Chapter 34

A/N: This may or may not be the last chapter. Let's go find out.

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The words escaped his mouth before he can think. 'Forth?'

'So that's his name..Forth..' his Pa sounded like he was told something he didn't already know, and in all fairness, it was pretty convincing.

Beam snapped his head so fast he could have given himself a whiplash. 'Wha — Oh..Umm..'

He swallowed hard and blinked several times, he couldn't find the right words to say especially when his mind was making so much talking..

This is it. He's going to tell me to transfer to another school in another city in another country maybe in another planet and tell me to never contact any of my friends again..he's going to make me marry for business purposes too and oh shit! What about Forth?!  I'm going to break his heart again and —

'Why don't you bring him here sometime..' His Pa said but it sounded like he was telling — no scratch that — commanding him. 'Your friends, i mean.'

'What?' Beam blinked dumbly again.

His Pa sipped coffee and stood up. Beam didn't notice he was dressed for a meeting.

'I would like to meet your new friends..' he sipped coffee one last time and glanced at his wrist watch. 'I'm sorry Beam, I can't stay with you all day today..' he sighed. '..Some meetings can't be rescheduled..' Beam flinched in the slightest when his Pa kissed the top of his head. 'Rest well. I'll see you later.'

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'When are you coming back to the Uni?' His Dad asks without looking up, flipping through a thick folder on his table at the study room. He came home a little earlier than usual but still had work brought in with him.

Beam, who was sprawled on a swivel chair was using the tip of his toes to move the chair aimlessly, looked at his Dad.

Now there was something to talk about.

'Tomorrow afternoon i guess. We have advanced lab works.' He said as he pushed his toes to the floor hard enough that his chair was sent swiveling two complete rotations. (If Forth was here, he would have spun the chair harder and faster just to annoy him and would repeat it countless time until he can't stand properly anymore.) He's thinking of Forth again.

His Pa looked at him from the top rim of his glasses that rested at tip of his nose and smirked. Beam was always fidgety when something is on his mind and don't know how to make it into words.

Pa set down the pen, rested both his elbows on the table and interlocked his fingers, the way he always did when he's on a meeting or thinking hard. He looked at Beam and pursed his lips.

'Something is on your mind.' He removed the spectacles perched on his nose and placed it on the table. 'What is it?'

Beam sighed. 'I went to Mom's grave this morning after you left and..' he trailed off, debating in his mind if his Pa knows something he didn't know yet.

'So i was told..' Pa said nonchalantly. 'Did you see her? She always visited your Mae after her grave was built there.' Maybe this is no longer the time to be secretive to Beam.

So his Pa knows.

Now there's one more thing Beam wanted to know about her. But..would he really wanna know?

'Is she...my sister?' He bit his lip.

His Pa smiled. 'Your Mae treated her as her own. But she's not your sister. Not by blood at least.'

Was it a relief? Beam didn't know what to feel. But he managed to speak with a forced smile. 'Oh. Okay..'

'Have you seen her before? Do you know her?' Pa picked up his glasses again and then his pen and resumed making notes on the side of the paper.

Beam internally rolled his eyes. Of course i know her. I used to hate her. She once tried to steal my boyfriend, you know.

But Beam didn't know what to say so he just nodded meekly. 'Mm. She used to go to my Uni.'

Who would have thought that the girl he used to dislike was the daughter of the man his Mae left him for. The confusion over Auntie Jade's words were clear now.

'He had a daughter..the last time i saw her was at the funeral in the care of..'

Auntie Jade met his Mae before she died, that's why she asked if they've met before because Beam acquired his Mae's feminine look. Because the son she treated like her own was the same man his Mae left them for. He was Lin's father.

Auntie Jade figured it out when she zoned out that day. Maybe she was going to tell him but didn't have the heart to do it. Maybe because it was not her place to tell him or maybe because Forth arrived just as she was going to tell him.

And that's why Lin left the Uni. Because she finally learned who Beam was. Beam was supposed to hate her more now. Because she was the daughter of that man. But he couldn't. Because she already said what Beam wanted to hear all those years. And because he was tired hating everything and everyone, especially himself.

'I guess i liked him for the wrong reasons. I saw my dad in P'Forth and i missed him and i guess i wanted him back. I grew up with a whole family and i thought if i had P'Forth, that would happen to me someday. But I didn't realize you were deprived of those things when you were growing up and when i learned who you were i couldn't face both of you and i had to leave school. I don't belong there because i will only feel guilty when i see you. Your Mae got cancer because she worked hard despite having a weak system. P'Beam, I'm sorry my dad took your mom away. Im sorry because i tried to steal P'Forth. I'm sorry because your mom died..'

'It's okay now, Lin. I'm not mad at you. I'm okay now.'

'I'm sorry because i keep stealing people from you. Hating me will be understandable.'

'It's not my fault, it's your fault either. But thank you for apologizing anyway. And I'm too tired of hating myself and everything around me all those years to even hate you now.'

After all those things, Beam can breathe properly now, it was like all the weight of all those thoughts had been lifted off of him. And damn it feels good!

His mother left because his father let her go. She got cancer because she refused help from his Pa because to her, letting her go was the biggest help she can ever allow.

He got lied to and he was hurt, and that hurt disguised itself as hate and that hate festered inside him and it destroyed him and his feelings.

And she died without knowing that he forgave her and again he was hurt and that hurt became guilt and resentment towards everything around him, including himself.

