and Beyoncé had stood beside her in matching all white.

She'd looked at Kelly, dressed in sandals instead of heels, toes painted, hair done. Kelly had magically gotten ready so fast, cheap jewellery looking expensive against her flawless skin.

While Beyoncé had tried her best to look presentable beside her, her hair straightened after her struggle to do a bun, her makeup was perfect, and her press-on nails were white.

The whole day was rushed and spur of the moment. Beyoncé was happy that day, but it was like the blast from a firework, beautiful, unplanned and ephemeral. The type of day you remembered the emotion of rather than the details.

"But you did leave me Beyoncé. Did you just wanna ruin me? What about my kids? They loved you. You stayed with us for months just to disappear without even saying goodbye."

"Kelly it wasn't like that I swear," Beyoncé's hands rubbed at her temples, quelling the racing heat in her chest.

"Then what was it like?" Kelly's pitch raised, and Beyoncé heard it. Most people wouldn't have heard the hurt but Beyoncé did. She'd known Kelly since they were kids.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Kells, but you left me first..."

"That was almost 20 years ago! We were kids and you know why I left. Don't bring that up when I didn't even know how you felt back then. I just needed to get away—"

"From me? You still left me Kelly, you didn't tell me you were going you just left and now you're mad at me for doing the same thing."

"We got married B-"

"No we didn't," Beyoncé remembered more now. How her hands had shook and Shawn had flashed into her mind. She'd given Kelly a ring — a generic one — and not the same ring she'd thought about since she was 16, planning their future in her mind. How somehow it didn't feel right to marry the girl she'd been in love with all this time. At the same time, it was all she had.

"So it was revenge. You wanted to leave me to get back at me because you couldn't fucking tell me how you felt when we were teenagers. Congratulations Bey you fucking did it. Now my sons still ask about you and I don't have anything to tell them."

"Kelly just tell them I died or something, it really doesn't matter," Beyoncé rubbed her temples.

Kelly glared at her like she was crazy.

Brooke walked downstairs and Beyoncé's stress levels shot up once again. "Where are you g—"

"Out," she slammed the front door closed. Beyoncé took a breath. Brooke knew her way around. Hopefully she was going to find Ryan and bring her home.

She turned to Kelly. "Sorry," Beyoncé recanted. "I'm sorry I left you," she said taking a deep breath and trying to take accountability. The darker one's eyebrows knitted together and she walked through the house to find the kitchen, "Bey? You told me you were in love with me, we got married and then two months later I woke up and you were gone. You can't just treat people like that."

"I didn't leave you Kelly, you left me," Beyoncé sighed.

"How—"

"You were always there in the back of my mind. Even when I married Shawn, I'd wonder how things turned out, if you ever really loved me back the way I loved you. So when I got divorced, I tracked you down and found out. But you were supposed to still be with Tim. That was why you left me when we were kids. You were supposed to still be together. You weren't supposed to be divorced and gay. You weren't supposed to want me too," Beyoncé groaned, remembering the soft feel of Kelly's lips on hers. It felt so easy, too easy.

"And then you said yes when I asked you to marry me. You said yes when you knew, you knew, I had just got divorced. You knew what I was going through. Didn't you think I was crazy? Didn't you think about the fact I never let you come over and you never met my daughter. Didn't you care that I wasn't okay, that I was clearly acting crazy?"

"You're the psychiatrist bumble. I just thought you were shy," Kelly explained. "I thought that you loved me. You proposed, I just wanted to make you happy." Kelly's eyes deepened against the cool tones of Beyoncé's home.

"I don't care. You know why I left."

Kelly rolled her eyes this time. Couldn't Beyoncé see she wasn't thinking any of that? Kelly grabbed herself a glass of water and the two sat back down in the living room to have a real conversation about all of this.

"Bey?" Kelly's eyes softened in her vulnerability. Beyoncé had left her and broken her heart and she didn't seem to care, she was so focused on Kelly doing it first. But they were teens back then. Beyoncé had done this as a fully formed adult. "I loved you— I love you. And maybe I should've thought the whole marriage thing through a little more but you left me Beyoncé. You just left in the middle of the night."

Beyoncé felt sick. Is that what Ryan was doing to her? Just leaving and disappearing.

"I know," Beyoncé said. "I'm sorry for that but we just weren't meant to be."

