Epilogue

*Brooklyn's POV*Ever heard of those fairytale, happy endings? Well those are all written up by creative minds, perfected and edited to suit everyone's desire for a perfect closure, and are fed to us all, screwing up our image of what actually happens in real life.

It's been a year since I've last spoken to Payton, or 'cheated' on her, and from what I've heard, she's been in LA that whole time, consuming herself in work.

Not a fucking day goes by when I don't think about her and what I've done. But she's probably over it now, and she's probably happy, which is making me understand why I've had to suffer through all of this. Because as long as she's happy, I'd even live through the guilt, and hurt I went through this past year, all again.

Alicia kept to her word and didn't screw with Payton's life anymore. Glad to know that something good came of this, and that was what I was after all along.

I kept myself busy with football though, and ever since Payton was kicked off, I won't be the first to admit that the team hasn't been the same. We aren't as good, and don't function as a real team anymore. I don't see how we managed without her for so long, but I'm stating to see how horrible we actually were now that she's gone.

None of the guys really talk to me much anymore since they've all found out about what happened between Payton and I. To be honest, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with me either..

A few months back, my mom had set me up with a family friend's daughter because I wouldn't stop sulking about what happened between me and Payton, and she wanted to cheer me up. Cadence and I have been dating since then, but I never really loved her. It's more for publicity, and so my parents would get off my back about feeling bad all the time.

And now we're here.

I had just gotten out of football practice, and was in dire need of hard caffeine.

I drove to the Starbucks a couple blocks down, and on the way, I was already thinking of what I would order.

Stepping inside, the smell of freshly ground coffee hit me, just as the glass paneled door swung closed behind me.

Getting in line, I decide on my order, and step up as the person in front of me leaves after giving their order.

"What can I get you today?" The barista asks, having a black sharpie in hand, at the ready.

"4 shots espresso, 4 pumps white chocolate syrup over ice in a grande cup."

I pay, and go wait in the cue for the drinks.

"Still a diehard caffeine addict, huh?" I hear a voice that I didn't think I would ever hear again.

I turn around, and standing there, perfect as ever, is Payton Foster. What is she doing back in London? I thought that she was working in LA? She offers a weak smile, and I return one.

"Yeah.. Haven't changed much really," I looked down at the ground. We made small talk here and there, and everything was going good for the most part.

Some silence filled out conversation, but was soon broken by Payton speaking up.

"Can I ask you something? It's been nearly a year now, and I can't stop thinking about it every time I go to sleep." She sighed.

"Yeah?" I asked worried at what she might say. Even though Alicia stopped tormenting Payton, doesn't mean that she wouldn't start again once I break our deal, even though the damage was done.

"I guess I just don't understand how you could wake up one morning and decide you don't care anymore. Was I not worth an explanation? A text? A phone call? I would've taken some shitty excuse over nothing. I really don't get it. You knew how long it took me to trust you again, why would you ruin that? Was I not even worth a goodbye?" She said, hurt obviously expressed on her face as I dared look up. I saw tears pooling in her eyes, and I looked away before I could break down myself.

Why did things have to get so complicated? How could I hurt someone as precious as Payton?

I couldn't bring myself to say anything, knowing that if I did, I would end up telling her everything, and that would bring us back to where we were a year ago, all this time wasted, and feelings broken.

She looked for any sign of feelings on me, but I hid them as best I could, for being such an emotional wreck seeing her after all this time. All the feelings flooded back to me all at once; the guilt I had, the hurt I felt when I hurt her so badly, completely crushing her trust, and the love I felt towards her.

"You know, I never believed people when they told me how much it hurt to get your heart broken. Until it was me, lying on the floor, night after night, crying for hours. So don't you dare say you've never killed anyone, because that night you killed me." She said lastly before grabbing her drink and walking out the door, disappearing out of my life like the complete strangers I guess we've become.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~Key:BrooklynPayton-----------I saw her today.I saw him today.

It's been forever in my mind, but only a year in reality.I wonder if he still cares, even in the least bit.

I asked her how things were going.I asked about his new girlfriend, ignoring the crushing feeling I felt in my chest as I did.

I'd still take Payton over any girl I'm with.He's probably really happy, considering I wasn't enough for him, maybe he found a girl that is.

I can't even look at her without crying.He couldn't even look at me.

I told her I miss her, and how sorry I am.He didn't mean it. If he did, he would've told me that a year ago.

I meant it. I wanted to tell her since it all happened, but it was all for the best, I guess.He didn't mean it.

A year gone by, and I still love her just like I did 359 days ago. Yes I count. I count the number of days I've had to live without her. Depressing, I know..He loves his new girlfriend. The one who's actually enough for him. Because let's face it, my best wasn't even enough.

Then I went home and cried.I went home and cried after that.

I lost her.As much as he hurt me, and all the insufferable pain I've went through over the last year, there's something fucking wrong with me. Something really screwed up in my head, that I can't even begin to explain to myself, but I'm sure I feel it.

I still love him, and I really, really shouldn't.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~Ooooohhhhhhmygawd.

My first book is completed, this is crazy. Thank you all so much for your support throughout my sucky writing, I really did and still do appreciate all of those lovely comments encouraging me to write!

Thank you all so much again!

Let me know what you guys thought of this book too, I'd love to hear it! Comment here(; >>>>>

Also, I have 2 other books out now, 'Bad meets worse' and 'Fight For Me' and in my opinion my writing and plot's improved a lot in those so it'd mean a lot to me if you go and check them out!

Xxxoooooxxoxo ily guys so fm, Madiso ❤️