23 I'm Okay

"I'm okay."He stared at the wall of his room, unblinking, unmoving."I'm totally fine."

One breath. Two breaths. 

"He lied to me."A tear escaped his eyes. 

"He knew I would loose everything. He'd known it from the start." His breath rattled, as quiet as his voice, barely more than a whisper in the darkness of his room. 

"He used me. He was selfish. I hate him."His chest hurt. His body hurt. Everything hurt. 

"I've only known him for a few weeks. He means nothing to me." Silence answered him. 

It was three or four in the morning.He'd awoken from a nightmare. About what, he couldn't remember, only that he had awoken with a sour taste in his mouth and his skin damp with sweat. And then he hat started convincing himself, as he had the past week. 

"Jungkook and I were never meant to be anyway. It would have never worked out." 

An image flashed in front of his eyes. Only one. Only Jungkook's face, the way he had looked at him as he whispered: remember me like this.

His tears came and then the sobs which he silenced by burying his face into the pillows. It had never hurt so much. He'd been left before, but nothing had ever made him feel like this. Had him unable to find a way out of this room and back to work. Perhaps this had been the reason all along- why he never opened up to anyone. Why he never allowed himself to love any of his boyfriends for real. Because he felt too much, too deep when he loved for real. Gave parts of himself, the way he had given all those small parts to Jungkook without realizing it. Perhaps without willingly giving it. Taken by that boy who had wrecked his world.

He knew the moment he saw Jungkook, he would fall apart. Especially knowing there was another person by his side now.

He'd seen the photos on the internet. Ji-Eun was kind of a hot-shot and her fiancé a very young, very rich man. He'd almost manage to get out today. Had almost managed to convince himself he was being ridiculous crying after him. Until he'd seen their photo. Holding hands. In front of the company. Wide smiles and standing close. 

Remember me like this.

He wished he wouldn't. He wished he could forget it all. To be nothing but an ambitious boy again who liked to sleep around. It had been so much easier then. 

Remember me like this. 

It was probably the meanest thing Jungkook had ever asked of him. He should have made Jimin hate him. He should have pretended and lied. He should have shoved him away and made him hate him. Instead he knew the smile in that photo wasn't real. He knew what the real one looked like. This wasn't it. Jungkook was miserable. He was miserable. 

Remember me like this.

He did. And it hurt all the more. 

***

There was a commotion outside his door.It was Sunday morning and Jimin had only hoped to be left alone.He knew he was being a coward. A weakling. Pathetic.But he couldn't find the strength to even care about it.He had to save his strength for tomorrow. For when he had to go back to work. Because if he didn't, even this pain would have been for nothing.He had chosen between his career- his life's work, or Jungkook. If he kept hiding in his room, all of it would have been for nothing. 

The voices grew louder and he groaned into his blanket. That is until he detected the strangers voice. Not male.Female. Loud and tight and snappy.There was shuffling, the clucking of heels over wooden floor and then three knocks, sharp and angry, just like the voice."Open the door, Jimin, right now."

He sat up straight, his body rigid.Impossible.

One of the boys- Jin- spoke to her in agitation but Jimin could no longer think. Impossible.

Another knock."Don't make me count Jimin," the woman warned, obviously having ignored the oldest."One."Jimin stood, his body moving like the voice was pulling him on invisible strings."Two."He reached the door, his heart beating violently in his chest."Thr-"He opened the door and came face to face with the woman.

Her lips were painted a dark shade of red, her eyes narrowed as she glowered at him.She was almost the same height but only because of her high-heels.Jimin gaped.

"Well, finally," she announced and Jimin's eyes, for a mere second, drifted to the boys standing around her. His roommates looked surprised, but he couldn't tell whether it was because of the woman standing in their flat or that Jimin had actually come out at her command when they had failed to do so this past week.

His eyes skipped back to the woman, his lips trembling."What..w-why are you here?""Why do you think?," she fired back, hands now on her hips. 

"Jimin," Tae asked from behind her, the confusion in his voice clearly audible."Do you know her?"

The woman clicked her tongue and turned to the other's. She was smaller than most of then, yet she stood like she towered over them all."Of course he knows me. He's dating my son after all."

Their jaw dropped, staring at Mrs. Jeon, no doubt realizing the similarities. The tilt of their eyes. The nose and the slight uplift of her mouth, just like Jungkook's."You are Jungkook's mother?" And that was Hoseok, his voice high and caught in surprise.

She gave them a tight nod and turned back around like a punching sack."I'm very disappointed in you Jimin," she chided and Jimin shrunk back in himself at the accusation. But then, just like last time, the hard expression in her face cracked,  revealing that dazzling smile she inherited to her son."I told you I wanted to have coffee with you sometime, and yet you never reached out."Jimin stared, his mouth open, not sure how to even respond to that.

Mrs. Jeon sighed and then turned, as fast and swift as he had seen Jungkook do a thousand times."You,'" she snapped, the force back in her voice as she pointed at Jin who flinched. Actually flinched. 

