• 10 •

T E N

The next day

[ A L E X A ]

Being in Alexandria was weird. It was even more weird when I was being stared down by everyone as I walked through the gates.

"Rick! I missed ya!" Dad put on his asshole voice. My eyes looked around, not seeing the face I wanted to.

"What do you have for good 'ol me today?!" Dad rubbed his hands together.

"Food. Furniture." Rick glared into my dad's eyes. I just kept alert. I haven't been myself lately. I felt empty.

More empty than I did before. "Dad, if you don't mind, I'm going to walk around." I told him. He just nodded and turned his attention back onto Rick.

As I walked away I felt eyes following me. Especially michonnes. I tried my best to ignore and continued my walk.

I walked along a sidewalk, looking at my feet. I could shake why I was feeling the way I was.

Why I was feeling so... like nothing. I couldn't describe it.

I just wanted everything back to normal.

But if everything was normal, you would never have met Carl.

Maybe it was better off that way. He wouldn't be so hurt. So damaged.

In a world that was normal, Carl would be happy. He would not be in pain. He would have his family back.

I would have my family back.

I would not be a killer.

But all of my thoughts were ripped from my mind when I saw the house I temporarily lived in last month.

I breathed in, climbing up the tree that was next to the house. I struggled a bit and balanced myself on a branch that lead close to Carl's window...

That was a leap of faith I was willing to take. I could see him from where I was and I picked a few acorns off the branch, throwing acorns at the window.

Since the branch was lower, I didn't expect him to see me at first, but when he did, his eye widened. I smiled and tight rope walked to the edge of the branch, preparing myself for this jump.

I took a deep breath in and jumped as high as I could, my hands barely catching onto the window sill. I used all my strength to pull me up, and there Carl was, standing in the room, after he opened the window.

He put his hands out, letting me take hold of them, helping me climb in. Once I got in, I breathed out heavily and Carl pushed me to the wall.

"Never thought I'd see you in this house again." His brows furrowed slightly. I smiled lightly at his presence.

"Surprise." I whispered.

"Surprise." He repeated with a smirk.

"I was hoping you'd come, anyway." His eye scanned my face.

"Of course I did. I missed you." Our faces were so close. I missed his lips on mine. It's all I wanted right now.

"I missed you, too." Carl cradled my cheeks in his hands, leaning forward, connecting our lips.

My hands also held his cheeks, pulling his lips closer to mine, making sure he didn't pull away. I savored every moment of this kiss. Carl's hands reached down to my thighs and effortlessly picked me up, causing me to giggle against his lips.

The kiss unintentionally got heated as he put me onto his dresser, knocking things down, our kisses getting faster.

In the heat of the moment, Carl's hands lifted my shirt up, and I raised my arms, letting him toss it to the floor. I repeated this action to him. We slammed our lips back together like our lives depended on it.

Carl tightly held my waist, my hands running through his beautiful hair.

"I love you so much." Carl spoke against my lips."I love you, Carl grimes." I smiled. He moved his lips down to my neck, kissing around, making me flutter my eyes shut with a smile. He began to suck around, making me bite my lower lip, tilting my neck.

I let out a small sound, wanting more.

My fingertips glided down his torso, feeling every last inch of it. I gripped onto his belt and pulled his lower half closer to mine, our lips smashing together once again. Everything was just going so amazing.

That is until I heard a gunshot. Carl and I both jumped, pulling away. "What the hell was that?" Carl kept his embrace on me.

"I don't know. We should probably go see what it was." I let go of his face. "Yeah, Jesus Christ, someone better not be dead." Carl handed me my shirt. I quickly put it on and we bolted downstairs, then out of the house.

Carl and I ran side by side, trying to find the source.

The running... it reminded me of when Carl and I had just met. When we were running through the woods with a smile on our faces, without a care in the world.

Here we are, enemies that aren't supposed to see each other, running with terrified looks on our faces. Our hands were holding each other's tightly out of fright.

How fast things can change.

How fast the world can turn.

How fast things could go wrong.

