eighteen

͙⁺˚*･༓☾

sunoo's first show as a member of enhypen finally arrives. it's funny how he's been so over the moon about this day for weeks, yet now that it's here, he finds himself half dreading having to get up out of bed.

the previous night ended in the worst way possible and not only was sunoo terrified about how the show would go because of it, but he was terrified for where him and sunghoon now stand. sunoo's mind became a battleground, inundated with a flood of "what if" scenarios. the worry consumed all his attention, overshadowing other thoughts and making it difficult to focus on anything else...especially sleep.

a light knock on the door interrupts his reverie. "sunoo? are you awake?"

sunoo gets out of bed, relieved to hear heeseunng's voice, and opens the door to discover heeseung, as expected, on the other side. "i mean this as nicely as possible, but you look like you've has a rough night."

sunoo can't blame him. his eyes are clearly puffy and his hair is springing in all different directions. heeseung was able to decipher sunoo's internal dialogue through the distressed look on his face. "why don't you just talk to sunghoon? you're good at talking about your feelings."

the two converse as they make their way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. sunoo sighs, empathetically exclaiming, "it's more complicated than that," as he pours himself a glass of water. "i wouldn't even know what to say. what if we can't continue...us?"

it breaks heeseung's heart to hear sunoo's concerns because he knows how happy sunghoon and sunoo have made each other, despite the bumps in the road. hell, if it weren't for sunghoon, sunoo wouldn't even be in the group right now. 

before he can react, jake and ni-ki unexpectedly enter their flat through the unlocked front door. "morning, guys."

heeseung mocks him. "come on in, i guess."

"the door was unlocked, hee. you wanted us to come in," jake teases back. 

ni-ki makes his way over to sunoo who stands by the counter sipping on his glass of water while staring into space. "hey, sun. you okay?"

sunoo is momentairly startled by the abrupt appearance, but he instantly becomes at ease once he realizes it's ni-ki. he sets his glass of water down beside him, hugging his arms to his chest. "not really, to be honest. i want today to go smoothly, but i also want me and sunghoon to be okay."

ni-ki's heart ached at the sight of his best friend in the whole world being so torn. knowing how far sunoo's come and how hard he worked for this day, he can only hope that jungwon's plan will be able to help with everything. not that he knows what it is, since jungwon won't even tell him.

out of nowhere, heeseung's phone buzzes atop the kitchen counter, catching everyone's attention. he picks up his phone to read the message. "it's a text from jungwon. we have thirty minutes until a van comes to get us."

reluctantly, sunoo returns to his bedroom to get ready to leave. sunoo finally gets dressed after what feels like an hour, but is really just twenty minutes. as he reaches for the door handle, it's abruptly opened from the outside.

sunghoon stands before him.

sunoo's eyes widen in shock. "h-hoonie? what are you doing here?"

the taller lets himself inside and closes the door behind them. sunoo tilts his head in perplexity. "we only have, like, ten more minutes until–"

before sunoo can finish his sentence, he's enveloped into sunghoon's warm and tender embrace. breathing in sunghoon's scent again revives him, and all the worry he previously had feels as if its washing itself away. sunoo returns the hug, laying his chin atop sunoo's shoulder as he does so. 

"i'm so sorry about everything," sunghoon's muffled voice whispers into sunoo's hair. he brings a hand to the back of sunoo's head, threading the loose strands of his soft hair between his fingers. "but even after everything that's happened..." sunghoon pulls apart, this time using both of his hands to cup sunoo's pink-tinted cheeks. "i don't want to lose you. as a group member, as a friend, or...or as a boyfriend."

sunoo is more than touched by sunghoon's words. the fact that sunghoon came to him first about everything was already more than enough. everything he feared was reciprocated, but also everything he wanted for the two of them was reciprocated, too. sunoo didn't want to lose sunghoon, either. and sunghoon felt the same way.

"we won't lose each other," sunoo says, placing his hands delicately on either of sunghoon's hips. "we'll figure this out."

sunoo didn't know how. he didn't even know if they could. but after sunghoon's actions, he was confident they would be able to work it out. sunghoon wasn't fully convinced yet, but he trusted sunoo with all his heart. he felt a lot more content after spending a restless night stressing. still holding sunoo's cheeks in his hands, he decides to bring him in closer, kissing his lips sweetly. 

when the two walk out to the van together, the air outside suddenly feels lighter. sunoo didn't have to worry about him and sunghoon anymore. now he just had a performance to nail.