"Jin, right? My Namjoon darling's boyfriend, is it? Go make some coffee. I have some things to discuss with my future son-in-law."Jimin choked and the other's gaped like their eyes were a moment away from popping out of their sockets.

Their was a moment of absolute suspense where no one moved, until Mrs. Jeon clapped her hands twice, loud and shrill. "Well? Get on it. I take sugar, no milk."

And with that she turned, grabbed Jimin's wrist and dragged him to the living room. All safe for Jin, who had hurried to the kitchen so fast he'd nearly stumbled, followed the two of them.Mrs. Jeon stopped in front of the sofa, then sat, gracefully and regal, crossing her legs and flattening her deep blue dress neatly over her lap.

Jimin slowly sat next to her  feeling like a clumsy little thing compared to her. His mind was spinning, not sure how to deal with Jungkook's mother's sudden appearance.Or how she had talked about him and Jungkook like they were still together. Not that they had ever been a couple. Did she not know?

The other's sat too, all eyes on the woman who looked like she should be sitting on a throne rather than their old, worn down sofa.There was a long moment of silence, only the coffee machine in the kitchen and Jin's rustling filtering through the flat. 

He came walking in a second later, holding a cup of steaming coffee in his hand like it was a trophy, then slowly lowered it on the little table in front of her.Jimin, despite everything, had to fight a smile. He'd never seen the oldest so...docile. But he supposed if anyone could make him, it would be Mrs. Jeon.She thanked him and they all watched her take a sip.

It was a little awkward- the silence, the five of them watching the woman as she slowly lowered the cup again.

"So," she started and turned to face Jimin. His heart set out a beat and he went rigid, sitting as straight as a drawn bow."I suppose my son broke it off with you because he's afraid what his father will do if he finds out you two are together?"Jimin sucked in a sharp breath.

Oh... Mrs. Jeon didn't come to play, going straight for the wound.Slowly he nodded, his eyes lowered as the pain crashed into him once more.But he would not cry. Not in front of her.

"He did. I...I get it."She was silent for a moment, studying him intently before she sighed and continued with a tight but cautious voice."Then there is only one question you have to answer me."

She reached out and lifted his head with a long, slender finger under his chin.It was hard to breath as he met her dark eyes."Do you love him?"

Jesus. This woman was nothing if not direct.And Jimin... He couldn't lie. Not about this. What would be the point? This woman seemed to look right through him anyway. So in a rough voice he whispered: "Yeah. I do."

She looked at him for a second longer, before that smiled returned. "Good. Oh, you have no idea how glad I am to know that bitch Ji-Eun will be out of my life soon."

They all stared at her, Jimin the most. 

"Mrs. Jeon... I don't think you understand. I... I do love Jungkook but... being him would mean I would loose everything. My job. My future. I... you can't ask me to do that."She grinned wider and nodded. 

"Of course not. And I know my son would never let that happen. Hell, he's willing to marry a woman he despises to prevent it. But both of you seemed to have forgotten a vital part in all of this."

Jimin frowned, not sure where she was going with this. Mrs. Jeon seemed to see the question written all over his face. She beamed a bit brighter, then pulled out an envelope from her designer bag. "Me. You forgot about me," she announced, the sound of the envelope hitting the little table having them all flinch. 

Jimin was lost for words, so Tae helped him out, asking what they were all wondering. "What is that?" He nodded at the envelope and Mrs. Jeon smile turned downright frightening. 

"You really think I would let my son make the mistake of his life? I married his father for almost the same reasons Jungkook is planning to marry Ji-Eun. It was arranged by my parents and his, and I had very little to say in the matter. So, boys... do you know what I do for a living?" 

Her question threw them off, none of them understanding what one had to do with the other, until Yoongi spoke up: "You.. you have a cosmetic company, right?"

She nodded, her painted lips tugging up again. "I do. And it's doing quite well, if I may add. Really well."They waited for her to go on and explain, but she only smiled. 

"And? What has that got to do with anything?" Hoseok asked. "Everything. I guess I'm trying to tell you I'm rich. Richer even than my husband, which... well, it would be better not tell him. He'd never recover from the shame. He's arrogant and self-centered and probably never even thought about how much money I was making while he ran his oh so precious company." 

They all starred. Mr. Jeon was one of the richest people they knew and she... she was even richer? Talk about being born into a wealthy family, Jungkook...

"So what's that then?" Jimin finally asked, nodding at the envelope, his voice trembling with hope. It had risen slowly, but the way  Mrs. Jeon smiled at him- the way she sounded so convinced...

"This," she purred and slowly slid the envelop over to Jimin. "Is a present for you. One you will have to accept, or my husband will be the least of your worries. I'll make him look like an angle. trust me." 

Jimin swallowed thickly and took the rough paper into his trembling hands. He wasn't sure if any of the boys were breathing as they watched him open it and take out the little stack of paper. Jimin scanned the documents. Then scanned them again, his heart picking up a crazy speed. Impossible. More impossible than Mrs. Jeon showing up.He gasped as he realized what he was reading. Then let out a single curse word, his head snapping up to the grinning woman. 

"Tell me you didn't!" She tilted her head to the side like a cat and grinned wider. 