My heart was pounding. What if it was my dad. What if dad was dead.

I couldn't even think about it. It made me sick to my stomach.

When we finally arrived to the scene and I ran straight for my dad.

"What the hell was that?" My breathing was heavy."I shot up in the air to get everyone's attention,no one died." Dad simply stated. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh of relief.

"You can't do that. I thought that you got shot." I re opened my eyes."Sweetie, we have all of their guns." Dad chuckled a bit.

"You never know. They might find shit.""And we'll find it. Come on, Alexa, stop doubting us. What's up with you lately?" Dad asked.

I wish I could answer that question. I've been asking myself that for a few weeks.

"I don't-... I don't know." I shook my head.

"Carl, get away from her. What the hell is wrong with you?" Rick snapped. I looked over in that direction, seeing Rick with an angry look on his face.

"Dad, she's not-""I don't care what you think she is. She's dangerous." Rick cut him off.

"Yes she is very much dangerous but she is not a monster." Dad spat at Rick.

"Your daughter got our friends killed." Rick snarled."You and your friends got your friends killed, Rick. You were the one that killed our people, not Alexa." Dad stepped closer to Rick.

"That was on you. Your little buddy, Daryl, got the other one killed. Don't you dare blame my little girl for your silly actions." As dad talked to Rick, I felt hands on my shoulders pull me back.

I peered behind me to see Carl and I just let him hold me. His arms were wrapped around my chest, my hands holding his forearms.

"Your daughter broke my son." Rick fired back. I knew he was right.

"Does he look broken? Look at him, holding her. My daughter saved your son from dying. Rick you are really crossing the line." Dad held up Lucille to Rick.

"I am a reasonable man, Rick, you know that. But I do not appreciate you talking down on my daughter."

"We have to stop this." I mumbled to Carl.

"It's no use. It won't stop anything from happening." I knew Carl was speaking the truth. But one of them would end up dead and I know it wouldn't be my dad.

"That is something I do not tolerate. My daughter is my world."

I wiggled out of Carl's grasp, pushing in between the grown men.

"Stop. Just stop. You did something really fucking stupid, Rick. You killed our people. You killed a whole lot of our people... look, I tried to stop everything from happening, my dad doesn't even know that... I'm sorry for what happened to Abraham and Glenn but there is no way around that. It happened and it's done. I'm sorry about Sasha, she took her own life and I'm sorry, but it happened. It all just happened. I am 15 years old and I've killed more people than I can count... we've all done things to stay alive. It's shitty and it sucks but life did that to us. To all of us. None of us 2 years ago thought we would be in this position. We've all been through hell and then some. If you really think about it, we aren't all that different. We're both groups of people trying to stay alive." I stood in the middle. The saviors on one side, alexandrians on the other.

It felt terrifying.

Because not only was I physically in the middle, but mentally and emotionally.

"We do what we have to do to survive. Rick, I know you would do anything to keep Carl and your people alive. You would kill as many people as you could if it meant they were safe. That is what we are doing. We are all broken. We are all unfixable. The world is dead and god knows how long until we are. We shouldn't be fighting. We-.... we shouldn't be going against each other because all of our intentions are the same. We all just want to survive. What good is surviving if not only the dead, but the living are out for blood. We've all had to do some shitty things to stay alive and it shouldn't be that way. We shouldn't be killing each other. We're just getting rid of humanity faster if we kill." I lost my track half way through my little speech, but every single person was listening.

It was silent. No one moved a muscle.

"So from now on there will be no more killing the living. There will be no more threats and there will be no more interactions." I knew my last words were going to hurt, since that meant to never see Carl ever again.

I could see the concern on Carl's face.

"Alexa-"

"We survive. It's over." I firmed my tone, cutting Carl off.

"Take your shit back and keep yourselves alive." I spoke one final thing. "Alexa-""Dad, I said it's over." I interrupted, hopping into the back of one of the trucks, unloading it back to the alexandrians.

"No more killing... no more threatening... no more interactions. We are done."

Leader???