͙⁺˚*･༓☾

sunoo's first experience in hair and makeup for a live performance feels like a dream. who wouldn't enjoy being dolled up by professionals? ni-ki comes around with a camera in his hand. "hey, sun, say hi to engenes!" he exclaims, shoving the camera into sunoo's face while he's getting his hair done. 

"yah!! you're too close," he chuckles, shyly pushing him away. "why are you even recording?" 

"just getting some content for the enhypen youtube channel. i figured since there's nothing left for me to do, i can at least record some behind the scenes moments," ni-ki proudly states, pleased with his genius idea. he then turns the camera towards him, bending down to sunoo's seated level. "okay, ready, pose!" he says, throwing up a peace sign. 

sunoo hides his face embarrassedly, but ni-ki just laughs it off before heading off to search for another member to bother.

"i heard that the boss walked in looking really stern," sunoo overhears a couple employees whispering at the table nearby.

"really? what do you mean?"

"he refused to greet anyone and insisted on the front row. but he only wanted a certain seat, saying it had to have the best view of sunoo and sunghoon, or something."

sunoo's heartbeat picked up speed. not only was he already a bit nervous to perform for an audience in general, but now he had to worry about his boss eyeing him like a hawk the whole show. regardless, he knew he'd have to push it to the back of his mind and just focus on performing for engenes. it'll be fine, i got this.

"and if it isn't mr. leader, looking handsome as ever," ni-ki says, him and his camera having made their way over to jungwon waiting by the dressing room door. jungwon rolls his eyes, but his lips curve into a smile as he does so. ni-ki continues, "please, jungwon, enlighten engenes on your secret to looking so breathtaking everyday."

jungwon scoffs, this time lightly nudging ni-ki's camera away, especially since his cheeks are beginning to heat up. ni-ki chuckles, hitting the button to stop recording. "don't worry, i won't post that part or anything."

jungwon looks at him fondly. "you're having fun with this little cameraman stuff aren't you?"

ni-ki can't help a small blush. "maybe," he says. "but it also gives me an excuse to be near you."

at this jungwon, frowns a bit. "you don't need an excuse to be near me, ni-ki."

ni-ki awkwardly rubs the nape of his neck. "well, i know, but i just wanna be extra careful because, well, you know..."

jungwon knew. and it made him sad. and angry. and it hurt his heart. 

but it only made him that much more ready for his plan to take action.

͙⁺˚*･༓☾

"and now, enhypen with their latest single, paradoxxx invasion!"

as sunoo steps onto the stage, a surge of anticipation fills the air. the vibrant lights from enhypen lightsticks illuminate the venue, casting a captivating glow on the sea of faces eagerly awaiting the music to begin. the energy pulsates through the air, electrifying every nerve in his body. he's suddenly unaware of the boss watching his every move, and quite frankly, he doesn't care.

as their performance reaches its climax, the final notes reverberate through the crowd, and the eruption of engene's applause rings through his ears. the sense of accomplishment is overwhelming, and all six boys bask in the euphoria of a successful performance. sunoo takes a bow, feeling a mixture of gratitude, exhaustion, and elation, knowing that he's created an unforgettable experience for both himself and every engene in the venue tonight. he couldn't be more grateful for this moment.

sunoo makes eye contact with sunghoon, who subtly shoots him a wink. 

once the applause begins to die down, the host makes his way onstage. "thank you for–"

"excuse me, but may i say something?" jungwon quickly asks, having approached the host's side. the host, albeit taken aback, offers the microphone to jungwon for a quick speech. 

confused, sunoo looks around at his other group members. they all wear the same inquisitive expression as him. sunoo even catches glance of ni-ki, who sits in the front row only a few seats away from the boss. everyone looks lost, yet intrigued, and that's how sunoo knows jungwon's speech isn't planned. jungwon, what are you doing? he thinks to himself.

