Part 106

The door swung open, and the medical team entered with a swift, clinical efficiency. As the paramedics positioned themselves to lift Caroline onto the stretcher, Noel scrambled to his feet, his movements frantic and desperate.

'I'm going with her,' Noel rasped, grabbing his coat from the chair, but Liam stepped squarely in his path, placing both hands on Noel's chest to anchor him.

'No, Noel. You can't go. Not right now,' Liam said, his voice low but immovable.

'Get out of my way, Liam! I'm going' Noel snapped, his voice vibrating with raw adrenaline and heartbreak.

'Listen to me!' Liam gripped Noel's upper arms, forcing his brother to meet his eyes. 'You have to get to the arena. The soundcheck starts in twenty minutes, and the entire crew is already waiting. If you don't show up, the rumors start, the press descends, and this whole thing turns into a circus she doesn't need right now.'

Noel tried to wrench himself free, but Liam's hold was like iron. 'And the kids, Noel..they're already there. Debbie already brought them to the arena. They're waiting for you. Do you want them to see you like this? Or do you want them hearing from some roadie that something is wrong with Caro?'

'Go over there.' Liam repeated more gently. 'Do the soundcheck, hold your kids, and make them feel safe. I'll follow the ambulance and text you the second she's admitted to the facility. As soon as the soundcheck is done, you come straight to her. Do you hear me?'

Noel stared at the empty doorway, his heart torn between Caro and his kids. With a shuddering breath, he finally let his shoulders slump.

'Fine' he choked out, his voice hard with a painful promise. 'Just make sure she knows I'm coming, Liam. Make sure she knows.' He didn't wait for an answer. He couldn't. If he stayed another second, watching the tail end of the stretcher disappear around the corner of the hallway, he knew his resolve would shatter.

The drive to the arena was a blur. By the time he pulled into the secure loading bay, the "professional" mask was beginning to slip over the raw edges of his grief. He stepped out of the car and was immediately hit by the muffled, rhythmic thumping of bass coming from the stage.

As he entered the backstage area, the smell of stale coffee and flight cases filled his senses. Standing near the catering table was Debbie, looking anxious, with the kids clustered around her. The moment they saw him, their faces lit up, oblivious to the fact that Caroline was currently being admitted to a psychiatric detox wing.

'Daddy!' the three of them yelled, racing toward him. Noel caught them in an embrace that was far too tight, burying his face in their hair to hide the fact that his eyes were stinging. He felt like a fraud. Every beat of his heart was screaming Caroline, but he had to talk about setlists and snacks.

'Hey, monsters,' he whispered, his voice miraculously steadying as he pulled back to look at them. 'You been good to Aunt Debbie?'

He looked up at Debbie, who gave him a knowing, somber nod. She knew enough to know that his presence here was a sacrifice.

'The band's on stage, Noel,' she said quietly. 'They're waiting for you to plug in.'

Noel stood up, the weight of the situation weighing on him like a thousand pounds. 'Ok, be good to Aunt Debbie, I'll be back soon.'

Noel jumped off the stage, the feedback from his guitar still humming through the hollow arena like a low, mournful growl. He didn't look at the roadies or the rest of the band; he moved like a man whose skin was on fire. He reached the shadows of the wings, where Debbie stood in the shadows, her eyes locked on him, the tears he had bottled up were starting to run free the moment he cleared the stage.

She didn't wait for him to reach her. She stepped out from the darkness, meeting him halfway.

'Noel,' she breathed, before he could say a word or turn away to hide the crack in his mask, she wrapped her arms around him in a fierce, grounding embrace. She pulled him in tight, Noel let out a choked sound, half-sob, half-sigh, as he collapsed into her. His hands fumbled for the back of her coat, clinging to her like a drowning man, while she simply held him, steady and silent,

Noel pulled back slightly, his grip on her coat tightening as if he were trying to anchor himself to the earth. He looked at her, his eyes glassy and vacant, 'I've lost her, Debs,' he rasped, the words sounding like they were being torn from his throat.

The finality of it seemed to hit him harder now that the music had stopped. On stage, he could hide behind the wall of sound, but in the silence of the wings, there was nowhere left to run.

