Dog Days Emsiecat

Summary:

Prompt by bagginshieldhappiness: Modern AU where they meet when they bring their dogs to obedience training. The dogs look comically similar to their owners.

Chapter Text

Roäc was not a bad dog, not in the slightest. The problem was that the young Husky cross was simply far too intelligent for his own good and he damn well knew it too.

If there was mischief to be had, Roäc would find it. If there was a house rule to break, Roäc would probably break it (much to the amused delight of Thorin's nephews). Dis's prized flowers dug up (they were rather ugly, Roäc was doing them a favour in Thorin's opinion), couch chewed (it was old, Thorin didn't like it anyway), neighbours barked at (they were snobs, no loss there), and food cupboards ingeniously raided (see, intelligent).

Dís had finally put her foot down though, and insisted Thorin take Roäc to obedience classes. "If he's so damned smart, he should have no problem picking up the lessons."

Thus, Thorin found himself bullied into going to the town hall that Thursday evening to participate in a dog obedience class. His dear sister had signed Roäc up as soon as she'd seen the advert in the newspaper and Thorin resigned himself to his fate of having to record that new documentary series he'd wanted to watch about Vikings for the next six weeks or however long it took for Roäc to become a 'model canine citizen'.

And frankly, Thorin wondered what he was even doing here. Roäc seemed to agree judging from his piteous whine. Thorin glanced down by his feet to see his dog had apparently given up the will to live and had flopped onto his stomach, the very picture of abject doggie misery... Thorin strongly shared his sentiments. There were nine other people and their dogs in the hall, and Thorin felt Roäc was probably a saint in comparison to these other hellions (not that he was biased or anything).

Two dogs were barking non-stop at one another, looking as if at any moment they might slip their leads, lunge, and go for the other's jugular. Several were straining in their owners' grips, twisting themselves and others in their leads, sniffing inappropriate things, and drooling everywhere. Two were... well Thorin just hoped they were fixed, judging by the horror on their owners' faces as they tried to call their dogs back, puppies were not actually what was wanted to be gained from coming here. Another dog was... he really was peeing against that curtain wasn't he, and the owner seemed utterly oblivious. Thorin just hoped the cleaners of this place had some good disinfectant they could use before yoga class started tomorrow morning.

"Simply awful, aren't they?"

Thorin tore his gaze away from the young pup who had decided to mercilessly attack his owner's shoe in order to turn to whoever it was that had spoken.

A man was stood beside him. Thorin hadn't been aware of his presence before, but he supposed that was in part due to the distractions of the hyperactive company about him, and in part due to the other man's short stature.

Still, Thorin was surprised he hadn't noticed him before. He was very... pleasant... yes pleasant was a safe word.

He was short, just slightly on the plump side, with an open and expressive face, captivating eyes holding a rather wicked glint, and hair that looked very soft.

Thorin swallowed thickly and attempted to return the quick grin the man had flashed at him, he found his responses were quite slow for some reason though, and he probably looked a right idiot.

"Er, yes. Not very well behaved at all, I'm starting to think Roäc's quirks aren't such a bad thing after all."

"Ah, Roäc is it?" Without waiting for a reply the man crouched before the Husky cross and cooed gently. "You are a handsome one aren't you... you look rather like your daddy you know."

Thorin tried not to think too hard on the implications of being compared to his dog (handsome? Had this man just indirectly complimented him?) and fought to keep the flush off his face; mentally praising Roäc when the dog offered a wave of his plumed tail and a friendly lick to the man's offered hand instead of the displeased grumble he would sometimes give strangers.

Straightening, the man then offered his hand to Thorin with a smile, introducing himself. "Bilbo Baggins, pleasure to meet you, and this bundle of trouble here is Emmett."

Thorin returned the handshake, and looked down to see a plump, very cute little Corgi with beseeching eyes staring up at him, tongue lolling. "Thorin Oakenshield, lovely to meet you as well, and Emmett of course."

Reluctantly releasing Bilbo's hand, Thorin returned the same courtesy the man had shown his dog in giving Emmett some fuss. He crouched and smoothed the dogs' ears and head, only to have the dear little thing throw himself into his arms and topple Thorin back onto his behind.

"Oh, Emmett honestly, don't-"

"Quite alright, he's just being friendly," Thorin huffed a laugh as he struggled to maintain his hold on an armful of wriggling, whining, licking Corgi. The dog's entire backside was waving in a vain attempt of wagging his tiny stump of a tail.

Bilbo noticed where Thorin was looking at was quick to reassure. "He's not docked. Never did hold to that horrible practice. He's one of those Corgi's just born with a short tail."

"Ah, good to hear it, I hate the idea of anyone doing that. I'm very glad you think so too." Thorin's estimation of the man rose considerably and Bilbo's eyes were warm and friendly.