Then Forth came. And everything changed when he found solace in Forth's family. Everything changed when Forth showed him how forgiveness works when Forth forgave him over and over and over when he screwed up because he learned that sometimes people make bad decisions out of love or madness or something entirely different and still they deserve second chances and sometimes even those chances turn to endless second chances. And Forth forgave him because he loves him, and he wasn't scared to admit that again and again.

He's okay now because he knew now that a simple act of forgiveness can change everything. And it did change everything.

Beam suddenly felt more at home now than when he first arrived about forty eight hours ago. And when he look around, all he can remember now is the happy memories of this house. Even with the bad memories, it still feel like home because those memories were part of the struggle.

Maybe that's why his Pa rarely leaves the office early. Because this house feels too empty.

With a smile on his face, he swivels the chair again with his toe and his Pa looked at him.

'Isn't it my turn to ask now?' He said.

Beam's smile turned to curiosity. 'What do you wanna know?'

'Hmm..let's talk about him.'

And now confusion. 'Who?'

'Him. That engineering boy you're always with.'

And now bewilderment. 'Wha — how did you —

His Pa's smile became a faint grin and Beam gasped when he figured it out. 'Wha — was i being followed?!'

Pa turned back to signing papers, with a smile on his usually serious face.

'I can't believe you!' He didn't know whether he'll be mad or..

'You're my only son, i have to know at least half of what's happening to you while you're away.' Pa said matter of fact, with no hint of anger or dissapointment. 'Besides, you don't return my calls, son.'

Oh right. Beam was ignoring him from the very start since he left for the University. He was a busy man and he has money to pay for detective works so it must have been his last resort.

'I'm sorry.' Beam mumbled, almost to himself.

'It's alright, son.' Pa smiles.

'You know, he's not that bad..' Pa said after a moment of silence, of him making notes and Beam being fidgety on his swivel chair.

'Ask something else, Pa.' Beam tried to hide the faintest tinge of pink on his ears and neck. He turned his chair around so his Pa doesn't see his smile.

Pa smirked but didn't say anything more after that. But Beam did. He took a deep breath, spun his chair again and faced him. 'How is it..okay with you..I mean..is it okay with you?'

Pa raised his head from reading and looked up at him. 'What? Why wouldn't it be?' He frowns.

'Because..i don't know..' He shrugs exaggeratedly as if stating the obvious. 'Most people don't like what they don't understand..' he said in almost a whisper. 'What i have is...different. It won't make sense to others that a man is with another man. I know it's not an unusual thing anymore but — just — ugh! —whatever..' He couldn't dare to look at his Pa now, not after the babbling, so he fumbles with a loose thread on the hem of his shirt, completely forgetting that it was Forth's. Maybe Pa will just get his point, he's a smart man.

'Well. I have to tell you now that i didn't like it..because as you said it was different..actually, i still don't like it.' Beam visibly flinched at this. Maybe he was right after all, maybe Pa doesn't want him to go back to the Uni anymore.

His cheeks and the skin around his eyes felt warm now, not because he was blushing, but because he's trying to suppress the tears and the thought that he couldn't understand at the moment because his ears was buzzing.

But Pa cleared his throat and sighed before continuing. '..but things only look different depending on where you choose to stand.'

At this, Beam looked wide eyed at his Pa. His blurry eyes prickled with tears daring to fall. '..What i think about your preference is not important as long as it makes you hap — wait, does he make you happy?'

Beam let a tear escape from his eyes before he nods while wiping it away with the back of his hand.

'Then i don't have any reason to forbid you from doing what you want.' His voice was softer now. 'You know, people look at other things and other people differently all the time and that's okay because that's their own opinion. But remember that choosing to be different doesn't mean choosing to be wrong. If it makes you happy — if he makes you happy then it doesn't have to make sense to others, even me. I'm choosing to stand with you because your happiness is more important to me than my own opinion. Or anyone else's opinion. I'm choosing to see things the way you see them because no matter what, you're my son.'

Beam sniffled and blinked and managed to say a weak: 'Really?'

'Really.' Pa nods. 'I'm not most people. I'm also not others. I'm your father. Stop crying.'

'Okay.' he nods. If Forth was here, Beam would have jumped on his lap and cried his heart out because of this conversation. But maybe he'll do that when he comes back. Actually, he can't wait to do that when he comes back.

'But I'll only say this once.' Pa's stern voice rang in his ears again. '..I'm not going to accept him just like that. I still can't grasp this whole idea but I'm willing to try, for you. I need time. So bring him here when you have the time. Okay?'

'Okay..'

'Even if the Jatuphooms are of good reputation, he will still need to work for my approval.' Pa said smirking.

He would have known this was going to happen. Pa was being too overprotective that he had to send people to find out Forth's family background. What's new?

'You — oh my god of course you did!' Be sighed in exasperation but he was smiling now, even if there are tears rolling down his cheeks, and even if what his Pa did was a little too over the top.

He walked over to Pa's table, hugged him and said thank you. And then he went back to his room to lazily collapse on his bed. He thought of calling Forth but it was already late and he was probably asleep now. So he stared at his phone debating whether to disturb him at this time of the night just to tell him everything or  just do it tomorrow.

He fell asleep still debating whether he'd call him. He didn't end up calling him.

He missed these kind of late night conversations with his Pa. He couldn't even remember the last thing they talked about before everything went spiraling into this giant mess. But he was glad that it's back. He was glad to be back.

***************A/N: I'm not going to end the book here. So there's one last chapter. And and epilogue. I promise it's the last.😂😂

Bruh i really need to let this story go so what do you guys think about one shots? I'll accept requests but please don't pressure me.

Vote and Comment are highly appreciated! Thanks!