Part 98

Noel was still spiralling, the weight of the tour and the kids pressing down on him, when the sliding door hissed open. It wasn't the kids this time.

The medic stood there, silhouetted against the dim light of the suite. He looked tired, but his expression had softened from the clinical mask he'd been wearing earlier.

'Mr. Gallagher,' the man said quietly. 'She's awake. She's..she's asking for you.'

The air left Noel's lungs in a long, shaky exhale. He didn't move for a second, his hands still gripped tight on the balcony railing. He felt Liam's eyes on him, a silent, heavy look of support that they rarely put into words.

'Go on,' Liam muttered, flicking his cigarette butt into the night. 'Debs and I will keep an eye on the kids' rooms. Just go.'

Noel nodded, pushing past the medic and heading back into the suite. Caroline was propped up slightly against the pillows, her eyes were shadowed with a deep, haunting exhaustion. Her gaze found him instantly, and she reached out a hand that was still trembling.

'Noel?' her voice was raw and dry.

He was at her side in a heartbeat, sinking onto the edge of the mattress and taking her hand in both of his. 'I'm here, Caro. I'm right here.'

His eyes caught the floor, and he reached down to pick up Bowie's drawing, which had fluttered off the nightstand. He smoothed out the crumpled paper and placed it back where she could see it.

'Bowie made this for you,' he murmured, his voice thick. 'She put extra suns on it, she didn't want you to be in the dark.'

Caroline's eyes drifted to the bright, lopsided yellow circles, and for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, a tiny, fragile smile touched her lips. But as her gaze moved back to Noel, the reality of his own exhaustion, the hollows under his eyes, the tension in his jaw, seemed to register.

'Are you a bit ok? How was dinner? How are the kids? How are they taking it?' the concerned look in her eyes threw him

Noel felt the weight of her questions like a physical blow. He looked down at their joined hands, unable to meet her gaze for a split second. He wanted to give her the version of the story she deserved, the one where the kids were fine, the dinner was lovely, and he was the invincible rockstar who had everything under control.

But the silence of the suite and the memory of Sonny's dead-eyed stare at the restaurant foyer made the lie stick in his throat.

'Dinner was...it was a bit of a nightmare, if I'm honest,' he admitted, his voice dropping to a rough whisper. He squeezed her hand, his thumb tracing the bone of her wrist. 'The paps were everywhere. They've got cameras at the front door, shouting all sorts of rubbish about Rob and...and about you.'

Caroline's breath hitched, and she looked away, her eyes filling with a fresh wave of shame. 'I should never have agreed to come here, I'm so sorry, Noel..I'm so sorry..'

'It's not your fault,' he snapped, though the edge was directed at the world outside, not her. 'But Sonny...he found a clip on TikTok. He's shut down, Caro. He's gone into that mode where he's angry at me and just stops talking. And Bowie's just too young for this shit, but she's smart enough to know I'm lying when I say everything's fine.'

He leaned his forehead against their joined hands, the 'frontman' mask finally cracking completely. The silence of the room felt like it was pressing in on him, stripping away the ego and the stage lights until there was nothing left but the raw, jagged truth.

'I don't know how I'm going to do this,' he confessed, the words sounding small and desperate. 'I've got a tour starting, stadiums booked across the globe, and I'm sitting here wondering how I'm supposed to be on stage when my family is falling apart in a hotel room. And trying to look after you while you're in this state.'

He let out a dry, hollow laugh that didn't reach his eyes. 'Sara was right, you know? She never wanted them on tour because she knew I couldn't be a dad and a husband and a frontman at the same time. Not like this. Not when everything is on fire.'

The words hit Caroline harder than she cared to admit. It wasn't just the mention of Sara being right, it was the realization that she had become another 'problem' for him to solve, another weight on his shoulders alongside the kids and the global machine of the tour. She saw herself reflected in his exhaustion, not as his partner, but as a liability he was desperately trying to manage.

The shame burned deeper than the withdrawal ever could, a cold realization settling in her chest that hurt more than the physical tremors. She looked at Bowie's drawing, and for a heartbeat, those bright, lopsided suns didn't feel like warmth. She wasn't just his partner anymore; she was a complication, a crisis he had to manage between soundchecks and hotel corridors.

