Chapter 9

Pain.

Suffering.

Torture.

Sheer agony.

Those are the words I'd use to describe the horror that is morning sickness.

It's like a demon just takes over your body and rips your stomach to shreds.

This morning was no different.

I was rolling around, peacefully dreaming about some weird love story where a girl meets her future husband at some fish shack, when I subconsciously felt the heavy churning in my stomach.

My eyes shot open as I groggily tried to gauge my surroundings.

I rolled onto my side to check my phone for the time.

"Ugh, please just go away," I pleaded, turning on my side in an attempt to ignore the pain.

I curled up into a ball, praying that the feeling would just go away, but that was never the case with morning sickness.

In all honesty, I was exactly being truthful about everything to Seokjin. I felt like everything he had done for me was enough and so adding on the headache of catering to morning sickness, I just couldn't bear the thought of being a burden. Lately, some of the triggers for sickness for me was the smell and taste of cheese and fish. I couldn't stand it. So every time we happened to eat it or it happened to be placed in front of me, I'd run away to the bathroom for a while, vomit for like ten minutes, and then sit there for another fifteen because I felt so utterly weak, and then I'd come back and pretend that I was just peeing for a long time.

I didn't want to be so helpless. My whole adult life, I grew accustomed to my own hard work. The only way my well being will thrive is if I take care of myself.

A wave of nausea shot threw my body, causing me to gag violently.

My hand clamped over my mouth while I hurriedly got out of bed and scrambled to the bathroom.

I dropped to my knees and held my hair back while hovering my head over the toilet bowl.

And then I let it rip. The thing was my weight was supposed to go up slightly but with how much I'd been vomiting, my weight had stayed stagnant.

This case of morning sickness was particularly bad for some reason. I felt weak and lightheaded. The room was spinning and I was barely keeping my head directly over the toilet bowl.

A few tears slipped down my face as I tried to suppress the pain and exhaustion in my body.

After about ten minutes, I felt a tiny bit better. In the sense that I wasn't nauseous anymore, but the aftermath of it was far worse.

I weakly flushed down all the vomit and held onto the sink tightly to pull myself up.

It was terrible. I wobbled on my feet as I tried to wash my hands and clean my mouth. I gripped the sink tightly as I brushed my teeth to get rid of the obvious stink. This was my own problem and I could handle it.

Well...maybe not this time.

Once I brushed my teeth, I felt my knees buckle. I held the sink as I slowly lowered myself onto the ground.

I leaned against the bathtub while weakly hugging myself.

I kept whimpering to cope with the pain and to make sure I stayed awake. After lots of research, I found out that this wasn't exactly anything to be worried about so I just decided to handle it on my own. It'd pass eventually.

I didn't want anyone to know. This was my burden, and mine alone.

Seokjin POV

I was up rather early in the morning because I had some work that I needed to do in my study.

A man of business can never rest.

I straightened out the collar of my shirt while walking to my study. I was honestly thinking of taking the day off, but if I wanted to, I had to at least complete this task to make sure our international businesses continued to flourish.

My study just so happened to be right next to Yubin's room. So while I was walking I thought I'd quickly peep in on her to make sure she was alright.

She'd be asleep anyway so she wouldn't see that I was trying to care. I do have a reputation to uphold, even if it's slightly mellowed since meeting her.

I approached her door and was about to turn the door, but my hand froze at the handle.

Very faintly, I could hear soft whimpers coming from inside. Like the sound one makes when they're really dizzy or something and they moan to sort of stay awake or signify they're in pain.

Fear.

Panic.

Dread.

Worry.

All of it overwhelmed me. Something was definitely wrong with her and it scared the living hell out of me.

I quickly opened the door only to find that she wasn't in her bed.

"Yubin?!"

There was a small whimper from the bathroom in response.

I pushed open the door to see her leaning against the bathtub looking incredibly weak.

She seemed extremely frail and sick.

There was this unexplainable feeling rising in my heart but all I knew was that seeing her like that was hurting me immensely. Guilt, fear, and hurt.

"I-I'm o-okay," she managed to speak.

