Chapter 28: Michael Jackson

Perhaps the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet still become something beautiful. 

Today is such a beautiful day but I don't know how to enjoy it. I've been up all night at the studio by myself. But, I can't seem to get inspired. I thought I had everything that is truly meant for me. But, being in the studio by myself alone with my thoughts change that feeling.

Something is missing in my life but what? I have so many people in my circle but no one close to me really. I don't know how to be me around others. I don't know how to be comfortable with myself unless I am making music.

But, I yearn for the happiness outside of my music. To be happy but, I'm so shy when meeting new people. I don't know who I can truly trust. I don't even know who I truly am. I don't know how to be myself. Forced to grow up so quickly. I lost that youth, that excitement, that passion and innocent love for life. Losing my childhood I lost so much in me. I just want that feeling back.

DING! DING!

Where are we? I thought I had a meeting to go to with my brothers. But, why are we at a drive thru? I've been so engulfed in my thoughts since we left the studio. I just been feeling out of place. Like I no longer belong in my own body.

I've been so busy making everyone else happy. Doing what everybody else wants. I just don't know what I want anymore. What I need. I just wish God, could give me a sign on what is truly meant for me. Because, I just want to believe in something again. Not just myself. But, someone who believes in me. I just want to believe in the magic of life again.

"Welcome to Cup of Joe. This is Maya. How may I help you today?"

Who is that? Her voice sounds so beautiful but like she's on repeat. I can hear the pain in her voice. Is that so weird?

"Yes, can I get an extra large black coffee with a shot of espresso." John says. "What are you getting Bill?" He asks looking at him in the passenger's seat.

"Extra large two creams two sugars." Bill answers.

He repeats before looking back at me.

"Anything for you boss man?"

I open my mouth to speak but sit there frozen in time in my seat. My heart nearly stops beating. I've heard so many people sing my songs before but, there's something magical about her voice. Something truly breath taken. I just have to meet her. I have to know her and why she's giving me butterflies right now. Something I've never truly experienced from someone.

"I'm so sorry." She says.

Oh no! Why did she stop singing? I wanted to hear her sing the whole song. I have to meet her. I just have too. I need too. 

"Yes." I say with so much excitement. "I wanna meet her. She has a voice of an angel." I breath out.

Why am I so excited? Why am I so intrigued by someone I've never met? Someone I haven't even seen yet. Just the sound of her voice. Her gentle voice. She's something out of a disney movies. Something Magical. 

"It's okay Hun." John says. "Can I also get an orange juice?" He asks.

"Sure thing. May I get you fellas anything else today? She asks.

Is her manners do to her working or is that really her kindness? Why am I so curious?

"No thanks that's it."

"Okay your total is $8.09. Please pull up to the window when you get a chance."

"Thank you."

"You are very much welcomed."

Gosh, my heart is beating so fast right now. I feel like a school boy meeting his crush. Crush? I haven't even seen her yet. How can I have a crush on her? I mean looks don't even matter to me but still. How can I be so drawn to her? How can she give me so many butterflies already? We slowly pull up to the window and the excitement is just building in the pit of my stomach. Why can't I get my nerves under control. 

Why does this mystery girl have such a hold on me already? I sit there fidgeting with my fingers just waiting for John to reach the window. When he finally does I release a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. I must say hello even if I never have the chance to speak to her ever again. I must introduce myself. But, why? I've never been so keen on meeting new people. I'm so shy around people. But here I am initiating it.

"I want to meet her." I say practically jumping from my seat. "I must say hello." I say.

I watch her co-worker walk away towards someone. I can't see her face. Even when she turns around and walks towards the window. These windows are too dark too see. But I must at least say hello. Even if that means I won't ever meet her again.

"Pull up." I practically beg. "I wanna meet her."

I hope she doesn't react like the rest of my fans. I honestly do love every single last one of my fans. It's just that I want a normal conversation with someone. Just at least once. Please. That's all I am asking for. John slowly drives up. Allowing me to finally get a chance to meet the girl with the magical voice. Gosh, I am so nervous. I slowly grab the handle for the window and turn it as my heart beats fast in anticipation. Who is this girl. Whose already captivated me. The window finally comes down and my heart nearly stops from how breathtakingly beautiful she is.

She's not like any model or the women you see on television. Just a normal girl and yet I find her to be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I can feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead from my nervousness. I can see the sorrow in her eyes. The fear, the tiredness, the pain. How exhausted she looks. But, yet I still find her so beautiful. I need to find my voice.

"Hello, how are you today sir?" She softly spoke.

