4 - Do You Ever Get Lonely?

FOUR

"Hey that barbecue I told you about last week, it'll be tomorrow."

"Oh, I thought it would be on Sunday."

Armando shrugged, his shoulders hanging slightly as he took a sip of his beer. Him and Zayn had been watching soccer for some time. "A work thing came up."

"A work thing?" Zayn asked, a smile on his face. "On Saturday? Isn't your shop closed on the weekends?"

Armando tore his eyes away from the screen to look at Zayn. He raised his eyebrows. "Why do you care?"

Zayn sipped from his bear, internally building up the courage to bring the subject up. "Armando, mate, be honest with me." He started. "You can't be earning this much money with a car company alone, hmm?" He pointed at the ceiling, indicating the price of the huge house the man lived in.

Armando gave him a suspicious look, his thick eyebrows raised up high. Zayn's heartbeat picked up speed while he looked at the man.

"You're young, boy. You know nothing." Armando muttered then and much to Zayn's relief, his eyes turned back to the screen before he got up from the couch. "Another one?" He called out, snitching Zayn's almost empty bottle from his hand. "Yeah, thanks." He said. He checked his phone to see if Lauren had texted him. She was out for drinks, together with Camila and some other women.

Armando rummaged through the fridge then before Zayn could hear him return to the living-room. A hard object was pressed against his head then. "Listen, boy." Armando said, his voice deep. A clicking sound filled Zayn's ear and he realised right away, he was being held at gun-point. "Whatever you think you know, if you wanna stay on my nice side, you better stay away from the business talk." "Sure." Zayn breathed out. "Just wanted to help, m-man." Armando hummed a barely audible response and pushed the gun back into his jeans, shoving one of the two beers in Zayn's hand.

"Help?" Armando asked, smiling. "You wanted to help me?"

Zayn took a sip from his drink and tried to relax. "Yes." Armando scoffed. "This is not the kind of business you want to be a part of."

———

"Nothing more than that?" Lauren asked, her voice tired. "He gave you no further information?"

"Nope." Zayn replied, sitting behind his laptop and typing his report for the day, which would be a little more exciting than usual. They had gotten further than ever.

"Shit." Lauren cursed, both her elbows on the dining-room table as she held her chin up. "That sucks."

"We're getting closer though. How was your girls night out?"

Lauren scoffed, her head spinning from all of the alcohol she'd been drinking. "Great. We talked about our pets, swimming-pools and lovers."

"Wow." Zayn replied. "Impressive."

"They shit talked Camila while she was at the toilet. That was interesting." Lauren added, frowning. "I really don't get why they hate her, that girl is an angel. Women can be so.. bitchy.. She's so sweet like.. all she really cares about is her dog. And she tries keeping Armando happy and he's- he's old and ugly and yikes, you know? But she's sweet and- and so pretty and she's smart too. I mean I didn't expect that at first, honestly. But she learned how to code and she makes these gorgeous looking websites for people and, oh wait, you should see her Instagram-"

Zayn smiled and shut his laptop. "You probably shouldn't be drinking so much."

Lauren, who had been looking for her phone, laughed loudly. "You probably should shut the fuck up." She said, getting up from her chair and climbing up the stairs as gracefully as she could manage. Zayn chuckled, shaking his head.

"You're gonna be hungover tomorrow!"

———

Zayn had been right. Fuck.

Lauren had never expected to drink this many alcoholic beverages during work-time and on one hand it's nice. Of course it's nice. The hangovers they were just really, really bad.

The bell rang at 10:30 and it was an awful sound to Lauren's ears. "Fuck!" She shouted loudly. Knowing Zayn would probably still be sleeping, the lazy bastard, she dragged herself out of bed and towards the front-door. "C-Camila?" She mumbled, her eyes still half-closed as she'd opened the door. The latina was standing in front of her, holding something up. Was that-

"Your phone, dummy."

