Part 11

'Noel! You picked up, ok..is Caro there with you? she's not picking up her phone and it's kinda urgent' Rob's worried voice danced in his ear, why did he have to pick up? He never answered uknown numbers, so why now? 'Uhhh, no, no she's not' he stuttered, what was he to say? That he fired her and kicked her out? And that he had been an ass for doing so? And that he had regretted it the minute he had yelled at her and his stupid pride got in the way to go after here immediately? , '..ok, where is she then?' Rob put him on the spot 'oh got a customer waiting, just a moment' the café was clearly very busy 'listen just tell her to call me if you see her, I know she probably won't because we had a bit of a quarrel earlier on, and the day after tomorrow is the funeral of her Dad and I'm not even sure if she will go..but I don't want her to be or feel alone and I know that she is and she hides it well but she is not ok, Noel..she only pretends she is but in reality she isn't, ..anyway, gotta go! Later' Rob disconnected the call.

He needed some air, he needed to clear his head, maybe a stiff drink would help him with that too, he zipped up his jacket and rolled the scarf around his neck a few times so half of his face was hidden behind it to guarantee him some time to walk around the city a little bit more incognito.

But peace of mind didn't come, no matter how far he walked, why had he reacted so harshly towards her? When was the point that she had made his blood boil? Was it the moment she had said that she wanted to try and settle the feud with Liam? Was it that she went without him and without his consent?

He pushed his cold hands deep in the pockets of his jacket, it was too cold to be walking around actually and he had his voice to think of for the new recordings in the studio, but he couldn't care less, deep down he knew what was haunting him, he had pushed her away because of the feelings that he had for her were becoming too intense.

Lately the first thing he thought about in the morning was checking up on her, and the last thing he thought about before he went to sleep was her as well where she strutted through his dreams all night. Why did he keep asking himself all these questions?, because they were all leading to one answer and that was that he was getting scared of her taking his heart by storm and getting way too close for comfort.

So what else was he to do than to push her away? it was all because he desperately tried to save his crumbling marriage with Sara..but why? When he could see and tell that his wife was only running away quicker from him with every step he took to get closer again with her?

Was he scared to lose Sara?...he had thought long and hard about it but he only came to one conclusion and that was that he was more scared of losing his children, not so much Sara if he was being honest, even though he did love her, he loved her deeply, but she was the one doing the running away all the time, to Ibiza, her friends and the big parties seemed more important than him lately..thank god, he still had his kids, his boys were everything to him..just thinking about them not coming home from school every day or even their silly, daily banter was something he just couldn't go without.

He had fires burning everywhere he looked these days, and he wondered if he had lit the match to every single one of them? He knew the answer to that question well enough, he just wasn't ready yet to admit it to himself.

For fuck's sakes Caro, if only you were here to brush away the doubt and put me back in my place..what have I done? He grabbed his phone and called his mother.

Every time she had been travelling and came back home again, no matter the type of transport, her heart started doing little summersaults in her chest, she had been in love with this old city and all its' noise and all its' hussle and bussle, ever since she was young.

People had disappointed her so many times in her life, but never London! Despite being well travelled, no other place made her feel like she was part of the hum and drum, or even part of the daily life there, but she had always felt like she was a part of London's heartbeat..until now..she looked at its' iconic landmarks passing by as the train slowly made its' way to the station but for the very first time ever, she felt nothing, numb was all she felt..gone was the rush of adrenalin to the system, gone was the instant happiness or the longing for her own bed or being in desperate need of a coffee from that small place at the corner of her street, everything looked dull and uninspired right now.

Why? Because her life as she had known it before, no longer existed, she was no longer needed nor wanted by Noel, her career down the drain because of one silly mistake when all she had wanted was for the brothers to stop this ridiculous fight and get them to maybe consider an Oasis reunion, she had lost count of how many times she had suggested to Noel that music was the one thing that could reunite them, but it was clear that she had crossed the point of no return now and unwillingly had fed the flame for it to burn out of complete control between the two brothers.

She quickly wiped a frustrated tear away and checked her reflection in the mirror before she put on her coat and took her suitcase and got off the train and stepped into the coldness of a London evening.

'Thanks Mum! I'll be back in a couple of days to come and get her, I'll give her a call this evening when I'm back in London' he sighed and said his goodbyes, Bowie was in good hands so that was one worry less.

He pushed his suitcase in the back of the car and drove off into the cold night direction London, he needed to sort things out between them...and more importantly he needed to see her, for now that was all that mattered, he would think of what to say to make it right when he got there.

