• 13 •

If you haven't seen the recent episode, ignore this part right here.

I'm so fucking sad. Carl Grimes/chandler Riggs is the loml. He has done so so so much for me ever since I was like 9. I'm like actually so depressed smh. He's given me so much, such as my career on this app. I can't be more thankful to have that boy in my life.

Rest In Peace, Carl Grimes. 12.10.17 ):

OKAY CONTINUE

T H I R T E E N

3 days later

A L E X A

Blurriness. That's all I saw when my eyelids lifted away from my eyes. My weak hands lifted and rubbed my eyes, trying to get them to adjust faster.

The first thing I saw was a ceiling. I knew by that ceiling I wasn't in my sanctuary.

I turned my head to the left, seeing a cane rested against my bed. I looked down at my leg to see dried blood and stitches. Someone fixed my leg.

I slowly sat up, careful enough to not hurt my leg. I hissed, feeling my head pound. I let out a heavy breath, grabbing the cane and trying to stand up.

What I didn't realize was I couldn't just stand on my left leg. This caused me to yelp and sit back down onto the bed.

I let out a sigh in frustration. I wanted to stand up and go out, but I couldn't. I didn't have to go out of the room to tell where I was. I knew I was in Alexandria.

The question is why and how I got here.

I wanted to go home with my dad, but I also wanted to see Carl.

I knew they were all going to be angry with me, considering I killed some of their people.

I may love Carl and care for Alexandria, but no matter how upset I am with my dad I will always defend him and do anything in my power to keep him alive.

My eyes glanced over at a mirror towards the front of the bed and noticed stitches on my forehead. I had really hit it that hard?

I gripped onto the cane and tried to stand back up, my legs shaking. I took a step with my right leg and I hesitantly took a step with my left.

Apparently, my left leg was way too weak to be walking and it gave out, causing me to fall to the ground. I whined loudly, feeling the sharp pain.

"Damnit." I groaned.

I heard footsteps run towards my room and the door swung open. I snapped my head up, seeing the one and only Carl Grimes.

"How'd you end up down there? Don't get up, dummy. You've got a pretty nasty concussion." He giggled, crouching down to me and lifting me off the ground.

"How'd I-"

"I found you before negan could. He doesn't know you're here. He's been looking for you." Carl gently placed me back on the bed.

"Wait, so you didn't tell my dad I was safe? That I'm okay?" I questioned."No, he doesn't know that you were shot or that you've got stitches on your head. He came here and we told him we had no idea where you were. We hid you." Carl shook his head.

"What the hell? Why would you do that? He's probably worried sick." My brows furrowed. "Good. Let him be. He tried to kill me-"

"No don't you use me as a revenge object, okay? I'm his daughter, you can't do that." I knew Carl was upset with my father. Hell, they've all been upset with him.

"He didn't listen to you this time. If it wasn't for the king, I would just be brains on the floor and you know it." Carl's happy tone turned into a more stern tone.

"No, he wouldn't have, he was trying to scare rick... he wants me to be happy and he knows how happy I am with you." Though the first part I didn't know if I was speaking truth or not, the second part was true.

"They held you back from saving me." Carl pointed out.

"So you're using me as a warning against my own father? This is kidnapping, you know." I folded my arms."Hush, it's not kidnapping." He chuckled.

"Taking a child hostage without permission... sounds like it to me... but seriously Carl, I have to go back home and let everyone know I'm okay." I said.

"No. You can stay here and fight with us because you know what they're doing is wrong." Something was wrong with him. He seemed off.

"You want me to turn against my family?" I cocked a brow. Carl's eyebrows raised.

"Are you kidding me? We left you alone for months and your dad had to fuck it all up. I'm not going to turn against my dad ever, especially over shit your father did- stupidly- I might add. You're out of your mind." I scoffed.

"Don't blame this on my dad. Negan killed our people. He's hurt so many people, stealing from them and taking their families away... all of that shit that is wrong he has done." His voice raised just a bit.

"And I'm always by his side! I've done just as much as he has, but you don't seem to mind. It was your people that attacked us first, Carl. You did this to yourself. Rick did this. Rick got your friends killed. If it weren't for him Sasha, Abraham, and Glenn would probably still be alive!" I didn't mean for that to slip from my mouth, it just did. I gasped slightly once I realized what words were spoken.

"Don't you bring them up in this, Alexa. Your dad is nothing but bad." "And I'm not? Baby, it's life." My right hand reached out and grabbed his left.

