Chapter 7 - True love

When Saturday night came around, I was extremely nervous. I didn’t have the help of Jessie because she had gone to work hours ago. I was all alone, though that changed just an hour ago when I was in the middle of getting ready. I had been texting Lucian about what was going on, but then all of a sudden he had stopped texting me so I turned my phone off. Thirty minutes later he comes bursting into my room yelling that he was here to save the day. Of course I had attacked him with my pillow, but then realized that it was only him and then continued to hit him with the pillow, screaming at him still, telling him that I could have been butt-naked when he walked in. His response? He shrugged.

I love this boy like a brother, but I swear, he irks me.

I ended up dressed in a black and hot pink dress. Even though I hated the color pink, I had to admit that I looked good in it. It belonged to Jessie, which I had no clue that it was even in her closet. But with my leather jacket, the outfit made me look damn hot. I wouldn’t have chosen this outfit, but with Lucian’s help, I eventually looked beautiful. More than beautiful. I looked hot. Once again, he knew just how to make me feel good about myself. This was one of the reasons why I loved him, and why we were friends.

I wore no make-up, so Lucian and I just lounged around the house, waiting for Ethan to come over and for our date to begin. Most girls would say that wearing make-up on a date was crucial, but I wasn’t most girls. I hated make-up, and what it did to your face as you got older. People think that it makes you beautiful, but it only makes you uglier with age. I didn’t want that. I avoided it at all cost, so I never wore make-up. I hoped that Ethan didn’t mind, because I really wanted him to like me back, even though he had already admitted it.

Oh, God, what is this boy doing to me? I had never in my entire life worried that a boy wouldn’t like me because of the things that I wore. I always wore what I wanted to, clothes wise or facial wise. I was always myself, and I always told people that if they didn’t like it then they could have nothing to do with me anymore. No one could change me, that was my motto when I was in high school. That was what my favorite band taught me, believe it or not. I was taught to be myself. This boy had changed me by a long shot. I was worrying about whether he would like me for what I wore now, which I vowed never to do. No matter what I told myself, I kept worrying about it.

When a knock at the door finally sounded, I jumped up and raced Lucian over to the door. Lucian wanted to open it and give Ethan the brother talk, but since I was faster than him, I opened the door before he could. I stood there with my eyes wide for a moment. Ethan’s appearance had shocked me. He was dressed in a plain grey T-shirt with a leather jacket similar to mine, and dark blue jeans and just regular combat boots. His hands were stuffed in his pockets again, but his clothing choice isn’t what shocked me. What shocked me was that he wasn’t wearing his ball cap like he usually did. He was hatless, but his hair was ruffled as if he had just taken it off. He looked hotter than normal.

He seemed to be just as shocked as I was, for he looked me over in the same way that I was looking him over. Both of our cheeks flushed, making me think I had done something right. I wasn’t too dressy, or too casual. I was afraid that I was going to be either one as well tonight, but it turns out that I was just perfect. What would I do without Lucian?

Speaking of the jerk, he bumps into me from behind and pushes me into Ethan’s arms. If Ethan wasn’t able to stand on his feet, I would have ended up on top of him and this date would start out in a very awkward way. Well, that is if this was a cliche movie. In the real world, if he wasn’t stable and I bumped into him, he would have fallen over and cracked his head open on the pavement, and the date would be over before it even started. Our relationship would be over too, and I sure as hell don’t want that. Anything but that.

But Ethan caught me and stood me upright while still staring into my eyes. Our cheeks burned brighter, and I chuckled nervously, which made him smile. I stood up straight and took a step away from him, glaring behind me at Lucian, who was shrugging with a smirk on his face as if asking “What did I do?” That jerk almost make me kill Ethan on purpose. Of course, I don’t think he had the thought of either of us getting hurt in his mind, but still. He could have severely hurt either of us!

“You look really beautiful tonight.” Ethan says, bringing me out of my angry state. I turn back to him, and my face flushes again and I relax.

I smile and look down, playing with the end of the black skirt that was on my dress. I looked back up at him, not able to meet his eyes. “Thanks.” I say softly, pushing one of my dark curls behind my hair. “You look great too.”