'I keep waiting for the world to make sense again,' he continued, his voice dropping to a broken whisper.

Debbie didn't pull away. She reached up, cupping his face with one hand, forcing him to meet her eyes. 'You haven't lost her, Noel,' she said softly, though her own voice wavered. 'But I know. I know the world feels empty without her but she's gonna get through this, you'll see'.

Noel shook his head, a single, jagged breath escaping him. 'I don't know, Deb..she couldn't even look at me..' his voice trailing off into a hollow whisper. 'She looked right through me, Debs. Like I was just..part of the furniture. Like I was the one hurting her just by being there.'

He let go of her coat, his hands dropping uselessly to his sides, trembling. 'How do you come back from that?'

Debbie stepped closer, refusing to let the distance grow. She reached out and took both of his shaking hands in hers, squeezing them until he was forced to feel the pressure.

'She couldn't look at you because she's drowning right now, Noel,' Debbie said firmly, her eyes fierce with a protective kind of love. 'When you're under that much water, you can't see the person reaching in to save you. You just see the shadows.'

She leaned in, making sure he heard every word. 'She didn't look at you because she's ashamed, not because she's gone. There's a difference. And if you give up on her now, if you decide you've "lost" her before the doctors have even started, then you're letting that shame win. Give her time..all we can do is make absolutely sure Rob and Sara won't be able to avoid their punishment'

Noel wiped a hand across his eyes, at the mention of Rob and Sara, his expression shifted, the vacant glassiness in his eyes sharpening into something cold and dangerous.

'They're the reason she's under that water,' he spat, his voice dropping to a low, lethal vibration. 'They spent months chipping away at her, making her feel like she was the problem while they fed the fire. They watched her unravel and they just...they just kept pushing.'

He looked down at his hands, which were no longer just trembling from exhaustion, but vibrating with a renewed, dark energy. 'I want them to feel even a fraction of the fear she felt today. I want them to lose everything. I'll make sure of it.'

Debbie didn't flinch. She kept her grip on his hands, her voice like cold steel. 'And they will, Noel. Your lawyers started pulling the files. They will bury them.'

Noel nodded slowly, the jagged edges of his grief finally finding a focus. 'They better. Because if the law doesn't do it, I will.'

Debbie nodded, her expression softening as she glanced toward the hallway where the kids were being kept. 'And the kids, Noel?' she asked quietly. 'What do we tell them?'

Noel stiffened, the mention of them cutting through his anger like a knife. He pulled his hands back to rub his face, his voice muffled by his palms.

'I don't know, Debs. I honestly don't know,' he rasped. 'How do I explain that Caro is somewhere I can't just go and get her? How do you tell them she's sick, but not the kind of sick they understand?'

He looked up, his eyes bloodshot and desperate. 'I don't want to lie to them. But I can't tell them the truth about Rob or Sara, about what those bastards did to her. It would destroy their world.'

Debbie gave his arm a steadying squeeze. 'Maybe they don't need the whole truth. Not yet. Just that the doctors are helping her find her strength again. That she needs a lot of rest.'

Noel shook his head, a bitter taste in his mouth. 'They're smart, Debs. They'll know I'm scared.'

'Then let them see that you're brave instead,' Debbie countered, her voice soft but unyielding. 'Being scared and being brave aren't different things, Noel. They need to see that even if things are hard, you're not going anywhere. That all of us aren't going anywhere.'

Noel took a long, shuddering breath, trying to force the lethal coldness he felt for Rob and Sara into a different compartment of his mind. He couldn't take that shadow into the room with his children.

'Just..stay close, okay?' he muttered, looking at Debbie with a vulnerability he rarely showed anyone. 'If I get it wrong, if I start to slip...just help me, ok?.'

'I've got you,' she promised.

As they walked toward the dressing room door, the muffled sounds of the kids playing inside, unaware that their friend was being admitted to a psychiatric facility miles away, made Noel's heart ache with a fresh intensity. He paused with his hand on the brass handle, his thumb hovering over the wood.