Lauren's eyes widened and she almost instinctively went to snatch the device from her hands, but held herself back and smiled instead. "Oh my god, I'd already been looking for it last night. I'm such an idiot."

Camila smiled and nodded. "You kinda are." She said, her look had changed though and she pushed Lauren into the house, suddenly frowning. Lauren immediately wondered what's up. "Is Zayn awake yet?" Camila asked.

Lauren shook her head and stared at the now worried looking woman in front of her.

"Some guy named Tom tried calling you a bunch of times. Look." Camila said softly, holding up Lauren's phone in front of her nose. This time, Lauren couldn't hold herself back and she snatched the device from the brunette's hands.

"Oh, Tom." She said, a smile appearing on her face as she spoke. Shit. "He's an old colleague of mine. Nothing to worry about."

Camila let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god." She giggled. "Okay good. I'm sorry, I just got worried. I know you told me how you and Zayn got here because you had some relationship struggles and I just don't want you guys to split up and.. and leave, you know." She ranted, her eyes wide as she spoke.

Lauren shook her head in a way to comfort the girl. "Y- did you already have breakfast?"

"No." "Well let's make some. If you have time, of course." Camila smiled widely. "Yes!"

The two women made their way over to the kitchen. Camila hadn't been inside Lauren's house before yet and so her wide, brown eyes looked around the living-room, scanning it's interior. "I like what you've done with the place. The old neighbours didn't really.. have any taste. At all."

Lauren chuckled. "Well I like to keep it simple. But It's cosy too, right?" "Yeah." Camila nodded. "I like that." She sounded honest, which Lauren liked.

Lauren opened some drawers and cabinets and started cooking away while Camila sat on a kitchen stool, observing the green eyed woman's every move. Lauren was still wearing the plain, black t-shirt and purple shorts she'd put on last night before going to bed. She knew she probably didn't look like she had done the past three weeks. She hoped Camila wouldn't mind seeing this side of her. The side not being in dresses, heels and make-up all the time. "Hey can I ask you something?" Camila wondered out loud after some time. Lauren had been making banana pancakes. "Sure." She replied.

"Don't you ever get lonely?" Lauren looked up from the pan and at Camila's curious, slightly sad face. "In the house you mean?" "Yeah." She sighed and turned off the gas before shrugging. "Yeah sometimes. I try not to think about it too much." Camila nodded, seemingly understanding her. Her eyes looked honest and a little confused. "Yeah me too. But sometimes my.. my thoughts just overwhelm me, you know. I- I mean I love Armando and he does so much for me. I mean look where I'm living and my life right now, but sometimes I wonder-"

"G-good morning.." Zayn said awkwardly, his hand behind his neck while he looked at the two women. "I feel like I'm interrupting some deep- conversation- I- I'll come back la-" Camila laughed loudly. "No it's fine!" She said. "I'm sorry. I got a little carried away."

Lauren looked at Camila's face, confused by the tone-difference in her voice. "You okay?" She asked Camila, her voice soft. "Yes!" The brown haired woman smiled widely. "Yes, I'm fine." Her voice was pitched just a tiny bit higher than it would normally be. You're lying. Lauren concluded in her head. "I- I'm really sorry. I just remembered that I have to- do something at home." Camila continued while Lauren's eyes kept staring at her. "I- I'll see you later."

And just like that, she'd left the house.

"Great job." Lauren said, slapping Zayn's arm with the spatula in her hand before grabbing the plate filled with pancakes and eating them by herself.

———

"Hey what was that about earlier?" Lauren asked softly as soon as she had pulled Camila to the side, away from all of the others. They were at the barbecue Armando had organised for him and his friends. This time, there only Armando's drug-colleagues seemed to be around, no others. And so Camila and Lauren were on their own, since Armando had pretty much pushed Camila away, saying that the 'men' wanted to talk.

"What?" Camila asked, playing dumb. Her dog was sitting on the ground, near her feet, as pretty much always. She wore high heels, red ones and a really striking black dress. One that Lauren hadn't been able to keep her eyes off all night.