I see Ethan smile in the corner of my eyes, but then I hear Lucian clear his throat, and Ethan looks at him shocked. I groan to myself and shake my head, not liking what was about to happen next. I can just tell that this is going to be awkward. I turn back around to face him and give him a forced smile that says “Leave us the hell alone and go home.” But Lucian, being the stubborn person that he is, gives me a smirk and looks at Ethan with a frown.

“So you’re the guy that Marnie’s been telling me about.” he starts in a deep voice that doesn't suit him.

I immediately face-palm and lean up against the door frame, not liking where this is going more and more. I shake my head and look over at Ethan, silently telling him that I was extremely sorry for Lucian. He gives me a shrug as he looks at me, then looks back at Lucian with a half-forced smile himself.

“Yeah, I suppose so. I mean, I hope she’s not dating someone else. That wouldn’t be good, would it?”

And the blush comes back on my face. Did he just say “dating?” I thought I heard him say dating. Did he say that we’re “Dating?” Oh my gosh, he said that we’re dating. Does that mean… Does that mean that I have a boyfriend? Does that mean that Ethan is my boyfriend? Does that mean that I, MarnieRae Andrews, is Ethan’s girlfriend? Oh, good glory this boy is going to kill me someday. And that Someday is going to be sooner rather than later.

“Are you calling her a cheater?” Lucian said with a raised eyebrow. I look at him with wide eyes, unable to believe that he had just asked him that. Ethan seemed shocked too, for he had the same expression on his face as I did.

I shook my head, wanting to slap him. “Why would you ask something like that? Lucian this is-”

Lucian cuts me off with the wave of his hand. I couldn’t believe how childish he was acting. He was supposed to be the adult, yet he was acting like a little kid. I know that he’s only looking out for me and only wants the best for me since he’s my only family, but really, this is going on too far. But clearly I didn’t have a say in this, so all I could do was just stand there and not say a word. I looked at Ethan, though he didn’t seem affected by this at all. If anything, he seemed amused. I really didn’t understand boy’s. I don’t think I ever want to understand boys.

“No, I don’t think of Marnie as a cheater.” he says to Lucian. I look at Lucian to see what he’s going to say next, but Ethan doesn’t stop talking. “Marnie is a fantastic person, and if anything, I don’t think that I deserve her. She deserves something much better than me. Honestly, I’m the luckiest person in the world if I get to date her, because there’s plenty of people out there who are better than me and would be better for her. Much better, actually, but she chose me and I won’t take advantage of her like that. I won’t treat her like she’s nothing. I’ll be there for her, for anything. I’ll take care of her. I’ll make sure that she has the best time of her life, and I’ll make sure that nothing happens to her, ever. I care about Marnie, a lot, and her happiness is all that matters to me.”

Right now, I was so glad that I wasn’t wearing makeup because my eyes were tearing up like crazy. My mouth was open in shock, and my eyes were wide as well. My heart was skipping beats and pounding like that night on the couch a few nights ago. No one had ever said those things about me. No one had ever made me feel as if I was special, like Ethan has before. I truly felt as if I belonged when I was with him, and I felt as if I had a place here, and it was with him. I actually felt as if I had found my one true love when I was just about to give up on love forever. He had saved me from giving up. He showed me what life is like. He showed me the real me.

“I approve!” Lucian said with a grin on his face. I couldn't help but laugh at that, and I was glad that Ethan found the humor too for he laughed with me. I smiled at him, making him wrap an arm around my shoulders and pull me close. I smiled as he kissed my forehead then looked at Lucian, who was trying to discreetly wipe a tear away from his eyes.

“Are you crying?” I ask in disbelief.

Lucian jumps, startled that he had been caught in the act. “Uh, no. I have something in my eye.”

I give him a look. “You’re so crying.”

“Well how can I not?!” he says while pointing to us both, a tear leaking out of his eyes. “That was so beautiful!”

I laugh some more along with Ethan, surprisingly enjoying how this date was turning out so far. I kiss Ethan’s cheek and look back at Lucian. “Well you go ahead and have a good cry, we have a date to get to.”

Lucian nodded and pushed us a little bit off of the porch. “You guys go have fun. I’ll lock up for you.”

