♡︎|11

chapter eleven—✧♡︎✧—

Felix's mind was spinning, his heart hammering in his chest. He couldn't believe this was happening. He had just wanted to post a photo to show off his new glow-up, and now he had Hyunjin jealous? Panicking? Felix couldn't stop grinning through his stress. It felt like he was living in some kind of rom-com, but way messier.

Jisung was pacing around Felix's room, bouncing off the walls with excitement. "I swear to god, Felix, this is like the best thing to ever happen to us."

Felix flopped back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I can't deal with this, Jisung. Hyunjin is straight. He's with Haeri. This is just... this is a disaster waiting to happen." He buried his face in his hands, completely overwhelmed.

"You say that," Jisung replied, eyes sparkling with mischievous energy, "but he clearly does not want to lose you, Felix. You've got him exactly where we need him. Don't you dare let him pull out of this. We've got one shot at this."

Felix's thoughts were a whirlwind. Hyunjin had liked his photo, then followed him, then sent those cryptic DMs—Felix was positive that wasn't a normal reaction from a straight guy. Jisung was right; Hyunjin clearly cared—maybe even more than Felix realized. But did that mean what Felix was hoping it meant? Could he possibly be into him too?

Jisung, noticing the way Felix was spiraling, plopped back down on the bed beside him. "Listen," he said seriously, "you're not the only one in this equation. Hyunjin is freaked out. He's not used to this either."

Felix rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile at his friend's sudden serious tone. "You think so?"

"Trust me," Jisung said with a sly grin. "He wouldn't have liked the photo and sent those messages if he didn't care. He's in full gay panic mode right now. Just wait for him to text again. He'll be a mess, I guarantee it."

Felix bit his lip nervously. "So what do I do now?"

Jisung grinned devilishly. "Now? Now we make him sweat a little. Play it cool."

Felix groaned. "I hate this."

"No, you love it," Jisung retorted, his grin growing wider. "You love the idea of Hyunjin squirming, secretly wanting you, but not knowing how to deal with it."

Felix couldn't help but laugh, despite his nerves. "You're insane."

"Yeah, but it's working," Jisung said smugly. "Now let's wait for his next message, yeah? We're in control now."

—

Back at Hyunjin's house, he stared at the screen, where his last message lingered, and his heart thumped in his chest.

What was he supposed to say?

He had liked Felix's photo. He had followed him. He had sent two DMs. And now... now Felix wasn't replying. It made Hyunjin's head spin. Why wasn't he replying? Was Felix upset? Did he think Hyunjin was acting weird?

He couldn't help himself—he opened Felix's profile again. There, the photo still sat at the top of his feed, staring back at him like a challenge. Felix looked... different. Hot. He looked so damn hot. Hyunjin ran a hand over his face, trying to calm himself, but the knots in his stomach wouldn't loosen.

He typed again, his fingers trembling as he hit send:

hwangprince20: "You look good in your photos. Just wanted to say that."

The second he hit "send," he froze.

That was probably the most awkward thing he could've said. His chest tightened. What the hell was he doing? What if Felix thought he was some creepy guy who couldn't take a hint?

Before he could spiral any further, Hyunjin heard a knock at his door. He quickly shoved his phone under his pillow and tried to compose himself.

Minho stepped into his room, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "What's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Hyunjin let out a nervous laugh, trying to cover up his discomfort. "I'm fine, just... a lot on my mind."

Minho smirked knowingly. "It's about Felix, isn't it?"

Hyunjin's heart skipped a beat. "What? No."

"Hyunjin, seriously?," Minho said, sitting on the edge of his bed. "Don't lie. I can see it on your face. You've been acting weird since the moment you got home yesterday."

Hyunjin's stomach flipped. "I don't know what you mean. I'm fine."

"Right," Minho said, smirking. "Except for the fact that you were completely out of it last night. You sure you're fine?"

Hyunjin's face flushed. "I'm just... figuring things out. And it's complicated."

Minho raised an eyebrow. "Complicated?"

Hyunjin sighed and collapsed onto his bed. "You wouldn't get it."

Minho laughed. "Try me. It's not that hard to see, Hyunjin. You're into Felix. And I'm pretty sure Felix is into you, too. You guys are both just too scared to admit it."

Hyunjin went silent. He didn't know how to respond to that.

But before he could say anything, his phone buzzed again. He glanced at it, and his heart skipped a beat.

It was from Felix.

felixlee: "Thanks... and I'll take that as a compliment. You look good too."