"You know, the whole 'sometimes my thoughts just overwhelm me' speech?" Lauren smiled, trying to keep it light. She was holding a glass of red wine and was trying to take it slow with the drinking tonight. She'd already seen Camila have three Mojito's though.

The brunette sighs, nodding her head. "Not here." She whispered before pulling Lauren around the corner. They stand on the other side of the house then, away from the pool-area.

"So?" Lauren asked, her back leaning against the house as she looks into Camila's tipsy eyes.

"So look.." Camila sighs, turning away from her and starting to pace around. "I know I'm living a great life right now.. but- but sometimes it's just.. I just feel like some kind of doll, you know?" Lauren nodded for her to continue while she glanced at the nervous looking girl, who was now pacing around on the grass.

"I wasn't always this kind of- barbie doll, figure. I used to- have fun. Real fun, you know. Do things and be- well.. be myself and all of that." "So what changed?" Lauren asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

Camila stood still then, staring at Lauren. "Honestly.." She smiled. "I got married. I fell for a guy that-" She looked down at her feet and shook her head. "A really nice guy.. that I'm no-" "Hey, here you are, ladies! Cómo estás?" Panchito, one of Armando's 'friends' says as he crosses the corner. Lauren let's out an annoyed huff. She'd seen this guy staring at both her and Camila before and while even though he has a wife, he doesn't seem to mind his eyes practically undressing any other breathing woman.

"Hey Panchito." Camila breathed out nervously. "What were you girls doing over here?"

"Oh you know, just chit-chat." Camila said, her hands folded over one another as she probably noticed just as much as Lauren had, that the man was staring at her boobs.

"Girl talk huh?" Panchito smiled. He wore a bandana around his head and a thick, golden chain around his neck. He had a small beard and his hair was brown, turning grey at some spots. An older looking scar, ran down from his forehead, all the way down his cheek. He reached forward, brushing his fingers over Camila's cheek. "Well you girls know you can always come talk to me, huh?" Lauren was just about to smack the man's head into the wall when a loud bang sounded, coming from the other side of the house. "A gunshot!" Lauren breathed out. Camila stepped back, looking frightened. Panchito looked over his shoulder, not acting as surprised as Lauren would have expected him to. He knew. The green eyed woman thought to herself before instinctively taking Camila's hand in hers and dragging her towards the entrance of the villa, passing Panchito forcefully in the process.

Once there, she placed both hands on Camila's cheeks. "Please go inside and stay there?" She asked the woman, who nodded first but looked confused then.

"C-come with me, please?" Camila stammered. "I don't want you to-" "I have to see if Zayn's okay." Lauren said hastily, looking over her shoulder as she hurried away towards the swimming-pool area. She hadn't really expected to see what she saw then. It was Zayn, sitting in a chair with a bleeding lip and a smile on his face. An odd sight. Armando and Samuel, one of his comrades, were standing next to him, together with Panchito, who grinned at her. "I'm sorry for the scare, Miss Green." Armando said, sounding amused. "Your boyfriend and I were just- playing a little game."

Lauren had a moment of eye-contact with Zayn. Who looked more relieved than scared in the moment. She tried understanding the look his eyes, but couldn't really decipher anything. "Right.." She said. "Well your wife is in the house. She's-" "Let me guess. She's scared." Armando said, rolling his eyes as he put his gun back into his jeans, underneath the blue shirt he was wearing. "Let me go and.. cheer her up then." He slurred, smiling widely as he made his way into the villa through the large, glass doors. "Party is over, let me make love to my wife now." He announced before shutting the door with a bang.

Lauren balled her fists, taking a few deep breaths before rushing over to Zayn, who was still sat on this chair, his lip still bleeding. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I'm fine, love."

Lauren pulled him into an exaggerated hug while Samuel and Panchito opened another beer before disappearing to make their way to their own houses, which were right around the corner.

"What was that about!?" Lauren hissed at her fake boyfriend, as soon as they were out of earshot. "I'll tell you at home."