“Thanks, Lucian!” I said then grab Ethan’s hand, pulling him to my car just like I did on our pre-date date. I get into the drivers side while he gets into the passengers, then drive away when we’re both in our seat-belts. I bite my lip and turn the radio on when we’re on the highway and when there’s barely any traffic. Well, there’s always traffic on a Saturday night, but when there’s less traffic than there will ever be do I turn the music on. Immediately I hear a Linkin Park song playing and I turn it up a bit.

“A Linkin Park fan?” Ethan asks me. I’m not looking at him, though I can hear the smirk in his voice.

I feel the heat rising on my cheeks yet again. “I have many, many favorite bands. Linkin Park just happens to be one of my top favorites.”

The car ride after that was painfully quiet. We didn’t go to Fairbanks to eat, we went out to a district called Fox, where restaurants and bars mainly resided. We went to a restaurant called The Turtle Club, which was also a bar as well. I made sure that we had made reservations in the dining hall though, so that we would be away from the bar. I hated bars, and I never wanted to be in one ever. The Turtle Club’s food was amazing, I just didn’t like the fact that it was a bar too.

“This place is… different.” Ethan says as he looks around. I can’t tell what he’s feeling. Amazement, fright, confusion, nothing. I can’t tell at all, which scares me personally because I can usually tell what anyone is feeling. With Ethan, I can barely ever tell what he’s feeling.

“Is it alright?” I ask him while biting my lip. I hoped that it wasn’t too much, or that it wasn’t too inappropriate for a date. Before Mom died, Dad took her here for a date, though they ate in the bar instead of the actual restaurant. I know that for a fact.

“It’s fantastic. Though the turtles are creeping me out a little bit, it’s amazing.” he said while shivering as he stared at the turtle trinkets on the shelves behind planes of glass.

I shrug and tug him away from the small claustrophobic hallway that connects the bar to the restaurant and stood in front of the receptionist desk. “You get used to it after a while.” I turn to the receptionist. “Reservations for Andrews.”

The receptionist typed something on her computer then looked at us with a smile. “Party of two?” once I give her a nod she grabs two menu’s and takes us to the back and puts us in a corner. We were under a light fixture hanging off of the wall, giving us our own little light. Once she hands us our menu’s, she gets out a notepad and asks us what we want to drink. Both of us say water at the same time, making our cheeks flush. I look down at my menu with a smile on my face, my cheeks burning as if I was under the summer sun.

The waitress went away, and Ethan and I looked up at each other. It was still a little weird for me to see him without his hat, but honestly, he looked amazing without it. I think I like him better without it, though it’s going to take some time getting used to because, well, I’m so used to seeing him with it, not without. I had thought that it was his signature trait by now.

“So.” I say, trying to get this awkward situation to turn into a fun time. I hated being in awkward situations, but I couldn't help it. I was just a naturally awkward person. I had tried once before when I was younger to just do things without thinking about it first so that it doesn't seem so awkward, because back then I believed that if I did something without thinking it’s awkward, it won’t be. I learned the hard way that it would only become even more awkward. “You never actually told me about yourself.”

Ethan raised an eyebrow, making me face-palm myself mentally. There I went, asking him a question that only made this situation even more awkward. I looked down, my face flushing a brighter red if that was possible.

“Well,” he said, making me look up at him. “What do you want to know?”

I blink in surprise. That actually worked? It wasn’t awkward for him? Well then, I suppose my plan to just do without thinking is finally working for once. Finally. “Well, do you have any siblings?”

Ethan nodded slowly and bites his lip. He looks me in the eyes. “I have three sisters.” before I have a chance to say a word, he asks me, “Do you have any siblings?”

I sigh and lean forward, staring at the rose that was in a slender vase on our table. “I have one older sister, and I did have a little brother.”

Ethan’s face pales. “Did?” he asks cautiously.

I look back over at him to see that he’s nervous. I sit back up and give him a small smile. “Daniel. His name was Daniel. He died of a brain tumor when he was three. I was five at the time. I try not to talk about it because it’s a hard subject to talk about, but I can’t be in denial for that long. All I remember of Dan is that he was a lovable little boy with a smile on his face every day. I never saw him without one, even on the day he died. He was smart, and as sad as it is, he knew that his time was up so he spent it making people happy. He was the best brother I could have ever wished for, and I’m glad to have been his big sister.” I say with a smile. I had looked away while talking about him, but now I looked back at him, and Ethan seemed shocked still. I still smiled, and he smiled back.