I can feel the butterflies flutter around my stomach and the beating of my heart in my head. Why is it pounding so hard?

"I am well. Thank you for asking." I say finally finding my voice. "How about yourself?" I ask with the heat rising in my cheeks.

Does she even recognize me? I know I have aviators on and a cap. It is a little dark in here. But can't she tell by my voice or does she even care who I am?

"I'm good. Thank you for asking." She softly says but I get the feeling she's lying. "My co-worker said you want to speak to me. Did I get something wrong on your order?" She says so sweetly.

Gosh, my heart hasn't stopped pounding. But, yet I want to continue to talk to her. There's something about her that pulls me in. I want to continue to know her. I want to learn about her. I don't want this to be the last time we ever speak.

"No. I just had to meet you."

I can't help but smile at her as her eyes danced across my face. Why is she studying me so hard? Does she know who I am?

"I'm sorry." She says with wide eyes.

I can't help but blush at her finally getting a good look at her eyes. I can't help but admire her brown alluring eyes. I can see the loneliness and the vulnerability, But, also the strength and the passion. We've barely spoken many words to each other and yet I am drawn to her and I want to be her friend. Even though we come from two different worlds I can feel that she understands my pain and where I come from.

"You voice is beautiful." I softly say.

I hope that wasn't too forward. It's just so magical.

"I'm sorry I know it was unprofessional of me. I just couldn't help myself. It's one of my favorite songs."

I can't help but be intrigued by her. So she knows my music.

"Are you a big fan of Michael Jackson?" I ask intrigued.

I have to know.

"I mean he is my favorite singer." She says and my heart just skipped a few more beats. "His music has helped me out of some pretty dark places."

Does she really not see who I am?

"What would you do if you ever got to meet him?" I ask.

I need to know. I really need to know. 

"He's still a human being." She says and my eyes grow wide. "So pretty normal." She continues. "He already has enough going on and different people in his face. I rather not cause more stress in his life."

I wish we could be friends. I hope she meant what she said. I really need something normal like this in my life. But she probably doesn't want to get entangled in my world. I'm not good enough. 

"I'm so intrigued by you." I say as I find myself moving closer.

Those words slipped out like vomit. I'm so drawn to this woman.

"Yo boss man we are on a tight schedule." Bill says from the passenger's seat.

"I know Bill." I say but I can't peel my eyes from her. "You said your name is Maya right?" I say as I find myself reaching my hand out to her.

I motion for her to come closer as I do. She reaches for my hand and I find myself placing a soft kiss on her hand. I can feel the heat rise in my cheeks as the butterflies swarm my stomach. I can see the hint of pink in her cheeks too.

"Please keep my secret but my name is Michael." I whisper for only her to hear.

I lean back into my seat after letting her hand go. I reach my hand down into the right pocket of my jacket and grab my wallet.

"Do you guys split tips?" I ask as I sit right in my seat.

"Yes sir." She says as a chill runs down my spine.

"How many of y'all are there?"

She stands there for a moment thinking.

"Five sir." She says looking at me again.

I can't help the heat in my cheeks. There's something mesmerizing about the way she looks at me. I reach into my wallet and grab two hundred dollar bills and place my wallet back in my pocket.

"Well, here you go." I say handing her the bills as her eyes grow wide.

"I'm sorry sir but this is way too much. I can't accept this."

"Please accept it." I say nicely.

She sighs heavily.

"Thank you so much sir." She says so kindly.

"We really need to go sir." Bill says to me.

"Okay. Okay." I say to him but I really don't want too. "When will I see you again?" I ask.

I have to see her again. I really want us to be friends.

"I'm here every day sir almost around the same time." She says.

I can hear the exhaustion in her voice. Every day? Doesn't she get a day off? Well I can't talk. I work everyday too. Literally the entire day. I don't remember the last time I got a full night of sleep. I'll be lucky if I get an hour even thirty minutes.

"Thank you." I say for only her to hear. "Until we meet again." I say.

"Bye." I hear her say as we drive off.

Man, they could've given me the chance to say goodbye. Is it weird that I miss her a little?

__________________________________________________________________

We finally make it to the record company and I can't seem to wipe this smile off my face. Gosh, she gave me so many butterflies. What has she done to my heart? No one has ever made me feel this way. I sigh heavily into my seat and Bill looks back at me.

"Awe man Mike." He says laughing loud.

He can't even burst my bubble right now. I'm too happy. She's changed my whole mood today. I was in such a slump and she changed it for me. She didn't even do anything. But, yet made me smile. Gave me so many butterflies. Even made my heart skip a lot of beats. I need to see Maya again. I just have too. Maya, such a beautiful name.

