Chapter 21

Third Person's POV:

"I'm okay. Just tired."

Beam breathed out. He wasn't in any mood to explain why he was down.

"I see." Forth knows he's lying.

The word tired is always what he uses as an excuse to make him not worry but it doesn't change anything. He's still worried.

"You want to eat? I brought dinner and snacks so we don't have to go downstairs when you're hungry."

"Maybe later. Thanks."

Beam was responding to him but he won't look at him.

He didn't look at him from the moment he entered the room and found him there sitting on the bed with his knees folded up to his chest. His eyes was staring outside the window.

Forth knew something was wrong the moment he didn't see Beam with his two best friends at the benches outside their building when he dropped by to the Med faculty to get Beam when his calls went unanswered.

The two guys told him their friend went ahead to get him at his faculty. He seemed happy about something, according to them.

He don't know what's wrong this time, in fact, he don't know whats wrong every time. He was always at ease when Beam would yell at him and smack him endlessly so he would always annoy the guy because in that way, he gets emotions out of him and he knows how to react. But at times like these he gets lost and loses confidence about himself.

"If you ever want to talk about it, you know I'm always here right?"

The answer he got was a hum and a nod.

"I need to call someone so i will step out for a while, i won't take long and i won't go far. Is that okay?"

"Okay."

He kissed the top of Beam's head and went outside with his phone and wallet.

He didn't go far. In fact, he was just down at the lobby, lounging in one of the couches there.

He goes outside whenever he feels that Beam needs his time alone. He was giving him time to breath. As much as he wanted to talk about things to him, he really don't want to pressure Beam.

If Beam won't talk to him, he need someone else to talk to.

He thought of calling Pha but decided not to since it's a bit late and he knows the guy is having his time with his Nong'Yo and would be disturbing them if he called and he would probably face his salty attitude.

Lam won't be of good use tonight as this guy is probably in a pub right now drowning himself in alcohol since their exams has just ended and he really don't want to go drinking right now.

There's one person he thought of that might help him.

He got his phone out and dialled.

"Oh. It's a rare thing for you to call me. You need anything?"

"Oyy! I call you when i miss you! Not just when i need anything!"

"Okay okay. So what's up?"

"Err...Remember the friend i talked to you about? Well...he's at it again."

"What happened?"

"I don't know. We were fine last night but this afternoon i didn't know what went wrong."

"Wow. Your boyfriend sounds like a piece of work -

"What? How did you -

"How did i what?! Oh please! You kept talking about him for months from the way he jokes around everyone and that one night when you carried him to his room and he was so light and everything. When you said you were just friends i never believed you for a minute."

"....."

"See? That's why i studied psychology because I'm so good at this!" She sounded proud of herself. Forth could only shake his head. "So let's talk about him, what's the matter?"

"I don't know. He's never told me."

"You mean you never asked?"

"I did. But he won't tell me. Sometimes he's sad for no reason and i get that, i really do. But right now i know there's a reason."

Distress was evident in his voice.

Sigh.

"You need to communicate with him. I'm not saying that you don't do that but since you are distressed right now i think you really don't talk to him about things that really matter."

Forth takes in what his older sister is saying.

"You say you understand him but how can you when you don't even have the slightest idea of what's happening inside his head? What i see here is that whenever he doesn't answer your questions you don't bother asking again because you're afraid he might get agitated with you and you can't stand that right? But...if you don't find out what's wrong right now, can you really say you get him? Isn't that like, lying to the both of you?"

"......"

"There will be more ups and downs for the both of you and they will be more hurtful and stressing than this and if you don't fix this right now how can you fix the future problems?...Communication Forth. That's all it takes."

"......"

"You still there?"

"Yep. Just taking in what you said."

"And did you get it?"

"Thinking."

"Oyy! When i give you advice, you better listen to me!... i don't give you advice just so you can sit there looking stupid!"

"I know. I'm just thinking when he will be ready to talk to me about this."

"You'll wait? Ask him now! If you wait till he's ready, or you're ready, you guys will be waiting for the rest of your lives. You don't want that right?! Go up there and talk!"

"Well, Thanks for your time listening. I think i better get up there."

He was about to stand up when..

"But...this isn't free you know."

"What?"

"Ha! You have to pay me."

"But I'm your brother!" Creases forms in his forehead. His older sister is no joke.