———

"You've been what?!" "Accepted to join the company."

Lauren frowned. "The drug-company?"

Zayn smiled proudly, his swollen lip making it hard to do so. One of his eyes had turned purple by the beating the three men had given him. He looked quite ridiculous. "Yep." "Oh my god, great job!" Lauren smiled happily, holding an icepack on his eye. "So what happened?" "They asked me a bunch of questions first and then suddenly they began to beat the shit out of me. To see if I'd break. Then, when I thought it was over, Armando grabbed his gun and pointed it right at my face. Panchito left to distract you girls then, and Armando told me that if I was a cop, he'd kill me." Lauren's eyes widened.

"So I- told him that I wasn't, of course, and it was silent for a long fucking time. I almost shat my pants, Lauren. Really.." Zayn said, his eyes still filled with adrenaline. "And then he shot the gun into the air and slapped my shoulder a few times, telling me I'm a part of the family now. Can you fucking believe it?"

"Wait." Lauren said. "So what exactly did you tell them? Why would they take you?"

"You don't think I'd make a good gangster?" Zayn joked laughing at his own joke but then whining when feeling the pain in his ribs.

"You're a 23 year old boy." Lauren replied dryly.

"Well.. I might have told them I know a guy, for a deal. A big one."

Lauren looked into his eyes, confused at first. But then smiled widely, showing all of her teeth before hugging Zayn tightly. "Oh my god, brilliant." She said. "You smart motherfucker. Now we can set them up." Zayn chuckled. "Yeah, yeah." He said, pushing Lauren away. "At the right time. They probably want me to do some small stuff first."

"We need the big deal. We need to lock that guy up for good."

"I know." Zayn nodded. "And we will."

———

It was five weeks later. The operation had been going on for almost three months and the reports that Lauren and Zayn were writing, were getting more and more, interesting. Especially the ones from Zayn. Ever since he'd been accepted into the company, Armando had sent him out on small drug deals. So small though however, that the Miami Police Department hadn't settled for it yet. They knew that if this would be all that they could catch Armando Perez for, he wouldn't be behind bars for too long. They needed a big deal to catch the guy. And so Zayn was doing his very best to try and prove his worth to Armando.

Lauren on the other hand, was getting closer and closer to his wife, who seemed happier ever since the new neighbours had arrived. Even Armando had noticed and so he seemed pleased with the situation. Lauren's thoughts were interrupted by a cute giggle. "I swear to you Lauren Green, I've been feeling so much better ever since you and Zayn have come here."

Lauren smiled. She tried to make it seem genuine. But felt a little guilty nevertheless. Of course she knew she was catching USA's biggest XTC dealer, but it did feel wrong to drag Camila into it. And it felt especially wrong to be friends with her. And it had started to feel an awful lot like a real friendship by now. Sometimes she found herself telling Camila stories about her real life and it all felt so genuine. But then, at night, when she had to report all of the information that Camila had given to her, she just felt like a bad person. "That's really good to hear." She said. They were relaxing in the back of the garden, underneath the flowers, both in their own laying-chair.

"No really." Camila said, sitting up and reaching out to grab Lauren's hand. "I'm so happy you're in my life now." Lauren looked up at the brunette, annoyed with herself. Lately, especially these past two weeks she'd been experiencing something more than just 'friendly' feelings towards the woman. Now every time that Camila seemed to touch her, which was a lot, since she's the touchiest person on earth, she get's these annoying yet pleasant electric shocks running through her body. And she's pretty sure Camila felt them too. Lauren had never been a touchy person. But with Camila, that seemed to be different.

She had to stay professional though. It would be foolish not to. And so she would.

"I'm really happy you're in mine too." She said, looking into a set of dark brown eyes that still seemed to keep so many secrets. Camila, a little uncertain this time though, and pushed a strand of hair behind Lauren's ear before laying back in her chair. "Camz?"

"Mhm?" The nickname had come natural to Lauren, and so she'd been using it for some time now.

