42

Seven in the morning—I repeat—seven in the fucking morning. The morning of the damned corporate trip, if I may add.

At seven in the morning, in my tighty-whities, my uterus decides to mourn the death of my unfertilized egg.

Everyone else was excited to finally go outside Neureva's prison. And me? I'm a fucking bloody battle in my vagina.

Right during the ride on the bus. Right on the morning of the corporate trip.

Because why not?

Why not show me that my body hates me for not being pregnant? That's right. Fuck me for making rational life decisions. Well, if I had been religiously fucked, I guess I would be having a worse mental breakdown right now. So no. Yay, to bleeding monthly! Damn it.

Now, instead of being happily carefree and excited, I was sitting on a toilet seat in a rest bathroom stall, in the middle of nowhere. When the bus stopped for a short halt, my life had already halted everything for me

Fuck. Fuck this shit.

I couldn't even say 'I'm out'. Because where the fuck would I go? To another washroom stall to change my sanitary pad?

You know what? This morning when I woke up, I could already sniff the bitchiness in the air. My fucking instinct should be checked for prophecies because what in the periodic hell was this?

On the upside of things, my body was not cramping or stabbing me inside at all. Yet. But my mood? It was like a teenager attacked by a sudden growth spurt. I wanted to claw someone's eyes out if they even looked at me the wrong way. That kind of sour mood.

So yes, my body has prepared other ways for me to die. Because if it were just the cramping, I could have taken off and rested and killed it with painkillers—hopefully. People would have supported that too. But no. What fun was it even if there was no fiasco lighting up my ass?

I genuinely contemplated staying in the bathroom stall and letting the bus leave me behind. But Mr Min would have to sue me for the emotional torture he went through to pay the lawyers against Neureva's HR. So, only for the sake of Mr Min, I opened the stall door—freshly padded up with a soft napkin—and slammed the door shut behind me.

On the bus, I realised, I was the last one to get on. Understandably, everyone hated me. No problem. It wasn't like I was a fan of this shit-crap load of people who didn't have a molecule of fun in them. I hated them right back!

"Everything alright, Haerin?" Mr Seo was the only one who asked. Because yoo-hoo punctual people, I could have died inside a washroom stall. They didn't have to glare at me as if I was masturbating all alone. Matter of fact, I didn't find masturbating that appealing at all—no offence. Something about me having to do all the work to please myself was off-putting. Like, just imagine, you're having sex with yourself. How? Wasn't that incest or something?

Anyways.

I charged towards my designated seat next to Mr Min and stuffed myself closer to the window, not in the mood to talk to anyone anymore. I was in the mood to die. On a cliff so that my ass wasn't the only thing bleeding.

"All okay?" Mr Min adjusted the bags I had roughly dumped between us. "You can tell me everything today, no matter how personal it is. I promise to forget tomorrow."

My eyes shifted to him, scowling. What the fuck was he talking about?

There was a full second of confused eye contact between us before he cleared his throat.

"I mean, you look unwell. Did you eat wrong or something? I can arrange for medi—"

"Arrange for rat poison, Mr Min." I looked back at the window, sighing long and dramatically. "It's not working out for me anymore."

"No offence but did you start your monthly cycle?"

Damn this man.

He blinked at me when I didn't answer. "If that's the case, do you need painkillers? I have some."

"Why do you have period painkillers?" I scowled, my mouth too tired to talk. "Do you have an abusive girlfriend?

"I used to. Not abusive—just— girlfriend." He seriously explained. "So I am very comfortable with things like this. You can tell me if there's something wrong, okay?"

"Thanks, Mr Min. I'll be fine." I closed my eyes, ready to sleep.

The bus churned to life and my head began vibrating against the window. One second. I couldn't be in a movie for one damn second.

Mr Min leaned back and closed his eyes, glancing at me to make sure I was alright regularly.

