Chapter Thirty-Nine: Love And Monsters

Around five hundred lightyears away, a young man named Elton Pope was returning to the Powell Estate with two pizzas. But when he got there, Jackie Tyler was waiting for him outside, his coat in her arms. 

"Right, let's get inside then," he said, confused. "The pizza's getting cold." 

Jackie glared at him. "I went in your coat," she admitted. "For once in my life, I thought I'll pay. I thought he's such a nice man, he won't accept anything, so I'll just slip a tenner in his pocket. And look what I found. A photograph of my daughters." She brandished the image, a black and white photo of the girls as they had been on Christmas Day, when the Sycorax had come to Earth. 

Elton's eyes widened, recognising the image he had found. "No, no, no, no, no, it's not like that! I can explain!" 

"Of course you can," Jackie sneered at him. 

"I wasn't being pervy or anything," he tried. "I wasn't after them, I was looking for the Doctor." 

"Oh, I know that," she scoffed. "I worked that out. 'Cause it's never me, is it?" 

Elton bit his lip. "No, but that's how it started, but I changed my mind!" 

"Let me tell you something about those who get left behind," Jackie snapped. "Because it's hard. And that's what you become, hard. But if there's one thing I've learnt, it's that I will never let them down. And I'll protect them all—my Rose and my Alex and her Doctor—until the end of my life! So whatever you want, I'm warning you. Back off!"

Elton wilted. "But Jackie, I only wanted to meet him." 

Jackie shook her head, her anger melting into hurt. "I thought you liked me." 

"I do," Elton tried. 

She shook her head. "Just get out of here. I said, get out! And leave me alone!" She turned and ran into the flat, and as Elton walked away outside, Jackie picked up her mobile phone. 

***

It had become clear to Alex that her phone was destined to ring only at the most inopportune of moments. Last week, it had been partway the coronation of Victoria—which had been a difficult one to explain to the new Queen. This time, she was being chased by a Hoix. A snarling, vicious, flesh-eating Hoix. 

Naturally. 

And even more naturally, she had just been doused in a lovely blue bucket of chemicals. She was freezing. But still, she answered the call, and she tried to sound as normal as possible, hoping against hope that the Hoix's growls weren't transmitting. "Hello?" 

Behind her, the Doctor and Rose were dealing with the Hoix in an escapade that would have reminded her of Scooby Doo had she not been concentrating fully on her mother's frantically recounted tale. "He had a picture of us? What's his name?" 

With the Hoix subdued, the Doctor and Rose came over, alerted by Alex's concerned expression. "No, no, no, don't worry about it," she was saying, waving a hand redundantly. "We'll sort it. Love you too." She ended the call, biting her lip. 

"What's happened?" Rose asked. 

Alex looked up at them both, her expression grim. "A man named Elton Pope." She turned her gaze on the Doctor. "And he was looking for you."

*** 

Later, the TARDIS landed in a small alleyway in the backstreets of London. The Doctor was the first to step out, his eyes skirting the landscape and the grotesque half-naked alien before landing on Elton Pope. He raised an eyebrow. "Someone wants a word with you." 

"You upset my mum!" Rose accused, stepping out of the TARDIS next. Alex followed, looking just as angry. 

Elton stared, dumbfounded. "Great big absorbing creature from outer space... and you're having a go at me?"

Alex's eyes flashed with barely concealed anger. "No one upsets our mum." 

"At last!" the alien crowed, his eyes on the TARDIS and the man leaning against its doors. "The greatest feast of all. The Doctor." 

"Interesting," the Doctor mused. "A sort of Absorbatrix? Absorbaclon? Absorbaloff?" 

"Absorbaloff, yes," the creature agreed. 

"Is it me, or does he look a bit... Slitheen?" Rose said, lowering her voice. 

The Doctor raised his eyebrows, seeing the resemblance. "Hmm. Not from Raxacoricofallapatorius, are you?" 

"No, I'm not!" the Absorbaloff spat. "They're swine! I spit on them! I was born on their twin planet." 

