Chapter 4 - Jealousy

“Stay behind each other, no one pass whatsoever. Got it?” the instructor, who was female, said over her shoulder to us. I looked behind me after I nodded since I was directly behind the instructor. I told Ethan, who was behind me, to repeat what she said to the others. He did so, and so did everyone else until the last person in the line, who happened to be William, got the message. I looked back at the instructor and nodded for us to continue. We were on our way then.

I had gone horse-back riding once before when I was ten. I had gone with my parents when the prices were below a hundred dollars per person like it was now. It might not be much, but it was extremely expensive to go horse-back riding. The ironic thing is that when I was ten, when I went with my parents, they had only done it to rekindle their marriage, and they also did it for me. Obviously it didn't work out too well.

We went horse-back riding for about thirty minutes before our small trip was over. Nothing eventful happened at all, except for the fact that we saw an Eagle, but that was normal in Alaska. It wasn't William's bear, but it was still a magnificent sight. It wasn't normal to see an Eagle in the Fairbanks area necessarily, but it was still normal to see Eagles in Alaska in general.

We got off the horses one at a time. Since our group was so large, we had to wait for the instructor to put the horses back one at a time. I was the last person to get off, since I had fallen behind. My horse – whose name is Oakley – had stopped at the small stream towards the middle of the ride that we had to cross to get a drink. The instructor told everyone to pass and let my horse drink, so they did. Except for Ethan. He fell behind with me, but ended up in front of me. For some reason, I had a feeling he did that on purpose.

When I was getting off, I noticed a figure at my side right before I got down. It was Ethan, watching me with a hopeful look in his eyes. When I jumped down however, the hope in his eyes quickly died away. I was confused for a moment and wondered what that was all about exactly, but I quickly shook it off. I didn't need to strain my brain with questions I would never be able to answer.

“Did you need something?” I asked Ethan as the instructor took Oakley away from me.

Ethan shrugged. “Well I was going to ask if you wanted help getting down, but it looks like you got that covered.” he gave me an embarrassed smile, which made me smile a little bit.

“I've been riding horses for a while now. I know how to mount and dismount easily.” I realized that I was bragging and blushed without saying another word. I put a stray strand of my long hair behind my ear and looked over at the others. When I looked that way, they seemed to scramble and quickly talk with each other. I raise an eyebrow, because I already knew that they had been watching us. They had wasted their time though, because there wasn't anything “interesting” happening between Ethan and I. If there was I would have known about it.

“So what now?” I asked, directly the question towards Jessie.

Just as expected, Jessie turned to look at me to answer. She had that look on her face like she was thinking for a moment before she finally shrugged. She walked over towards us with the others following her. She got her phone out of her pocket and looked at something. She bit her lip and put her phone back.

“Well it's only two. We could walk around, show you guys around, then go get something to eat at the restaurant here since it'll take hours before we get a spot. How does that sound?”

The boys all looked at each other and shared those looks on their faces like they knew what each other was thinking. IT was the same look from yesterday, when we first met them. I started to back away slowly so that no one noticed that I was leaving. I turned on my heel when the boys shrugged and nodded in agreement and kept walking. I wasn't sure why I was walking away from them; I guess I just needed some “me” time. I walked along the gravel path with my hands behind my back. I looked around, and smiled a little when I saw the geese walking around on the play ground beside the springs. I took my phone out and snapped a quick picture. I was just about to take another one, when a figure darted out in front of my phone right when I too a picture. I looked up, about to tell the person off for getting in the way, except the words didn't come out of my mouth. Instead, I was rendered speechless by the sight of Ethan in front of me. It wasn't just the face of a familiar person that stopped me from speaking, but what he was doing exactly is what caught me off guard. When I looked at his lips, he was smiling widely. He was smiling with his tongue in between his teeth. I had only seen one other person be able to do that and make it look attractive; just like Ethan was doing now.

“Are you okay, Love?” Ethan asked, looking at me concerned now.

I shook my head, getting out of my thoughts before I was too far gone. I looked up into his blue eyes so that I didn't get lost looking at his lips again. “Uh, yeah. You just scared me is all.”

