Chapter 126

Katniss

*3 months later* 

I wake from a heavy sleep, something that I now treasure, as it so rarely occurs. I don't mind much. I've gone without sleep before, and I love spending as much time as I can with my now three-month-old daughter. I worry for Peeta, though. I know that he rarely sleeps. He takes care of Willow during the night because I know he wants me to sleep. But I'm not the one working. Sure, I hunt, but I haven't been able to shoot much within the past few months. My mother refused to let me out of the house for about a two and a half weeks after I had Willow, despite my protests. Although, Peeta hasn't worked much lately either. I know that he could probably reduce his work load to about once a week, which isn't too far off from what it has been lately. We still have so much money, though it has been declining recently. I guess it's just because I haven't been able to hunt and Peeta hasn't worked as much as he used to, a long with the fact that we now have one more person to take care of. She may be tiny, but she's costly. 

I push the thick cream-colored sheets away from my body and slip on a cotton robe. I twist my hair into a knot at the bottom of my neck and quietly tip-toe downstairs. Peeta stands in the kitchen, dimly lit by the light of the rising sun. I wrap my arms around his middle from behind and stand on my toes to put my chin on his shoulder. He's holding a document, which I don't get a chance to see because he folds it up too quickly. I think, for a second though, that I caught a glimpse of the Capitol seal. "What is that?" I ask, moving to face him. Before he can do anything, I snatch the letter from his grasp and smooth it out. I was right; there on the inside is the inked mark of the seal that I loathe so much. 

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Mellark, 

The Capitol gives you both our highest congratulations. As you probably are aware, we will be hosting our annual memorial here in the Capitol, in 8 days time. As it is the 10th anniversary of the end of the war and The Hunger Games, we truly hope that both of you, and your new child, are able to attend. Of course, we cannot expect you to go out of your way to be here, but we believe that it would truly honor those who fought so couragously in the rebellion; those who fought for your cause. 

Once again, we aren't forcing you to attend the memorial, but we do hope to see you here next week. 

Thank you and congratulations again, yours truly,

Ceasar Flickerman

I don't take my eyes from the letter. When I finish reading, I crumple the fragile paper in my fist. Peeta stops me before I send the letter into the fire. "Katniss wait," he says, grabbing hold of my wrist. 

"What?" I spit. "Don't tell me you're actually considering this, Peeta. They're just using this as an excuse to advertise our daughter across Panem. I won't let them! She's three months old!" 

"I know, but you know we can't get out of this," he says.

"Like hell we can't!" I hiss, tossing the crumpled piece of paper to the floor. "I can't bring her there. . .She's too young. I don't want to start this already. I thought we'd at least have some time. . ." I think of the Capitol people, their extending arms, reaching out to try to touch my newborn daughter. I shudder at the thought of them. Willow is mine, not theirs. They aren't worthy of seeing her, loving her. 

"We have to consider it, at least," Peeta tells me. His grip is still tight around my hand, though I've dropped the paper. I can still see the edge of the seal. I kick the paper ball away from my sight. 

"Why? Why should we?" I ask. 

"Because, Caesar was right. We should be there for the people who are dead. What about Finnick? Wouldn't he want us to be there? And Rue? Prim? Ruth?" 

"Don't, Peeta!" I cry, shutting my eyes tight. 

"I'm sorry," he says, pulling me into a comforting embrace. "But you know it's true." 

"I don't," I say. "They just said that to guilt us into going. It's just another game. And I can't involve Willow in it, not this early." 

"I know, I don't want her to be a part of this either, but she is. From the moment you volunteered for Prim, this game began and she got involved. It hasn't changed and it never will. I know that I told you I didn't want to be a piece in their games, but I don't think we can escape it either. But Snow is dead, and the games are gone. This is a memorial, a celebration. I think that it would be right for us to be there," Peeta says. I sigh into his chest, listening to his heart beat. 

"Fine, I'll do it. But my mother has to come with; Haymtich too," I say. "And if I can't stay there, we leave."

"I can agree to that. Thank you," he says, kissing the top of my head. 

***

Seven days later Peeta, Willow, my mother, Haymitch, and Effie, who insisted upon being there, and I stand waiting at the train station in the square. I gaze back towards the direction of the Victor's Village, terrified that I won't come back. Or, if I do, things will have changed. I look down at my sleeping daughter, who I hold gingerly in my arms. How will I react to people wanting to get a look at her? How will she react? Will this scar her for the rest of her life? No, I decide, it couldn't. She's only a few months old, she won't remember this. 

Her eyes flutter open and her lips spread into a smile when she sees me. She begins speaking in baby babble and I can't help but smile too. Within the last few weeks, she has begun to become talkative and she's even acquired the strength to lift her head and roll over on the floor. Willow reaches out and wraps her fist around my thumb. 

Within seconds, the train comes silently to a stop in the station. I take a deep breath and step into the main car. I'm immediately sent back in time to the games, and I think I stop breathing for a few seconds. How will I manage this? I focus my eyes on Willow again, whose smile has disappeared and she now looks at me, a confused and wonder in her diamond blue eyes. Those eyes, which make my heart melt every time I see them. They're the same eyes that I see in Peeta, the ones that I always have. He says that Willow looks like me, but personally, I see Peeta in her. Besides, her dark brown curls, I can't see a resemblance between us. 

I sit against a large window in the corner of the car, Willow sitting upright on my lap. She wears a dress her aunt Effie personally picked out. The only one I let her pick, for that matter. It's a ruffled pink thing dress with white leggings that go down to her knees, along with a white flower headband that stretches across her forehead. I think that she's the most beautiful human being I've ever seen. 

Peeta sits beside me, tickling Willow's cheeks, practically begging her for a smile. For a while, I watch Peeta in amazement. He's so good at being a father, I'm surprised he let me wait this long. No, actually, I'm not surprised. When I see him look at Willow and I, I know how much he loves us both. I know he would wait an eternity for her, just because of how much he loves me. I hope that he sees the same love from my eyes as I do from his. 

Peeta continues to play with Willow, desperately trying to make her laugh. I glance up and notice Effie and Haymitch sitting unusually close to each other. I don't take much note of it, though I do find it odd. 

When I look out the window behind us, I realize how long we must have been on this train. Because in the distance, I can make out the bright and shiny buildings of the Capitol. Peeta notices my sudden silence and sees it too. We grow closer and closer to the place I loathe most with every second. I can't seem to form words, or breathe for that matter. I hand Willow to my mother and return to our seat. I can't seem to take my eyes off of the buildings. Peeta intertwines his fingers with mine, as if saying, it's going to be okay. I look at him, knowing that this must be just as hard for him as it is for me. My stomach drops as we sail over the hydroelectric dam and into the Capitol. I turn my back to the window and rest my head against Peeta's chest, once again relying on the steady beat of his heart to calm me. 

YAY NEW CHAPTER!!! 

This was kind of a filler chapter, but don't worry, so much is going to come. ;) 

Anways, DID YOU GUYS SEE MOCKINGJAY BECAUSE I DID AND NO I AM NOT OKAY IN FACT I AM EMOTIONALLY TRAUMATIZED AND JUST NOPENOPENOPENOPE

I didn't know it was possible to feel so helpless while watching a movie. . . 

So definitely comment or message me if you want to talk about it/get your feelings out because I 100% have a lot of them. 

Hope you liked this chapter!!!

Love y'all <3

-booklover2019