"Hey, Mike are you just gonna sit here or actually get out of the car?" Bill asks.

I look at him and sigh heavily.

"Yeah." I drag out. "Let's get this over with."

He hops out of the passenger's side and opens my door. I slide out. I push up my sunglasses and straighten out my jacket. With Bill and John close to me we head inside and straight to the conference room. I sigh heavily seeing everyone. My brother's and Quincy stare at me through the glass walls. Yeah I'm late as always but this time was so worth it and I will do it again. Just to see her beautiful face. They all look at me sideways as I walk in and take a seat next to Randy.

"What's wrong with you man?" Marlon asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

I think I know why. 

"Why are you smiling so hard?" Jermaine asks.

Bill starts choking on his laughter. I sit there and I bite my lip as my cheeks burn and the butterflies swarm my belly.

"Smelly what happened to you today?" He asks with squinted eyes. "You were in such a funk when you left the studio this morning.

He's right I was. But meeting Maya has made my day so much better. I can feel my smile growing even bigger the more I think of her. Maya, I say to myself with 

"Bill, what happened to Mike?" Randy asks looking back at him in his chair.

I sigh as I fall back into my seat just thinking about her beautiful face.

"Maya." He simply says.

My eyes perk up from her name and the beat of my heart increases. I wanna see her again. I need too. 

"Whose Maya?" Jackie asks.

"She's.. She's.." I sigh heavily with a huge smile on my face.

I can't find the words. But, why? Why does she make me feel this way?

"What did she do to you?" Tito asks in between his laughter.

All eyes are on me waiting for me to speak. I can't seem to find my voice now. My eyes fall to my lap as I fidget with my fingers. I really want to see her again. I hope we visit her tomorrow.

"Bill!" They all say in unison.

I'm so glad I am wearing glasses right now but, I know it they can tell that I am blushing right now.

"It's not my place to tell." He says laughing.

Thank you Bill. Thank you so much. I'm not ready to share. I need to know that she is real.

"But I will say he's so smitten with her." He says laughing loud.

Thank you for embarrassing me.

"Alright let's not embarrass him anymore than he already is." Q says. "Let's just get down to business."

Here we go again. I mentally roll my eyes.

"Ah. Perfect timing." He says as someone walks into the room.

They exchange handshakes and Q claps his hands together.

"Okay. I think it's about time you guys focus on your next album. Your fans have been waiting. Randy has informed me that you guys have written some new songs."

"Yes. I'm ready to get back into this with my brothers." Jermaine says.

"That's why I have this young man here with is today. This is Charlie Jerome. He will be the producer working on your album with you guys."

Awe man. He knows I don't do well with meeting new people. I pull my cap down trying to hide my face. Honestly I rather be getting to know Maya instead of working with him. I can't wait for tomorrow morning. I won't be able to sleep at all today.

"Hey Mike, stop thinking about Maya for a second and just work with us please." Marlon says.

I lift my hand up from hearing her name and catch Charlie's eyes growing wide. He sighs softly and looks down at his feet. I wonder if something was just said to him? I should just be nice to him. We will be working together. So I might as well. I sigh heavily.

"What days are we doing this?" I ask softly through my shyness. "I have other things to do too."

"Mike." Randy says looking at him from the corner of his eyes.

"What?" I say looking at everyone. "I do have other work to do. Not just with you guys."

"Smelly is right." Q says. "Let's just figure out time frames for the studio."

With that we figure things out. Discuss other business and before we knew it we were parting ways. We were all heading out when we see a young woman standing on the drivers side with the door wide open yelling for Charlie.

"Charlie will you hurry the hell up. I don't have all day to wait for you." She says rolling her eyes.

"Awe man whose that?" Randy breathes out with a smile.

Charlie sighs heavily.

"Why must you embarrass me?"

"Stop procrastinating boy and hurry up."

"Is that your girl?" Randy asks him.

"Now that's a first." He says laughing.

"Yeah." That girl laughs too.

"Usually people ask if we are twins."

"Really?" Randy says looking between them. "I don't see it." He says shrugging his shoulders.

"That's my little sister." He says as he walks over to the car.

"I'm your only sister." She says cutting her eyes at him.

I shake my head at them as I catch up to Bill. He opens the door and I slide in into my seat. He closes the door and I take my glasses and hat off. Today has been such an eventful day. I can't wait to see her again. Maya, how I wish to know more about you. How I wish we can be friends. How I wish for this to be more real than anything. Because she sounds too good to be true.  

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That person enters your life out of nowhere and suddenly mean the world to you.