"You still haven't really told me what you tried to say that one day." "What day?" Camila asked. Lauren knew by now, when the girl was playing dumb or when she was lying. Her voice went up a few octaves and her eyes always widened a little more than usual, even though she'd put her sunglasses on again, so she wasn't able to see those when having turned to onto side, to look at her.

"The day of the gunshot." Lauren said, playing along with the game. She noticed how Camila ran a hand through her long hair. It was something she'd do whenever she got a little nervous. "It doesn't really matter anymore." She replied. "It's fine." Lauren reached out to slide the other woman's sunglasses off her nose slightly. "Are you sure?" She asked, looking into her eyes.

Camila smiled at the gesture before smacking her hand away playfully. She then grabbed the sunglasses and laid them down onto the small table next to the chairs. "I don't know about you, but I'm ready for another game of volleyball. It's 90 degrees, the pool is cool and I'm hot." The brunette said before getting up from her chair and running over to the pool.

Lauren's eyes followed the girl's every move. "You are.." She mumbled underneath her breath. Lowkey disappointed with herself for even thinking that way. Camila wore an amazing looking, white bathing suit, which accentuated her body in just the right ways. She followed the girl, laughing out loud when she jumped into the pool in the most ungraceful manner.

"Don't laugh at me!" Camila said. "I'm not laughing at you!" Lauren called back, she adjusted her black bikini slightly, so it wouldn't come off in the water.

"Come on in!"

"But it's going to be cold.." Lauren wined.

A splash of water had already made it's way onto her warm body before she even noticed and she shrieked. "Hey!" She called out. Another set of splashes, was already on it's way though and she quickly realised she'd be cold anyway and so she jumped into the pool. "Mean!" She called out to Camila, who was swimming towards the other side to fetch the yellow volleyball that had been floating about.

"Hey did you know in real volleyball games, players jump around 300 times, every match?" Camila called out then, right as Lauren was putting her hair into a ponytail.

She smiled. "Nerd!"

"Hey!" Camila said, shooting the ball in her direction. "Be nice!"

It was true. Camila was a bit of a nerd, and Lauren absolutely adored it. She knew so many random facts that she never thought she would care about. How many types of birds we're living in Miami, at what time the sun went down every day, at what age every president of the US got the elected, what music note fit to every mood. Camila knew a lot. Which was why Lauren kept on wondering why she was wasting her time, being with someone like Armando.

She shot the ball back in Camila's direction, keeping it up high so that the girl could blast it back in her direction again. They played volleyball like that for some time, with the both of them being a giggly mess. "Okay, last round!" Camila said. Lauren nodded and shot the ball in her direction quite hard, she wanted to win this.

"Ouch!" Camila called out then, covering her nose with her hands.

"Shit.." Lauren cursed. "I'm so sorry!" The ball had hit Camila straight in her face with all it's force. "Are you okay?" She asked the brunette while wading over to her. The two of them could stand in the pool and both of their shoulders rose above the surface. "Camz, are you okay?" Lauren asked, moving a few wet strands of hair behind the other girl's ears.

"I- I'm okay." Camila said, removing her hands after some time. Lauren took one of her hands in hers, underneath the water. "I'm really sorry.." She said, her voice softer now that she stood so closely to her. "I didn't mean to- to- shoot the ball that- hard.." Camila was staring into her eyes so deeply that it felt like the girl could practically see her thoughts. She stared back into hers, feeling that one of the other woman's hands had been placed on her cheek.

Their foreheads touched. And then their noses did. Lauren could smell the exhilarative scent that came off Camila's skin and one of her hands moved towards the back of her neck, where she played around with her hair a little. Camila had closed her eyes and Lauren could feel her breath tingle on her lips. It would be an easy step to just inch forward and close the distance between them, she knew that. And she knew that Camila was waiting for her to do that. She closed her eyes as well before leaning forward slightly, and placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

"No." Is what she breathed out before letting her go, turning around and climbing out of the pool.

———