E I G H T E E N

Hyerin's POV

I'm sitting on the couch, squirming in my seat with anticipation because Jangmi and Jimin come home today. I've missed them both so much, it's been really hard on my own for the last 3 months.

I'm now 5 months pregnant. Jimin and I decided to give the baby up for adoption once it's born. We didn't think it was fair to take a life away because of our own stupid mistakes. It's not the baby's fault. 

I know it's going to be hard. I already feel an attachment to it... It's growing inside of me, and every hospital appointment I go to, I can hear it's heartbeat and see it moving on the ultrasound. I feel a sense of pride when I can see it, when I hear it . But when I get those feelings, I stop myself because I know it'll be even harder when the time comes to give it away. 

As I sit on my own in deep thought, a tear falls from my eye, slowly running down my cheek. I feel a lump form in my throat. I don't want to love it. I can't. It'll destroy me...

I love Jimin. I want nothing more than to have his children, I want us to be together, get married, grow old... It's been 6 months and he still hasn't made a move for us to be together officially. I watch Yoongi and Jangmi together, and I can't help but feel jealous. I want that. I want Jimin to tell me he loves me, to give me random kisses on my forehead, to tell me I'm beautiful. 

To feel proud that I'm his, and only his. 

But he holds back. I don't know how he really feels, he's never opened up to me. In the beginning it was just lust, sex. The sexual tension between us was clear the first time we met. But after a while, I started to develop feelings for him. Really deep... 

I fell in love with him, madly, quickly. I wasn't interested in other men, I only had eyes for him. I began to picture us in the future, happy, together. And I knew at that point I'd fallen in deep. But I never knew how he felt, I still don't. 

Ugh, maybe it's the pregnancy hormones making me think like this, getting all broody. I shrug it off and try to occupy my mind with something else. I'll cross that bridge when it comes to it. Maybe I can talk to Jimin about it properly when he comes over later. Whatever the outcome, I need to tell him how I feel.

Later that day.

I hear the door slam from the foyer, followed by Jangmi's voice.

"Hyerinnnnnn!" She sings. I immediately get up from the couch and waddle over to her. Now that I'm further along in the pregnancy, I'm showing, and growing bigger with each day. I feel huge already. 

"JANGMIII-AHHHHH!" I scream as I enter the foyer and quickly pull her into a tight hug, pretty much attacking the poor girl. God, why am I so aggressive?

She pulls away and looks at me, still holding onto my arms. "Oh my God! I've only been gone 3 months and you're really showing." She says in shock. 

"I know, It's gone quick. Only 4 months left..." I say with a crack in my voice. Jangmi notices my reaction, giving me a comforting smile and pulls me in to hug her again. 

"Oh, Hyerin... I know you're scared. I know it's really tough. But just think to yourself, this is better for the baby's sake." She says, gently running her hands up and down my arms. 

"I know, anyway... I don't wanna talk about that. Let's talk about you and the trip! How was it?" I ask her, pulling her over to the couch. 

"Oh, it was amazing. The first night Yoongi and I got into a little heated argument, but after that it was nothing but pure bliss. He treated me like a Queen." She says, a genuine smile etched on her delicate face. I'm so happy for her. She deserves this, she deserves a good man and happiness. 

"That's amazing! Where did you go?" I ask her.

"All over Europe. The last stop was the UK, definitely my favourite. Everything there is so... different. But in a good way. It's a country with such history and class. I loved it. We need to visit it together. You'd love it!" She exclaims. 

"Oh, I spoke to Jimin, he's coming over in a couple hours." She stops to look at her watch. "So at 4pm." She says. 

Immediately I feel a smile dance onto my lips. The thought of seeing Jimin again for the first time in 3 months drowns me in ecstasy. I've missed his voice, his scent, his touch. And I'm really horny too. I wonder if I can still have sex comfortably with my size... Aish, I never change. 

Jangmi and I have been talking for the last couple hours, talking about her trip, her time with Yoongi, filling me in on the argument. I would have punched him in the God damn dick if I was there. I lost track of time, and before I knew it, I heard a buzz at the door. I look at the time - 

4:13pm. Shit, Jimin's here! I didn't even get ready. FUCK. No no no no. I look like shit, I have no makeup on, my hair is a mess and my clothes are stained with last nights food. 

"STALL HIM." I yell running to my bedroom. 