"firstly, we just wanna thank all of you engene for being here tonight!" he exclaims with a dimpled smile, alluding the audience to burst into another round of cheers. "we also are so happy to have had our first performance with sunoo," he adds, gesturing towards sunoo. 

sunoo, who wasn't expecting the sudden attention, goes red in the face. engenes continue their cheering, so he shoots them a smile and a wave, slightly giggling to himself in embarrassment. 

just when sunoo thought that was all, jungwon continued. "it really means a lot to us that you all have accepted sunoo into our group lovingly and with open arms, just like we did. as a group, we think it's so important to be the same to everyone we meet in life. to all of our engenes out there, every race, every gender, every sexuality, we hope you know that we love each and every one of you, and we will always accept you into our hearts with open arms just like you do for us."

the crowd erupts into even louder applause if possible and by now every member of enhypen is smiling. instantly, sunoo's eyes find the boss again, and he swears he can see the vein in his forehead begin to pop out. 

jungwon's grip on the mic tightens and he sends ni-ki a look before he speaks again. "with that being said, engenes, i hope you can all accept me, too...because i've fallen in love with a boy recently, and he's made me realize that life's too short to spend time worrying about what others may think about you. we have to stick together and grow a loving and accepting community, which is exactly what we hope we can be with engenes from now on. thank you again for coming to our show and have a great night!"

jungwon ends his speech with the same dimpled smile he started it with. to everyone's surprise, the crowd fills the venue in heaps of cheers, chants, and screams. the overwhelming amount of support and joy engulf the room and sunoo can hardly believe it. he has so many questions and so many thoughts, but him and his members are already being escorted off of the stage. the crowd chants "ENHYPEN" over and over again the whole time during their exit. 

once all six boys are back in the dressing room, the room is silent. it only lasts for a moment though, because jay instantly screeches, "what the hell just happened?!?!"

jungwon bites his lip sheepishly. he's honestly surprised with himself for even going through with his plan, but in the moment it  just felt right. as the leader, he wanted to set a good example and be the change for the group...for sunghoon, for sunoo, for engenes...but also for himself. for ni-ki. 

before jungwon can explain, sunghoon brings him into a massive hug. "i'm feeling so many emotions right now and i have no idea where to begin," he mutters into jungwon's shoulder. 

once he pulls apart, jungwon chuckles, rubbing his friend on the back assuringly. he then faces the rest of the group. "i'm sorry i didn't tell you guys i would be doing that. i just...i couldn't stand having to see sunghoon and sunoo be treated the way they were. and i couldn't stand the way it was affecting all of us as a team. plus...i had my own reasons on wanting to speak out, too..."

"i think your reason just got here," heeseung replies, pointing toward the dressing room door. 

jungwon turns around to see ni-ki, who was a bit out of breath as if he'd ran all the way there. the leader hurries over to him, smiling. he searches ni-ki's eyes for any hint of disgust or anger, but they just seem full of wonder and curiosity. he smirks knowingly and says, "so, did you like my plan?"

without warning, a sudden surge of boldness takes hold and ni-ki closes the distance between their lips. the other five boys stand stunned, except for jay. "y'all are so damn slow, this is old news."

jungwon suddenly pulls apart, a look of concern in his eyes. "wait, where's the boss?" he asks, remembering ni-ki had been seated near him.

as if on cue, the door to the dressing room is practically kicked open, revealing a fuming man on the other end of it. ni-ki grabs jungwon's wrist protectively, but jungwon gives him a look that says to trust him. so, ni-ki lets go, letting the leader do what he does best.

"hi, boss. how did you like the performance?" he innocently asks.

sunoo awaits an outburst, but it never comes. he glances toward sunghoon who gives him a shrug in return. the boss, who takes a few more moments to cool down, finally begins to speak. "we'll talk about this tomorrow. the van will be here in twenty minutes." and with that, he leaves.

the seven boys find themselves dumbfounded, once again. no yelling? no screaming fit? sunoo has no clue what the boss could possibly be thinking and what all of this could mean for the future of the group, but when he thinks back to the the genuine and positive response of engenes in the crowd, he feels a pang of reassurance that maybe everything will be okay.

he'll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out.