SIX

"Olivia, can you help me?!" Amanda yelled from her bedroom. Her morning sickness had fizzled out mostly, so Olivia had approved her request to go back to work. Even if Olivia was worried that Amanda would overdo it at work and lose all the progress she had made, she couldn't keep Amanda locked up in her apartment any longer.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked as she moved into Amanda's bedroom as she finished buttoning her blouse.

"These fucking pants won't button," Amanda huffed. She turned away from the mirror and looked at Olivia. 

Olivia fought off a smile since she knew Amanda was frustrated, before stepping towards her friend. 

"They won't button because you are pregnant. Bloating or actually developing a bump is going to cause your pant and shirt size to go up."

"Nope, I won't let it! I'm will not get an entire new wardrobe just because Declan had to knock me up!" Amanda yelled. Olivia didn't reply as she pushed Amanda towards the bed. 

She motioned for Amanda to lie down, before speaking.

"Alright, suck in as much as you can. I'll get these buttoned and zipped, but if they rip... You'll be forced to get new pants. I won't be allowing you to wear sweats or yoga pants to work," Olivia breathed.

"Please, just get them to close," Amanda grumbled. 

After a few tries, Olivia finally got Amanda's pants to button. She held Amanda's hands and pulled her to her feet. Amanda looked at Olivia, her face covered in disappointment.

"What? Is everything-"

"I can't breathe," Amanda whispered, as tears welled in her soft blue eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Amanda... But I think you need to at least size up. You can borrow a pair of my slacks, and tonight we will get you more clothes. Okay?" Olivia asked, as she reached out and gently grabbed Amanda's hand.

"Everything is so fucked up, Liv. Now I'm losing my body too," Amanda sniffled, before she stepped forward and hugged Olivia tightly.

"It's hard, but at least you get a baby in the end. A baby will be worth this all."

///

Nick and Carisi were anxiously waiting for Amanda to arrive at work. They both had lots of questions to ask, and they hadn't been answered since Amanda was ghosting them the entire time she was on medical leave.

"So she's through her first trimester, so the baby is definitely not mine," Carisi frowned, as he and Nick stood by the coffee pots.

"Yeah, it's not mine either... Are you disappointed at all?" Nick asked, as he sat the pot back on the warmer. 

Carisi looked over at the doors, before back at the dark-haired detective.

"I think just disappointed is an understatement. I really care about Amanda, and thinking that we may have a baby together was exciting. I would have stepped forward and taken care of her and that baby... But it's Declan Murphy's, and he has claim over her and the baby. Not me... not you," Carisi frowned, as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Nick reached out and squeezed Carisi's shoulder before going to speak. He stopped the moment he saw Olivia and Amanda walk into the squadroom together.

"Good morning, detectives," Olivia smiled as she spotted them.

"Hey, Sarge," Carisi replied, as he looked down at the mug of steaming coffee in his hand.

Everyone got settled for the morning before Olivia calling them to gather around the whiteboard with all the information they had about their latest rape case. As Olivia caught everyone up since they hadn't had a break in the case and took the weekend to relax and recharge, Amanda felt eyes upon her.

She turned to face the creep and saw Dominick zoned out on her. He didn't even notice that he wasn't looking at the back of her head, but when he realized, his cheeks turned red and he moved his attention to Olivia.

"Alright, we need to interview the boss and boyfriend again. As you know, stories change and I have a gut feeling one of these men was the rapist. So Fin and Nick, take the boyfriend. Carisi and I will talk to the boss," Olivia spoke, before waving her hand and dismissing her squad.

Amanda followed Olivia into her office and sighed deeply at the thought of being stuck at the precinct during an investigation she could break wide open.

"Liv, can't I go out with Carisi?" Amanda asked. Olivia turned around as she clipped her gun into place in its holster on her hip.

"Amanda."

"Liv, can't I just work until my pregnancy gets in the way? I can wear a vest or use Dominick as a human shield if things get dicey," Amanda smiled, as she tried to convince her boss.

Olivia walked around her desk and stood right in front of Amanda. If Amanda cried over her pants not fitting, Olivia wasn't sure she was in the best mental mindset to be investigating a rape out in the field.

"It's your first day back, and this case is almost closed. Maybe with the next case you can, but not this one. Okay?"

"Liv, please. I'm begging you. Let me go out," Amanda whispered, as tears welled in her eyes again. She wasn't trying to guilt trip Olivia, but if tears worked, then she wouldn't mind the end results.

"Let me make a call. Give me five minutes."

///

Dodds approved of Amanda being in the field occasionally, but only until she couldn't deny the fact she was pregnant. Olivia sent her out with Carisi, which was exactly what Amanda wanted. She wanted to discuss why he wouldn't stop staring at her during the briefing.

"It's good to have you back. How are you doing?" Carisi questioned, as he drove to their victim's place of work.

"I haven't thrown up in two weeks, so I'm good. Thanks for asking," Amanda replied.

"That's good. Um-"

"Why were you being creepy this morning? You zoned out on me, and-"

"I didn't mean to come off as creepy. It's just that I've been trying to contact you for weeks, but you always ignored me. I love you, and-"

"Hold up there, Carisi. Please don't confess your love to me, because I'm not ready for any relationship right now. Even if I did, I don't think I'd pick you or Nick. Not all men are like Declan, but I'm not ready to find out if you and Nick end up being more like him than I think."