He pushed the door open. The bright lights of the dressing room felt blinding after the shadows of the wings. Instantly, the kids looked up from the floor where they were scattered amongst guitar picks, games and coloring books.

'Daddy! Can we go see Caro now?' Donovan asked, scrambling to his feet with a wide, expectant grin.

Noel felt the air leave his lungs. He looked at Debbie, then back at his son, forced to give the performance of his life. 'Not tonight, Donovan,' Noel said, his voice straining to stay gentle.

'Is she okay?' Bowie asked, her eyes narrowing with that sharp intuition Noel had been dreading.

Noel swallowed hard, forcing a small, reassuring smile that didn't reach his eyes. 'Caro is just... she's not feeling very well right now, love. You know how sometimes you get a really bad bug and you just need to sleep it off? Well, she's got something like that, but she needs a lot of rest. More than she can get at home.'

'Is she at the hospital?' Sonny asked, clutching a stray plectrum tightly.

'She's with some very good doctors who are going to make sure she sleeps and eats and gets her strength back,' Noel explained, his heart hammering against his ribs. 'We have to let her be for a little bit. She needs to focus on getting better.'

'But she'll be back soon?' Donovan asked, his expectant grin finally fading into something more uncertain.

Noel felt a lump form in his throat. 'We're going to do everything we can to help her, okay? I promise. Daddy's here, and Auntie Debbie and Uncle Liam are here, and we're all going to look after each other while Caro gets her rest.'

The black SUV tore away from the stadium, pulling into the gates of the private hospital twenty minutes later. Noel threw the door open before the vehicle fully stopped, stepping out into the warm afternoon air.

Standing by the secure corridor doors was Liam, he strode forward immediately, his face etched with anxiety. 'The kids?' he asked quickly, his voice a hushed whisper. 'Did you tell them?'

'They're okay. They think she has a bad bug,' Noel rasped, his jaw tight. 'Debbie is with them in the dressing room.'

Liam nodded, a brief flash of relief crossing his face before he checked his watch. 'Good. You've got a window, Noel, but you need to be back in time for the show. Don't lose track of time.'

'I won't,' Noel muttered. 'Where is she?'

'Room 14.' Liam swiped a pass against the scanner. The lock disengaged with a heavy click. 'She's sedated again, Noel. All she does is cry..but go on. She needs you.'

Noel pushed the door open, the silence inside was broken only by the rhythmic, mechanical beep of a heart monitor.

Caro was sitting propped up against the pillows, the moment the door swung open, her head turned. Her eyes, glassy and unfocused from the heavy sedation, locked onto him.

The moment she recognized his face, her expression fractured again. Big, silent tears immediately began to well up in her eyes, spilling over her pale cheeks.

Noel crossed the room in two long strides, his chest tightening painfully. He sat on the edge of the mattress and gently took her hand. His breath hitched when he felt her fingers suddenly tighten. Weakly she squeezed his hand back.

'Hey, Beautiful,' he whispered, his voice cracking as he leaned in closer. He used his thumb to brush the tears from her wet cheek.

Caro's lips parted slightly, trembling violently as she tried to fight against the sedation. 'The... kids?' she managed to push out, her voice nothing more than a broken, gravelly scratch. Her grip tightened painfully on his fingers. 'They..know?'

The sheer terror in her eyes hit Noel like a physical blow, replacing the joy he felt that she was talking to him again. He leaned down further, wrapping his other hand over hers to anchor her.

'No, darling. No, they don't know,' Noel assured her quickly, his voice urgent but soft, trying to wash away her panic. 'They think you're just sleeping off a bad bug. They miss you so much. And I miss you even more..'

A shuddering breath escaped Caro's lips, and though the tears kept flowing, the desperate panic in her gaze softened slightly at his words. She sank a fraction deeper into the pillows, her hand still locked in his, 'I..miss..them..too.'

Noel squeezed her hand back, his heart hammering against his ribs as he fought to keep his own tears at bay. It didn't matter that she didn't say it back to him, all that mattered was that she was finding something to live for 'I know you do, so that's why you need to fight to get better..so we can all be back together again..soon yeah?'