He was just guilty for dragging me along on this no-fun trip. The management was all shady, boring and looked like they'd break like a twig if they danced. They didn't know what to do except look down on the assistants who had tagged along this time. Almost made it feel like an underground club we weren't invited to.

Fuck this man...

To make it worse, someone started playing S.E.S.

No, I fucking loved S.E.S. and their music. What I didn't love was the Bremen Musicians' cover of Dreams Come True which made me want to bang my head against Mr Min's shoulder. Were these people seriously kidding me? I couldn't be happy for one fucking minute.

Mr Min was hiding his laugh and smiling at the old patooties trying to dance in the aisle while singing.

Maybe they were genuinely enjoying themselves.

Maybe I was the bitch.

Fuck yeah, I was the bitch. A bitch that only knew how to bite.

I judged Mr Min for smiling at that shit. I judged hard.

"Where's Mr Jeon? He would have loved this!" Someone yelled from the front rows and my brows twitched. Why the hell were they interested in Jungkook? Just enjoy yourself!

Jungkook was making the rookie mistake of deciding to come afterwards in his personal car. Or maybe he was strategising coming alone and staying alone throughout the trip. Or maybe he was about to ditch.

Wait. Was it because of the hair incident yesterday? Because that would be smart. I wouldn't want him to cross me either. My villainous experiments could go Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated on him.

"Where's Mr Jeon?" Another man yelled into the crowd while laughing and I swear something circuited in my brain.

What the hell was this sudden celebrity event? Did Jungkook pass around USBs of his face with a wanted criminal prize or something?

I plugged into my earphones and decided to hear Dreams Come True with the real musicians singing in my ears for once.

"Is this going to be like this till the end?" I looked at Mr Min.

His mouth curled at the edges, "There's a mix of the wrong ages here but they won't last once alcohol comes in."

"Of course." I rolled my eyes. "I already have grey hair."

Mr Min was chuckling but this was no laughing matter. This was the life and death of my chance to enjoy.

By the time the bus rolled to a stop at the resort, I realised that the resort was the only good thing about this. I also realised that I couldn't feel my backside anymore. I swung my bag over my shoulder, regretting the short tennis skirt I had worn.

I had genuinely thought I'd have enough handsome men around to flaunt my legs. I didn't even have anyone to take pictures of me here, to make me look cute and available on social media. No—fucking—body.

I hated my life at that moment.

"You were out like a light, Miss Kang." Mr Seo walked up behind me, making me step down from the last step of the bus, making me sad even more because I was enjoying myself on the last step for a minute there.

"I'm happy you're charged for the trip, though." He grinned, as we started walking towards the giant group that was supposed to be counted and numbered like goats in a barn.

I could even bleat for all I cared about.

"Yeah..." I tried to chuckle. "You've been to these trips before, right? What usually happens here?"

Mr Seo scratched the back of his head and scrunched his nose, "I mean...it's not that great. It all depends on who you're here with and how much you can enjoy yourself. All we're going to do is sit and relax all day so that's that."

Sit and relax.

Sit and relax my fucking mind off now, won't you?

What the hell was this trip even?

"We're going to explore the place. Wanna join?"

I blinked at that enthusiastic man and stretched my lips. "Sure."

"Good choice." He showed me his thumb to show how this was the best choice. Oh fuck, I couldn't even think straight.

"Is Jungkook here yet?" Someone called again and my head ran into a wall.

It was a fan meet-up out here with everyone screaming for that bastard.

"Yeah! Yeah, he's here!" Someone else said, and I was tempted to see him. Because yes, I make all the best decisions in the world. I turned to see a white car rolling into the picture like someone was coming down from heaven to remind me I was dead long ago. That someone of course, being Jungkook himself.

Fuck him and his sassy ass.

Seriously. Who even gets such a nice car on this stupid trip? **Jungkook stupidly raises his hand**

He stepped out of the car once he had parked it in the distance...very expertly.

Heh. I'm sure I'd park better if I knew how to drive. This was nothing before the great Haerin.