"Oh, but I think I did. Congratulation, Jimin. You now own 10 percent of the shares of J-Jeons. Which makes you part of the council and un-fireable since you own part of the company itself. My husband will be so pleased to know I finally took some interest in J-Jeons."

There was a ringing in Jimin's ears. A ringing, shrill and loud. She had bought shares form her own husband's company and given it to Jimin. He was distantly aware the boys were half-shouting, bombarding Mrs. Jeon with question. How did she do that? How much was it? Did that mean Jimin was now no longer Jungkook's boss? But Jimin... he only saw Jungkook. 

Remember me like this. 

"I have to go." They all turned to him as he jumped from the seat, clutching the paper tight in his hand. Slowly, Mrs. Jeon reached out and took it from him. Their gaze met. She winked. "Go get em'" she whispered. And Jimin didn't need to be told a second time.The hope in his heart was like a living, livid thing, moving his feet at a mind-gobbling speed, his body working with an efficiency he didn't knew he had as he got dressed and was out the house in less than a few seconds. The others were shouting bits of encouragement, the hope in their eyes fueling his even more. 

Remember me like this.

Maybe he wouldn't have to just remember. 

***

He was breathless as he reached the door to Jungkook's apartment. This time, however, there was no hesitation as he knocked, loud and clear. Still, his heart was hammering in his chest, his mouth dry. 

A week. He hadn't seen Jungkook for only a week and yet as that door opened and he caught sight of him- He had never really believed in love. That's what had been his problem. He had always seen these people in happy relationship and condescended them. Nothing lasted. Everything always broke eventually.  But not this. He knew. Not this between him and Jungkook. This was what love felt like. 

"Jimin," Jungkook breathed, his eyes wide in both shock and relieve as he found the smaller stand in front of him, breathless from running up seven stories, too impatient to even wait for the elevator. Jungkook wore comfortable trousers, his shirt several sizes too big, but he still managed to make it look absolutely stylish. 

His hair was toussled, just the way Jimin loved it. He stood tall and rigid, staring down at him as if afraid to move. And Jimin didn't care. He shot forward and flung himself around his neck, sealing their lips together. Jungkook was still for a moment, his lips soft but unmoving. 

Just a moment- before he heard the raw sound of utter defeat, like there was nothing Jungkook could do to stop himself as he brought his arms around him and kissed him back. Kissed him like he had missed him as much as Jimin had. Like he had been sad and miserable, just like Jimin. Like this kiss was capable of washing away all that happened the last week, took all the pain and sadness. Jimin let out a sound mixed between a moan and a sigh as he felt the hard planes of his body, his scent wrapping around him. Jungkook. His Jungkook. This was what coming home felt like. It felt right. 

"Jimin," Jungkook whispered again, his name spoken with such tenderness, such loss and hurt and pain. Jimin kissed him deeper, letting his body melt against Jungkook's, his hands around the boy's neck pulling tighter. 

But Jungkook seemed to have regained some of his wits again, pushing him away.They were both breathing hard and the look on Jungkook's face... devastation."You shouldn't have come."

Slowly, Jimin stepped closer again pressing his chest against his while bringing up a hand to gently tug a wild black strand behind his ear.And when Jungkook saw his smile, warm and hopeful and happy, his lips parted in awe and wonder."Yeah, well your mother had other plans for us."

His eyes flew open wide in surprise."M-my mother?"Jimin grinned and nodded."She definitely likes me more than Ji-Eun."Jungkook still stared at him, perplexed."I know but... what has that got to do with anything?"

So Jimin told him. Jungkook watched with ever growing eyes, a shimmer in them like he couldn't believe his mother had done that. Like he hadn't known about how wealthy she was or that she could even do that."So... you're saying... you can't be fired now?"Jimin nodded and then grinned a little mischievously. "It also means as long as you haven't inherited your father's company, I am technically your boss now."

He saw the wheels turn in Jungkook's head. Saw him come to the realization that his mother just gave him the best gift in the world- she had set him free. "Oh... oh my god." 

It rattled out of him like a prayer and he jerked forward, sudden and fast as he usually was and engulfed Jimin in a tight hug. Jimin smiled as he heard the younger's heartbeat, wild and fast, but happy. Relieved. 

Jimin closed his eyes with a ridiculously wide smile on his face, buried in Jungkook's chest, the scent of his aftershave, mixed with the lemony scent of the fabric softener he used. "You know," Jungkook whispered against his ear, then drew away, cupping his face gently to make their gaze met. "You're already the boss of my heart. Not like it would change much if you'd also be my superior at work, and-" he smirked, some of that dark lust filtering through the happiness. "I think calling you Mr. Park would totally turn me on."

Jimin laughed, even as the tears came. Tears of happiness and relieve and the ache of missing Jungkook finally gone. "Nah, nah, don't cry angel.""If you stop, I stop," Jimin joked, because there were tears escaping his eyes as well. They smiled as they cried. They kissed, their tears turning their kisses salty, but oh so sweet at the same time. And finally, he believed what he had been telling himself all this week. I'm Okay.And this time, he knew he was right. 

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