5 - I Think You Know What I Mean

Lauren and Camila had pretty much seen each other every day for the past few months. They went running, swimming. They had drinks, deep talks. Deeper than Lauren liked to admit in her reports. Lauren taught Camila how to cook. Camila taught Lauren random facts about the world. Her world. But all of that had changed after the 'situation' in the swimming pool that one day, and Lauren hated it.

"Aren't you seeing Camila today?" Zayn wondered, sounding genuinely interested. "She's a big asset to the plan, you know. We kinda need you to stay in contact with her."

"I know.." Lauren sighed.

"Why won't you tell me what happened last week?"  "It doesn't really matter." Lauren said.

"It does if you don't speak to her anymore." Lauren frowned, looking up from her bowl of cereal. "Whatever. I'll- I'll go talk to her later, Zayn."

"Fine." Zayn said, taking his mug filled with tea and walking towards the hallway.

"Wait, don't you have plans with Armando today?" Lauren asked him.

He turned around and nodded. "We're doing a deal tonight. A smaller one."

A sigh escaped the green eyed girl's lips. "Again? When will he finally trust you enough so we can make that big deal happen?" Zayn smiled. "You just want this to be over huh?" "Kinda." Lauren shrugged.

"Well then, re-friend Cabello. It'll probably go a lot faster if she's not on his mind."

"Fine."

———

Lauren took a couple of deep breaths before finally finding the courage to ring the doorbell of her neighbour's house. It had been exactly a week since she'd seen Camila and Zayn was right, it would be good for the operation to see the young woman again so that Armando wouldn't be distracted.

The door opened slowly, revealing a tired looking Camila. Her brown hair looked a little wilder than usual and there were creases around her eyes that Lauren hadn't seen before.

"Hey." She said, her voice soft. "I brought muffins."

A smile appeared on Camila's face and she pulled her into a strong hug. "I missed you." She mumbled into her ear while she hauled her into the house.

"I missed you too." Lauren replied. Much to her dislike, she wasn't lying.

"Come in." Camila said then, taking Lauren's hand and pulling her towards the living-room. Lauren ignored the electric pulses running through her limbs, or tried at least, by biting down on her lip. She shook her head and looked down at the ground while Camila, who seemed to oblivious to her struggle smiled and asked her; "What kind of muffins did you make?" "Blueberry muffins. I hope they turned out okay."

"Let's have some tea and try them out."

Lauren nodded and put them onto the table. "Isn't Armando home?" She asked.

Camila shook her head.

"God, this man works so much. Does he really sell that many cars?" Lauren wondered out loud, making Camila look at her curiously. "I- I guess so." She shrugged before turning around grabbing some mugs.

A few minutes later the two women were sitting at the table, a mug of tea in between their hands. "You need to teach me how to bake those." Camila said, pointing at the empty, plastic box that had been full just minutes prior.

"I will." Lauren smiled. "It's really not that hard."

"Did you know that blueberries are one of the few foods that are actually 'naturally' blue?" Camila beamed. A small piece of muffin was still sitting on her lips and Lauren smiled, her arm reaching forward semi-automatically. "Oh is that so?" She said, brushing it off her lip with her thumb. They had a moment of eye-contact and there suddenly was a lot more tension than Lauren preferred. "Nerd." She said quickly, retreating her arm and noticing how Camila's eyes skimmed down to her lips for a mere second before she looked away.

Silence filled the room then and Camila cleared her throat after some time. "Hey.. ehm.." She said. "Should we.. talk about-" "Please.. don't-" Lauren said, interrupting her.

Camila's poor eyes started to water and she nodded, probably feeling rejected. "Okay. Alright." She smiled. Lauren could see it was a fake smile. She smiled back nevertheless.

———

Three days passed. Three days and both Lauren and Camila acted as if there was no tension at all. Lauren ignored every good feeling she got whenever Camila would grab her hand, and the brunette seemed to do the same.

The two women had exchanged phone numbers after a few days of meeting one another, but they'd never really used it. Until that particular night.

Camila 02:10am: Lo, I really wanna talk, can I come over?

Lauren 02:12am: Yes.

Lauren crawled out of her bed, figuring it would be fine not to wake her fake boyfriend, since the guy could use some sleep after the stressful days he spent with Armando and his comrades. She liked how Camila had called her 'Lo' and smiled. Her smile disappeared however when realising something must be going on with the girl for her to text her like that, or at all.

