Chapter 56

Chapter Inspiration: Wicked Game by Ursine Vulpine

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When Sasuke returned from training with Naruto, he quickly headed for the shower. Mai wasn't home yet realizing it was dark out and worried for a moment as to where she was. The Be Fong could take care of herself, but figured she'd be back hours ago. He hoped she returned soon, entering the bedroom and collecting his things.

"Are you leaving?"

Turning Sasuke saw Mai standing in the doorway.

"I was going to slip into the night and head west after I said goodbye," he said. Continuing to pack his bag once more. The room was silent for a few moments.

"How long have you known you were going to leave today?" Mai asked.

"This morning. You were already gone." There was a long pause as he pulled on his uniform.

"Sasuke... please don't go back out there."

He cocked a brow, turning to look at her. "What's brought this on?"

"Nothing... but I missed you. And every time you're gone... this feeling gets worse."

"You know I always return."

"I know, but I still can't help but worry you'll get hurt in some way. And is it wrong to want to see you more than a week or two out of months at a time?"

No, it wasn't because he missed her presence too, but...

"I can't stay," he said.

"Why?"

"Why are you so adamant on this matter all of a sudden?"

"Because my last mission made me rethink some things, all right. Answer the question."

"I can't stay and you know that. I have yet to reach my full potential and I can't find that in Konoha."

The young woman's brows narrowed, not wanting to hear that answer. "But why?" Mai shouted. "Why do you have to keep going out there? Haven't we grown strong enough? More than we could ever hope for since we first became Genin? Haven't the both of us done enough? For our allies and enemies? When do we get to say enough?"

"We never get to! Not since we were children and not being ninja now. There will always be something out there that threatens our existence and we have to keep fighting for survival. You of all people should know this with your line of work. It's never enough till everything that is out there that could cause harm is destroyed. But there's always something that comes around to take its place. So it's up to us to be stronger to prevent another war from breaking out."

"I can't think like that," she whispered. "I have to believe that there is something better for us than the constant death and war. That there is such a thing as peace and a chance for us to live happy without being used as a puppet or weapon. Isn't that what you want?"

"Of course, it is. It's all I ever wanted. To continue the Uchiha Clan. To have a family. I don't go beyond the gates of Konoha to run away from that future. I go out there because of you."

Mai's brows pinched, eyes slightly growing in wonder.

"You deserve everything in the world," Sasuke reasoned, "but I know everything that you've gone through. Out of everyone in the Village you're the one always in the most danger. I want you to be happy, to be content to give it all up, so you no longer need to be on the front line. If I become stronger, I can take up the burden placed on you."

"I never asked you to do that for me."

"You never would voice it, but I know you're growing tired."

"What about you then? When do you say enough? Who takes over for you when you're done?"

There was a pause before he answered, "I have yet to reach that point in my life."

"But you're strong enough for me!" Mai shouted in frustration. "Please, Sasuke, give it up! I'll do the same, I'll stop going on missions, I'll stop searching for ways to travel beyond the Village. Just please stay for once in your life."

Because she was, for the first time, willing to give it all up in that moment.

His expression never changed during her confession; eyes trained on her the entire time. The young man heard the begging in her voice, along with pleading eyes. And he believed what she said.

"Do you honestly think the Hokage and Ibiki would allow you to throw in the towel so easy?" Sasuke questioned. "There will always be a mission that cannot be completed by any other ninja because you are the top ranked ninja in the Village. They will always ask for you to return. Or figure out a way to twist your arm to go out into the field. None of them care about your wellbeing. I don't want you to die. Seeing it nearly happen on the battlefield a number of times... I'm at my limit. This is where I can clearly say 'enough'."

"There is always someone to take the place of another."

"Not in this case. The two of us are on whole other levels from the others. And you can deny it by saying that Naruto or Sakura or Sai or Kakashi could take our places given our specific skillsets. Many of them are too well known by now to take on half of the infiltration missions you become involved in. They would be recognized on the spot. And many aren't trained to stick to the shadows as well as you are. They have other aspirations.