"Why not? Why did you even find me if you were just going to leave me?"

"I wasn't planning on leaving you, Kells it's not that simple..."

"Yes it is. You told me you spent all this money tracking me down, you asked me to get married, we go to the altar and then what? You just leave one day?"

Beyoncé groaned. She knew it was wrong. "I'm sorry, I went about that the wrong way, you deserved a conversation."

"I did Bey and so did the boys. You just... you just left us," Kelly searched her eyes for an explanation and Beyoncé placed a hand over Kelly's, slowly stroking with her thumb. "They still ask me where their B.B is."

Beyoncé felt bad. She hadn't thought much about Kelly's feelings, let alone her kids who she'd been building a relationship with. She'd just been focused on her own child and getting out of that situation. She'd left two young kids after being around them almost all of the time. She hadn't even stopped to consider the effect that had on them.

"What was it Bey? You didn't really love me?"

"Kells no I loved you so much, it hurt just to look at you. It still does. I hate that I left you, but I never meant to hurt you," she sighed. Beyoncé seemed to be hurting the people she loved all the time now.

"I love you too Bey."

"I just can't be with you anymore Kells."

"But why?"

"Our history. When I'm around you I go back to being that scared little girl whose mom was on drugs. It's like I'm searching for something in you that I have to give myself and that's not fair to either of us."

Kelly looked at her, eyes shimmering. "But Bey... we were good together."

"I know Kelly," Beyoncé placed a finger underneath her chin, tilting it up. "I'm just not there anymore."

"Bumblebee—"

"Even that nickname makes me feel like I'm 14 again trying to get Solange to go to school on time without her asking where mom is or why she doesn't have one like all the other kids," she sighed running her hand through her hair.

Kelly looked down, her hand still in Beyoncé's. "You could've told me," she said simply.

"I know," Beyoncé saw the sincerity in Kelly's eyes. "I just ran and I'm sorry Kells, I still care about you."

"That girl?" Kelly asked raising a brow.

"Ryan," Beyoncé's tone was warning.

"Don't do the same thing to her. Don't run from her, Bey," Kelly said simply. "You love her I can tell."

"Wh-"

Kelly just nodded, a sad smile on her face. "I can tell you really love her Bey, that's how you used to look at me."

"I can still look at you like that," Beyoncé smirked. She couldn't help it.

"Girl shut up," Kelly rolled her eyes standing up to leave. "I'm sorry I left you back then. It's only fair you get to leave me too I guess."

Beyoncé wiped her eyes, getting up to see her out. It was much more complex than that but she appreciated Kelly not pushing it. "You look good Kelly," Beyoncé smiled, opening the door for her. "Don't let me get in the way of you moving on."

"Give me a hug," Kelly's eyes focused on her. They weren't seductive fuck me eyes but they weren't innocent either. Somewhere between both but Beyoncé was the same.

She placed a hand on Kelly's shoulder before, pulling her closer and holding her tight. She missed her best friend more than anything. Both their eyes fell closed as they breathed each other in, realising your first love is not necessarily your forever love.

"I love you Kells," Beyoncé said pulling away. Then she gave her a small peck. She had missed her.

Kelly looked up catching Ryan's eye who was pulling into the driveway. "You should probably deal with that," Kelly said pointing at the black car. "Bye Bey, I'll always love you."

Beyoncé sighed walking towards the car. "Hone—"

—————————[A/N]Good morning yall, I thought the Kelly timeline was so obvious but apparently yall didn't catch that? 😭 the gay marriage thing was so funny because I thought that would've gave it away like it was the late 90's so no guys it really wasn't legal 😭😭😭Timeline:Childhood: bey & Kelly mess around and beys in love with Kelly but never tells herTeens: Kelly leaves & marries Tim20s: bey leaves, marries Shawn and has Brooke40: bey gets divorced40s: bey finds Kelly and "marries" her (same time she was neglecting Brooke). Then she leaves her.43: bey meets Ryan

Anyways, thoughts on Bey and Kelly's conversation?

What about Ryan leaving? Is she about to forgive her after what she just saw? What do you think is going through Ryan's mind?

Bey and Brooke's argument? Is she ever gonna stop being mad at her?

Also, how do yall imagine Brooke looking? Is she lightskin to yall? Is she thicc or skinny? What's her hair like? I feel like we have completely different images in mind lol