I shook my heart, "You're not Yubin. I told you I'd take care of you, didn't I? This is for the safety of you and the baby. So stop being like this!"

I gently scooped the girl into my arms and held her close to me.

She cutely snuggled into me, burying her face into the crook of my neck.

I carried her out of the room and down into the living room. This way I could get her some tea and crack open a window for her.

I laid her down on the couch and propped up some pillows so she could sit up comfortably. Then I quickly went to make some ginger tea. I was pretty sure the reason she was in the bathroom was because of morning sickness. I remembered that once I had looked up how to care for your partner when they were pregnant and I found a really great article on specifically what to do when it's morning sickness. Ginger tea and crackers would help settle her stomach without upsetting it so I got on making it right away.

Once I made it, I brought it to her along with a pack of saltine crackers.

"You didn't have to," she murmured tiredly.

"Kwon Yubin, stop it. You know better than to argue with me. Drink the tea and eat the crackers. It'll settle your stomach," I said.

She hesitantly sipped the tea, cute smacking her lips when it was too hot.

She quietly nibbled at the crackers, avoiding my gaze.

"This has been going on a lot, hasn't it?" I questioned.

She looked down into the cup, "I'm sorry. I was tired of burdening you with my pregnancy problems. So I just dealt with it on my own."

I wanted to shout at her, but another thing I had read was that being patient would only benefit them more.

"Yubin look at me."

Her soft brown eyes met mine reluctantly. I would never outwardly admit it, but she was really beautiful. Something about her was so unique and precious. She was like a flower I wanted to protect. Maybe not some sort of delicate flower, but a flower nonetheless.

"Don't ever feel like you're burdening me. I know I made it out to seem like I didn't want you to bother me with your pregnancy problems, but that's not it. You must come to me when stuff like this is happening. I asked you to stay here so I could take care of you and the baby when stuff like this happened. Morning sickness isn't easy, and I don't want to see you struggling like this. I'm going to assume every time you ran off to the bathroom, it wasn't because you had to pee?"

"Most of the time," she admitted.

I sighed, "I'm sorry Yubin. If there was something I could do to make it easier I would. I'd pay millions to make it better."

Her face turned red and for a second I thought she fell sick, but I smirked when I realized she was just flustered.

"So...what's causing it? Is there a smell or taste that makes you feel sick?" I questioned.

She nodded slowly, "It's the smell and taste of fish and cheese."

I sighed, "Yubin...why didn't you say anything? So many meals had it in them. God, I'm sorry."

She shook her head, "It's my fault."

I couldn't hold back. My hand shakily moved to her face again. I took a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

I smiled softly, "Never. It's never your fault."

I sat beside her on the couch, angling myself so that I could provide a comfortable spot for her to rest.

I patted my lap, "You're probably tired. Lie down."

"B-but, work."

I shook my head, "I'm not going in and neither are you. And right now, you should just lay down and rest."

She opened her mouth to protest but she promptly closed it because she knew there was no use in arguing with me.

She scooted closer to me and turned her body before laying her small head on my lap.

I was strangely nervous to have her resting on me, but I wasn't about to make her move.

I gently ran my hands through her hair and brushed it out of her face. I could tell my her gentle hum that she was enjoying it.

I smiled while gently moving my hand down to give her a neck massage.

Soon enough, I heard her soft breaths, signifying that she was asleep.

I sighed, "Well what to do now?"

My hands drifted down towards her tiny baby bump. I cradled the small lump and gently rubbed it.

"Hi little baby. Uh—it's me, your dad. Umm...go easy on your mom. She's trying to do it all on her own. I know it's probably not easy having me be your dad. For her and for you. I'm rather...stern I guess. Or I guess cold might be a better word. I'm not one to let people in or 'love.' But umm...your pictures, the ones we have on the fridge, I felt different. Seeing you made me feel warmer I guess. And when I look at your mom, my heart beats a little bit quicker and I feel really...happy. Anyway, you be good in there and don't give her a hard time. And when you come out, I expect you to be as gorgeous as me. Okay? Sleep well."

I gave her belly one last tender rub before settling into a more comfy position and falling asleep with the beautiful girl tucked into my embrace.