'Noel,' she whispered, her voice trembling as the true cost of her choices hit her. 'I'm turning your life into a disaster, aren't I? I'm just another thing you have to fix.'

At those words, Noel finally shifted. He didn't pull away; instead, he pressed his forehead harder against her hand for a second before looking up. His eyes filled with a raw, protective ferocity.

'Don't,' he rasped, his voice low and jagged. 'I didn't mean it like that..I'm just very worried about you.'

Caroline reached out her other hand, weakly running her fingers through his hair, her voice gaining a fraction of strength. 'Just let me do my job, Noel. Tomorrow when I'm back on my feet.. let me take the kids. The tour, the schedules, I'll take care of them for you. It'll give me something to focus on, something to keep my mind from wandering back..into the dark. You focus on the shows. Focus on what you're here for and I'll take care of everything else.'

Noel looked at her, his heart torn between the fear of her doing too much too soon and the desperate, beautiful hope that she was actually coming back to him.

'I can't ask that of you, Caro,' Noel murmured, though his grip on her hand betrayed how much he wanted to believe it. 'The doc says you need weeks, not hours. You're supposed to be resting, not chasing Sonny through airports.'

'Resting is what gets me into trouble,' she countered, her voice gaining a desperate, feverish edge. 'Let me be the buffer between you and the paps. Let me handle the hotel check-ins and the transport and the soundchecks and the kids. You just be the Chief. You do the two hours on stage that keep this whole ship afloat, a lot of people paid a lot of money to see an amazing show.'

Noel looked at her for a long time, his heart hammering against his ribs. He could see the desperation in her eyes, it wasn't just a request; it was a plea for her own sanity. She needed to be more than a victim.

'Alright,' he whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead. 'If that's what you want, we'll try it. We'll do it your way. But you have to promise me, the second you feel like you're slipping, you tell me. No heroics.'

Caroline nodded, a small, fragile breath of relief escaping her.

'Now, go back to sleep,' Noel urged, his voice softening. 'You need every minute of rest if we're going to make this work. I'll let the medic back in and if you need me, I'm at Liam's.'

He waited until her breathing leveled out and she drifted back into a deeper, more peaceful sleep, before he got up and walked back to Liam's room.

Liam was still there, leaning against the railing as the Edinburgh skyline twinkled like a sea of fallen stars. He glanced over as Noel slid the glass door shut. Noel reached for Liam's pack, took a cigarette, and lit it with a hand that wasn't quite steady. They stood in the breezy night air for a moment, the smoke curling slowly into the dark.

'How is she?' Liam asked, his voice low. 'Did she drift off again?'

Noel nodded, staring at the glowing tip of his cigarette. 'Just now yes, but we talked and she's got a plan.'

Liam snorted. 'Plans usually aren't my vibe, but let's hear it.'

'She's taking over, Liam,' Noel said, exhaling a long cloud of smoke. 'The tour, the logistics, the kids..all of it. She says she wants me to just focus on the shows.'

Liam froze mid-motion, his lighter halfway to his next cigarette. He stared at Noel like he'd just grown a second head. 'What? Have you lost your fucking mind?'

Noel didn't look up. 'She says she needs it, Liam. She says she'll drown in her own head if she's just sitting there..'

'Noel, the girl couldn't even hold a glass of water an hour ago!' Liam's voice was thick with pure shock, his usual swagger replaced by genuine alarm. 'You're letting her take the kids on the road while she's still coming off that shit? That's mental, even for you.'

Noel leaned his elbows on the railing, the wind playing with his hair. 'I'm gambling on her being the only one who can talk to them right now. Sonny won't even look at me, Donovan has about enough of me too. If she wants to be the bridge, I have to let her try.'

Liam let out a sharp, cynical exhale but didn't argue further. He knew that look on Noel's face, the one where the "Chief" had made a call and the rest of the world just had to fall in line.

The next morning Noel pushed the door open with a hesitant softness, his heart still echoing with the frantic rhythm of the night before. He had expected to find a darkened room and a woman still clinging to the blankets, but instead, the suite was filled with the yellow, sharp Edinburgh morning light.

