Chapter 9

I don't know how long I sat crying in my office, but when I grab a hold of myself, I notice that is pitch-black outside. I can hear the raindrops as they hit the glass of the windows. It is almost a calming sound. Taking a deep breath, I get up and walk up to our bedroom. I guess now only mine.

I look at the screen of my phone and notice couple of worried messages from Henry asking me if I am okay, because he heard us arguing, but doesn't know the contents of it.

I'm fine, I text back, and immediately three dots appear on the bottom of the screen.

I don't believe you...

You better take care of yourself. After hitting send, I feel sorry for typing that reply. The dots appear again, and I wait for his text, but nothing happens.

When I reach my bedroom and look inside the walk-in closet all his cloths are gone – not that there were many to start with. The same goes for the bathroom. He really left. It dawns on me that we really broke up. That our three-year relationship is now over.

I want to crawl into my bed not caring that I am still in my sports wear, but loud knocks on my front door let me stop in my tracks. Sighing I take my phone.

Please leave. I text him.

Not until I know that nothing happened to you.

I'm fine, really.

If I need to, I'll kick in this fucking door.

Sighing, I move my hand through my hair and walk back downstairs. When I open the front door and see the shocked look on his face, I can only fathom how I must look like. Averting his gaze, I turn my head away. Immediately he raises one hand to put it onto my cheeks and turns it back to him.

"What happened?" he asks me, his voice clearly laced with concern.

"We had a fight and broke up," I tell him. Shortly he raises one eyebrow, but then presses his lips together tightly. He removes his hand from my cheek and wraps his arm around my shoulder to pull me against his warm body.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry for something that you didn't have a part in?"

"Because I feel as I do."

"No, you might have been mentioned, but you weren't the cause," I tell him and lift my head to look at him. I can feel him pressing me more against him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes, but I think I would need a drink first," I tell him after what felt like couple of minutes. I can feel his muscles in his arm tense. "I don't want to get drunk. It will just make talking about it easier, I guess."

"Under one condition, we do it over at my house," he sighs, and I nod and straighten myself up. He removes his arm from around me, gets my keys from the sideboard and then leads me over to his house.

Kal already waits at the door and jumps onto my legs with his front paws in excitement when he sees me. Halfheartedly I scratch him behind his ears and Henry orders him back to his bed which he does hesitantly as if he can feel that I am not doing well.

Quickly I get out of my shoes and sit down on my usual spot, eagerly awaiting the drink. However, when he puts the glass with the liquor in it in front of me, I can just look at it.

"My career has always been hanging over us like the sword of Damocles. One wrong word or move and the thread holding it would tear and the sword would fall down on us. I guess in some sort of twisted way, it did today," I start and take the glass between my hands and move the dark liquid inside.

"His parents were tough on him, especially his father. He always wanted him to follow in his footsteps and take over the company. I think that his wish comes true now. Luke has struggled with the pressure his father put on him from the beginning. Never were his grades good enough, whereas his sister who had some classes with me, could never do anything wrong. I can understand that this is one of the reasons what drove him to prove himself to his family, that he could achieve something without their name or money. I think I would have done something similar," I sigh and raise the glass to my lips but put it down again without taking a sip.

"Money has always been a touchy subject between us. He grew up with it and was used to a certain lifestyle. When we got together, he saw that I came from a middle-income family and literally worked my ass off to get a scholarship and good grades. I think it motivated him to try to live without his trust fund and family's money. Our first year of dating was fun, easy and effortless. When we got pretty serious and started talking about next steps such as moving in together and maybe marrying in the long run, I revealed to him, that even though I worked at a library, I wrote the Ancient series and make most of my living out of it."

"How did he react to that?" Henry asks me and leans against the kitchen counter.

"On one hand he was proud of my achievements, on the other I noticed a hint of jealousy that I was already a multiple New York Times bestselling author at the age of twenty-six and that with his words he only managed to finish law school cum laude and taking the bar exam."

"But that's an accomplishment as well. Please correct me, but cum laude means, that you are on the top of your class and have high grades."

"Yes, at most universities in the US you need at least a GPA of 3.5 or higher. However, it is a bit different in Ivy League universities. I tried to tell him that he can be proud that he graduated with honors from Yale. Immediately he compared his academic achievement to mine," I sigh and push the glass away from me, earning me a surprised look from Henry.

"You went to Yale?" he asks me, and I nod my head in affirmation.

"Correct and I graduated with magna cum laude, because one of my professors advocated immensely for me as I published many articles in different science newsletters, and he knew of my alias Rae Dawn. He figured it out because of the syntax and words I used. He told me that it is like an author's fingerprint. I sound really conceited right now, don't I?"

"No, not at all. You are just proud of your own accomplishments, and you are allowed to do that," he tells me and smiles at me.

"Anyways, where was I. Right, the revelation of me being Rae Dawn. I know that he struggled to keep up his lifestyle that he had known all his life with his income as an associate at a law firm. So, when I received the offer from Netflix that they would love to buy the rights to adapt the books into a series of movies, he was happy for me. But I noticed that he wasn't sure about the now reversed roles, me having money and him living from paycheck to paycheck. To be honest, I couldn't care less how much my partner makes as long as I am happy with him."

"I think people overestimate the importance of having money. And I don't speak of having enough to pay all your bills and having a bit left to save and spend however you wish to, because that is already a luxury for many. However, I speak of having so much money, that you don't know what to do with it, because money can only buy you happiness until a certain degree," Henry says, and I nod my head.