'Thank you, have a good evening' she put her card back in her purse and got out of the cab, home not so sweet home, dragging her suitcase behind her she bounced up the stairs, right ok, first shower and then bed, sleep this godawful day and week away and stay inside with the curtains closed for the rest of time no matter how long that may be.

Her tears mingled with the hot water, thank god for this apartment where she could hide away, it was the only place where she allowed herself to show her emotions, she had never allowed herself to show them anywhere else, after all she had no real life outside of her professional life, she didn't want to step from behind that professional mask she put on every morning anyway.

How was she even gonna cope in the real world without that mask to hide behind? what would he be doing now? Why did he even ask her to go to Manchester with him in the first place? Sure he told her that she needed a bit of a breather with everything that was happening in her life..had her dismissal been really spontaneous? Oh stop it, don't drive yourself mad, things are crazy enough as it is.

She turned off the taps and wrapped herself in the plushiest robe she owned before she looked at herself in the mirror, she felt and looked like a wreck, this was gonna take a whole lot of tlc and even more moisturizing creams to sort this out..didn't matter, not interested, not now, she rubbed her hair dry and brushing it gently she walked over to her bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her, hoping to black out this this horrible and cruel world behind her.

'Are you sure she got on a train to London?' Rob had been calling him all through the evening, and it was really starting to get on his nerves, 'for the hundredth time, I'm pretty sure, Rob' he sighed as he pushed down on the gas, this last piece of motorway before driving into London again just took too bloody long.

'I waited hours for her at the station, I tried calling her several times but straight to voicemail and she is not at home either, everything is dark up there and she is not answering the door..why did she suddenly decide to come back to London anyway? Do you know?' there it was, the million dollar question that he had been able to stay away from all evening,

Noel took a deep breath and mumbled through gritted teeth 'alright alright, yes, yes I do know why she's gone back to London, I fired her..' hearing himself say those last words had him on the brink of nausea.

For the first time today, Rob fell silent and it took a while before he could actually hear him gasp in shock 'you didn't..what on earth for? That woman is as hardworking and honest as they come'.

Noel's fingers dug down into the steering wheel, 'I'm sorry, but that is none of your business, she was meddling in things she should have stayed out of, especially if it concerns my private life, that's all I'll say about that' he sounded angrier than he was, he realized now that he had made a gigantic mistake and that was what he was on the road for, to try and fix things between them, she needed to stay in his life, and out of Rob's life, goddammit, that guy was crushing hard on her and it made him sick to his stomach.

'Anyway, listen Rob, I'm sure she's alright, it's really late' he checked on his dashboard and saw that it was way past midnight, 'so don't worry, I'll go check on her tomorrow, ok? Keep you posted, goodnight' he disconnected the call and focused on the road while his thoughts kept on spinning in his head, where was she? What if something had happened to her like Rob had suggested?..he would never forgive himself for that.

Caro just lay there on her bed in the total darkness, alone with a million of thoughts and conversations running around her head, slowly her hand reached for her phone just to check the time, forgotten that she had switched it off.

A deep groan left her mouth when the device sung it's way back to life and she saw all the missed calls and texts , not now, not ever, can everybody just leave me the fuck alone? She switched it back off and let the device fall on her chest, she had seen Rob's name attached to practically every missed call, Noel's was nowhere to be seen, so it was no cruel joke or the worst dream, she was absolutely certain now, he hated her and that reality was the hardest thing for her to live with.

'Hi Daddy..' the sleep drunk voice of his youngest son drifted down to him while he kicked off his shoes and took off his jacket, 'Sonny, why are you still up? It's really late' he quickly ran up the stairs where his boy was waiting for him and picked him up in his arms.

'I can't sleep, I was waiting for you to come home, Mummy told me you went to see Grandma! I miss Grandma, how is she?' the child snuggled a little closer to him wrapping his arms round his father's neck. 'Grandma is fine, we'll go and visit her soon, alright? But first you need to get some sleep' he carried him back to his bedroom and put him down on the huge mattress and started tucking him in, 'goodnight Sonnyboy, I love you' he pushed a kiss on the boy's forehead, 'I love you too, Daddy' his boy smiled while already drifting off towards another dream.

Slowly he walked back to the door and while gently pulling it shut, a pair of wandering hands caressing his back startled him 'hello hubby..' his wife seductively whispered in his ear, 'welcome home..isn't it time you and I ended the war and started making love again? Hmm? I'm sick of all the fighting' her warm breath dancing against his ear gave him shivers and he couldn't resist any longer when her hand snuck to the front of his body, caressing his stomach before it slowly started making it's way down to unbuckle his belt.