"It shouldn't be that way." Carl mumbled."But it is and we can't change it so either we suck it up or we die." I was being a bit harsh, but he was being harsh back.

"Tell me what's really going on, Carl. I know there's something wrong."

He looked down at my hand that held his and sighed deeply.

"For three months I've waited and waited for the day you came and saw me and you never did. I just had a feeling that you were listening to your dad's orders... he kept you from seeing me and I hated every single second of it. I missed you so much. He kept you from me." He whispered.

"Carl, honey, I kept me from you. I was the one who ordered we never step foot in or near Alexandria again. My dad was pissed that I did that so we had a deal. I agreed. I could've said no but I didn't." I had to make sure Carl knew it was my choice.

"Why would you do that? You know how I get when I'm without you. You know that- that I can't do things on my own that well and you left me-"

"Baby, calm down, it's okay. I'm here, I'm right here." I pulled him down towards me gently.

"You have to understand I did what I did to protect you. It sucked and it hurt me, too, but it kept you guys alive." My hands held his cheeks.

"He was going to kill me anyway." Carl nuzzled into my hands.

"That may be true, but you somehow always cheat death." I giggled. What the fuck ):"I don't want you to go back." Carl admitted.

"I have to, baby. I can't stay here."

"Yes you can." He stood up, looking down at me."No, Carl-"

"Yes you can. You can stay here and- and help us. You can stay here and not go back there. You can stay here and be one of us where the good people are. You can- you can fight with us. You can do the right thing." Carl stumbled over his words as he began to pace back and forth.

"You're asking me to turn on and abandon my people? Turn on and abandon my father?" I raised an eyebrow, not believing he was asking me this again.

"Alexa, it's what you need-""No, Carl, it's what you want." I cut him off quickly.

He looked at me and sighed."You're not going back there." He said.

"What, you think you can just make that decision for me? That because you brought me here without my father knowing that I would just fall into Alexandria like I never even was a savior?" I raised my voice, my brows crunching.

"Yeah, because you know how dangerous they are!" Carl raised his voice right back at me.

"I'm dangerous, Carl!" I don't think he understood."No you're not." He shook his head.

"Everything my dad has ever done, I was right there by his side or I was doing the deed myself. I've trapped people, manipulated them, made them think I was on their side, just like I did with Alexandria. I've tortured and held captive many people. I've killed, Carl. I've killed a lot. You know I'm dangerous and I know that you know. I am a savior, I always will be a savior. You're smart, don't be stupid enough to ever try to make me turn against my dad." My voice was firm, I could tell I was working myself up.

"Like I've said before I will do everything in my power to protect you and your people but if it came down to it, my father is my top priority."

Carl's jaw clenched, his eye filled with anger."You know what? You're right. I don't know why I ever even bother with you." He turned around, walking towards the door.

"Are you seriously mad at me right now? You know I love you but you also know how much I love my dad and my people. You know how important they are to me." I pointed out.

"Am I not important to you? If you had to choose between negan and I?" He shouldn't have even asked that question.

"You are important to me." I didn't even want to answer that question. I just looked at him.

"Not enough." He whispered.

"Jesus, Carl, what the fuck is your problem? You're being incredibly selfish."

"Oh, me selfish? Because I didn't save your life or anything!" He yelled with an angry laugh.

"And I've saved yours! Many times!" I yelled back. Carl was emotionally damaged right now. He didn't know what to think and I could tell.

He just wanted me with him.

"You know what? I'm just gonna go back to my sanctuary where I belong." I chuckled sarcastically. I knew I probably physically couldn't do it, but I was going to try.

"Don't." His tone changed completely. He was all shaky now.

I looked up and noticed a tear falling from his eye.

"Please... just don't go." What kind of mood swings?

"I have to go sometime." I grabbed the cane that has failed to hold me up.

I tried to stand up, my leg trembling. Carl grabbed my waist, supporting me with his weight.

"Not now- please... I-I have these thoughts in my head... what happens if you go back and Negan changes your mind about alexandria, or- or about me." His eye looked right into mine.

"What happens then? What happens when he does change your mind and you let him do it this time. If he made you choose." He sniffled.

"There is nothing he can say to make me change my mind about you. There isn't a way he could make me choose. He'd be too scared. There isn't one god damn thing he could say that would make me feel any different about you. He knows it." I said.

"Because he knows if I was put in a situation to save you or to save myself that you'd be the answer with no question. I'd die for you, Carl. But I just won't let my dad do the same.

What do you think about how she feels about negan and how she feels about Carl? Who do you think is right, Carl or Alexa?