0.3

My mind was void of thoughts. I felt almost empty; the only thing that was in me was pure confusion, adrenaline, and a steadily rising panic. My alarm's volume was steadily increasing, and I left it alone. The constant *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* was really the only thing keeping me grounded in reality. The rest of me was practically empty; the only thing that was in me was pure confusion, adrenaline, and a steadily rising panic.

Pure confusion, adrenaline, and a steadily rising panic...

Confusion, adrenaline, and a steadily rising panic...

Confusion, adrenaline, and panic...

Confusion. Adrenaline. Panic.

PANIC.

"That wasn't deja-vu..." I whispered to myself, my eyes wide. "That was not deja-vu."

I threw my blankets aside and jumped up so quickly that I had my head spinning more than it already was, leaving my alarm to its *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*ing at top volume.

"There's no way that was a dream, either." I started pacing the length of my room, pulling at my sleep-tangled hair as I stared at my feet. "It was way too vivid. Way too painful."

I suddenly looked up as I said the word "painful". I released my hair and flung open my bedroom door. I ran straight for the bathroom, launching myself onto the counter so that I was sitting right next to the mirror. I threw off my shirt. I angled my arm into the light and examined the skin. I didn't see a single fingermark. No bruising. Not even a twinge of red.

"No, way..."

I pulled my hair apart at the side of my head. No hole. No scar. Not a single spec of blood.

"Wha?"

I turned my face towards the mirror, taking a closer look at my forehead. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.

"But -- but I -- bu -- "

I left my shirt on the floor as I speed walked back to my bedroom. I didn't register that my alarm had gone silent, snoozing itself; I couldn't register it at all.

"But I -- I was -- bank -- Landyn -- Connor -- "

My breathing grew faster, and faster, and faster. I was beginning to hyperventilate without even realizing it.

"Dead!" I shouted as I felt tears start to fall from my eyes. "Connor was. Then I was. Twice! Dead!"

I caught sight of my reflection in the window glass, shirtless with a red, tear-covered face, and I forced myself to shut my mouth tightly.

'Breathe. Jamie, you need to breathe. In through the nose...'

I forced myself into a semi-stable state; I was still freaking out a little on the inside, but I was kind of breathing normally. I leaned back onto the wall, sliding to the floor in exhaustion. I lifted my hands in front of my face. I stared at them. I didn't know what I expected to see, but I didn't see anything new. I mean, they were my hands.

"I died," I said aloud. "I know I did. I died twice. You don't just come back from that."

I put my hands in my lap. I tilted my head back and stared at the ceiling.

"So how did I do it...? I know I didn't try to do it." I narrowed my eyes in thought. "Wait... Who was that guy we learned about in American History? What was it, junior year?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, drumming my hands on my lap. "Rogers? Was that his name?"

I opened my eyes once more, turning to glance at my phone. "Yeah! Steve Rogers, Captain America, Mr. Super Soldier! Maybe it's something like that?"

I scrambled to my feet. I made a beeline to my nightstand and grabbed my phone.

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BE -- *

"Oh shut up..." I turned off the alarm as I scrolled through my contact list. "Come on... J, J, J, J... Okay,"

"Jackson..." I passed my little brother's name.

"Jessie..." I passed my older sister's name.

"Julia!" I tapped on my oldest sister's name, pressing the call button as soon as it was visible.

My oldest sister is a historian that specializes in everything World Wars I and II. She's the smartest woman I had ever met on that front, so if there was anyone that I could ask about Captain America, it was her.

I started pacing once more as I placed my phone against my ear. I listened as it dialed my sister's number. I listened as my sister's phone rang. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to keep my breathing steady.

"C'mon, Jules, pick up..."

. . .

"I'm sorry, but, Julia Van Dalen, is not available. At the tone, plea --"

"Gosh darn it, Jules!" I shouted, interrupting the answering service as I hung up.

I went back to her contact name and dialed her work phone. I listened as it dialed my sister's number. I listened as my sister's phone rang. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when the ringing stopped.

"This is Dr. Van Dalen, American History professor at Moss Creek State University. Can I help you?"

While I was still a nervous wreck, I couldn't help the wave of comfort that washed over me at the sound of my sister's voice.

"Hey, Julia. It's Jamie." I took a shaky breath as I continued pacing. "Listen, are you free right now? I really need to talk to you."

There was a short pause on my sister's end, and I could just picture her nodding, forgetting that I couldn't see her face. "Yeah, sure. Hold on a sec'."

I paused my pacing, taking a moment to tap my toes impatiently. I could hear Julia setting her phone down on her desk. Then I listened as she walked to her office door and, I assume, put up her little sign that says, "In a Meeting", on the wall in the hall. I heard a few more steps before I heard the *CLACK* of her phone tapping against her earring.

"What's up, Jamie?"

I froze in place, suddenly feeling my throat clamp shut at the thought that I was actually doing this; I was going to tell someone that I had actually died, twice, and woke up in bed, perfectly fine.

"Jamie?"