“You, are the most amazing girl that I have ever met in my entire life.” he compliments me. I blush again and push my hair behind my ear yet again. I got goosebumps on my arms, though no one could see because of my leather jacket, and I was thankful for that. “You’re strong, beautiful, and smart. Those are the three best qualities a girl could ever have. I am the luckiest man in the world to have met you, to have moved in next door to you, to have befriended you. I am the luckiest man in the world to have you all to myself.”

My mouth was open again. This boy never ceased to amaze me. He never stopped making me feel as if I belonged, and as if I was meant to be here with him, and that I had a purpose on this planet. Ever since my mother died, I wondered what exactly my purpose was. I wasn’t suicidal, I would never turn to killing myself. I’m too scared to do something like that. I was just curious, and in a phase of depression for a bit. But now that I've met Ethan, like I have stated many times before. I have found my purpose. And my purpose was to be with Ethan.

Ethan reaches out and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers. I smile at him as he smiles back at me, and soon his thumb starts to caress my smooth hand. “Anymore questions for me?”

I’m caught off guard again. Did I have anymore questions for him? Of course I did. I needed to get to know him. I had to, before we went further in our situation because if we went further in the relationship while being blind, and then we uncover things that we don’t like about each other, we could end up in a very bad situation. I've been trying my whole life to avoid terrible situations.

“Yeah.” I say, pausing for a moment to think. “Where were you born?”

Ethan tenses again for a moment, but then he looks at me yet again. It’s like I’m an electron, and he’s the opposite charge, being pulled towards me like magnets.

There’s your science lesson for the day.

“I was raised in a small town in England, close to London. I moved to London when I was eighteen, and met the boys in the neighborhood park later that month.” when I didn’t say anything, he continued. “Where are you from?”

I shrug and lose my smile again. Damn, I’m just enjoying being bipolar today, aren't I? “I was born in Florida, but we moved here when I was really young. I spent my entire life here, and you know how I got stuck here.”

Ethan gave me a reassuring smile and gave my hand a squeeze, telling me that he knew very well. We spent the rest of our dinner like that, finding out things about each other. He had a much happier story than I did, but my life story wasn’t exactly all depression and sadness. I actually had some happy memories, like when I graduated, when I moved in with Jessie, when I got my job at Barnes and Noble. There’s many accomplishments in my life that I’m proud of. I’m not like a damsel in distress. I’m strong, like Ethan said I was. I’m unique. I’m me.

After dinner, we went to the river over by our historical park. When I say historical park, it’s really just a park that features things that are really Alaskan. It used to be a zoo, so it’s not that big either. Don’t get me wrong, it’s big, but not like amusement park big, or national park big. It’s just a park.

We go past the Queen Nenana, the actual boat that brought people to Alaska in the 1800’s, when we walk into the park. Really, we weren't allowed to be here since the park was closed, but I wanted to show him everything first. When we go past the boat, he stares wide eyed. It’s a really huge boat, and no doubt if I wasn’t used to seeing it then I would get goosebumps. It would be even creepier if it ever got dark here. Summers in Alaska didn’t involve darkness. We had twenty hours of daylight. When we passed the skip, it was in broad daylight. That meant that we were running through a closed park in broad daylight… I really didn’t think this through.

“Come on!” I whisper while giggling quietly. I didn’t want to get caught. We would be in a very bad situation if we got caught. God forbid we get caught.

We soon make our way all the way across the park, and to the river that was behind it. I take my flats off and carry them in my hand as we walk on the docks that lead to the river. I smile and sat down on my knees as Ethan sat down with one of his legs crossed and the other one up so that he could use it as an armrest for his right arm. I smile at him and lean back, staring at the water as it rushed past. It didn’t look very fast, but looks can be deceiving. Close to the shore it didn’t look fast, and the current actually wasn’t, but if you get towards the middle of the river, it’ll pull you under in seconds and you’ll never be found.

“I still can’t get used to the fact that it never gets dark here.” Ethan said with the shake of his head, breaking the silence.

