Chapter 29

A/N: Sorry for late update of my three fics. I struggled. Emotionally.

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Is it happening?Oh shit it's really happening!

Thoughts from last night echoed through his mind.

Forth wakes.

His bleary eyes zeroing on the sleeping figure beside him, still sleeping soundly, tired from last night's episode.

It happened.It actually happened.

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand trying to clear his eyes of the remaining sleepiness then stared comfortably on the person beside him.

Forth loved how Beam was always facing him whenever he would wake up every morning or in their afternoon naps when school work didn't get in the way.  How his lips were slightly parted and his breathings were even, how his long eyelashes would cast little shadows across his cheeks from his vantage point, how his hair would get messy and fall on his face and whenever he stirred one of his limbs would land squarely on Forth's chest and abdomen jerking him awake. And he will frown from irritation of being jolted awake but will kiss him lightly and fall back to sleep anyway.

But this. This morning was different. Forth wakes with a slight pang of...uncertainty? At this moment he was unsure of how he really feels — not about Beam though. He was sure about that.

But Forth was unsure of whether he was happy that it happened..because he was supposed to be happy right? So why wasn't he?

But why did he feel that the reason it happened was because of the wrong reasons? Why did Beam suddenly wanted a distraction? Distraction from what? They were fine the day before. What did Beam suddenly remember that made him scared? Or paranoid?

Whatever it is, he will try to find out. Hopefully Beam doesn't get the wrong idea.

He carefully gets out of bed and tried not to wake Beam. Remnants of last nights memories flooded through his mind as he sees the cans of beers scattered on the floor. Forth picked up their clothes from the floor started cleaning and made the room look as if nothing happened the night before.

He took a quick trip downstairs for breakfast and pain meds for Beam because he was sure he would be complaining endlessly all day of the pain all over his body when he wakes up. (Did they it raw. He was unprepared.)

Beam was already awake and curled into ball when he came back, worry evidently painted on his face.

"Hey beautiful." He greets as he layed the breakfast on the table and walked towards the bed.

"I thought you left." Forth sat down at the edge of the bed, Beam curled beside him.

"I did. I came down to get breakfast and meds. Are you feeling better?"

"Sorry." His small voice spoke and Forth frowned from confusion and curiosity.

"For what?"

"Because i used you?...last night.."

"Oh. You remember.." Forth mused. He was half expecting Beam to not remember anything since he was intoxicated.

"How can i forget..things like that.." Beam didn't meet his stare from embarrassment.

"Are you regretting that it happened?"

"No!" They were both startled of Beam's sudden outburst. "I mean...do you..do you regret it?"

"Of course not." Forth stated almost incredulously not expecting Beam to ask such a question. "If you don't regret it then you don't have to say sorry. Why are you even apologizing anyway?"

"Just..i acted out of impulse and..used you?" Beam made a face when he said used again.

"Okay if you say you used me one more time I'm going to get mad. I feel used already." Forth tried to make the situation feel a little lighter but Beam looked guilty. "Hey I'm just kidding...but..i want to know why you were not yourself last night. What's the problem? You really caught me off guard there."

After a long silence, Beam spoke, his hands and voice both trembling.

"Yesterday was... Mae's birthday. It..er..made me remember things i regret..and i was frustrated because i don't have the slightest courage to go to her grave and..Ugh!" Beam covered his face with both his hands and Forth now understands. "it was all i thought about yesterday...i can't face her. Even if it's just the grave. I can't.."

"Now i get it." Forth rubs his back trying to console his teary eyed boyfriend. "I was going to keep on asking you if you don't tell me but I'm happy you did. You don't have to be sorry. We both wanted it. I was just uncertain of the reason why you took initiative, i thought i was pressuring you."

"You weren't pressuring me. I'm just a horrible person." says a muffled voice from under the covers which Beam hid himself to because he can't look at Forth, not right now. "Why do you even love me.."

Just like other times when Beam would lose himself in grey clouds, he would ask questions which aren't really questions, just his thoughts. And Forth would always answer them even when Beam didn't seem to expect answers.

"Because.." he pretends to think for a moment. Beam was listening from under the covers. "i'll never get tired of looking at you.

Because..you make me happy.. And i know i make you happy too."

And everytime we kiss..i still have those little butterflies i felt when i first realized how beautiful you are.. I thought those feelings were just exaggerated by those who tell stories of butterflies but i guess they were true. and i can find a lot more reasons..and honestly the list could go on forever but i think you get what i mean. I love you, and even when i don't know the reasons, i will love you anyway."

Then slowly, Beam lowered the covers from his face and looked at Forth who was still in a daze..