I cleared my throat. "Hey, umm -- " I cleared my throat once more when my voice cracked.

"Jamie, are you okay? What's wrong? What happened?" I heard the worry practically dripping from her voice.

"Nothing happened." I answered instinctively at the sound. "I'm fine." Then I stopped myself. "Nevermind, I'm pretty sure I'm not okay."

I smiled, laughing nervously. I walked towards my bed and sat down. Then I held my head in my free hand, taking a deep breath.

"Jamie, talk to me. What happened?"

I had no idea how I was going to explain anything to my sister; my brain had kind of shut down. I just let the words spill out.

"So, umm, you know about Captain America, right?" I asked.

"Jamie, you're freaking me out a little. Do you need me to come over?"

"Please, Jules, can you just answer the question for me?"

"Yes, I know about Captain America. I've written, like, seven papers on him. Why?"

"How did he get to be super strong? Like, where did his powers come from?"

I heard Julia sigh. "Well, the US Military had this program called 'Project Rebirth', and -- "

"Can you give me the short-and-simple, please?"

"Steve Rogers let the government do experiments on him. Jamie, what -- "

"So, uh, I wasn't experimented on as a kid, or anything, right?"

"No, Jamie! What the heck is going on? You're scaring me here!"

. . .

"Jamie...?"

I took another shaky breath, standing back up and walking towards the bathroom in silence.

"Jamie, please, tell me what's going on with you."

I stopped in front of the mirror. I stared at myself as I held my phone to my ear.

"I..." I took a deep, calming breath before I finished. "I think I may have superpowers."

. . .

"Jamie, I -- "

"I know, it sounds crazy, but hear me out!"

I held my hand out as if I were talking to Julia's face; the movement and seeing myself in the mirror, surprisingly, gave me a small boost of confidence.

"So, I woke up to go to the bank, right? Well, I showed up, talked to Mckinna and Landyn for a little bit. You remember them? Anyway, then these bank robbers showed up."

Julia didn't say a word as I started rambling.

"They ended up shooting Connor, you know, Mckinna's husband, and they almost shot Landyn, too. I panicked, and I tried to stop them, but then I got shot... Julia, I died today. But get this, I woke up again, this morning, without a single scratch! I didn't think anything about it. You know, deja-vu, or something. I went back to the bank, but I already knew that Connor was gonna get shot. I stopped it by taking his place as a hostage, but then the cops showed up, and I ended up getting shot again! And then I woke up in my bed this morning, again!

"I don't know how, but every time I die, my whole day is being reset! Kinda like that movie 'Groundhog day'. You remember that movie? I just don't know what to do, and I'm freaking out, here! Julia, what do I do?!"

"First off," Julia stopped me, making me realize that I had started crying and hyperventilating once again. "Take a deep breath. In through the nose,"

I breathed in.

"out through the mouth."

I breathed out. Then, after repeating the cycle a few more times, Julia told me to sit down. I trudged towards the toilet, lowering the lid and sitting down. I gripped the phone loosely in my hand. If I had truly been present, I probably would've been afraid that I'd drop the thing.

"Julia, I'm scared..." I admitted softly, staring at the tile floor below me. "What's happening to me?"

My sister was silent for a moment, but then I heard her sigh. "Part of me really wants to say you should see a therapist..."

For a moment, I felt my heart breaking.

My sister didn't believe me...

"But,"

'But?'

"You've never lied to me before. You'd never tell me something like this, even as a joke."

I let out a hollow chuckle. At least my sister had my back.

"Plus," She continued. "You're having powers would actually make a lot of sense."

My eyes narrowed in confusion. "Wait, make sense? Julia, how in the world does any of this make sense to you?"

"Well," She said slowly. "When we were kids, there were times where you seemed to know what would happen before it did, you know?"

I was silent as she explained.

"And it was always on a day that something big happened. There was one time when you were six, and we had gone to visit dad's stepmom in Alaska. We went ice skating on a frozen lake, and you and Jessie had skated in a spot where the ice was super thin. There was this tree that had branches hanging over the ice, too, and the tree itself was rotting. You had pushed Jessie out of the way just before one of the branches fell. It broke a hole in the ice. If you hadn't done that, the water would have pulled both of you under the ice. Both of you would have probably died... But, if you did die, then you would've known that branch was going to fall, and you could have lived that second time around."

I stared blankly at the wall, slowly sitting up. "I -- I did that? I can't remember any of that..."

"And that wasn't the only time, either." Julia continued. "There was that time we went hiking with our cousins. There was the time when you went to Prom and walked home alone. There was the time when Jackson was three and -- "

"And I stopped him from playing with the oven!"

I remembered.

"I thought that the house fire was just some twisted nightmare..."

"But it actually happened..." My sister's voice faded as we both realized what was going on.

This wasn't the first or even the second time I had died. I'd already died so many times before, and I always woke up without a scratch as if the "day before" had never happened.

"So... Was I born like this?" I almost whispered with how quietly I had asked this question.

"I would guess so... I don't know, Jamie. I really don't."

