Chapter 70

Peeta

I watch her leave, out the back door and into the woods. Haymitch agreed to go with her. And Katniss let him come because he's not her favorite person. But I know she thinks of Haymitch as an uncle, maybe even a father. That's what confuses me. Why did she let him come with her, but not me? I guess that's how I know how much she loves me. And that's what makes me feel guilty. It's like I don't love her enough because I let her go. I let her go out to risk her life. And I know if she dies, it will be my fault for not stopping her.

After I can't see Haymitch and Katniss anymore, I turn on my heel. She asked me to stall for her. She said to tell them that she got the flu and is now lying in bed, sick. I sit down in a chair and watch the Games. It's almost over. Just a little while left to go. There are only seven tributes left. One of Katniss' just died. I only have Ty left, I think. The others all have two now.

I close my eyes to try and block out the world around me. I try to find peace in this moment. I try to find a little bit of sanity inside me. Katniss is the only thing I have left and I don't know where she is. She could be killed at any moment. If someone saw her, she'd be dead, Snow's soldier or not. I shift uncomfortably, suddenly sick to my stomach just thinking about her glossy gray eyes and cold skin, her mouth hanging hauntingly open. I place my head in my head to try to get the image out of my head. "Peeta?" I turn to see Delly Cartwright standing in the doorway. I stand, pretending to be strong and brave. It's an act I do for everyone now. Everyone except Katniss. I don't need to act for her. Delly wraps her arms around me and I step back, surprised. Then I get it through my mind that she's just being friendly and I hug back. She knows I love Katniss. The whole world does.

"How are you?" she asks, a smile on her face.

"Not bad," I lie, putting on a fake smile. She takes and deep breath and looks around at our surroundings. This is probably her first visit to the glamorous Capitol. "You?"

"I'm great. I've been working all over Panem to rebuild the Districts. It's great meeting new people," she says. Delly has such a kind heart. When I was younger, my brothers used to say that she would be a good girlfriend for me. There was also a rumor that she had a crush on me, but I never actually did anything. I had my eyes on a certain dark-haired, gray-eyed Seam girl.

"So what are you doing here?" I ask.

"They asked me to come. Said you started to get bad flashbacks again."

"They come and go," I say quietly, embarrassed. She nods and plays with her hair.

"It was wonderful seeing you, Peeta. Where's Katniss?" she asks. I don't want to lie. I should just tell Delly the truth.

"She has the flu. I wouldn't go see her if I were you," I say, using Katniss' lie. Delly gives me a sympathetic nod and guilt fills my heart.

"I should be going," she says and I nod in return. She smiles one more time and leaves the room. I'm left in complete silence.

_____

Katniss

I embark into the woods with Haymitch beside me. I turn once more to see Peeta sadly watching us leave. I don't have second thoughts. We both know this is what I have to do. "I know I don't deserve him," I say, interrupting the silence between Haymitch and I.

"What?" he asks, taking a swig of his 'carry-on' alcohol.

"When they announced the Quell," I pause to step over a fallen log. "You said I could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve Peeta. I know. I don't."

"And you're just now bringing this up because. . ." I don't speak after that. I don't know why I'm bringing it up. I'm just telling him that's he's right. I don't deserve Peeta, and I never will. "Well, I stand by my statement. But I know he loves you more than anything. So I would recommend starting to show the same to him, sweetheart."

My cheeks grow warm and I feel a surge of anger towards him. I love Peeta. Haymitch knows that, yet he had to say it anyway. Maybe it's true, though. I know I love Peeta with all my heart but do I really show it? I guess I'll never really know. "So, where do we plan on going?" Haymitch asks. I have no idea, really. I assume the President knows where Snow is now. Maybe she's in jail. It would make things a little harder on my part since the prison is guarded, but who knows, maybe they'll let me kill her.

"We go to the President's mansion. Find out where Fiona is. I get a bow. I kill her."

"Well, it's an optimistic plan. Not a smart one, but I'll give you that."

"Don't make me regret dragging you with me," I say bitterly.