He was dark against the pale white of the vehicle. Just from the way he dressed, I already knew that he was there to show off. Black, butt-fitting straight trousers, an expensive leather belt and a grey t-shirt that was barely holding up against his tight biceps. Ugh. What a narcissistic attention seeker.

And he couldn't have toned it down by not wearing those high-fashion sunglasses? Why would he? Where would he get all the attention-blood from the people if not from the already drooling men and women?

Something felt weird when I saw another shadow appearing from his car. Another. Person.

A girl.

A woman.

A woman I knew.

Yoo Mi Na from Human Resources.

Every time I tried to add to this sentence, it just got worse.

Yoo Mi Na, being the lady who was so concerned for the elbowed cheekbone of Jungkook back then. That lady. How the fuck did he get a woman with him?

Were they...dating?

To be honest, Yoo Mi Na did have that charming sophisticated energy about her that matched Jungkook's evil step-mother aura. They deserved each other.

And maybe she was nice and maybe she didn't deserve this rat bastard. But what did it have to do with me?

I gulped, turning around to follow Mr Seo because who cared about some new couple of the century from Singles' Inferno. Not me, bro.

So what if it looked like he liked me? I mean, that happens to everyone right? And he's way more annoying than adorable. So it didn't even make sense that he liked me.

Okay, I felt butt-stung because I had almost believed he liked me. So what? That was just an assumption. I wasn't going to act on it. Hmph.

Stop being a fucking castaway Haerin! We already have too much trauma from before!

That reminded me...that I hadn't thought about Jong Suk in so long. He felt foreign in my head now. How the hell did that happen to me? How did I not think of him for so long?

Was this progress or was this just a pastime before the ugly hit me again?

Anyway.

I didn't care.

He took his sunglasses off and BAM. He was looking at me.

What the fuck—

I flinched and tried to hide behind Mr Seo's uselessly flailing body. Why the heck couldn't this man keep still for a moment?!

No way. No way was I going to look at him and pretend like I hadn't just seen a woman get out of his car.

"Let's go, Mr Seo!" I grabbed that man's arm, pushing him in the opposite direction. "Explore, explore—or whatever we're here to do!"

"O—Okay, Haerin!" He stumbled and craned his neck to Mr Min, "You coming?"

"Sure." Mr Min sighed, hands digging into his pockets as he trudged along unwillingly.

From the looks of it, he probably wanted to rest and stay alone for the rest of the day. But yay me for being the reason he was dragged along.

We walked along the stoned pathway leading away from the resort, the air crisp enough to sting my nose and moisten my eyes. Mountains loomed like they were photo-bombing every step I took. Everyone else was bustling around, choosing rooms, gossiping, and—probably—plotting when they'd catch a glimpse of Jungkook. Because hey, hot director in the dumps of the despairing men who couldn't hold a candle to you. Except, Mr Min, of course. Mr Min, however, was not reciprocal. And women were scared of that.

"Wow, look at that view!" Mr Seo spread his arms like a bad tour guide about to push me off the cliff before distracting me.

"Yes," I deadpanned, "what a day to be alive."

...and bleeding.

Mr. Min exhaled through his nose, his hands still stuffed deep in his pockets. "This is why I avoid these things."

"Oh, c'mon, Mr. Min." Mr Seo tried, all bright-eyed enthusiasm. "You gotta relax. We're here to make memories."

"I already have memories," Mr. Min muttered. "Most of them stressful."

I laughed under my breath and kicked a pebble on the path. I tried to snap a picture of the scenery on my phone but stopped halfway, staring at my reflection on the black screen instead. Cute tennis skirt, nice legs, makeup still intact. And not a single person around to make it look like I was thriving.

Had Jong Suk been here, he would have, at least, taken good pictures of me. He was shitty, but man did he know how to click good pictures of me—whoa ho hey! How lonely was I to go back to Mr Return My Paperbacks? Sheesh.