"You.." he sniffs "you feel...butterflies?" he asks and his voice was laced with a pinch of amazement and teasing, the doubt simmering inside him evaporated as quickly as it had risen.

All the sappy things i said before and that's the only thing he remembers. Forth thought bitterly, and was expecting a teasing.

"No." He retorts but Beam already saw the flush of pink coloring across his tanned cheek.

"But i heard you.." at this moment Beam was refraining himself from grinning. His worries melting away like always when Forth would say sappy things to distract him. "you said butterfl—"

"Okay! Okay! I already said it." he tries to look the other way to hide his face from Beam. "I'm starting to sound like Ai'Pha and 'Mark. Eurgh! Those sappy lovesick idiots." he grumbles.

Beam sniffles before he giggles and then grimaced. "Ow! shit!" He regretted giggling as it made him remember that he was in pain at the moment.

"Are you okay?" Now the problem was slightly discussed and momentarily forgotten as Forth was suddenly reminded that his boyfriend was in a lot of pain.

"Do i look like I'm okay?... You were so rough last night!" he added the last phrase in almost a whisper as he was trying to sit up but failed bitterly as a sharp pain shot across his lower back.

"But you said i should go fast—"

"Ahhhh!!! I don't want to hear it!" He yelled and shook his head and the pain was back again but yelling at Forth was all he could do right now.

Forth chuckles. "You want me to help you take a shower?"

"No!" he scoffed. "I can manage!" and imaginations of what might actually happen in the shower (aside from taking baths, of course) floods his mind.

"What are you even trying to hide..i already saw everyth—

"I said i don't want to hear it!" Beam retorts back.

"Okaay~." Forth sing songed while he tried to hide his smug face. "I'll prepare your breakfast and clothes..." and this was probably a stupid question but he had to ask (not for the sake of teasing, promise.) "err... are you going to class today?" Now he is having a good time teasing Beam since he knows Beam can't chase him around to kick him and can only say useless threats.

Beam scowled and Forth could swear he saw steam rising out of his boyfriend's ears.

"In this situation? What are you? Blind?"

Forth bit his lips hard trying to suppress an oncoming grin, he let Beam, who was clearly incapable of moving on his own as he prepared their breakfast and painkillers. He would steal glances at him and smirk as he knows Beam can't take care of himself right now.

After about five minutes of Beam struggling and Forth trying not to laugh..

"Forth." says Beam who looked defeated like he was going to regret what he was about to say.

"Yeeees babe?~" Forth grins. "You can't take a shower on your own, no?"

Beam bit his lip and nodded, clearly defeated.

"Thought so. You want me to help?" Forth tilted his head and a smile of victory was drawn on his handsome face.

"But no funny business! Or i swear i'll—" Beam recites his usual threats and Forth was suddenly in front of him. And then let out an "Ow! Be gentle, you buffalo!" when Forth picked him up in a bridal manner and walked towards the shower.

"But babe, you don't like gentle — Ow! Ow! Okay I'll stop!" Forth giggled when Beam pinched his arm (with all his might) and glowered at him. That was going to leave a mark but it was worth the teasing. "Beam, if you don't let go I'm going to drop you."

Forth gently lowered Beam on the tub and locked the door.

A/N: (And it's up to all of us to guess what happened. Sky is the limit. *winks*)

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Beam was watching a movie on his laptop before Forth left him for class this morning.

Forth informed Pha and Kit that Beam can't go to class right now because of....some reasons but Forth had two classes in the morning and he had to attend todays classes if he wanted those extra credits his professor talked to him about.

Lam looked up from the book he was taking notes on as Forth was walking towards them, a big smile pasted on his face and Lam could almost see the little animated hearts flying around his head.

He raised his brows as he and Mark's eyes met, both clueless why their usually frowning friend looks high of some kind of drug. Art looked up from his book to acknowledge his friends arrival and then went back to reading.

Forth purposely dropped the book on the table with a thud and now all his friends —  Lam, Art, Mark and his girlfriend Jan was all looking at him with the same inquisitive stare.

"Wow." Lam started. "You look..." he thinks of a proper word to say or else that smile might leave his friend's face, freshly fucked was on the tip of his tongue but he thought better of it, for his own safety. "...fresh."

Forth frowned but the curve of his lips stayed on his face.

"It's the pheromones." Art said flatly but didn't look up from his book. All eyes on him.

Lam mused. "Oh...i get it. He's in love."

Mark was not convinced. "He was always in love. Today is different." Jan nodded.

"So... He's in...lust?"