"Hey." Lauren said as she opened up the door. She could only see Camila's silhouette, but immediately knew something was wrong, she could hear her crying. "Hey, what's wrong?" She asked pulling the girl into a hug, taking in the intoxicating scent that she had dreamed of many times. She closed the door. "Camz, talk to me, what's going on?" "A-A-Armando.." She stuttered, sounding out of breath as she spoke. Lauren guided her towards the living-room, so she wouldn't wake up her fake boyfriend.

"Whats wrong? Did he get hurt during work?" "N-no.."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No." Camila replied. "W-well n-not really."

Lauren sat the young woman down on the couch before, turning on some dim lights, pouring her a glass of water and handing it over to her. Camila took a few sips before putting it down on the table.

"What is it then?" Lauren asked the brunette while she sat down next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. She noticed that Camila did have a new bruise on her arm though, and wondered immediately if Armando had caused them. Oh how she hated the man.

"H-he wants us to move a-away from here." "What!?" Lauren hissed, a little louder than she'd intended. "Why? Where does he wanna move to?" "Cuba." Lauren remained quiet as she shook her head and took a deep breath. "Holy shit.." She said. "N-no.. you guys can't go away.." She told Camila, who just bursted out into tears again.

Armando and Camila moving away would mean two things.

One: they wouldn't be able to catch Armando Perez for his crimes if he'd be in another country. Which meant the operation would be over.

Two: Lauren wouldn't be able to see Camila anymore. Lauren was dedicated to her job. Really dedicated. But she was also kind of addicted to Camila. She knew it was a horrible, toxic thing to have to admit, but it was true. She didn't want to lose her. As a friend, of course.

"Why?" Lauren asked. Close to tears herself as well. "Why does he want to leave?" Camila shrugged. "He says it's not safe here.."

"Not safe? For who?" Lauren asked, playing a little dumb.

"For him. For me.. I- I don't know. He says that there are people trying to go after him." "What kind of people?" "I- I don't know.. I really don't know Lauren.."

Both women remained quiet. Lauren held Camila as she cried and eventually the brunette laid her head on the other woman's shoulder. "I really like your hair." Camila said after some time. "And it smells so n-nice."

Lauren smiled as she stared through the window, her gaze resting at the other house. "Thank you." She said.

"Did you know that the-the average person has over 100.000 s-strands of hair?"

Lauren let out a chuckle and shook her head. "Did you know that you're cute?" The words had left her mouth a little quicker than she expected. She hadn't been able to hold them in. Camila didn't say anything. She lifted her head up from Lauren's shoulder though, and placed the softest kiss on the green eyed woman's cheek.

Lauren closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "When does he want to leave?" She asks after her heart-rate had slowed down once more and her cheeks had cooled off.

"Tuesday. Next week."

It kinda felt like a stab, even though Lauren didn't know what it felt like to be stabbed. She did know what it felt like to be shot though, and she figured it would be similar. "Please don't.." She said then, sitting up straight and turning to Camila. "Please don't go." "I- I have to.. if he's going, I'm going.. Lauren I have to. He's my husband." Lauren sighed deeply, shaking her head. Camila had left about ten minutes later, after Lauren had convinced her it would be better to try and sleep a little. Right after the girl had left, Lauren grabbed her phone and called Tom.

"What do you mean they're moving?!" Tom exclaimed, the sleep in his voice long gone, now that he had heard the news. "To fucking Cuba? We can't catch them in Cuba!"

It did hurt Lauren the way he said 'them' since she knew he would want to catch Camila as well, even though she still wasn't sure if the girl even knew about the drugs. She hoped to convince the Police Department that she was innocent, even though she couldn't prove it yet.

"I know." She sighed. She was sitting at the diningroom-table with a glass of red wine. It was past 3am and her sleep was long gone. She had woken up Zayn and he was sitting on the other side of the table, looking sleepy and stressed at the same time.

"We have to do something." Tom said. He was on speaker, together with Jesy and Carter. "We- wait!" He shouted all of the sudden. "What if we can convince them to stay. Zayn, what if you can push the deal through, tell them the buyer is only in Miami for a day or so. This weekend maybe? We could catch them!"

"This weekend?" Zayn replied, agitated. "Are you being serious? I've been trying to get him on this deal for over a month. He won't just agree to do it this weekend." "Well.. It's our last chance." Jesy said, sounding more exhausted than ever. "You have to try at least, Zayn. It's our last fucking chance."