 Ethan stood up straight and stared at me skeptically. I stared back with no emotion. It ended up turning into a staring contest quickly after that. Eventually I raised an eyebrow, which made him start laughing. I don't know why, but I start grinning like an idiot and giggling, which turned into a full-on laugh. Ethan and I laughed together, and took a deep breath at the same time to calm down. I almost started laughing again because of how in sync we were with each other, but I held it in. We both grinned at each other, but then he winked at me. I didn't know how to feel about that, so I just looked down with a small smile on my face. No guy had ever even looked at me in the way Ethan looks at me, let along wink at me. Wait … That means he's flirting. Ethan … whatever-his-name-is, is flirting with me.

“Come on, Weirdos. You're falling behind.” Sam said to us from in front of us. I hadn't noticed the others pass us; and from the look on Ethan's face, neither had he. This just got me to blush, and I kicked myself mentally for blushing in front of him.

“Well; after you.” Ethan said while gesturing towards the group that was getting further and further away with every second that passed. Jessie was talking to the boys about everything they passed, whether it was interesting or not. William was listening with great interest to everything she was saying. In my opinion, I think he just wanted a reason to stare at her.

I gave Ethan a smile before walking towards the group. I looked behind me to make sure that he was following me, which he was. He soon took the spot next to me and walked beside me.

We both stayed behind the group as Jessie gave a tour by herself. I walked with my hands tucked in my back jeans pockets. I wanted to speak to him. I wanted to talk; I wanted to get to know him; but I didn't know what to say to get the conversation started. I had never had this problem before. I had never really talked to guys before unless I was forced to during school. So really; I didn't know how to talk to a guy.

I decided to just be brave and strike up a random conversation with him.

I turned to him and started to say something, but what I wasn't expecting was for him to do the same thing. We both stopped speaking at the same time and laughed nervously. We both looked away, and I tucked my hair behind my ear. I bit my lip and looked at him to ask him what he was going to say, when he did the same thing. Both of our faces flushed bright red. I bit my lip, trying to hold back a grin, but failing miserably, and looked forward as we walked.

“Uh,” Ethan said in a nervous laughter. “Sorry.”

I shake my head, letting a small chuckle escape my lips. “It's fine. What were you going to say?”

When he didn't answer immediately, I looked over at him with a curious look in my eyes. Ethan was biting his lip in thought. He then grinned through it and looked at me.

“I want to get to know you better.” he said, shocking me. “Would you let me get close to you?”

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him in shock. No guy had ever wanted to get to know me, to be my friend, like Ethan does. I had never felt the connection I feel with him before with anyone else. I had a special connection to Jessie, but that was because we were like sisters. With Ethan though … It wasn't a brotherly feeling. It was more than that.

“I'm sorry.” Ethan said softly, shaking his head as he rubbed his face with his hands in a stressful gesture. He turned away from me and continued walking on, but I stopped him by grabbing onto his wrist. He looked back at me confused, but the hopeful look in his eyes from before had come back.

I gave him a small smile. “I'll tell you everything you want to know, under one condition.”

Ethan moved towards me a little bit, making him have to look down at me, and me up at him. He gave me the same small smile as I had given him.

“Alright.” he said in that familiar British accent that I had no clue how I knew but I loved so much. “What is said condition?”

I stayed silent for a moment to give the moment a dramatic effect. Then I laid out my condition. “You have to tell me about yourself as well. Hobbies, your past, interests, things like that.”

Ethan grinned and held out a hand to me like I was supposed to shake it. “Done,” he simply said.

A grin made it's way slowly upon my lips. I stuck my hand in his, and sealed the deal to tell each other everything. We were both grinning like a couple of idiots.

As I started to walk away, I started to slip my hand out of his. When I did however, his grip on my hand just tightened. I stopped and looked back at him to see him smiling. He walked towards me and winked. He pulled me along with him. I blushed as I walked with him around the springs, hand in hand, fingers intertwined.

It took us an hour to get a table at the restaurant when we finally decided to get something to eat. It took us twenty minutes to get our orders taken.

