Chapter XVIII

CW: this chapter contains the f slur, homophonic dialogue, themes of SA (very light) and just generally not a happy chapter

Will Solace

Before:

"Oh my gods, Will, are you still pouting?" Matt asked, walking into my cabin while I was lying in bed listening to music.

"No."That was all I said. I was still angry about what he'd said before, and honestly, I didn't think I felt the same way about him that I did months ago. It just took me a while to figure that out.

"Good." Matt sat on the edge of my bed. "Can you not... do that again?" He waved a hand like my feelings were an inconvenience to him. "Like, it was just annoying to come see you and you were all depressed or whatever."

"I wasn't depressed," I said quickly, taking out my headphones.

"Yeah, anyway—" Matt leaned in toward me, eyes already closing.

I shifted away, and he opened his eyes, annoyed.

"What?! I thought you said you weren't sad anymore."

"That doesn't mean I want to kiss you right now, Matt."

"Don't be such a party pooper," he groaned. I thought I could smell a faint trace of wine on his breath.He moved closer again, this time grabbing my face harshly and trying to pull me toward him.

I shot up to my feet, shocked that even he would do that.

Oh gods. I could feel myself getting angry. I hated being mean to people, but this—

"Matt, I set a boundary. Please follow it."

"Boundary?!" Matt laughed. "What are we in, third grade?"

I clenched my fists, trying to breathe, trying not to snap.

Matt stood too, grabbing at my shirt, trying to pull it off of me.

"No!" I yelled, prying his hands off. When I finally got him off, I shoved him away without thinking. He stumbled back into the wall.

"What the fuck?!" he screamed. My stomach dropped with panic, but I refused to show it.

"We're done," I said finally.

Matt's eyes flooded with rage."We? There is no 'we,' Will. I just felt bad for you. I never liked you. And I'm definitely not a fag like you!"

The word hit harder than any shove. I blinked fast, trying to keep the tears from falling. I couldn't believe I ever liked him.

"Do not," I said, my voice sharp and cold in a way I'd never heard before, "call me that."

Then I walked out of my cabin, slamming the door behind me.Part of me hoped one of my siblings had heard him and would absolutely destroy him for it.

But I couldn't stay there another second.I needed to find Nico.To apologize.To fix our friendship before anything got worse.

"fag" is a highly offensive and derogatory slur for a gay man or a person who does not conform to traditional masculine stereotypes. It is considered hate speech by many and is widely perceived as an insulting, contemptuous term. Please do not use this term ever, or call someone it, it's a horrible word, and Matt has every right to be thrown into Tartarus for using it.

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