"And what if it doesn't work?" Zayn sighed. "I- I might have an idea.." Lauren said quietly. She was staring at the white wall, her eyes filled with tears when she thought of what she was going to say. "I might know something that might work.. but I feel horrible about it."

Zayn furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at her. "What?" He asked, looking curious and confused.

"What is it?!" Tom shouted through the speaker.

"Cam- Camila has a- a crush on me." Lauren said, her voice soft. Zayn's eyes widened. "S-she has a crush on me and I feel like I might be able to convince her to stay."

"What about Armando?" Carter is quick to ask. "He won't leave without her." Zayn said, his eyes still trained on the side of Lauren's face. "He adores that girl."

"So maybe Camila can convince him to stay then?" Jesy asked through the phone, to which

Lauren nodded, feeling numb as she spoke. "She might."

"Okay. Okay folks, this is good." Tom said, oblivious to all of the emotions in play. "So here's the plan. Zayn tries to convince Armando to do the deal this weekend. Try harder than ever. And Lauren.. try to convince Camila to stay in Miami, do whatever it takes."

And with that, the phone-call was ended. Lauren was sat at the table, her hands covering her face. She was on the verge of having a panic attack and the only way she could calm herself down was by controlling her breathing. "Hey.." Zayn said, putting his hand on her back and softly petting it. "Hey, you'll be okay. Just breathe." He said calmly. "Breathe, Lauren."

It took a couple of minutes for Lauren to calm down. She and Zayn sat in silence, in the dimly lit room. "Lauren.. please tell me you don't have feelings for the girl.." Zayn said after some time. Lauren looked up, her eyes teary and face paler than usual. She shook her head before getting up from her seat and going up to her bedroom.

———

"Mando.." Zayn said. "Mate I have good news!" Armando turned around and looked at the British guy. He held a bag of pills in his hands and had apparently, been checking them out. Zayn looked down at the bag of yellow coloured pills and smiled. "Sharing is caring." He smiled. It was close to midnight and they were sat in Armando's black SUV.

The bald man smiled and shook his head. "This is for the client. A tester." He said, pushing the pills into the pocket of his jeans before grabbing a pack of cigarettes and handing one over to Zayn, who took it from him. The men lit their cigarettes. "What's the news, boy?"

"Well, that interested buyer, the big one, you know? He's in Miami for the weekend." Zayn said after taking a couple of drags. It was raining and the windscreen wipers were on, making the silence a little less uncomfortable for Zayn, who continued to talk. "He wants to buy a million." Armando's eyes widened. "A million pills?"

"Do you have that?"

The bald man, wearing his signature white shirt, chuckled. "Si, of course I do, idiota."

Zayn smiled, some smoke coming out of his nose. Another car arrived then. "That's the buyers." Armando said, snatching the small bag of pills he'd been examining out of his pocket and throwing it on Zayn's lap. "Get out and show me what you got."

Zayn frowned. He hadn't been ordered to do stuff like this on his own yet. He stared at the side of Armando's face for some time, to see if he was serious. He eventually stepped out of the black SUV then and walked over to the silver Chevrolet that had been parked near to were they were standing. It was dark outside and absolutely pouring, he was soaked to the bone in no time.

"Hey." He said as he'd approached the car, a pair of sunglasses on his nose. They were on a deserted parking lot somewhere underneath a highway. "Paul?"

The man in the car nodded before getting out. He was wearing an expensive looking suit and Zayn could already imagine Armando rolling his eyes. He hated suits. "The money." Zayn said, chewing on a piece of gum as he looked at the man's face.

"I wanna see the pills first."

Zayn shoved the small bag of pills in the man's hand. He noticed then, how his gun stuck out from underneath his shirt and almost instinctively reached for his own before stopping himself. Calm down. Keep your cool.

"Well they look like this, but then 100."

The man smiled, holding the little bag up in front of his eyes. "We trade evenly." He said then, turning around and walking over to the bag of his car. Zayn noticed then, that another man was sat in the car, keeping an eye on him. Zayn nodded and walked over to the SUV, opening the trunk. He grabbed the bigger plastic bag that Armando's mates had filled with pills earlier and walked back to the other car. The man gave him the money after inspecting the bags and disappeared not much later. "Here you go." Zayn said, stepping into the SUV again, pressing several 100 dollar bills in Armando's hands.

"Keep this." Armano said. Giving him about 300 bucks. "Now tell me more about this Italian buyer."

