XIV: Mystery

[semi-edited]

The snow was heavy, it usually didn't snow in Japan but today was different. The snow was sticking which was concerning. It must've been global warming, who knew?

The snowflakes were big and all sorts of shapes, the temperature was at least below twenty degrees. It was fucking freezing.

It had been a week or so since my dream with Fyodor, and the talk with Mikey. Christmas was coming and fast, it was Christmas eve currently. And I stood on the rooftop of a restaurant in Yokohama, my dress reached the floor. It was red and stuck to my skin, the fabric was silk so it wasn't entirely uncomfortable. It had sleeves and a slit down one leg.

Koko had convinced me to go to the party, Bonten was hosting a party in Yokohama to hopefully propose many business opportunities. I had never seen Bonten this open, it was very rare that they would host events like these. Because of getting caught by the authorities.

I took a step outside because everything was getting overwhelming, the weird looks I was getting from people passing by were mentally degrading. Some stitches were in, but the others just left scars and were slowly healing.

I felt self-conscious in the dress, and it was all that convenient. It was below freezing and I didn't have a jacket, but I was fine with it. I could freeze to death without a care in the world.

Mikey hadn't talked to me since the day he came into my room, but he's been more distant recently. He's been more hostile and weirdly calm, it sort of worried me. After all his dark impulses could kick in at any moment. Ran and Rindou had been teasing me more lately, the pull my hair and pinching my skin. After I had seen them for the first time after staying in my room for a couple of days, they told me that I was getting chubby. Their words hurt.

Kakucho had been sweet to me like Koko, he would get me things if I needed them. He helped me get ready for this stupid party because I couldn't myself, due to the bones in my arms being bruised. I also could barely stand straight, I lost so much blood that Kakucho and Koko had deemed me anemic. I was fine with it, it could've been worse. Some people in this little world of mine were nice and kind, they would help me without a second thought, and then there were the vipers. I hated them.

As for Sanzu, I couldn't look him in the eye. He scarred me and every time I flinched when he went in for a hug, he would scoff or roll his eyes like it was my fault. I didn't do anything but poke the bear and stand up to myself. When we were younger he always used to play with my hair or stroke my skin, the other night when I was "asleep" he came into my room and sat at the edge of my bed. He kept murmuring nonsense and stroked my bare leg for an entire hour. I wanted to hate him, but we had been through so much together. I had taken him in when he didn't have a place to stay, I put a smile on his face and made him laugh. I made him confident about his scars. We loved each other at one point. Even if it was all fake and total bullshit.

I leaned on the glass railing above the restaurant, it was pretty far up. It towered over most buildings in Yokohama, which had a beautiful view by the way. The lights from the Port lit up the city, there were very few boats out at this time but the ones that were were covered in men and women. Sweating and working hard for money.

Couples lined the sidewalk, holding hands and smiling at each other. It made me miss Fyodor, every day I hoped I would see him again. But I knew it was pointless, he was like a white piece of paper against a white piece of paper. You could never find him no matter how hard you tried, he blended into the background too well. And even if he was watching me I would never know. I missed him desperately, it may have just been a one-night stand but it felt like I knew him for a lifetime. Those feelings I felt for him didn't go away, they have been permanent so far. And after that night I had felt no sexual attraction to anyone else at all. Even when Ran lifted my skirt.

I hated what I felt, I felt so lost and useless. I knew I could never be with this person because he could be fake. This could all be some sick dream that never ended. I would never be able to see him again. My skin loathed for his, his warm hypnotic touch. His beautiful eyes.

Unexpectedly I felt a tear run down my face. This wasn't new, I found myself crying during my sleep or waking up with dried tears on my face. Fyodor wasn't a man to cry over, but he had been there. He may have been evil or the devil, but he helped me. I would've died if he hadn't been there that day. And I have been so fucking miserable, he was the person that held me in his arms. Not Sanzu or anyone else...

"[Y/n] what are you doing out here?" A voice appears behind me, I flip around. It was Koko.

I felt my heart thump out of my chest, he scared me shitless, "Koko, next time tap me on the shoulder or something so I don't have a heart attack and fall from the roof." I laugh nervously, my hand resting on my heart.

He was in a red suit, a white shirt sat beneath it and he had a black tie on. His long hair was tied into a low bun, which looked weirdly good on him. I liked it, I think it made him look more badass.

He chuckled, "WIll do. But what are you doing out here? Is everything okay?" His tone became worried.

I leaned against the railing, he was walking closer and closer to me. "I just need a breath, it's very loud and overwhelming in there. It's making my head hurt." I half lied, I really had come out here to think about Fyodor and his amazingly soft hair. And his beautiful eyes.

There was a long pause, the seconds felt like hours. His eyes didn't leave mine which made my heart race. He had something on his head and it was bothering him. "Koko, what's wrong?" I took a step closer and placed a hand on his bicep like a concerned housewife. I wasn't one of them.

He took a deep breath, "When you came home, you were covered in bruises and hickeys. Oh, and let us not forget about that huge ass handprint bruise on your shoulders." He pointed to the bruise that was turning yellow. A place where Fyodor's hands had once been. My hand instinctively brushed over the bruise, "See and you do that shit all of the time." His voice got higher.

Anger flared in his eyes, "You disappeared for nearly six and a half hours, I was the only person that wasn't playing poker. I was sitting alone in the apartment waiting for you after I got home. I got home when Sanzu was leaving, he gave me minor details, but I got the gist." He took a deep breath, his words were frustrated, "I fell asleep by the time you returned which was around noon maybe, a little bit before everyone else came home drunk and hungover. I only woke because of the commotion Ran made. And the mystery person who helped you stitched you up and healed most of your wounds."

His eyes were sharp, he was hostile. He stepped away, pulling away from my hand. "What the hell happened to you? Why did you disappear for so long?" His face held a confused and angered expression. It was tearing him apart, but I couldn't tell him. Ever.

Fyodor was a secret I had to keep for myself. I sighed and pinched my nose from a headache that was starting to form. "I don't know, I can't remember a single thing. The only thing I remember is seeing a pair of eyes, so violet that it made me question my sight." I paused, his face was twisting with confusion. "I don't know who the person is, but shouldn't we be thankful? They saved me from death."

I was trying my best to convince him with my words, it was working, sort of. He was on the fence about it. He was tense and it showed. "I promise, that's all I know. You know I don't lie unless I have too." I pointed out hoping to convince him further. It was working now.

"Who ever that person was [Y/n], I would probably kiss them. I am beyond grateful, but it was odd that they knew when everyone would be out. And why were they out on the streets so late? It's like he knew, maybe even planned it out or something." He put his hands in his pocket, "It's left so many questions that will probably never be answered."

"I know Koko, I know...if I remember anything I'll tell you right away." I gave him a slight smile to reassure him.

"Okay [y/n]." He was frustrated. I could tell he wanted to help me in every way possible, after all I reminded him of Akane. Which wasn't ideal but I went with it.

He pulled me into a warm hug, his body was keeping my exposed skin warm. I would never tell him about Fyodor as long as I lived and he would have to deal with that.

I would see him again, I would make sure of it. To reassure myself that I'm not going insane.