Should I Look?

Spencer

Her words cut through my like a knife. She doesn't want to get married? What did I do? I stare at Clara in total shock.

"You don't want to marry me?" I don't care if my voice is cracking and squeaky. The girl I love just told me she didn't want to marry me. Clara looks like she's going to bawl at any second.

"Spence, no. I want to marry you, I do. But you should be with someone who can give you what you deserve." She's fighting the tears, i can tell by the way she's moving her head and batting her eyelashes.

"What do you mean?" I grab her hands so she'll focus on me.

"You deserve to be a dad Spencer, you'll be an amazing dad one day. But I don't think I could be half as good at being mother, Spencer, I don't know the first thing about motherhood." She's crying now, it breaks my heart into a million pieces. We're standing in the small kitchen it tops silence, the only noise is the sound of Clara sobbing.

"No," I wist for her to look at me. "I don't want someone else Clare, I want you. And as far as having kids go you don't need a role model for that. You are the kindest, most caring, talented, woman I know, you know how to love Clara. You'd be an amazing mother." I hold her hands tightly in mine, I never she thought this way, I always assumed because she worked with babies that she'd want her own. And she does, she wants kids but she's scared, so am I.

"How do you know that?" She cries letting go my left hand to wioe her tears.

"You said it yourself, you think i'd be an amazing father. I didn't have a father figure to show me the way, it's not about that at all. It's the kind of person you are, and you Clara, are perfect." She wraps her arms around me and sobs into my neck.

"Why are you thinking about all this right now?" The thought crossed my mind this evening when her jeans didn't zip anymore, the mood swings didn't help the case either, is Clara pregnant?

"I don't know, I just don't want you regret marrying me if I can't give you what you deserve to have in the future." She mumbles and I pull back to look at her face.

"If my future doesn't have you in it, I'm not interested." She smiles at me and I wipe the tears off her cheeks. I still wonder if she's pregnant but I won't ask, I don't want to offend her right now. She can't be, she practically drank a whole bottle of wine at Rossi's tonight, unless she doesn't know.

"Come on, let's get you into bed." I slide my arm around her waist and we walk into our room.

"I'm sorry for all that Spence," Clara mumbles as she crawls into bed, I change my clothes into something more comfortable since I can't sleep in what I wore to Rossi's like Clara is.

"Don't be sorry, I don't ever feel like you're not enough Clare. You are exactly what I want." I say as i slide in next to her. Her swollen eyes look up at me as she gives me a soft smile, even after crying she's the most beautiful girl in the world.

I wake up to the sound of Clara sitting up in bed, I'm a light sleeper, it doesn't take much for me to wake up.

"Clare? You okay?" I peer at her through my half open eyes and in the early light coming through the window I see her shaking her head.

"I'm gonna be sick, Spencer move." She quickly holds her hand up to her mouth and as i move out of bed so she can get out, Clara is sprinting towards the bathroom. I knew I should of had her drink more water.

I drag my feet to the bathroom and when i get there she's pressed up against the wall taking a deep breath.

"This has got to be the worst hangover ever, and i've drank more than this before and it was definitely more hard core things, not wine. I had wine." Clara groans as I sit down across from her.

"You did have a lot, but I didn't think it would make you this sick," I do find it strange how hungover she is given the fact it was just wine.

"Clara, you said your period started in two days? Are you sure you read that right?" She glares at me, I know it's not my business but I have to ask.

"I think I can read Spencer," She pulls her phone out and the look on her face a few seconds later tells me she did in fact read it wrong last night.She hands me the phone and stays silent, she looks terrified.

The app reads "3 days late" which means...

"Do you think you're pregnant?" I spit out in a quick sentence my words blurring together, Clara looks like she's seen a ghost.

"I hope not, Spencer do you know how I drank last night? Id I'm pregnant this kid is fucked." Clara gives her nervous chuckle at the end of the sentence. I can't help but join her this nervous melt down.

"Spencer, I'm scared." She finally admits after another around of throwing up. I pull her against my body so that the back of her head is pressed to my chest.

"It's okay, we don't even know if you're pregnant. An if you are, whatever you choose to do I will support you endlessly." I moved strands of her hair back behind her ear. If Clara really is pregnant i of course want her to keep our baby, but I wouldn't force that on her if she didn't want to, I would be okay with whatever she chose, because I have to be. Because I love her enough to trust her decisions.

"Spencer, if i'm pregnant," She pauses and then lifts her head up to look at me. "I'm gonna fat on our wedding day. I'll either be 8 or 9 months long or like a week postpartum." She melts into my body in annoyance.