———

"You're already packing?" Lauren asked, her voice soft as she spoke, she didn't mean to startle Camila, who jumped up in fear anyway. "S-sorry, the backdoor was open and I figured I-" "N-no problem." Camila smiled, her hand covering her heart. "Sorry, I'm a bit jumpy." "I know." Lauren smiled. Camila and her had already seen one-another the same day, during a brief morning run. But Lauren hadn't seen Camila out of the house all day. Not that it was her job to be stalking her or anything. Lauren stepped forward and pulled the girl into a short hug, which is how they greeted one another most of the time.

Camila sighed and stepped back before throwing the bikini that she had been holding in her hands, onto the floor. "There's just so much I wanna take. It's never gonna fit in that stu-" "Please don't go." 

Brown met green. Lauren stepped forward and shook her head, taking Camila's hands in hers. "Please don't go, Camz."

It felt weird to ask Camila to stay. But it also felt like something Lauren really wanted. Of course she wanted the operation to succeed. But she also just really wanted Camila to be in safe hands and she knew that wouldn't be the case if she'd stay with Armando. She needed to convince her to stay in Miami. She needed to give her a reason to stay for.

Camila looked into Lauren's eyes for a few seconds, staring deeply into the green irises that she'd gotten quite comfortable with over the last three months. "I don't want to go." She sighed. "But Armando says it's better and-" "Fuck him."

A smile appeared on Camila's face and she let go of Lauren's hands. "I mean, he is my husband.."

A chuckle escaped from Lauren's lips. She looked at how the brunette started to fill her large, pink suitcase up with more items. "Not like that, I meant fuck what he wants. What do you want?" She sat down on the white living-room couch, on a pile of clothing. The brown eyed woman was wearing an orange skirt and a light blouse. Lauren sat down next to her, in her casual jeans and shirt. Her black hair was hanging loosely next to her face, accentuating the light-green in the her eyes. "What do you want, Camila?" Lauren found herself asking, running her fingers through Camila's brown locks. The young woman looked up at her. First into her eyes, but then down at her lips.

She quickly shook her head then. "I don't know." She said, tears forming in her eyes. "I really don't."

Lauren sighed. It felt bad to be the first one to reach out and do something. She wanted it to come from the other girl and so she inched forward and enveloped Camila in a hug. She could feel the other girl sob in her arms and much to her surprise, she felt a tear roll down her own cheek too. They held onto one another for some time before Camila leaned back.

"Did you know that your body will make less tears as you grow older?" She said, a little smile on her face as she looked into Lauren's teary eyes.

Lauren smiled. "Well maybe that's why your whole face is wet and mine isn't." She said as she wiped some tears from Camila's cheeks with both her thumbs.

"Hey!" Camila giggled. "You're only like a year older, dumbass."

Lauren gasped. "You did not just call me a dumbass!" Her fingertips found Camila's side and she poked at it, knowing how ticklish the other woman is.

Camila laughed loudly and Lauren absolutely loved it. She wished she could make the girl laugh like this at all times. She poked her again, this time on the other side and Camila squirmed away, giggling as she went. Lauren laughed too, by just looking at her. The front door opened then.

"I'm home!" A deep voice called out. Lauren could feel her stomach sink. Armando was home. The bald asshole she couldn't stand.

"Oh hi baby!" Camila said, looking slightly disorientated for a second before straightening up her blouse and getting up from the couch. Armando appeared in the living-room and Lauren could immediately tell he had used, at least.. something. His pupils were wide and his movements big. He kissed Camila deeply as he reached her, making Lauren look away in disgust.

"You're packing. Good." He said then, before turning around and making his way to the kitchen, not forgetting to smack his wives ass on the way there. "Yeah.." Camila said. "I figured I'd start."

"Your husband is home." Armando said then, ignoring Camila totally and grabbing a beer from the fridge. Lauren realised then, that he'd spoken to her.

"He's not my-" "Oh yeah sorry." He smiled, opening the beer with his teeth. "Boyfriend. He did a good job tonight, by the way."

Lauren faked a smile. It was a small one. She couldn't bring herself to smile more broadly at the man, especially not after he'd stuck his tongue into Camila's throat a few seconds before. "Ah, nice." She replied.

"Not much of a talker, is she?" Armando asked his wive then, who just kinda shrugged. "You coming upstairs in a bit? I've got some plans." Lauren swore she could see Camila's eyes scream 'no!', but she nodded her head anyway and watched how her husband left and went up to the bedroom. It was silent in the living-room then, and Lauren listened to how the bedroom door slammed shut before she spoke up.