"Exactly. Looking back, I wish, I would have never sent the books to my publisher and accepted the movie deal."

"And deprive your fans and me of these epic books?" he asks me, and I huff. "Just out of curiosity, how much did they offer you? Over or under a million?"

If that question would have come from anyone else, I probably would have been offended. But I know that he doesn't ask it, because he wants to know how much is in my bank account, but probably if they made a bargain. His second question tells me that.

"Millions. They were tough negotiations between my team of lawyers who got help from Luke and their team. In the end, we settled on a compromise, and I was glad, because they accepted the most important requests of mine which are apparently really unusual for the standards of Hollywood." When I notice Henry's confused expression, I elaborate, "I want to be on set, so my fans can get the best version of the adaption with the characters acting the way I meant them to. And I wanted to be involved in the casting."

"Sounds fair. And even though I want to, I'm not going to ask you about that right now."

"I think it's better that way. Anyways, since Luke had helped the team of lawyers, I only saw it fitting that I would pay him for his expertise and knowledge, because he had worked long hours and days on it. When I gave him the check, he asked me if it was meant as an insult, because he wanted to help. Looking back at it, I think he took the opportunity to prove to himself and his father that he is good at what he does."

Sighing I get up from the barstool and walk over to Kal to sit on the floor next to him. Immediately he adjusts his position and puts his head onto my legs and closes his eyes in delight when I start to pet him.

"We obviously moved to LA as I could be based here for the duration of the movies being made. When I saw this neighborhood and the house, I immediately fell in love with it and knew that I would need to buy it. Even though Luke wanted to contribute to it, he couldn't, because he didn't have any money saved up. He was too proud to use the check for it as it would have been my money in the end as well."

"I remember you telling me, that the last year has been tough on your relationship, what changed from then until a few weeks ago? Because I have the feeling that since we met it got progressively worse."

"A few weeks after we had moved into the house, he told me that he had applied to Stanford to pursue his doctorate in law and got accepted. I was excited for him and supported him however I could. I might have gone a little overboard with a new laptop."

"I guess, he wasn't happy about your gift?"

"Not at all. From the point where he went back studying onward to a few months ago, we spent less and less time together. We used to have a date night rule in our relationship. We would go out at least once a week and catch up, because we hadn't used to live together before moving here. While I thought that moving in together would bring us closer, it only drifted us further apart. Dates became irregular as he had to research or prepare papers for his classes. When we spent time together, we didn't talk about us and our relationship but what goes on in our professional lives. While he struggled with school, I was happy with bringing down my new idea on paper and the prospect of the movie. I think seeing me that happy and content where I was at that time, made him review his own life." I close my eyes and feel Kal snuggling closer as if he can feel my restlessness.

"The weekend I met Heather, Charles and you was the weekend of his best friend's bachelor party. He flew back to NYC and came back like a completely different man. I only saw him in the mornings or in the late evenings, and on weekends he didn't really want to talk to me. His words grew harsher from day to day, and I tried to defend his actions, because I still had hope that it would be just a phase," I sigh, and I see that Henry has this stoic facial expression again.

"You know what happened on my birthday. The next day, I walked back to my house and to my surprise it was completely cleaned. I talked to him, and he told me, he wouldn't remember anything, and, in the end, I gave him a second chance. But as of today, I know that he lied to me in that moment, and I was too naïve to see through him and believed him. He even went as far as accusing me of cheating on him with you." I can hear Henry taking in a sharp breath and I notice that he has crossed his arms while I was telling him this and staring at Kal.

"How do you feel about it now?" he asks me as I get up from the floor and walk back to the kitchen island.

"I'm hurt and upset, but I think he was right when he told me, that we were doomed from the start. There were so many pent-up problems and feelings of which we didn't talk about because it would have led to a fight. Neither of us wanted that, so he distracted me with sex, and I let it happen."

"Don't make it your own fault. Both of you were in that relationship, therefore he is equally to blame. Relationships aren't easy. Every time I visit my parents, they show me that it takes a lot to make a partnership work. They occasionally have a heated discussion about something, because they are invested in it. An hour later when both of them had time to reflect on it, they sit down and talk about it and find a compromise with which both of them can live with. I think that communication is one of the most important elements in not only a partnership or friendship but in every relationship."

"I agree with that, and I know that is one of many things that I will take away from this relationship with Luke. I will need to start healing the wounds that this relationship left behind. I need to grieve to some extend and then work on be happy again. But right now, I could use a hug," I tell him, and he walks to my side.

He wraps both his arms around my shoulders, and I rest my head against his chest. His heartbeat is steady and strong. Listening to it, is like listening to a lullaby. Slowly I put my arms around his middle and grab the fabric of his t-shirt between my fingers. As I start to grieve the loss of my relationship, I start to sob and cry. Without complaining Henry holds me and moves his hands over arms in a comforting manner.

"Thank you for being here for me," I say after the tears have stopped. I release the fabric of his t-shirt and take a deep breath. Slowly he removes his arms and looks at me with a worried expression.

"That's what friends are for, Charlotte." I try to stifle a yawn and he chuckles lowly. "Come on, let's go to bed. You have a very eventful day behind you, and it is already past my own bedtime."

"Did I keep you from going to sleep?" I ask him plagued with guilt.

"It's okay. I will survive with an hour or two less of sleep," he tells me and smiles. I exhale in relief and follow him upstairs to sleep in separated bedrooms.