Chapter 72

*Payton's POV*I pushed through the crowd, feeling completely shattered on the inside. How could he say he loved me, and just go off and do what he did again?

Was it my fault forgiving him all of those times? Did I do this to myself?

I found a bathroom, surprisingly unoccupied, and shut the door behind me. I looked back at my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks are stained with the tears I didn't know I let out, my eyes dull, and I overall looked broken from the outside.

I just don't fucking get it. Was I not enough for him to just go off and kiss someone without caring about hurting me? I'm not hurt from him kissing that girl, I'm hurt that he did it so easily.

Tears flood my face as I lean back against the wall and slide down to the ground, letting my knees hug my chest as I let my crying take over, growing stronger into sobs as my thoughts consume me, and I'm soon left finding myself gasping for air.

The door swings open, and I look up, wiping away any tears I had found on my burning cheeks.

"Oh, I'm sorry the door was--Payton What happened?" Mason walks over to where I'm sitting at the wall, and sits down next to me. What's he doing here?

"N-nothing, I just needed a cry session. All good," I managed a smile, wiping away my still-falling tears from my face.

"Don't play me like that, you're not fine, now talk," he says, taking hold of my hands.

I take a deep breath in, attempting to compose myself so I don't burst out crying again. "B-brooklyn was kissing another girl when I went to go look for him after he disappeared for drinks. I don't get how he could just love me one minute, then go and kiss someone else the next. Did I really not mean anything to him?" I run my hands through my hair, pushing it out of my face, trying to steady my frantic breathing.

"He what? Where'd you say he was again?" Mason said through gritted teeth, standing up with his fists clenched at his sides.

"Sit down before you do something stupid." I sighed, tugging him back down by his wrist. "No fighting anyone tonight, promise me."

"Promise.." He mumbles. "If it makes you feel any better, I've been cheated on before. Fucking sucks." He says, tracing circles on my palm, trying to calm or distract me, or both, even.

"It just hurts, that's all." I said, my voice cracking. I felt my face drenched with tears again, as Mason just pulled me into a tight hug. "How could he have done it so easily? Was that other girl better than me somehow? Because I was just a few feet away, and he didn't even drink at all. He chose to cheat. I thought things were good between us," I close my eyes, letting my tears all fall freely.

"Don't say that, Princess. He's the biggest fucking idiot for not seeing what he had, and he didn't deserve you or your tears right now," he pulls me out of our hug, keeping his hands on my shoulders to force me to look at him. He wipes some falling tears with his thumb, and I give him a weak smile, unable to form any words in my mess of a mind right now. "Do you want me to take you home?" He asks. I nod my head, and he stands up, offering a hand for me to take.

I get up with the help of Mason, thank god because I honestly don't know if I had the strength in me to actually get up myself. Crying so hard really takes it out of you. I've been in the bathroom by myself for a good half hour maybe, then Mason came in, and that was probably a good 15 minutes.

We push past the crowd, and are now outside, the cold night air hitting my wet cheeks, making me shiver in place. We managed to avoid Brooklyn or any of the guys, so that was a good thing, because I certainly didn't feel like explaining my state to anyone right now.

He opens the passenger door for me as I climb into his sleek blacked out Aston Martin. I smile a thanks, and he rounds the car to get to the driver's seat. I explain directions, and he drives off looking confused, which is probably because I'm still having trouble with my words from all the crying I've been doing, and I honestly don't even know how I get myself home every day.

Let's stick to pointing left and right at turns for now then.

"Y-you said you've b-been cheated on? If it's alright that I ask.." I bite my lip, heaving a small sigh.

"It's fine, my best friend and girlfriend slept together after we were together for a year and a half," he says without any expression.

"I'm sorry, that must've been horrible considering you were together for so long. I probably seem like a fucking drama queen compared to you," I let out a weak laugh, the best I could manage when my heart feels like its been hit with a hammer 54 times.

"Cheating's cheating. Doesn't matter how long you were together for, you obviously loved him since you were just crying so hard. You wouldn't of been crying if you didn't care about him. That's what sucks though, you can't help but care when you want to forget everything." He pulls up to a stoplight, and I look out the window at the city lights in the distance, and the busy London roads surrounding.

"I didn't think you were the type to settle down," I said honestly, looking back over at him to hear him chuckling.

"I was before.. I'm not gonna lie to you Payton, it really changes you. You find yourself not trusting anyone anymore, no matter how close you are with them. There's just a part of the feeling that always stays with you."

I thought about what he said for a while, and as he drove off as the light turned green, I spoke up. "How did you forget about it?"

He sighs, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. "Move on with your life. Realize that it's not your fault, because the what if's and the should have's will eat your brain. Focus on the more important things in your life and you'll find yourself forgetting about it. Not forever, because it'll always cross your mind sometimes. Boxing was what I focused on.. I really got into it after it happened, and I didn't think about it as much." He explained, and I pointed left, indicating to turn left at this street.