"Camila.." She asked then, feeling out of breath all of the sudden.

Camila's eyes darkened just a little bit as she stared at the other woman. "Mhm?"

"Do you- do you know what Armando and his- his friends, do for a living?"

Camila stood in the middle of the room, giving Lauren a strange look. "What do you mean?" Lauren sighed. She could tell. "I think you know what I mean."

Camila walked over to the couch then, nervously running a hand through her hair before sitting down. "I try not to know too much about it." She said then, her voice softer than before. She was looking down, avoiding Lauren's eyes.

The raven haired undercover-agent sighed deeply and shook my head. This was bad. She knew.

"What do you know?" Lauren found herself asking. She was hoping Camila wouldn't know anything. She was hoping she just thought Armando earned his money with the cars. That wouldn't relate her to the crimes. But Camila was a smart woman. "I know about the drugs, Lauren."

Lauren's good hopes flew right out of the window as her eyes widened. Camila looked up, eyes teary once again. "I- I know that it's bad and that I shouldn't be with someone like- him. But- but Armando was all that I had when my family died. He took me in and helped me. And even now he takes care of me and- and he loves me." 

Another nervous hand shot through Camila's hair as she shook her head, a frantic smile on her face. "I know it's bad that I stay with him for that reason. But he loved me when no one did."

Lauren could feel herself tearing up again. Of course she had known about Camila's parents having passed away on an airplane crash. She'd heard it from Camila herself, and she had read it in her files. But to hear her side of the story, made her strange husband-choice, more understandable.

"Do you love him?" Lauren asked. It was maybe, a harsh question. But she had to know.

Camila looked down again, a quiet cry coming out of her mouth before she shook her head. Lauren did what any good friend would do. She pulled the girl into a tight hug and let her cry on her shoulder for as long as she needed to.

———

"Zayn is into the drug b-business as well, right?" Camila asked. They had been sitting on the couch in silence. Camila's head on Lauren's shoulder.

"Yeah." Lauren replied. "Unfortunately. He can't seem to get out of it." "It's what you moved here for huh?" Lauren thought about what Camila said for a while, before finding herself nodding. She hated lying to the girl, but figured it was the only way to go. She was in deep and she couldn't just jump out now.

"Have you ever used it?" Camila asked, her curious brown eyes staring at the side of Lauren's face. "What?" "Drugs? Anything?" Lauren looked at her, nodding softly. "Yeah. I mean I popped a pill before." She admitted, not even having to lie. "And I smoke a blunt from time to time. You?" Camila chuckled darkly, laying her head back down on Lauren's shoulder. "You're probably not g-gonna expect this but.. I- I tried practically everything."

"After your family passed away?" She asked, tracing her finger's over the palm of Camila's hand.

"Yeah."

Lauren nodded, she did understand it. "And here I was, thinking you were some kind of princess." She said, trying to lighten up the mood.

A chuckle escaped Camila's mouth. "Who says princesses don't get high?"

Lauren found herself smiling at the girls humor again. "You still use?" "I-" Camila sat up. "I don't want you to think I'm some kinda weak person okay?" She asked, looking strictly into Lauren's eyes.

The green eyed woman frowned and shook her head. "Of course not, silly."

"Okay.. so.." Camila swallowed deeply and took a breath before continuing. "I've been to rehab right before we moved here."

"Oh wow." Lauren said. She wondered why hadn't this been in the girl's file. "For how long?"

"3 months." She said. "Nobody really knew. Except for Armando. Not that there's that many people in my life, but yeah. I didn't want anyone to know."

Lauren nodded, still playing with the other woman's hand. "I get it." She said. "Thanks for telling me."

"I trust you." Camila said, smiling at Lauren while she ducked her head down. It felt horrible having to live in a lie like this. Lauren hated it. She trusted Camila too. She did. Camila hadn't been lying about half her life though. What if she found out about her? What would she think of her then? "I- I-" Lauren stuttered, trying to recompose herself while Camila gave her a curious look. "Can I ask you something?" She asked. Camila nodded eagerly. "Of course."

"I really hate it that you might be going away in a few days and- and I would love for you and I to spend a- a day together." She said, looking down at her own hands and fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. "Away from here, you know."

It was silent in the room and Lauren was panicking internally, thinking she should have kept her big mouth shut. She felt how Camila placed a finger underneath her chin then however and lifted her head up a little. "I'd love that." The brunette smiled widely. "I'm free tomorrow."

———