"As for those you work with in Phantom and ANBU, no one could ever hope to match you because Ibiki would always be comparing. It will never be enough. You're always the first one on the lists when assignments go out. Only to get the short end of the deal constantly putting your life on the line."

"I chose that life for myself from the beginning."

"But they helped coax you forward to achieve your goals, along with Belva. Can you honestly say you wouldn't be the person you were today without them?"

No, she couldn't. At least not at this age. Maybe in time reaching this point in her skills could've been possible. But never thought she would ascend this quickly in the ranks in such a short amount of time.

"There were enough instances in our lives that could've still turned me into this without their help," she said. "It would've just taken longer."

"But it didn't, for the both of us. We made our decisions and now there are expectations for us. I would like to say it was enough. That we have done more than presumed in our time as ninja for the last nine years since graduating. The only time when people are satisfied is when we are dead. And like I've said, I won't allow that to happen to you. You mean too much to me to be reduced to nothing more than a memory."

And that was the whole reason behind his choice hunting down the rogues. He was so fearful of losing her, the Uchiha eliminated any that stood in their way before she got a chance to do so herself. And maybe in the end, all rogues would be so terrified they would stop their ways or move off the mainland elsewhere. That would dry up the missions. So much so it would force her retirement in Phantom. Allow her to take a step back and join Kakashi as a sensei, maybe even quit being a ninja all together. However, killing rogues without an order and eliminating innocent people like No Face was not the way either.

"Why can't we say enough now?" Mai whispered.

She would admit to herself that the time spent with the band of rogues was the most peaceful and at home she had felt in a long while. It gave her meaning, following them and doing good. There was no bloodshed unless needed. No one expected anything from her in performance. And it didn't feel as if she was always being watched. Not belonging to a Village and not having to think of the responsibility and consequences depending on actions was a nice relief. So why couldn't they leave for something greater than all of this? Why not travel to the Moon Kingdom where they had no ninja and blend into society, or to Stone Country where Lord Reagon wished for her to work his personal detail. He would give her everything she asked for and fighting off Claw Ninja would not be as demanding like dealing with all the nations on the mainland.

"We could run away together and you wouldn't have to do it alone this time," Mai offered. "But instead of searching to be stronger, we can just be ourselves for once."

Death wouldn't always be looming over them–

"Mai," he breathed out with a sigh. "We would be hunted. I could possibly get away, but you... they would hunt you down."

"You don't know that."

"You have a Kekkei-Genkai, a high title, and know probably almost every secret the Leaf has to offer. Why would they risk letting you go? If an enemy could get a hold of you for information... it's a liability to their security."

"I don't spill secrets when things get too hard." She'd rather die that betray her homeland.

"No, you don't, but how can that be guaranteed for their peace of mind? In the end you would still be in danger. You're too deep in the system."

The Be Fong was basically trapped in this never-ending cycle. Birth. Life. Death. There was no escaping it and coming to terms with that was crushing. She begged softly, "Please, Sasuke... just stay. For once in your life stay. If we can't run... We'll continue to rebuild the compound here and our Clans. Things can work, but please stop looking for something that isn't out there."

Because it wasn't possible to get rid of all the bad in the world no matter how hard one tried. That's why there were ninjas. Sasuke would always be searching for the one thing the world could not have and in turn it would mean that she would no longer have him. He wasn't aware that she had been there to watch him kill Beon, the young woman would take that to the grave if she had to. Mai wouldn't tell the Uchiha that his secret was out if–

"I'm not done yet," the Uchiha declared.

He was always saying it, but when would it actually be enough? There was never a deadline. Never a clear answer. And he would never have one. Moving across the space between them, the Be Fong stared blankly in front of her.

"I know it's not what you want to hear," he spoke quietly in her ear, hugging the young woman close. "But I love you and want to protect you. Everything that you said we can do together, I want that, I truly do." He kissed her tenderly on the lips. "I'm scared to lose you," he admitted. "You and I know of the horrors out there and I need to be sure I've learned enough to keep you safe and our future. I'm not sure when I will be back, but I will find you."