I smile and continue to watch the river. I lean over and stare into the water, and wrinkle my nose at how dirty it was. I wanted to stick my hand in there to see when I couldn't see my hand any longer, but I reminded myself that there’s fish in there, and I didn’t want one of them biting my fingers thinking it was a worm. I just settled on the conclusion that it wasn’t very clean water. “You’ll get used to it.”

“How long did it take you to get used to it?”

I look over at him with a look that said, really? “I grew up here my entire life. I was used to it before I could remember.” I didn’t mean to sound snobby, but it kinda came out before I could think about how I could rethink my words a bit.

Ethan wrinkled his nose, making me do yet another mental face-palm. I shake my head and open my mouth to apologize, but he beats me to it.

“Meow.”

I was caught off guard when he said that, making me pause and blink rapidly to take in what he just did. My mouth was open as I paused, and it was probably unattractive too. I shook my head to snap out of it when he started to chuckle and just stared at him shocked with my mouth closed this time.

“Sorry, I couldn't resist. I saw an opportunity and I took it.” he said with a shrug.

I shake my head and grab his hand. I was smiling now, well, grinning is more like it. He immediately grips my hand back, intertwining our fingers again. I lean closer to him, but don’t get so close that we’re in each other’s personal space. “I thought it was pretty funny. Besides, I do the same thing.”

Ethan grinned and stared down at me. It seemed as if his eyes glanced between my eyes and my lips, though I wrote it off as being a figment of my imagination, even though it was probably true.

“Do you really?” he asks me softly, his voice husky as the quieter it gets.

I nod. “I really do.”

Ethan’s grin got wider, which only makes me bite my lip because he was melting me on the inside. I really thought that he was only getting hotter to me, if that was possibly. Ever time that we were together, I fell even harder over my heels for him. I never thought I could ever have a relationship like the growing one that’s going on between the both of us, until he showed me how to love. Ethan showed me how to love. That thought only made my heart want to beat out of my chest. I bit my lip harder at the thought, trying not to grin a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” he said, bringing back my earlier assumptions of him thinking about kissing me.

I don’t say a word, because I only know that he would cut me off. There we go, I knew him better than I did on Tuesday, the day that he had first kissed me. I didn’t know what he was going to do that day. I didn’t know what he could be thinking. I didn’t know what he was going to do next. Now I knew that if I tried to say anything, he would cut me off. I kept my mouth shut and just stared at him for a long moment before I wrapped my arms around his neck quickly, crashing my lips to his. At the same time, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him. We kissed each other, immediately going into a heated make-out session like the one that we had on the couch on Tuesday. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment that we had together. Jessie wouldn't be here to ruin our moment. No one is here to ruin our special moment together, unless a stranger decided to just walk up and push us into the water. That wouldn't be good. I would be angry then, instead of happy about kissing my maybe-maybe not boyfriend.

When we pull away, Ethan’s lips are right back on me, but he moves to my neck. He pushes my curly hair behind me and kisses my neck, making me feel something I have never felt before. I close my eyes and bite my lip at the sensation that was shooting through my body with every kiss that he gave me. I would moan if I ever got the chance, but I had the right mind to not moan, because that wouldn’t be good in this type of situation, we were in public, and if people walked by, I didn’t want them to hear me freaking moan while making out with my maybe-maybe not boyfriend. That would have been a disaster.

I open my eyes when I realize exactly what we’re doing, in public, and get embarrassed even though it was really late and the highway was quiet for once. I pull away from him and blush when I realize that my hands are on his abs. I pull my hands away, and he seems to realize what we were doing too, for he rubbed the back of his neck and his face flushed too.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do that in such a public place.” I said while laughing a bit. Ethan nods and laughs a bit too. I turn back to the water, and gasp when he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me into his side. I stare up at him, and he smiles down at me. He moves a piece of my hair away from my face, making me smile softly. I turn my head back the other way and lean into his side a bit more. He sits there with me in silence as we watch the water rush past us quietly, and as ducks start to land in the water. I smile, knowing that summer is finally here since the ducks are coming back.

We didn’t leave until about an hour later. I could have sat there for days with Ethan if we wanted. We both knew that it was getting late, and we were both getting tired and that if we didn’t get back soon the others would worry about us. We had been out for a good amount of time. It was around six when we left, and now it was ten. we had been out for hours, and I wished that we could have stayed out longer if we weren’t so tired.