I stood back up, walking back in front of the mirror. I almost didn't recognize myself. Nothing had changed on the outside, but I felt like an entirely different person. Knowing that I was practically invincible, I didn't really know what that meant for me. What was I supposed to do with my life, knowing that I couldn't die?

"So, what are you gonna do?" Jamie asked, her uncertainty leaking out of every word.

"I have no idea, Jules..." I sighed, leaving my bathroom once more to stand in front of my bedroom window. "I know that people are going to die today, and I've already failed to stop it twice. Should I just stay out of it? Hopefully, get out of this loop?"

I felt sick to my stomach as those words left my mouth. But I continued anyway as I stared out at the street.

"I mean, what if I just can't save any of them? What if I can't stop this one? Preventing a housefire is pretty different from stoping a bank robbery with no real negotiations or martial arts training, or whatever..."

"I wouldn't blame you for getting out, Jamie..."

I glanced at my van in the driveway.

"But, my little sister has never been one to leave people behind either. I love you, and I trust you to do what you think is right."

. . .

"I love you, too." I smiled sadly, hanging up without another word; I had a feeling that my sister wouldn't remember this phone call.

Quickly changing into a random t-shirt and a pair of jeans, I ran straight through the house, the front door, and towards my van. I jumped in and started the car. I didn't bother with the aux cord, I didn't bother with my hair, I didn't bother with the speed limit. Thankfully, I didn't have to run any red lights, like I would have cared anyway. I turned into the bank parking lot, parking next to an old, black van with tinted windows and a missing license plate.

I could vaguely hear people talking inside the other van, and I glanced at the clock; it was seven fifty-eight.

I gripped the wheel tightly.

'I have to stop this, now. Before they can even get inside.'

I glanced at the other van. It seemed like they were waiting for me to go inside.

'What if I just called the cops now? If they get impatient and go in before I do, I can just distract them until the cops show up, right?'

I grabbed my phone from my pocket, instantly dialing 911.

"911, what's the nature of your emergency?" A woman answered.

'Play it cool, Jamie. The robbery hasn't happened yet, you're just concerned.'

"Hi, I'm in front of the Third Parish Bank in Moss Creek. There's this dark van in the parking lot with a bunch of people sitting inside."

I tried not to panic as I saw the van shift from someone moving inside.

"I was about to go in when I heard them start talking about having weapons ready. Like, they have weapons in the van with them and they're getting ready for something."

I glanced at the clock again. "I've been sitting in my van for about ten minutes and they haven't moved. It's like they're waiting for me to go in before they get out, and I'm kind of freaking out. I didn't know who I needed to call."

"Alright, ma'am, can you tell me the model of van these people are sitting in?" The responder asked.

"Uhh, yes, ma'am. It's a -- "

My breath hitched in my throat as the leader stepped out of the back of the other van, a pistol with a suppressor in hand. I tried not to draw attention to myself as I continued.

"It's a GMC Safari, but a man just got out, and he has a gun."

I glanced at him once more, he was heading towards my van's driver's side.

"He's walking towards my van."

I leaned back in my seat, trying to look natural as the man got closer and closer.

"Alright, ma'am, I need you to -- "

I saw the man wave at me, and I quickly interrupted the responder. "I'm sorry, ma'am, he's trying to get my attention. I'll put you on speakerphone and set my phone down. I don't want him to know I called."

I did just as I told her I would, and I sighed in relief when she stayed silent. I placed my phone on my dash screen-down. I rolled down my window. I smiled at the man as if I had never seen him before.

"Hello, sir." I greeted him, leaning in the window. "Can I help you?"

The man smiled right back, and I had to fight myself not to flinch at the look in his eye.

"Yes, ma'am. I was just wondering who you were talking to. You looked pretty nervous." As he spoke, I noticed he gestured a lot with his hand holding the gun.

I waved a hand. "Oh, that was an old friend from college."

'And what do you tell him now, genius???'

"Oh?" The man was standing right next to the door now. "And what did they want?"

I desperately hoped that my smile didn't look stale as I lied through my teeth. "I came to the bank to get a loan for a bakery. Well, he majored in business, and he thinks I'm making a big mistake. He was trying to convince me to abandon all of my 'bakery plans'."

I forced out a small laugh, and I was slightly relieved when the man did the same.

"Oh, yeah," He said. "I feel that. I mean, my dad wasn't too happy when I told him I wanted to rob a bank."

My smile faltered. "What?"

"Speaking of big mistakes," He continued, lifting his pistol's muzzle to my chest. "I'm pretty sure calling the cops was one of them. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I can't have you messing up my big plans, now. You understand."

*BANG*

The next thing I knew, I was lying back between the driver's and passenger's seats of my van. I was having trouble seeing, I was having trouble breathing, and I was having trouble hearing the 911 responder as she tried to keep me awake through my phone. The robbers were already inside. I had failed.

I didn't bother trying to breathe anymore as an ambulance and the police showed up. I don't even remember being lifted out of my seat.

I heard the sirens.

Then everything went dark.