Guess i should'a kept my mouth shut, Lam thought bitterly as five pair of eyes turned to glare at him for his tactless mouth. He always had that uncanny ability to voice out what was already obvious which always got him into trouble.

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Forth turned down the volume of the car's music so Beam would hear him properly. He rested his hands on top of Beam's hand that was on his lap and the other guy turned to to look at him.

"It's going to be fine." He squeezed Beam's hand.

"I'm n-not nervous or anything." Beam retorts.

"Your hands are cold as ice." Forth says blandly, occasionally looking and giving him a reassuring smile before he turns to watch the road again. They decided to use Beam's car as they bought a bag of clothes each and some snacks that Beam thought Forth's Mae and sister would like. It was unnecessary to bring food because a party was to be held by the end of the day.

It wasn't a party where business was involved, the party was a family gathering because one of Forth's closest cousins who graduated from a different university had been accepted in a university abroad for further studies.

"Okay fine. I'm nervous. Wait. No. I'm scared."

Forth chuckles. "Eat something."

"How can i eat at a time like this?!" Beam sighed, clearly exasperated that Forth has been grinning at him for the past thirty minutes.

"That's why you should chew something." Forth explains. "When you're nervous about something, the best way to make it go away or at least put you at ease is to chew something, then your brain would be confused or forget about making you nervous because it would focus on chewing."

Beam stared at him with both brows raised and mouth slightly open. "You just made that up."

Forth laughed. "Just try it. And stop squirming."

Eyeing his boyfriend curiously, he slowly reached for the pack of gum placed on the dashboard and opened a small piece. "If this doesn't work I'm going to chew your head off."

Forth grins. "That's negotiable."

It got a little quiet after Beam had put the gum in his mouth. Almost three songs have played on the radio and Beam was still silently chewing the gum.

"You okay?"

"Huh? What?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Er..Fine."

"It worked didn't it?" Forth grinned widely.

"No. I'm still nervous."

"But at least you stopped squirming."

Beam rolls his eyes not wanting to admit that Forth had a point.

Forth steered the car towards the left and then a gate came into view. It was white and was about ten feet tall. It opened automatically when he honked the horn.

"Nice." Beam mused and Forth winked at him.

Inside the gate was a garden with two fountains on either side of the road leading to the house.

They drove past the house to the side and Forth parked the car near a greenhouse with a botanical garden inside which pretty much looks like an entire ecosystem altogether. Much farther from where they parked was another building which Beam figured was a barnhouse as he saw a small horse being led outside by a worker.

The house looked like it came from a magazine, it was big and white, just like the color of the gate outside. Walls of glass outnumbered walls of concrete which brightened the interior almost blindingly.

"It's so bright." Beam mumbles. "No wonder you're so tan." he snickered.

"I guess you're feeling better since you can  drop jokes now." Forth says flatly as he playfully elbowed Beam.

An old looking woman emerged from a door, which Beam noticed leads to the kitchen. She was wearing an apron with embroidered flowers of assorted colors. Now Beam knows who the greenhouse belongs to.

"Forth, my little prince! You're home!" the woman walked towards them and hugged Forth tightly whose face turned red after hearing his nickname.

Pfft. Little prince?

Beam almost choked trying not to break out laughing, setting aside his own nervousness momentarily.

I don't think you know but there's nothing little about him. He inwardly snickered.

"Who's your friend here?..I thought you were Lam dear, sorry my eyesight is failing me these days." the woman turned to him and Forth felt Beam tensed up.

"No Auntie, Lam has some things to do. This is Beam. He's a friend from the Uni. Beam, this is Auntie Jade."

Beam clasped his hands together then shyly greeted Auntie Jade who smiled at him. "You're so good looking dear," She glanced at Forth "..you pick good friends." to which Forth grinned while rubbing the back of his neck.

*

"You are staying for the night, yes?" Auntie Jade asked and Beam nods as they headed upstairs. She turned to Forth. "I will leave you to show him to the guest room." Forth made a sound in his throat as an effort not to show her that he didn't like the idea of Beam not sleeping with him in his room but Beam saw it in his face and he stuck his tongue out when Auntie Jade turned her back at them.

"Your Mae and Pa will be home soon. Your sister is also on her way. Your cousins are downstairs at the garden. Meet them after you settled, okay?"

"Er.. Okay Auntie."

She gave them a sweet smile before heading downstairs to resume what she was doing earlier.

"So..." Beam spoke with his usual teasing tone, he was now at ease since they were alone in the corridor leading to the rooms. Forth closed his eyes and silently prayed that he is wrong in guessing what Beam was about to say next:

"..little prince huh?"

***************To Be Continued.