Alex blinked. "What's the twin planet of Raxacoricofallapatorius, then?" 

"Clom," the Absorbaloff replied. 

"Clom?" the Doctor echoed, sighing in disappointment. 

"Clom, yes. And I'll return there victorious, once I possess your travelling machine."  

"Well, that's never going to happen," the Doctor told him matter-of-factly. 

"Oh, it will," the Absorbaloff smirked. "You'll surrender yourself to me, Doctor, or this one dies. You see, I've read about you, Doctor. I've studied you. So passionate, so sweet. You wouldn't let an innocent man die. And I'll absorb him, unless you give yourself to me."  

The Doctor made a face, scratching the back of his head. "Sweet? Maybe. Passionate? I suppose. But don't ever mistake that for nice." He shrugged. "Do what you want." 

The Absorbaloff missed a beat. "He'll die, Doctor." 

"Go on, then." 

"So be it."

"Mind you, the others might have something to say," the Doctor said casually.

The Absorbaloff paused, looking at Rose and Alex. "Others?"

The face on the Absorbaloff's chest piped up. "He's right. The Doctor's right. We can't let him. Oh, Mr Skinner, Bridget, pull!"

"No!" the Absorbaloff cried as the faces began to stretch away from its body.

"For God's sake, pull!"

"No, don't—get off, get off!"

"If it's the last thing we ever do. Bliss! All of us together. Come on, pull!"

"Stop it!"

"LINDA united, pull!"

The Absorbaloff dropped his cane, and the face shouted, "Elton, the cane. Break it!"

Obediently, Elton grabbed the cane and snapped it across his knee. A ball of white energy surged out, and the clasped hands at the top opened. 

"My cane!" the Absorbaloff cried. "You stupid man! Oh, no!" The Absorbaloff liquefied and was absorbed by the paving slabs.

"What did I do?" Elton asked, shell-shocked.

"The cane created a limitation field. Now it's broken, he can't stop. The absorber is being absorbed," the Doctor explained.

"By what?"

"By the Earth."

As the last of the Absorbaloff-goo dribbled away, a face appeared in one of the slabs, managing to say goodbye to Elton before fading away.

"Who was she?" Rose asked in a considerably softer tone than she had spoken with earlier.

When Elton spoke, it was with a cracked voice. "That was Ursula." 

***

Later, they were sat on some stone steps a few metres away from where it had all come to pass.

"You don't remember, do you?" the Doctor asked, his voice grim. At Elton's confused look, he continued. "There was a shadow in your house. A living shadow in the darkness. An elemental shade had escaped from the Howling Halls. I stopped it, but I wasn't in time to save her. I'm sorry." They watched as Elton's expression turned to one of grief as he remembered finding his mother dead. The Doctor set his jaw. "You've lost enough already." And with that, he ran over to the patch where the Absorbaloff had been absorbed.

Elton, Rose, and Alex shared a look. "He does that a lot," Alex said eventually.  

"If I can key into the absorption matrix and separate the last victim. It's too late for total reconstruction, but..." The Doctor looked up at the confused trio. "Elton! Fetch a spade!"

***

"Will they be alright, d'you think?" Alex wondered later that evening. "I mean, he's a bloke, she's a paving slab... Does concrete count as girlfriend material?" 

"It's up to them," the Doctor replied, shrugging. "It's all just about choices. Things are never going to be easy for them, but that doesn't mean they're doomed. It just means the stars will shine brighter when they see them through the dark." 

"Not that Ursula has too many options," Alex pointed out, biting her lip. "I'd imagine the dating scene for a paving slab is pretty deserted. Who wants to date someone who'll live for hundreds of years?" 

The Doctor laced their fingers together, making her look up at him. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "I meant what I said. I just want you." 

Alex smiled, but it didn't quite hide the insecurity behind her eyes. "Yeah." 

***

You know, when you're a kid, they tell you it's all grow up, get a job, get married, get a house, have a kid, and that's it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker, and so much madder. 

And so much better.