Rather than attempt to free Thorin from his Emmett shaped prison, Bilbo plopped himself down on the floor as well, letting his hand stray over to pet Roäc who was looking a little neglected what with his human being encumbered with a lapful of Corgi.

Bilbo was right on that account, Thorin supposed. He did somewhat resemble his dog in some ways. Both of them had black hair, shot through with silver; Roäc's was genetic whilst Thorin's was due to age however. They also both had the same piercing blue eyes and large, strong type of bodies.

Bilbo, Thorin decided, definitely looked like Emmett, so he couldn't really talk: warm eyes and adorably soft bodies, not to mention the dark, sandy sort of hue to their hair and fur.

"So, I presume you've been forced into this ridiculous class when there's clearly nothing wrong with your dog too, hm?" Bilbo seemed enchanted by the fact that Roäc had turned and settled his head on his knee. "Roäc seems very well behaved after all, whyever are you here?"

"My sister, Dís, seems to think Roäc needs this class. I do admit, he's too clever by half and gets himself into trouble, but he's not nearly as bad as that lot." Thorin emphasised his point by jerking his head towards the gaggle of other dogs in the hall.

"I see. Emmett snarled at a cousin of mine, that is why I'm here. I'm not blaming him though," Bilbo defended his dog stoutly. "She tried to let herself into my home whilst I was out, but her family is a pain and I'm just doing this to keep them off my back."

Thorin shook his head in disbelief. If they were trying to imply Emmett was vicious, they must be mad! The rotund little dog was probably the friendliest thing Thorin had ever met. Currently he was making an endearing snuffly snorting noise as he nosed at Thorin's shirt; either intrigued by the scent of his clothes, or else nosing about for treats, Thorin wasn't sure; but it was the furthest thing from fierce anyone could hope to witness.

The pair spoke amiably for a few minutes more, until a hulking great beast of a man approached them.

Thorin frowned up at him, he didn't have a dog with him so...

"Beorn!" Bilbo grinned and stood, dusting off his trousers and straightening his sweater-vest. "I didn't know you were taking this class."

"Alrigh' there little bunny?" Thorin saw Bilbo grimace at the apparent nickname, but he recovered quickly and smiled again politely.

"Very well, thank you. I've brought Emmett with me. This is Thorin by the way, and his dog, Roäc." Bilbo made the introductions whilst Thorin continued the glare suspiciously at the newcomer. Who was he?... Well he was the tutor of this class obviously, but...

"Ah, lovely dogs these." Beorn had crouched before Roäc in an instant, fussing over him just as Bilbo had done, and again Roäc seemed quite taken with the stranger, though this time Thorin was less pleased by that for some reason. "You've been taking good care of him, he looks in wonderful condition."

"Thank you." Thorin felt instantly guilty for feeling an odd sort of dislike towards the man on sight, and instead let his scowl soften into a hesitant smile. "I'm glad you think so."

Beorn straightened and shot Bilbo a wolfish grin. "Good to see you finally found someone. It's about time."

"Wha-!? I- Beorn! We've only just-"

Bilbo's sputtering denials were for naught as the mountain of a man walked off calling to the other members of his class for attention.

Thorin could feel his cheeks heating as he stood up again and turned to Bilbo, depositing a still wriggling Emmett into his arms. "Who was that?"

"Beorn, he's taking this class," Bilbo huffed and then elaborated. "He's a friend of a friend; he actually put me in touch with the lady who bred Emmett. I used to volunteer with both him and Gandalf at the animal shelter..."

He paused, cleared his throat, and carried on with cheeks aflame. "He and Gandalf love to pry into my personal life for some reason... I think my mother put them up to it and they've taken on the task a bit too enthusiastically for my liking. Anyway, Beorn seems to be under the impression that you and I are dating from the sounds of things so..."

"Ah..."

"Yes..."

"Well there's only one thing for it," Thorin murmured as Beorn started explaining his rules and what he expected their dogs to achieve.

"What?"

Screwing up his courage, Thorin rested his hand atop Roäc's head for moral support before speaking again. "I'll just have to take you out for coffee and make it official."

Bilbo suppressed a laugh and nodded, grinning ear to ear. "Alright, tomorrow good for you?"

"Perfect."

"... And if the two love birds have finished arranging their date, we might be able to start the lesson," Beorn's booming voice brought them both back to the room with a nasty jolt.

Deeply embarrassed, Thorin and Bilbo paid close attention to the next instructions, but Thorin didn't miss the thumbs up Beorn gave him and the bright smile on Bilbo's face whenever Thorin caught his eye throughout the lesson would more than make up for the teasing he knew he'd receive from Dís when he told her about all this.