Chapter 17

XVII. Stronger

I SAT SLIGHTLY curved on my chair, hands on my lap, as I listen to the impatient ticking of the grandfather clock echoing through the whole room. I flick a glance at Phyllis, who sat adjacent from me, and I could read her expression of mixed mild amusement and indifference; posture straight and rigid, screaming confidence.

"Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to come meet with us today, Mrs. Nivans," The principal finally uttered, catching all of our attention. I glanced at Lorraine, who only nodded in acknowledgement, her expression unreadable. "I don't want either of us to keep wasting our time so I'm going straight to business. Mrs. Nivans, your niece," He shot a glance at Phyllis, "beat four fellow students—one with a dislocated shoulder, one with a broken wrist, one with a broken nose and another one with a busted ankle. They are all in the hospital getting medical attention right now as I speak."

Lorraine closed her eyes, a sigh escaping her lips. I shot a bewildered look at Phyllis, and she stared at me back. "You did what?" I mouthed to her, mouth gaping open. She just shrugged in response.

"No lawsuit were filed against her, as the victims said that it was unnecessary. However, investigations are still ongoing and considering that this was only her first offense, I will only suspend her for two weeks."

Phyllis grinned, "Sweet."

I caught the hint of annoyance that painted Lorraine's passive face. The slight narrowing of her eyes and the twitch of her eyebrows. The principal's expression was more evident though.

"For your information, Ms. Nivans," The principal trailed off in a hard voice, "if not for your brilliant mind, your actions are grounds for expulsion right here and now."

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Brown," Lorraine shot a stern look at Phyllis, who is probably wondering whether the principal's surname suits him because his hair is already graying. "But thank you for bringing this to my attention. I assure you that this will be the last trouble you'd heard of from her." She offered a wry smile, "Is there anything else?"

The old man cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably on his seat. I don't know why but Phyllis somehow find his reaction amusing.

"Somebody is having a little crush on my aunt..." Phyllis murmured under her breath while she pretended to brush away some imaginary lint on her dress. I lightly kicked her shin from under the table, begging her to shut her mouth already.

Luckily, the old man didn't seem to hear her remark or he just ignored it. He rose from his seat, buttoning up his suit, "No, that would be all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some errands to run."

We mirrored the principal's actions, I slung my bag on my shoulder as we collected ourselves out of the office. We trickled through the busy crowd of students; however, our world seemed so silent as we push through the building and out of the school premises. I took a glance at Phyllis who had her hands slipped inside her leather jacket pockets, and it left me to wonder how she managed to break four athletic students without breaking a sweat in that attire. But what's more mysterious to me is that she can still walk around in a sundress albeit the weather is at its freezing point.

"So, uh..." Phyllis started. Lorraine spun around to face her, her expression hard.

"Phyllis, I can't believe you pulled that off." She said, running her fingers through her brown hair, "I don't even know whether to be disappointed or impressed. What were you thinking?"

"Well, since Christmas break is coming, I figured that I'd take an early leave."

Lorraine shook her head as if she didn't have a hope in life, and I sighed before I decided to join in the conversation, "Phyllis, we were trained so that we can protect ourselves, not to test it on others."

"Oh come on, Cheryl, you really think I did this for fun?" She pouted.

"What exactly happened?" Lorraine asked.

"Well... there's this nerd they're bullying. I tried talking them down but they didn't listen."

"So you beat them to stop them?" I asked.

She shook her head, "I warned them that I can punch like a girl... who was trained in the BSAA. But they just laughed and lashed out on me all at once and what happened next was instinctive." Phyllis explained with a shrug, as if she's just talking about the weather today. "But enough about that," She beamed and wrapped her arms around my waist, looking up at me with those sparkling hazel eyes, "I'm free! We can finally train again like we used to."

"But you could get sued for what you've done." I said with a worried tone.

"But I didn't," She retorted, "Besides, there are two reasons that I'd get out of this unscathed."

"Which is?" Lorraine asked impatiently.

"Well, Principal Gray is—"

"Brown," Lorraine corrected.

"—obviously a massive fanboy of you, Aunt Lorrie, and I'm the only excuse he's got just to get to see you." Lorraine grimaced, "And the guys I beat are sons of politicians so if this incident becomes public affair and when the people find out that they got their asses handed to them by some frail girl like me, what would their egos say?"

I also shook my head as if she didn't have a hope in life. Lorraine heaved a deep sigh as she massaged her temples, "I feel like I've aged a few years in just a matter of seconds." She murmured to herself.