“Hi everybody; I'm Ben and I'll be your waiter.” he gave all of us a smile, but it faltered when he looked at me. He stared at me for a moment before looking down and clicking his pen open.

I looked down and stared into space.

Do I really disgust people so much that they can't even stand to look at me?

“Marnie?” Jessie said softly as she put her hand on my shoulder just as softly. I jumped out of my own thoughts and looked at her worried expression. I looked around at the others who looked at me confused. The waiter, Ben, was staring at me too. I became self-conscious as looked at Jessie to distract myself.

“What are you getting?” I asked softly.

“Steak and baked potato. Why?”

I turned away and closed my menu. I glanced up at Ben but quickly looked back down. “I'll have the same as her.”

In the corner of my eye I could see Ben writing it down. Things were silent, but it was an uncomfortable silence. I bit my lip and looked at the others, and gratefully noticed that no one was staring at me.

Except for Ethan.

I stared back at him from across the table. I tried so hard to read his expression, but I couldn't. I got lost in his blue eyes that seemed so dull. They never sparkled with excitement or shined with happiness. They were always just a dull bluebell color.

“So let me see if I got this right.” Ben said, making the world come back to me in a rush. I hadn't even noticed that Ethan and I seemed like the only two people in the world for the moment.

I looked away from a smirking Ethan as Ben read off all of our orders. I bit my lip to hold back a smile. I looked back up when Ben read off my order.

“And another steak for the beautiful Marnie.” he said with a smirk and a wink.

I looked at him with slightly widened eyes and an opened mouth. He wasn't in fact staring at me because he was beyond disgusted with me. He was staring because he thought I was beautiful.

I looked down with a smile on my face while blushing brightly. I looked back up at him to see that he was still smiling at me. Well, grinning really. His brown eyes were sparkling brilliantly.

“Well, I don't know about the beautiful part, but yeah. You got it.” I tossed my hair over my shoulder and smiled at him. I might as well be nice to him if he's going to be really nice to me.

Ben grinned then seemed to realize that he had to go back to work because he backed away slowly. He was still staring at me and wasn't watching where he was going so he accidentally backed into a table. He turned around and caught a flower that was in a glass case before it fell. I chuckled and hid a grin by putting my hand over my mouth. He laughed nervously and looked our way before he quickly left the room and went to the kitchen. I looked back down with a grin still on my face.

I looked up at the others because I didn't want to seem like I was embarrassed with my constant blushing and grinning. When I looked up the others were talking to each other and sharing jokes. Ethan was the only one who wasn't. He was looking down at his water with a glare on his face. I stared at him for a long time, trying to figure out why he looked so angry, but not once did he speak to anyone. I couldn't figure out why he was so angry and it bothered me so much. I don't know why, but me not knowing why he was angry made my chest hurt just as much as it bothered me.

It was pretty plate by the time we all got back to our homes. Around ten or eleven at night. What bothered me about the trip home was that the boys all rode in the same car. William was going to go with us, but then Ethan got into the back seat of their car, and no one else wanted to ride with us.

Now I know I pissed him off.

I drove up into the driveway quickly and got out fast. I slammed my door shut and went to Ethan. He was in front of the other boys and going towards the front door fast. Behind me Jessie was yelling at me, asking me what I was doing. I didn't let Ethan out of my sight however. I was aware of the fact the guys were watching me, but I didn't care. I walked up to Ethan who was already almost inside. I chose to run then so I did. I ran in front of the door and faced him so he couldn't go inside. He stopped abruptly before he ran into me then took a couple steps back. He looked more shocked than mad now. Once he saw that it was only me though, he went back to glaring. He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him by speaking first.

“We need to talk. Now.”

Ethan didn't speak. He just stared at me, those dull blue eyes making me feel as if he was digging into my soul.

“Fine.” he finally spat. The way he forced himself to agree made me flinch.

Ethan grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the side of his house, away from the others so they couldn't see or hear us. He stopped and let go of my wrist then faced me with his arms crossed. I got a glimpse of some black ink on his arm underneath his long sleeve T-shirt, but I couldn't make out what the tattoo was.