When we got back, Ethan walked me to my door again, and suddenly we were back in the same moment that we were Tuesday. I smiled up at him and he chuckled, making me chuckle too. Neither of us said anything, though I don’t know whether we had run out of things to say, or whether he was thinking about how this was exactly like Tuesday, or whether he just wanted to spend more time with me. I would ask him if he wanted to come inside, though I didn’t offer him because Jessie was home. The lights were on, telling me that she was home early, again. I lean up and kiss his cheek since neither of us said anything, though he turned his head at the last second, making our lips touch. I chuckled and pulled away since it was just a peck and push my hair behind my ear again as I looked down.

“I suppose this is goodnight then.” he said to me as he took my hand.

I pouted but nodded. “I suppose so.”

He smiled and kissed my cheek, making me flush again. He opened my door for me, making my heart shatter because we were saying goodbye. But just knowing that we were going to see each other again tomorrow made me grin again. I stepped inside and turned around, facing him from the other side of the door. I smile and tell him goodnight, and he says it back. I slowly close the door, though he doesn’t move yet. When the door is closed completely, I hear him start to leave. Sweet boy. He didn’t want to leave me alone until he knew that I was inside safely.

I sigh and turn around then squeal softly when I see Lucian standing behind me. I knew Jessie wouldn’t be here. She’s still at work. Lucian never left.

“You guys were gone for a long time.” he said as he put some ice cream in his mouth. How he had found my secret stash of butterfinger flavored ice cream, I haven’t the slightest idea.

“What are you still doing here?” I ask him as I take the leather jacket off.

Lucian smirks and offers me some ice cream. I gladly take it, and he glares at me when I eat the rest of the ice cream in the bowl quickly. What can I say? I was craving something cold when I felt like I was on fire everywhere.

“‘Scuse me.” he said with a scoff. “I was only offering you a bite or two. Not the entire thing.” he said with the cross of his arms.

I glare right back at him and smirk. “Tough.”

Lucian rolls his eyes then takes the bowl and spoon from my hands, taking them to the kitchen. I pull my shoes off and then walk to him, sitting on the counter. Even as I sat there, he was still an inch or two taller than me. “So why are you still here exactly?”

He chuckles. “I waited for you to get home, because I wanted to make sure that you got back at a reasonable hour and weren’t out for hours on end. It’s good that you’re back before Jessie got here. I would have gone mad if you were out past midnight with a guy.”

I roll my eyes. “Gee, Dad, thanks for looking out for me like I’m some crazy teenager.”

He flicks the spoon at me, raising his eyebrows as he looks at me. I flinch and wipe some water that had sprayed on my face away. “Hey now, none of that. I’m only looking out for you, you know that.”

I chuckle and swing my legs back and forth. “I know. I’m just messing with you, the way that you’re messing with me. I’m glad that I have someone to look after me.”

Lucian smiles then comes over and kisses my forehead. I yawn after he does so, and he taps my forehead with his index finger. “Someone needs to go to bed.”

I sigh and hop off of the counter then start to back out of the kitchen. “When are you leaving?”

“After Jessie gets here. Or I might just spend the night.” he says with a shrug.

I smile. “You can spend the night. We have a guest room, you know. It would be nice to go to work with someone in the morning.” another great thing about Lucian was that he lived here in North Pole too, so he could ride to work with me in the morning, and ride back here with me too to get his car. We had done it many times before, and I love those days that we do ride together.

“Sounds like a plan. No go to bed.” he says as he waves his arms, telling me to go away.

I blow him a kiss then turn around and run up the stairs, making sure not to trip with how dizzy I was with exhaustion. It’s not fun when you trip up the stairs. Trust me, I’ve done it many times before, and it’s not fun. Especially at school during passing period, when everyone is watching you. It’s the most embarrassing thing in the entire world.

I get dressed into some pajamas and turn my lamp on, getting into bed and turning my music on before I turn the light off and snuggle into my comfy blankets and pillows. I smile as I think about Ethan. I was up for what seemed like hours after that, though with my music being the only time that I had, I knew it had only been minutes. With Ethan, we had already lived what seems like a lifetime. I bite my lip and roll over, slowly drifting away once I get comfortable again with Ethan still on my mind.