"I wasn't the one who wanted to come along." I roll my eyes and keep walking, trying to reduce the loudness of crunching leaves beneath my feet. That's another reason why I didn't want Peeta to follow me. He's too loud with his prosthetic leg.

After an hour of walking in the hot woods, we got to the President's Mansion. "Well, you certainly know your directions," Haymitch says, peering through the greenery. I take a long drink of water from a canteen I brought with me. I move a branch away from my path and step forward. I can't be seen here. I undo my hair from its braid and try to push it over my face. Haymitch covers his head with the hood of his jacket. We dash across the lawn and onto the President's front steps. A guard stands in our way. Haymitch and I lift our heads to show him who we are. He nods and lets us enter. I stand taller when we get to the safety of indoors. "Miss Everdeen, Mr. Abernathy." We turn to see the President standing before us.

"President Tamor. Thank you for allowing us to be here," Haymitch says. Tamor. That's his name. Haymitch and Tamor shake hands. He gives me a friendly smile and shakes my hand also.

"It's really no problem. I'm honored to meet you two, brave, brave souls." I have to keep from gagging at how cliche' he is. But other than that, he seems decent. "So, what can I help you with?"

"Katniss wanted to know where exactly Fiona Snow is located," Haymitch says. Tamor's smile turns down at the mention of Snow.

"Why exactly is that, Miss Everdeen?" he asks, his mood suddenly terrifying. I bite the inside of my cheek. I can't tell him the truth. But what other option do I have?

"We want to know where she is so we know that we're safe. Recently, we. . .they ambushed us, during the Games. They killed a few people." I refrain from saying Ruth specifically. I'm sure the pain in my voice tells him enough.

"I can assure you, you are safe. We are aware of the issue that has recently, and tragically, happened."

"Where is she?" I ask again. Tamor sighs and furrows his eyebrows.

"She's surrounded by guards in a cell-house closer to District 1. She won't be getting out any time soon." Okay. That's a start. But how am I supposed to get there? He said its surrounded by guards. I have no choice but to just come out with it.

"I need to kill her," I say. I hear Haymitch sigh beside me.

"I'm sorry?" Tamor says.

"She killed an eleven year old girl in the ambush. She killed so many and the only way I can have a little bit of piece of mind that my loved ones will be safe is that if she's dead." Tamor's mouth is left hung open.

"Okay. That is reasonable. But don't you want the execution to be public?" he asks. I'm surprised that he agrees with me. I'm most definitely not used to being friendly with the president.

"No. I want to do it myself. Right now."

"I'm going to need to send an army with you. There's a chance some of her soldiers could randomly show up, and we can't have the Mockingjay dead, now can we?" he says with a weak smile. I nod reluctantly. I don't want anyone else there, but I'm happy Tamor agreed with me.

"They stay outside when I go in. I want to be the only one there when she dies."

"Anything else?"

"I don't want to shoot her with a gun. I'm using a bow. I only need one arrow, like the last time I was going to kill her grandfather."

"Are you sure, you-"

"No. One arrow," I repeat. Tamor nods.

"I'll contact the guards," he says. Haymitch and I are left in silence when he leaves. When he returns moments later, four guards are walking behind him. "These are your guards. Haymitch, will you being going with?"

"Yes," I state before he has the chance to speak.

"Yes. I will," Haymitch says. Tamor hands me a bow with a sheath containing one arrow.

"Good luck," he says.

"I don't need luck," I say. Haymitch gives Tamor a polite nod and I leave the mansion, followed by my four guards and Haymitch.

"Miss Everdeen," I hear one of the guards say behind me. I keep walking, though. He catches up with me. "You don't even know where you're going. Please, let me lead the way." I pause and let him go ahead. The three other guards surround me and we walk in a small cluster.

We walk for what seems like forever, until we finally come to a hill with a tiny gray shack on top. There are guards everywhere. I count seven on the bottom of the hill, eight in the middle, and about fifteen surrounding the collapsing building. "You come with me until we get to the second set of guards. Then I walk up the rest of the way." I fix my hand's position on my bow and begin the trek up the hill. "Let's go," I say.