02 | Oh No !

"Fear"

He's my friend, my partner, as realisation hits fear creeps over me in this dark and silent night. How long have we been together and even how we first met , every small details of our life came flashing in my memory.

What am I supposed to do with this feeling .....What if he doesn't even feel the same way as I do, what if he even hates me for it. I'll only make things worse and make our career difficult for us, it'll be awkward between us . What if after confessing my feelings to him only makes him want to leave me .

My mind runs around making me stay up all night. I then take my phone to look at the photo of us, I don't want Tutor to leave me , my manager always warned me about this and how it destroys many careers .

My eyes slowly start to close then I'm lost in my dreams.

Ring......ring......ring.........

My phone was ringing I picked it up

"Someone promised me they'll call me this morning but now it becomes noon, are you still asleep"

It was Tutor, today he has some solo events

"Oh! Sorry naa I just woke up, I was so tired" I answered

" How are you feeling now sleepyhead" he asked softly

Look how caring he is

" I'm fine .. I'm fine don't worry " I answered shyly

" Okay, my event starts soon , watch it too and don't forget we have a crew dinner plan tonight, I'll pick you up. Byee " he said

Then end the call .

Oh we have a dinner plan , I don't want to see him today though while my mind is running even at the voice of him.

Imagine if we were dating, I Kick my blanket in frustration.

I woke myself to clean up then turned on the live channel Tutor was in. And sat on the couch to watch it on my TV screen.

He's suited up for the event with his glasses , oh he's always dazzling in such suits , answering the prompt question and promoting his event sponsors .

The crowd were many and shouted his name , falling for him.

I am not even sure Tutor likes men. Will he be disgusted I thought as I was watching him.Those uncomfortable reporters questions came to mind when ever we were promoting our series.Even though we're partners we keep things mutual and make our friendship strong.

The host was beautiful smiling at him , and being friendly, that's my man I wanna shout but I can only watch it through my couch and also I don't knowww........ I'm frustrated..

Then the crowd chats , they are our fans but then my mind wonders will my fans turned against me if they learn to know I'm real about loving a man, there are many people who are still homophobic and might even want to harm me and spread malicious hate comment on me , even on Tutor who doesn't even know I love him .

I'll only put myself, Tutor and my coworker in danger. If only I could read his mind behind those sweet smiles of his.

As some people don't know when to stop even in shipping us together not to mention the ghost ship that goes around that even myself sometimes don't like . These kinds of things are like wildfire , burning everything down.

Even if Tutor accepts me , there is no guarantee that his parents will accept me , I know my parents accept me as they also accept my career choice. But there is always the other side and the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Ha.......I sighed

I am one sided falling in love and even thinking about all this even before confessing.

I turned off my screen to eat something.

Time passes so faster.

Tutor came to pick me upHe is still wearing his glasses from the event. He dresses in his formal attire

And here I am in front of my gate thinking how he look so hot in those glasses . Just look at him come up to me opening the car door for me.

Oh no ! I'm falling in love again