"I'll give you a discount then." Though he can't see her, the strong feeling that the person on the other line is having a wide grin plastered on her face flashes on his head.

"I don't believe this."

"Bye. - Oh by the way! Remember the family gathering we will be having? Bring him with you okay?!"

She sounded so sweet about this suggestion.

Then in a split second, her voice changed into a horror like tone. It was like he was talking to kidnapper asking for ransom.

"You can't enter the gates if you don't bring him. He's your ticket. You get that?!"

Sigh.

"Okay."

He ended the call after his sister reminded him about bringing Beam home for ten more times.

Honestly, he was reluctant to ask Beam to that family gathering, he don't even know how to start talking to Beam about them.

Their relationship might suffer from the silence coming from both of them and now there was another thing that he needs to talk to him about and he don't know where or how to start.

He considered to just not attend instead so he and Beam don't have to face his sister's interrogation but he figured there was no running away from everything. Especially from his sister.

*

A dark room, and the silent buzzing of the air-conditioning is what welcomed him when he twisted the knob and entered the room.

He almost thought that the room was empty because of the stillness of everything but the sleeping figure of a person on the bed made him think otherwise.

Beam has light complexion so he can be easily seen even with the lights turned off. He stands out.

His name suits him on many aspects.

Forth crouched near the bed to see if he was already asleep then he slowly slided himself on the bed and under the cover.

As he kept thinking of what his sister had told him earlier, he was also staring at Beam who had his back to him.

She's right. He can't pretend to understand Beam if he has no idea what runs in his mind every time. They will have to talk things out.

If you wait till he's ready you'll be waiting for the rest of your life.

Beam must have felt his presence as he stirred a little and faced him. His palms pressed together between his right cheek and the pillow, his eyes closed. Then slowly, he scooted towards the chest of the man who has been so patient with him that it hurt to see him affected every time he's down.

Out of habit, Forth placed his arms around Beam hugging him closer.

Both of them was awake, both of them also thinks that the other is asleep.

Forth stared off at the window as he calmly inhales the smell of Beam's hair. It was another part of his bodily scent that he love so much. It felt so calming that he often smells Beam's hair to make him fall asleep.

Beam stared off at the ceiling as he listened to Forth's calm heartbeat. He don't remember how many times he's used the sound of his calm heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

Seeing this man struggling to understand and be patient with him makes him believe even more so that he don't deserve such kind of person. For what he's done, he don't deserve anyone for that matter.

As for Forth, it stunned him that a person like him with so little patience has come a long long way in having to understand this other person who share the same type of paper thin patience. He knows in himself that he has very low tolerance when it came to waiting. But with Beam, it's like he could go on forever.

Beam burried his face to Forth's chest and Forth having thought that Beam was having a bad dream held him even tighter.

No words. No questions asked. Just the warmth of each other lulled them both to sleep.

*

"Good Morning." Beam snapped out of his thoughts as his lover's hoarse voice broke the silence.

It was early in the morning and he had been awake for more than half an hour. He had spent that amount of time in gazing at the sleeping figure lying on his right side facing him. He was deep in his thoughts and had not notice that the man he was staring at had already opened his eyes was now staring back at him.

"You feel better?"

It was one of those times when Forth would catch him doing that. Forth has gotten used to it.

"Uhmmn."

As they weren't lying far from each other, Beam moved and closed the little distance between them placing his arms around the other guy's waist burying his face to his chest and hugging him tight.

Forth's lips formed a smile of relief as he wrapped him in his arms. He's going to be okay, but worry does not leave his mind. Little by little, he will be back.

"Hmmn. What's this for?" He starts teasing him. "It's a rare thing for you to hug me when you're already awake."

Beam stuck his bottom lip out and attempting to remove his hug makes Forth giggle and hug him even tighter.

"Just kidding."

Sigh.

He moved his head up from Forth's chest and burried his face to the crook of his neck and shoulders instead.

"Thank you." He mumbles and his warm breath crawls over his chest.

"Huh? For what?"

"Just. I don't know. Everything?"

Forth chuckles.

"Well, whatever it is, you're welcome." He said, kissing the top of Beam's head.

He felt Beam smile through his collarbone.

"Beam."

He knew Beam opened his eyes as his long lashes brushed his neck which feels ticklish, but he's not complaining.

"Uhmm?"

"I love you."

"I know."

***************

To be continued...

A/N: Has anybody noticed that this is the first time one of them has said those three words? 🙊