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I'm gonna continue this story because I'm fucking proud of it.

T W E N T Y T H R E E

3 days later

A L E X A

"I know you've all heard about what happened to my father. What happened to your leader." I stood on the second story, talking down to everyone on the first story.

"If it weren't for that group my father would still be alive. He wouldn't have had to go out in the woods our main goal is to take them down so everyone better be on the lookout... anyway, things will continue as normal, only I run this show now." As much as I wanted to just sit in my room and lock myself there until I died, I couldn't. I had to be strong for my people. I had I be strong for dad.

"Negans rules will still be in place. Disobey them and the consequences will be a lot harsher. I am not here to let anyone grow weak. My right hand men Carl, Dwight, Simon, Mark and Eugene will help me run this show. You try to stop it and I will shut that shit down no exceptions. You don't have to be afraid of my father anymore. It's me you have to worry about." I warned everyone.

I wasn't myself anymore and everyone could see it.

I was harsh.

I was cold hearted.

"Carl will be with me most of the time and you will treat him like you would treat me. He's family. The alexandrians are family. If I catch any of you slacking or treating me or any of my helpers disrespect, you will get an iron to the face or something a little more extreme."

"Follow the rules and you'll earn your points and maybe even a few extra if I like you. I will be following in my fathers footsteps and I am not going to let him down. If any of you have a problem with that speak up." My eyes scanned over the crowd of people.

After a few moments I spoke again. "Good. I'm your new Negan, no ands if's or but's about it. Like I said, I will not let my dad down and neither will you. Got it?" I held lucille over my shoulder.

"Yes."

"Great. Back to work everyone, we're back in business." I instructed, dismissing everyone.

I hate speaking now. It was torture. I just wanted to be left alone and sit with my dad until the day I die.

But I wouldn't. He wouldn't want that for me.

But I was different. I no longer had the compassion I once had. No more sympathy.

No more humanity.

"Good job, baby." A kiss was planted on my shoulder."Someone's gotta run shit around here. Work needs to be done and work can't happen if we don't have someone running the place." I said, going down the stairs.

"Your burns feeling better?" I asked Carl. "They feel better, still look pretty horrid."

"If they start hurting we have some medicine I already took like 3 this morning." We found out the burns we had were pretty severe, Carl's more than mine. I just had more. Mine were still bad, but Carl's were worse.

"If you need them just tell me. They're pain killers." I added.

"Okay, I will. Thanks babe." He thanked me."Don't mention it." I blew out air, adjusting lucille so she sat right on my shoulder as I walked around.

Everyone was getting busy.

"What are children supposed to do? There isn't a right job for them." A woman tapped me on the shoulder.

"One, do not touch me without my permission and two, take them to the shooting range, show them how to use a knife, teach them how to be stealthy and have some strategy. Let them learn to survive. Weakness will not be tolerated. Not anymore. We can't afford to be weak." I said.

I could see the look in her eyes. She was shocked at my harsh tone.

"No more deaths, no more people need to be hurt. No one deserves that. Everyone here deserves to live a happy life." I softened up a little, but in all reality, I didn't want to.

The woman looked at Carl, seeing if he would back her up."You heard her, go. No kids are dying because you lack in seeing that they're ready." Carl took my side, of course.

"O-okay... kids! Come on!"

I sighed, watching her walk away with the children.

I set lucille against a wall and rubbed my face with my hands, trying to relieve some stress.

"Hey, hey, don't stress, you're right. We can't have any weak." He stepped in front of me.

"I can't- I just can't do this without him, Carl." I doubted myself.

I've run things around here by myself many times, but like I said, I'm not myself anymore.

"I know it's not much but I'm here. I'm here to help you. You are not alone in this and I know you feel like you are. You can do this.... we can do this... remember when we talked about together? That's how it is now. Together. Without Alexandria I'm here with you every step of the way. You are not alone." His hands rested against my upper arms.

I blinked, one tear falling out and nodded. My arms wrapped around his neck tightly, my breathing growing deeper.

His arms hugged me back just as tight."I love you." I breathed out, feeling my heart pound."I love you, too."

"I can't do this without you, Carl. I can't lose you, too." I felt my lip quiver. I just closed my eyes and nuzzled into the hug.

"You won't. I promise."

2:56 am

My eyes stared out of my window, watching the trees sway in the wind.

I couldn't sleep. I tried and I just couldn't.

My mind kept me awake. I kept thinking about my father. I keep replaying the scene in my head over and over again.

I couldn't stop. Just seeing how sick he was and how hurt he was.

My mind thought of evil- horrendous things.

I couldn't fight it and I couldn't stop it.

I heard a light snore and it snapped me out of my terrible thoughts for only a moment.

I glanced down to see Carl, sleeping peacefully, his hair all messed up and in his face.

My body could only feel when I was with him. It felt like a match in the middle of a huge, dark and cold hallway.

A small bit of warmth that would soon die out. It would die out once I looked away.

My fingers gently scraped the hair off of his face. I could see his face a lot better.

My true love.

The only one I had left.

And to think I am going to be so selfish.

"I love you, Carl." I whispered, my eyes not leaving his face, my fingers gliding through his hair.

As I gazed at him, I could feel my tears boil up.

My soft expression quickly changed into a sad one as my fingers continued their rhythm through his messy hair.

"I'm so sorry." My voice was soft an hoarse.

I leaned down, giving him a kiss on his slightly sweaty forehead. A tear managed to escape down my cheek but I sad up to wipe it away before it managed to fall.

I carefully got out of bed, very sure not to wake Carl.

I took dad's jacket off and layed it out on the floor. I layed lucille on top of his jacket and a small smile came to my face as another tear sprung out.

"May we meet again." My fingers traced over the barbed wire on lucille.

I stood up and wiped the tears away from my cheeks.

My hands grabbed my gun that was on my dresser and before I left I looked back at Carl.

"May we meet again."

UM WHAT IS SHE DOING