As quickly as I can, I run a comb through my hair, add some blush to my cheeks and change into some fresh clothes. Alright, I think I at least look presentable. 

I walk out of my bedroom and I'm immediately met with Jimin's beautiful brown eyes. He looks at me with shock on his face, staring at my stomach. I give him a shy smile. Oh God, does he think I look fat? Ugly? Gross? 

"Hey." He mutters, his gaze still locked onto me. 

"Hi." I reply back simply. I'm unsure of how to take his reaction.

"I'm sorry, I look disgusting." I mumble, looking down at the floor and playing with the ends of my hair. 

"What?! No... You look... Beautiful. You're glowing, Hyerin." He says, lifting my chin up with his finger, raising my head to look into his eyes. His deep brown orbs captivate me. He's staring into my soul. I feel completely numb. I'm head over heels in love with this man. 

A genuine smile appears on his face as he looks at me intensely. I return his smile, and he immediately pulls me into a hug. My head is rested against his hard chest, my arms around his waist; with his around my shoulders. I inhale his perfect, light scent; and all of my worries wash away. I forget everything. 

He lets out a deep sigh, his chin is rested on my head. "I missed you." He whispers softly. 

I feel the tears building at the back on my eyes. I try to stiffle my sobs, but I can't. Before I knew it, I was sobbing uncontrollably into his chest.

"Jimin, I missed you so much. It's been so hard on my own, I've felt so lonely. And I feel huge! I get back pain and my body aches, I still feel sick sometimes. I want to eat weird combinations of food that nobody should ever eat. I feel so fat, ugly and disgusting every day." I ramble into him. He says nothing but gently rubs my back with his hand, comforting me. 

"And... I can't help it, Jimin. I can't stop the way I feel about you. I know we're in a really difficult situation right now, and you're probably going to blame it on my pregnancy hormones, but it's not." I stop and raise my head, looking up at him. 

"I lo-" He interrupts me by placing his lips onto mine. I'm taken aback, my eyes are wide open as he kisses me. Eventually I let myself sink into the kiss, closing my eyes and running my hands through his hair. 

He gently pulls away, his face still inches from mine; he places a light kiss on my forehead.

"I love you too." He whispers.

I stand on the spot like a statue in utter disbelief, staring at him with my mouth wide open. 

"Y-you do?" I stutter. 

He lets out a small chuckle. "Yes, I do." He says, gently caressing my hair. "I'm sorry I've been distant, I've been battling myself in my head over my feelings and what I should do. What we should do." He says, sadness forming on his perfect face. 

"I want to be with you, Jimin. Officially. If Yoongi and Jangmi can do it, then I'm sure we can." I say with desperation in my voice. This is all I want. He's all I want. 

He sighs heavily, his breath hitting my face and pushing my hair back. "I've thought about it a lot. I've watched Yoongi and Jangmi the whole trip, feeling jealous..." He says, moving his hand down to gently wipe a tear off of my rosy cheek. 

 "And?" I ask.

"And... I want to give it a try. I realise how much I love you. I don't want to waste an opportunity to be happy with you, Hyerin." He says sincerely. His other hand is holding mine, lightly grazing his thumb over my knuckles. 

Hearing the words I've longed to hear for so long sends me over the edge, I burst into a raving, hot mess with tears streaming down my face. 

I smash myself into him in a hug, gripping tightly around his muscular waist.

"I-I'm so ha-happy." I sob. He chuckles at my over reaction. 

"I'm so-sorry. It's t-the-" Before I could finish my sentence, he interrupts me. God, he likes interrupting me.

"It's the pregnancy hormones. I know, baby."

I can feel the vibration on his chest as he continues laughing. I bury my face deeper into his chest, feeling like an immature little schoolgirl... Aish, why do I always embarrass myself like this? 

"It's alright... Stop crying. We'll spend the whole day on the couch with junk food and movies. How does that sound"? He asks.

Sounds like fucking heaven to be honest.

I unstuck my face from his shirt and look up at him, giving him an innocent nod. He gives me an eye smile and places both of his hands to cup my cheeks, using his thumbs to dry the wetness on my face; placing a peck on my lips.

"Alright, you pick the movie." He says, walking towards the couch.

Hmmm...? 

"How about..." I trail off.

"Burn The Stage?" I smirk.