Now was the moment. She could have said something. That she was there. How she knew everything. Saw everything. Try to convince him that everyone knew of the serial killers on the loose and all she had to do was complete her report on No Face to the higher ups for their search to narrow. But what would that accomplish? He'd either try to deny it or come up with an excuse for his actions and in a way Mai didn't want to hear. She was tired. Of everything. This running around for the last three years had grown troublesome, in Shikamaru's words. Enough was enough.

There was something else that needed to be taken into consideration that Sasuke was not even aware of himself. But the teen couldn't force him to stay. Just like all those years ago when the young man first left as a child. If the Uchiha continued to long to travel and become stronger than what was the point anymore? Nothing would change. Birth. Life. Death.

Mai never opened her eyes since the kiss, hearing the Uchiha walking away towards the door. They didn't open till he was gone because the young woman was afraid that he would see the tears gathering in the eyes, threatening to fall down the cheeks.

She had truly lost him.

Sasuke was not ready to give up a life of crime as a rogue. At least this time it wasn't for revenge. He had a good reason now. But even after his attempt to kill every criminal what if even then it wasn't enough? Was there ever a part of him that wished to have normalcy?

For years Mai thought so. Or at least convinced herself of it. But after that exchange ... doubt clouded her every thought. If this continued the Uchiha would be hunted. Ibiki and the Hokage would send out elite ninja to pursue him, and if they couldn't handle it then the other Kages would get involved too. Just like what transpired in the Land of Iron at the Kage Summit. History would repeat itself. If anyone finally discovered the serial killer's true identity none would hesitate to execute him on the spot once and for all. And nothing Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, or Mai said was going to save him. No one would give the Uchiha a third chance.

The Be Fong couldn't handle losing another person she loved. She'd be driven mad by grief and heartache. Though at the given moment in this situation Mai was beginning to feel herself slipping. With the flick of a wrist a pot went flying through the air and smashed into a wall spraying ceramic and dirt everywhere from the plant inside. It didn't stop there as the wooden table in the living room flipped over and the contents on the top scattered about the floor. The couch followed. Then the dining table, chairs, picture frames hanging on the wall, it was complete chaos and utter destruction. The Be Fong didn't care as her muscles tensed up and she let forth a loud and agonizing scream out of frustration and hopelessness.

Everything they had was dead.

The interior of the home was in complete disarray when she was through. At least the exterior looked completely fine and normal. A perfect mask to the outside world showing that nothing was wrong when its owner inside was slowly breaking. Mai lay on the wooden floor of the living room to stare up at the ceiling for hours feeling utterly empty as the minutes ticked by. Eventually, in the late morning hours, she pulled herself up to move about the home. She refused to clean anything from the destruction. The young woman also refused anyone that came knocking by keeping the lights off and the doors closed to make believe that no one was home. [song ends]

Naruto and Kakashi came by, along with Shikamaru and Belva at different times. Surprisingly the woman didn't force her way in because Mai knew her sensei was aware someone was home. But she left after a few minutes of no answers. There wasn't time to host any of them. Mai wasn't in the right mind to talk. What was she going to do? Any option seemed to end in Sasuke's death by someone's hand. The young woman couldn't bring herself to burden another ninja with the responsibility in Konoha. And telling anyone outside of it would spark outrage even a possible conflict between the countries once more. It was five days before finally coming to somewhat of a conclusion on what to do next, staring at the coin now between her fingers in thought.

"Masaru," she whispered. "I need you."

Chakra surged through the coin and began glowing with its newfound energy source. This was something Mai had never witnessed before, the object still illuminating even after its activation. The young woman grabbed a blanket that now lay on the ground and walked to the porch to sit in one of the rocking chairs. The coin was placed on a small table beside her in the shadows. As it grew later sleep was the last thing on the Be Fong's mind, though she severely lacked it since the Uchiha's departure. Finally, the man appeared out of the darkness around three thirty in the morning.

"You should be resting," he said. "But it seems like you have a lot on your mind." His eyes traveled to the coin. "You've called sooner than I expected."

Unfortunately, she had to agree with him, but didn't voice it. "There's something I need you to do for me," the Be Fong said.

She still wasn't allowed to leave the Village. But there was no more time to wait around and do nothing. Mai needed to act.

And that intrigued Masaru.