Unfortunately for Lorraine, she was left as the temporary guardian for Phyllis as her parents are still overseas for a mission in Kosovo. Her father is a soldier in the Special Forces while her mother is a former medic and right after getting pregnant, she transferred to the intelligence unit. Looking at Phyllis' carefree attitude right now, it left me to wonder if she ever gets scared and worried for her parents' safety like I am with Piers'.

It was only two weeks after his deployment but it already feels like he was already gone for months. On the evening before he left, I couldn't sleep a blink. He offered to sleep together and here I was, trying my best to stop the tears from flowing past my cheeks and swallow back the sobs from coming out of my mouth. I could barely breathe, but looking at him made him feel like such a dream to me. And when he stirred from his sleep and saw my state, I shook my head, willing him not to speak. Instead, I wrapped myself around him and he held me for a long time and stayed awake until I fell asleep. I had offered to drive him to the airport just so I could spend a few more hours with him, and to my relief he didn't refuse. We held hands as we sat by the gate, waiting for his flight to be called, his thumb drawing small circles in the back of my hand. And when it was time to leave, I willed myself not to cry. We shared one final kiss and I whispered how much I loved him, and then forced myself to let go of him so that he could leave. And when he was finally lost in the sea of crowd, I released the tears that I'd tried so hard to keep at bay.

I shook my head. Piers. Always Piers. It was always about him, everything about my life, I realized, has always led back to him.

"Your cousin's big mouth will be the death of her, I'm sure." I said, as I looked at Piers' even expression through the screen.

"Couldn't agree more," He shrugged, "But can't say I blame her."

"Would you have done the same thing, too?"

"To be honest, I think I would have done even worse." He smiled slyly, which made me wince.

"Oh Piers..." I ran a hand on my face, "The right thing to do is to call a teacher."

"I know guys like them, Cheryl, they won't stop until you give them a reason to." I just looked at him, and he put his arms up, "You know I have a point."

"I guess so..." I leaned my head against the headboard of the bed, "How are you, by the way?"

His expression shifted but before I could decipher it, he had already masked it off with a smile. It took a moment for Piers to answer, "Same old. I just trained our pyrotechnics specialists to assemble and dismantle C4 bombs with blindfolds on. And then later, we'll have a night-terrain class and a brief about our next guard duty."

"Is that even possible, about the blindfold thing?"

"Of course. It's an advantage to know what a fuse, electric match or a slapper foil feels like even with your eyes closed. Finn managed to do so."

I chuckled, "Did you take it easy on him?"

"The last time I checked, yeah."

"I don't think I could ever pull that off if you were my commanding officer."

"Then we'd have to marry first."

I was surprised to say the least, because that was the first time that he had ever talked about marriage. I don't even consider or see myself in a BSAA uniform yet his expression... he didn't even flinch when he said that.

"Why?"

"Because a romantic relationship between an officer and an enlisted member is not allowed. But there are exceptions to this policy, that is, if you marry me before you enlist."

Du lieber Himmel! "Piers, oh God, I wasn't even..."

"I'm going to marry you one day, you know."

They said that marriage is every woman's dream. And all at once the world seemed to slow down to a halt right after he said those words to me, and I gazed back into the screen, his expression unmoving. My first instinct was to look away and bite on my lower lips in embarrassment. And seeing my reaction, I heard him sigh.

"Did I make you uncomfortable?"

I shook my head, "It didn't make me uncomfortable, Piers. You just took me by surprise that I don't know what to say."

"I don't want an answer. I just wanted to let you know that I want to marry you. And just like what I told you before, I don't want to pressure you. But if you want me, too, I already have a ring in my pocket."

I couldn't help but stifle a soft laugh, "You don't want to pressure me, Piers? But you already have a ring? Are you for real?"

He just let out a smile of his own. Damn you, Piers Nivans...

"Is that a promise?" I asked.

"If you want it to be."

Du bist Liebe meines Lebens. Ich will dich heiraten... aber...

"Piers, you have no idea how happy you made me today, but your timing really sucks." I chuckled.

"I know, it could have been more romantic if I said it to you in person—"

"No, no," I cut him off, "Saying it to me now would not make it less romantic. I don't care about romance at all. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, if you tell me to marry you right now, I would, without hesitations because I don't see my future with anyone else, or without you for that matter. But right now, I don't want you to think about me but about the war that's going on in there—"

"I told you not to read the news so that you wouldn't worry."

"I know, but I just can't help it."

Piers smiled again, "We could always work out together," He joked, and was gratified by the sound of my laugh.

"Of course. A session with my good ol' punching bag would make me good as new, right?"

"Or with Phyllis, too."

"I think I'll pass on that. I don't want to end up like those bullies."

When our laughter died down, I laid down on the bed, covering my mouth with my palm as I couldn't withstand the yawn that escaped my lips.

