Chapter 33

Peeta

I look into Katniss' eyes. They are filled with fear. I'm pressing up against her, pushing her into the hovercraft wall. I realize my nails are still digging into her wrist. I had a flashback. My breath gets caught in my throat.

I look at my hand. Filled with blood. Katniss' blood. My stomach drops like a rock in water. "Katniss I'm so sorry!" I say. The guards begin to walk quickly towards us. They take my arms and pin them behind me.

I hurt Katniss. I caused blood to fall from her arm. I caused her pain. I'm a horrible, horrible person. I am the mutt, not her.

***

I sit in the tall grass, the pointed tips softly brushing over my arms in the calm, soft wind. Katniss didn't follow me when I walked over here. I'm glad. I can't hurt her again.

I stare at the clouds, making pictures like I did as a kid. I picture the blue sky as a canvas, white blobs splattered everywhere.

"Peeta," a voice behind me says. I jump at first because I didn't even hear the person walk over here. I turn to see who it is. Haymitch stands before me, shielding his bloodshot eyes from the sun. I turn back around, not saying anything. This isn't like me, ignoring someone, but I don't feel like speaking. The guilt begins to fill my heart and spread across my body like wildfire.

With some effort, Haymitch sits on the ground beside me. I press my hands on the dry dirt and look up at the sky. "Katniss is tough you know. She isn't hurt that badly," he says. "She's been through a whole lot worse."

"I still hurt her. Whether she feels it or not," I say, bitterly.

"She's worried about you," Haymitch says, fairly harsh. "We all are." I don't say anything after that. Haymitch sighs for a long time. "She's really starting to rub off on you." He gets up and moseyes back over to the others.

She's really starting to rub off on you. What does he mean? Her personality? Most likely. I have been acting pretty stubborn, one of Katniss's most well known traits.

Footsteps begin getting closer. Haymitch back to lecture me? No. He wouldn't make that much effort to walk all the way over to me, go back, and then come and sit again. I know who it is.

"Hey," Katniss says, sitting down. My heart sinks a touch when I see the white bandage wrapped around the lower part of her arm. I don't speak. I just look up at the clouds, wishing I could fly away in them. Katniss looks up too.

"Look at that cloud," she says, pointing to the particularly large one to our right.

"When I was younger I always thought that they were strong enough to walk on," I say. I have the tiniest shade of a smile lingering on my face. "I used to think that if you stepped on one it would be bouncy and soft." Katniss laughs and looks at me. I stare into her grey eyes and she looks into my blue ones. Our heads slowly begin to get closer until they touched. Katniss pushes her lips onto mine.

"Finally," Haymitch says obnoxiously. "You two lovebirds made up. We can start filming again and get the hell out of here." He's obviously drunk. Katniss shoots him an angry glare, but I sigh. I may have made up with Katniss, but certainly not myself.

"I thought we were done filming," Katniss says.

"Well, we aren't sweetheart. They want more footage of you two madly in love with each other," he says, shrugging slightly. I look at Katniss who definitely does not look like her happier self. I stand and grab Katniss' hand, pulling her up.

We walk a few feet behind the staggering Haymitch. Katniss gasps. My head immediately shoots towards her. But there is no danger. Just a small weed that young children mistake as a flower. Katniss bends over and picks up the dandelion. I remember both of us in the schoolyard. It was just after I tossed her the bread in the rain. She was in a grassy area and she bent over and picked up a dandelion. I wasn't sure why. I assumed, like so many others she thought it was a flower, and she wanted to bring it to her mother or her sister.

"A dandelion?" I ask. She's smiling, staring down at the yellow flower part. Dandelion milk is dripping onto her hand, causing the weed to stick to her.

"The first one I've seen," she says, nodding. I take it from her hands and place it behind her ear. She smiles, and so do I. Katniss pulls me into her arms. I'm assuming the camera crew is filming all of this. But this time, it's all real.