Caroline was standing at the mahogany vanity, already showered and dressed. She looked like a vision of cool, sharp defiance, exactly the version of her that the world knew. She was wearing high-waisted black trousers and a vintage velvet waistcoat over a sheer, ruffled blouse. She was mid-motion, tilting her head to the side as she struggled to fasten a heavy silver hoop into her ear.

Noel stopped dead in the center of the room. Seeing her like this, climbing back into her armour, reclaiming the "cool" that was so uniquely hers, hit him like a physical blow. He felt that sudden, violent rush of falling in love with her all over again, a feeling so intense it made his hands feel heavy at his sides.

He wanted to cross the floor in three strides, wrap his arms around her and kiss the hell out of her.

But he didn't move.

Caroline's eyes met his in the reflection of the glass. Her breath hitched. She saw the raw adoration in his gaze, and she felt a matching, desperate pull in her own abdomen. She wanted him to bridge the gap. She wanted to feel his rough hands grounding her, proving she was still his. But she stayed perfectly still, her fingers hovering awkwardly at her earlobe.

'Fucking hell, Caro,' Noel finally whispered, his voice a low, gravelly rasp of pure worship. He took one tentative, uncertain step closer, but stopped just short of touching her. 'You look... you look like a miracle.'

A small, fragile smile ghosted her lips, though she didn't turn around. 'I look like I have a very expensive concealer, Noel.'

'Oh ok, well I was going to kiss you but I..I didn't want to mess up the hair and the make-up' he countered, his hand twitching at his side as he fought the urge to reach out.

It was a clumsy excuse, and they both knew it. Caroline let out a tiny, shaky laugh that was half-relief and half-longing. 'I was going to ask you to, but I was afraid I'd fall over if I let go of the dresser.'

They stood there for a long, charged moment, two people desperately in love, caught in the strange, tender limbo between the nightmare of the night before and the chaos of the day ahead.

The transition from the quiet of the suite to the private dining alcove felt like stepping into a different climate. Noel had arranged for a secluded corner of the hotel's restaurant, shielded by heavy velvet curtains and a 'Reserved' sign that kept the prying eyes of the morning tourists at bay.

The air here was thick with the smell of coffee and bacon. Liam was already there, picking apart a croissant with surgical precision.

When Caroline walked in, shoulders back, silver hoops catching the light, the atmosphere shifted instantly.

'Caro!' Donovan was the first to react, scrambling out of his chair with a mix of surprise and genuine relief. Sonny followed a second later, more reserved but genuinely happy to see her.

But it was little Bowie, Noel's youngest, who broke the tension. She didn't wait for permission; she simply ran across the plush carpet and threw her arms around Caroline's legs, her small hands clutching at the sharp crease of the black trousers.

'Carolineeee...I missed you so much, did you see my drawing?' Bowie whispered against her, overjoyed to see her.

Caroline's breath hitched as she looked down at the top of Bowie's head, the girl's small hands clutching her trousers as if she were an anchor in a storm.

Caroline's breath hitched as she looked down at Bowie's head, her fingers sinking into the girl's hair. 'I did see it, B. It's brilliant,' she whispered. 'I missed you too. So much.'

The words were like a starting pistol. The heavy, awkward tension of the last few days snapped as Donovan and Sonny scrambled up, and collided with her in a chaotic mess of lanky limbs and relieved laughter, pulling her into a tight, swaying huddle.

'About time you showed up, Caro!' Donovan grinned, his voice echoing in the quiet alcove. 'We all missed you so much.'

'Alright, alright, you lot,' Caroline laughed, her voice finally sounding like herself again as she was playfully dragged toward the table. 'Let's eat, I'm kinda hungry'.

As they sat, the kids began talking all at once, leaning in to tell her about every minor adventure they'd encountered while she'd been gone. Despite the noise, Caroline noticed Sonny stayed glued to her side, as if to ensure she wouldn't vanish again.

She reached out, squeezing Sonny's hand under the table, and looked up to find Noel watching her. He leaned back, his tea long forgotten, the "Chief" persona completely dissolved. His eyes shone with a raw gratitude as he watched his children surge back to life around her, yet beneath the relief, a sharp, quiet ache of envy tightened in his chest, a longing to be the one holding her, to feel that same closeness with her again, the kids so easily claimed.