Hyunjin didn't know whether to laugh, scream, cry or panic. Instead, he just stared at the message, his face burning.

Minho noticed and smirked. "See? What did I tell you?"

Hyunjin just buried his face in his hands, groaning. "Hyung, I'm in so much trouble."

Minho watched his brother with a mix of amusement and concern. He could see how frazzled Hyunjin was, the way his hands were running through his hair for what felt like the hundredth time, his eyes wide, like he was trying to figure out some unsolvable math equation.

"Hyunjin," Minho began, his voice a little softer now, "you don't have to figure it all out right this second."

Hyunjin, clearly agitated, sat up on his bed, his hands on his lap, gripping the edges like they were the only thing holding him together. "But I do need to figure it out. What is happening to me?"

Minho raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Hyunjin was pacing now, his thoughts coming faster than he could process. "I never thought about guys like that. I've always liked girls... I mean, I'm with Haeri, right? But now..."

He stopped abruptly, running a hand through his hair again, staring down at the floor. "I don't know what's going on, Minho hyung. It's Felix. I can't stop thinking about him. Why the hell is this happening?"

Minho didn't miss the way Hyunjin's voice faltered when he mentioned Felix. He'd seen his brother confused over relationships before, but this was different—this was something new, something deeply unsettling for Hyunjin, who had always prided himself on having things figured out.

"You don't have to be so freaked out about it, Hyunjin," Minho said calmly, his voice a little more gentle now, trying to ease the tension. "It's okay to have feelings for Felix. You don't need to slap a label on it right away."

Hyunjin's eyes snapped up to meet Minho's. "I don't want to be gay," he said, his voice firm, as though repeating it to convince himself. "I don't want to feel this way about him."

Minho's expression softened, but there was a flicker of frustration in his eyes. "You don't get to decide who you are based on what you've been taught to believe is 'right'. You like who you like, Hyunjin. Whether it's a guy or a girl or anyone in between, it doesn't change who you are at the core."

Hyunjin's hands clenched into fists, his frustration building. "But this isn't supposed to happen to me! I've never felt like this about a guy. I've been with Haeri for two years, and I love her. I... I'm supposed to be with her. I've never even looked at a guy that way before."

Minho sighed, his voice quiet but steady. "You're not doing anything wrong, Hyunjin. You're just realizing something about yourself that you never saw coming. It's okay to be confused. It's okay to be scared."

Hyunjin shook his head, clearly struggling. "No, it's not okay. I don't want to feel this way. This is... this is messing everything up. If I really feel like this about Felix, then what about Haeri? What about everything I've built? I can't just throw that away."

Minho leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, watching his brother intently. "But you're not throwing anything away. You're just realizing something new. You're just questioning things. And that's okay. You don't have to make some big decision today. You don't have to choose right now."

Hyunjin let out a long breath, frustration and confusion still clouding his mind. "I don't want to feel these things for Felix. It's... it's too much."

Minho's gaze softened, a hint of sadness crossing his face as he observed Hyunjin's internal battle. He knew how much his brother hated feeling out of control, hated feeling like things were slipping through his fingers.

"You're not losing yourself, Hyune," Minho said, voice quieter now. "You're just learning who you really are, in a way you never thought you'd have to. But I'm not saying you have to figure it all out right now. Just... take your time. Don't push it away because it doesn't fit with what you thought you knew. You don't need to label yourself right this second."

Hyunjin, still pacing, rubbed his face, his mind whirling with uncertainty. "I don't even know if I'm ready to deal with this. I mean... Felix? Why Felix of all people? I... I don't know how to handle this, Minho hyung. What if it's just some stupid phase? What if I'm just confused?"

Minho stood up and walked over to his brother, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're not stupid, Hyunjin. And this isn't just some phase. It's okay to be confused, but it's also okay to be yourself. Whether that means being with Haeri, or realizing that you might have feelings for Felix. You don't have to figure it out overnight. Just... be honest with yourself, that's all I'm asking."

Hyunjin looked down, his heart heavy. There was so much he didn't understand, so much he wanted to avoid. He didn't know how to reconcile his feelings for Felix with his relationship with Haeri, with everything he'd known to be true about himself.

But Minho was right. Maybe he didn't have to have everything figured out today. Maybe he didn't have to make a decision right now.

But still... Felix.

It was terrifying.

And as Hyunjin thought about how easily Felix's smile made his heart race, he couldn't help but feel like the world was tilting in a direction he wasn't sure he was ready for.