"You should probably get some sleep. It's already late." He chuckled.

"Really? What time is it already in there?"

"It's already 2:36 pm."

"Still early though so I'm not yet tired."

"But it's already late there."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

No. Maybe. But I still want to talk with you more. But that would be a selfish request as you have other things to attend to in a few moments. I'm tired... yes, but not half as tired as he is, as evident on the stress about the war that he's been trying to hide from me. I shook my head slightly. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand signing 5:36 am. At times like these, when your significant other is on deployment, taking calls at 3 am from halfway around the world will be seem normal.

"Nein... your next call will be next year." I pouted.

"Cheryl, it's literally two weeks before the year ends."

I let out a lazy smile, although my eyes also felt heavy. "Yeah... I wish you're here this Christmas."

"Me, too." He smiled back, "But with how much is going on in our lives, you'll be amazed with how fast time flies."

Before I can realize, I had already drifted to sleep and I didn't even manage to reply when I heard him faintly say, 'Good night' and 'I love you'.

I thought that resilience, strength and courage have become the core of myself as a person. If you are a soldier's girl, you will be forced to acquire those traits or your relationship will never work out. I'd realized that when one of Lorraine's friends found out I was having a relationship with Piers. They asked me questions about what it is like to have a soldier for a lover, as if Lorraine hadn't already told them about that. I admitted that it was hard, hard for the both of us but at the end of everything, we would always find each other. I would wait and wait to no end and I don't mind that, because I know that he will always come back to me. They said that I don't have to endure this complicated set-up, that I could always find another without any commitments that are far more important than his commitment to me, someone that would always prioritize and choose me over anything.

But... what do they know?

They could never understand people like me. I realized that it is more bearable to have a military life with him than a civilian life without him. Because for sure my life would have no meaning without him. With all of the struggles we'd gone and are going through, I won't deny that it will push and pull us back from each other, but in the end we're still together. And that will prove our love was real and everlasting.

I have never been so sure in my entire life. And I found out, as I flipped the days on the calendar, the worries that I have about the war in Edonia was starting to diminish. I was certain that he would be home very soon. Safe and sound.

Then came January 2013, when a devastating news came to me that sank my heart to the pit of my stomach. A tragedy... that no one ever thought was possible.

I have read the news about the aftermath of the war in Edonia. Although all was well, I couldn't help but still feel dread at the countless of casualties and deaths that occurred, which Piers always reminded me was inevitable in a war. But we didn't have a proper conversation in the first two weeks of the month of January. He would call but we could only talk for only five minutes and nothing more than that. When I asked him about the war, his answers came off as vague and evasive, and as much as he tried to act all cool about it, the uneasiness underlying his even expression didn't slip from my observation.

He said that everything was fine when I know and feel that it was far from that. It must have been very sensitive for him to lie to me about that. I understood, and I just waited until he was ready to tell me everything. But that didn't stop the worry that was trying to knock in me.

And it was then, after a few days of sulking in a corner, I received an e-mail from Piers, much to my relief. But my relief was short-lived, for the contents of his e-mail was enough to make my blood run cold.

Cheryl,

First of all, I'm sorry. I'm okay, don't worry about me. I don't know how I'm going to say this, and I originally planned not to tell you but I don't want to continue lying to you as I know that you'll find out eventually.

While we were investigating the base of the guerillas, we came across a woman named Ada Wong who claimed to be one of the hostaged staff. Captain and I were suspicious so I had to keep an eye on her. We cut through the warehouse to find the exit, but we were lured right into her trap. She ended up infecting the whole squad, except for Captain and myself. We managed to fight them off, but Chris sustained a severe head injury that left him with an amnesia.

Just two days ago, he escaped and disappeared without a trace. We got search parties sweeping around the perimeters, checkpoints—every possible place that he might have gone to. I'm still searching for clues for his whereabouts, and I would search the whole Eastern Europe if I have to. Right now, I was shouldered with the responsibility of leading Alpha Team. I'm sorry I won't be home like I promised. The BSAA depends on me right now, Cheryl, and I can't afford to let it fall apart right now.

It is one of these crucial times that we need to be stronger. A part of me hates myself for not being able to spare a few hours with you anymore. But a part of me was also glad that you didn't have to be here to witness all of this violence and cruelty. But at the end of everything, Cheryl, you are the last one that's on my mind before I go to sleep and the first in my waking moment. And when I finally come back, I'm going to marry you like I promised.

Piers

Beyond the window and through the tears in my eyes, I could see the thick snow falling and I wonder if it's also snowing to where he is right now. I donʼt care whether Edonia is the most dangerous place right now but all I want to do is book a plane ticket and go to the place where he is.