"Then we won't get married in June or July," I say, grabbing her hair back as she leans towards the toilet again.

"Yeah, But i really wanted too," She mumbles as she braces herself for another round of vomiting.

When the sickness finally passes Clara goes and sits on the couch, turning on her newest show she's binge watching, Pretty Little Liars. She asks me to profile the characters all the time to figure out which in is the stalker but I tell her i can't tell because it's a tv show, not real life. It's Mona though, she's shady.

I think about texting JJ, who's already had two kids. She would know what to do. But i don't want to get anyone's hopes up if she's not pregnant or decides not to got through with it.

"Do you think we should test?" I build enough courage to ask and Clara looks at me, fear in eyes.

"Yes, I do, by i'm petrified of what it will say." She stares at me, her olive green eyes burning into mymine.

"Me too," I admit to her hoping it will make her feel better.

"Okay, I think you should go pick up a test while I stay here and finish this episode." She smiles at me, leaning over the couch. I give her a thumbs up and kiss her when I walk by towards the front door. I don't even realize that i'm still in pajamas until I'm getting out of my car at the store. Great.

Spencer Reid, the local crazy man.

I walk into the store and my phone dings with a text from Clara.

Green tea? pls pls pls i love you forever

I laugh quietly to myself and get that first and then as I stare at the hundreds of different option of pregnancy test i'm lost. Which one should I get? Like anyone else, I google it. Not my proudest moment but i'm met with the answer that Clearblue is the one to get. So i check out.

"Okay stop, i'm so scared now." Is what Clara says when I walk in and hand her tea. I then had her the box with the test inside.

"You know I didn't have to owe but now i'm so scared that I do." She takes a deep and breath and opens the box, now holding the test in her hands.

"So what I just pee on it?" Clara shouts from the bathroom and it makes me laugh considering what her profession is.

"Aren't you a doctor? A baby doctor at that," She sighs loudly and then comes out of the bathroom about a minute later, setting the test in the coffee table in front of the couch.

"This is the longest three minutes of life." Clara hides her face in my arm and then proceeds to tell me I smell good. I just smile at her, i'm excited and i'm scared.

"Okay should I look?" Clara shakes her head at her own question, "You do it I can't," When i go to pick the test up she stops me.

"Okay, what if we both pick it up?" I suggest and she nods, both of us grabbing an end.

"Oh my god," She gasps

"Clara, we haven't even looked yet," I can't help but just laugh at how nervous she is.

We both flips the test around and I let go as Clara pulls her in front of her.

"Is that two lines?"

"It says it would be like a cross if it's positive, are the lines crossing?" I ask her and she tilts it in different lighting.

"Uh, i can't tell." She hands it to me and I can't really tell either.

"Wait," I say watching a line become more bolder.

"No there's definitely two lines, that's definitely positive." I hand the test back to her and she looks at it again.

"Oh my god, you're right. I'm pregnant." Her hand instantly reaches down to her stomach.

"Oh my god i'm pregnant." She had a smile on her face, she's happy.

"We're having a baby Spencer!" She gets up and practically dances around the room, she's so bipolar sometimes.

"Oh god." She stops and stares at me from in front of the tv.

"I drank like a half a bottle of wine while pregnant." The realization hits me hard so U can only imagine what she's feeling. Clara walks to the bedroom and when she comes out she's wearing different clothes and requesting that I drive her to the hospital immediately.

"I'll just act like I forgot something at work, come on."

I'm still in my pajamas, this is not helping my crazy man reputation. Clara sneaks us both into an empty ultrasound room and begins setting things up. She lays on the table and puts the gel on her stomach and begins performing her own ultrasound.

"Look." She stops and points the screen, "looks like it's measuring almost 2 months, but not quite there yet." She adds and the freezes looking at me.

"I'm almost two months pregnant...?" Her eyes are wide, it's only October 20th.

"That's means a July wedding is still in the picture." She grins at me, she's not wrong if she really is about two months along then her due date should be in May, I think personally she needs to see a doctor who's not herself. As talented as she is, she needs to not be clouded by her own judgement.

"I think you still should still see a doctor who's not yourself," she rolls her eyes but ultimately agrees.

"Listen," Clara whispers and tiny little heartbeat fills the empty room.

We're really doing this.

———————AN: Hope you guys didn't forget that Clara gets kidnapped while she's Spencer's Fiancé, so there's going to be a lot on the line with this new addition 😊 Sorry to ruin your moods, be scared 😖❤️❤️