"Well I somehow got kicked off the football team, so that's not an option for me.. Maybe I'll just consume myself with work like I always did when my life sucked." I thought out loud.

"You do that, and try your best to forget that asshole, will you? And if you need some help, I'm always up for vandalizing something, you know where to find me," he winks, pulling up in my long driveway.

"Thanks. Really. See, I told you! If you put away the cocky, annoying attitude, you're actually barely tolerable," I laughed lightly.

"Yeah, whatever," he rolls his eyes playfully, with a small smile on his face.

I pull him into a hug once again. "But seriously, thank you. I'd probably still be an emotional mess at that party if it weren't for you," I say, offering up a small smile as I release out of the hug.

"Well you can always count on me to not knock before entering a room, horrible habit actually," he shudders and I laugh once more. "I'll see you around at the gym then?" He asks while I unbuckle my seatbelt and get out of the car.

"You just might," I smile. "Night, fuckboy," I laugh.

"Good night, Princess," he smirks with a wink, and I shut the door and head towards my house. Realizing I don't have my keys with me, I ring the doorbell, hoping that someone was home.

A few seconds pass, and Sean opens the door, and I see Matt and Kaden standing behind him.

"Are you okay?" He asks, giving me a sympathetic look.

"I'm fine?" I ask, wondering what he was talking about. How could he have known, or did I just look so distraught that you could instantly tell that I've been crying for an hour prior to coming here.

"Ben texted me saying that he saw that Brooklyn was kissing some girl that wasn't you, we came back thinking you'd already be here," he explains as I step inside, barely keeping myself warm outside in the cold weather, and the lack of jacket I had on.

"I'm fantastic," I smile sarcastically, heading into the kitchen, and pulling a Jack Daniels bottle out of a decorative vase on the side counter. I hid it in here a while back, and it was sort of Sean and I's secret stash, since our parents would notice any liquor missing from their collection downstairs in the cellar. "Now if you'll all excuse me, I'm gonna go drink half of this and sleep it all off in hopes of not remembering tonight's events," I say, setting my bag down on the counter, just before Kaden grabs the bottle from me.

"Pay, you need sleep, not whiskey." He gives me a stern look, but I can tell he really does care.

"Have any of you been cheated on before?" I asked, and they stayed silent. "So none of you know how it feels. I'm not mad at him anymore, I'm more mad at myself because I let it keep happening to me to where I'm at the point right now where I can say I'm used to it and that I'll stop crying by tomorrow. And every time it happens, you're the only one to blame, and you feel more and more worthless because you start to wonder if you just weren't good enough, and what you could've done for things to go differently. Now please just let me go sulk it all off tonight, I'll be perfectly fine by tomorrow."

"I'm not letting you drink any of this tonight, please just go get some sleep, you'll need it," Sean says, taking the bottle from Kaden and putting it back in the vase, back into its rightful hiding spot.

"Fine, mother," I roll my eyes and trudge my way up the three flights of stairs I have to go up to reach my room.

Finally getting there, I flick on the lights and walk into my bathroom to take my makeup off, brush my teeth, and braid my hair. Walking into my room, I look through my drawers for something to sleep in.

Normally I'd wear one of Brooklyn's hoodies or soccer shirts, paired with his sweatpants or one of my Nike Pro shorts. But instead, I just grabbed an empty Chanel bag, and stuffed all of his clothes into there, Polaroids we'd taken together that were always found on top of my dresser, and the stuffed animals he won me every time we'd go to the fair.

Setting the bag down for Sean or one of the guys to give it to Brooklyn later, I hear a knock on the door.

"Come in," I say, and Kaden opens the door slowly, then all at once.

"Hey. I wanted to know how you really were," he says, as we both sit down on the edge of my bed.

"I'm upset of course, and a part of me just wants to cry it all out, but no tears are coming." I sigh.

"Well he's an idiot, really. Who has you, and loses you just like that? At least Alicia hasn't done anything today.." He says.

"Oh yeah, can't wait to see what part of my life she'll decide to ruin tomorrow," I say, my voice drenched in sarcasm.

"It'll be okay, Pappy, I promise. Maybe not tomorrow, but it'll all be done with soon." He hugs me, wrapping his arms tightly around me, and kissing my forehead lightly. "And here," he says, taking off his hoodie. "Figured you wouldn't wanna sleep in any of his sweatshirts," he smiles.

"Thanks," I smile a genuine smile, something I haven't been able to do all day.

"Good night, Pay," he says before heading towards the door.

"Good night," I say before he leaves, shutting the door behind him. I change into his hoodie and some shorts, and fall fast asleep, wondering what went so wrong.