“Well,” he said between gritted teeth. “What do you want?”

I crossed my arms to mimic him. “Why are you so pissed off at me?”

“Not everything is about you, Marnie.” he said coldly.

My mouth dropped open in shock. I had never heard him be so cold before, even though this was only the second day since we met. We had acted like we knew each other since we were kids. Now he's acting like I'm his worst enemy. Is he bipolar or something?

“I know it doesn't.” I managed to say. I wanted to sound confident, like he hadn't caught me off guard. I failed when it came out in a choke. “But you're obviously pissed off at me for something and I won't stop bugging you until you tell me what I did wrong. I have a right to know if it concerns me.”

Ethan stared at me for a moment. I thought for a quick second that I saw guilt in his eyes, but he quickly put the walls back up and his expression became stone cold. “Maybe if you wouldn't have flirted with that stupid bus boy after flirting with me then maybe I wouldn't be so pissed off.”

I let myself look shocked now. My mouth fell open and my eyes widened in shock. He was pissed off at me because I was “flirting” with Ben after I “flirted” with him? Okay. I can see why he would be so pissed off at me for that, but in my defense I didn't know I was flirting!

“Whoa, hang on a minute.” I told him, still staring with wide eyes. “I didn't mean to flirt. I was just being nice to people. If it makes you feel any better I only talked to him like that because I know I'm never going to see him again.” I ran a stressful hand through my hair. I really liked Ethan – as a friend – and didn't want to lose my relationship with him.

“He was a stranger, Marnie. Since you were flirting with him he probably thought you were interested in him and wanted to date you.” is he … Is he jealous?

“I don't believe it.” I said while shaking my head. I uncrossed my arms. “You're jealous.”

Ethan didn't hesitate with answering. “Of course I'm jealous. The girl I like who I thought liked me back was flirting with another guy right in front of my face.”

I felt my face flush when he admitted to having feelings for me, but my expression didn't falter. “Well how was I supposed to know that you liked me if you didn't tell me and again, I didn't even know I was flirting with him.”

“Well maybe I was going to ask you out on a date after we got home but that idea got ruined when you flirted with someone else.” he had grumbled the first part then raised his voice a little bit towards the end.

“If you wanted to ask me to go out with you on a date then you should have just asked instead of just assuming that I like some stranger and make me seem like a whore.”

Ethan's expression faltered, but he didn't put back up an expression of anger. He stared at me for a moment and I stared back. I was tempted to ask what his deal was, but before I could he spoke in a much quieter tone. “So if I were to ask you out on a date, would you say okay?”

I stared at him; studied him. He was truly a walking mystery. One minute he would be funny and sweet, the next he would be fuming with anger and jealousy, and finally he would be calm and quiet. I swear he's bipolar.

“I don't know.” I finally mumbled. “Maybe. I mean, I like you so...” I trailed off and looked away when I admitted that I liked him back. I wouldn't be making a fool of myself since he said he liked me first, and I wasn't ashamed about liking him, so I shouldn't be embarrassed.

“Then go on a date with me. Saturday night. Dinner and a movie.” he said quickly.

I stared at him with my mouth wide open.

He just doesn't quit surprising me does he?

“Okay.” I said quietly. I was still in shock, but I had finally managed to speak to him that one word. I haven't the slightest clue how I managed to speak.

He gave me a small smile. “We'll go around six to eat dinner then go to the movie, yeah?”

I just slowly nodded, unable to say any words anymore. He seemed to be in the same state as I was, because instead of saying something, he leaned down, and planted a soft warm kiss to my already burning right cheek. He was extremely close to my mouth too. Although I wanted to turn my face and go ahead and kiss him, I willed myself not to.

When he finally pulled away, my face was completely flushed and my heart was pounding. He winked at me before turning around and disappearing around the corner.

I don't know how long I stood there before my feet finally moved me towards my own home. I was still out of it because I was trying to process the fact that on Saturday night, just four days away, I had a date with a really hot guy who I had a crush I didn't know about on.

This shall be fun.