Perfect.

"Want me to take a picture for you?" Mr Seo leaned over.

I shook my head too quickly. "No thanks. I'm not...pretty enough."

He looked puzzled but nodded anyway.

As we rounded the path, I caught sight of the river glinting between the trees. Sparkling and clear. People were already heading that way, their voices carrying. I squinted, heart thudding when I caught a tall figure in black trousers by the bank. My stomach twisted before I even confirmed it.

Of course. Jungkook.

Even from a distance, I could tell it was him. Fuck me for remembering his backside. Leaning casually, like the river itself had been summoned to make his backdrop prettier. And beside him, Yoo Mi Na's silhouette, her laugh rising, like she'd been written into his script.

I yanked my gaze away and started walking faster. "Let's check the inside of the resort," I suggested, a little too loud. "Maybe there's a fireplace. Or a bar. Or anything not involving mountain air."

Mr. Seo blinked. "But the river—"

"No rivers!" I snapped. "Water is overrated."

Mr. Min groaned, dragging his feet, but followed.

I wasn't feeling it. Much because I was actively bleeding while this was happening. I diverted from Mr Seo and Mr Min—who tried to look for me once but gave up when I said that I was fine alone for some time.

I mean, I was physically drained from always having to be on edge because wherever I went, this Jungkook motherfucker and his girlfriend appeared.

The final destination of my decisions brought me to a quiet garden chair hidden in the bushes in the back of the resort bungalow where everyone was literally screaming and hollering while having a good time.

I felt jealous.

I felt like a stupid asshole who couldn't even have a good time but then I didn't care for much either.

I leaned back on the bench and rested the back of my head at the same time that Jungkook's face appeared above me.

"Fuck—!" I gasped and almost shot out of my seat.

My heart! My heart was ripped out of my chest.

I caught my chest, trying not to die from the shortness of breath.

"Well hello, Mowgli. Loving wildlife, are we?" He smirked.

Argh. This man! Why would he find me out—?

I glared at him, "Wildlife? This looks like wildlife to you, city boy?"

He chuckled, "Oh, you don't know half of how much I love the wildlife."

The way he said it made it sound like two separate words. Wild Life. Not wildlife. Or maybe I was stupid.

I rolled my eyes, "Well, I leave the wild to you then." I shot out of my seat, already feeling my stomach tickle.

Something was wrong with me. Something was so wrong.

"Am I kidding myself or are you avoiding me, Miss Kang?" He shuffled after me as I started making my way out of his presence but alas, I couldn't.

"The former." I spat, walking faster, but my legs wiggled and I rammed sideways into the entrance of the bungalow where the rampant games were going on.

Jungkook stumbled after me.

The MC looked at me.

"And we have the finalists!" He roared and the people fell like a cosmic energy had struck them.

Finalists? What was this, Wimbledon?!

"Mr Jeon! Mr Jeon!" People began hollering at the top of their lungs like he was Superman.

What the fuck—?

"Let's decide if the women win or the men by making Mr Jeon and Miss Kang compete for the final round for this thigh strength test!" The MC declared.

Flat on my back. Once again.

Oh my god. Oh my god no! Thigh strength test?! Was everyone fucking kidding me?!

"W—what?" I shuddered, trying to back away. I felt someone's broad back behind me and closed my eyes.

Oh heck no.

"What? Scared, Miss Kang?" His voice dipped closer to my ear.

My brain short-circuited. I whipped my neck, all of a sudden too close to his face. Something musky entered the back of my throat, making me gulp.

"Scared of killing you in the process? Yes, I am." I smirked.

"Oh? Confidence is sweet but if you're this sure, let's put it to the test." He smirked, passing me by and walking towards the hollering people who were so thankful he had appeared like their saviour.

Ugh.

"Haerin!" The girls cried out to me. "Win this for us! Please!"

I flinched, hesitantly walking towards the chairs set out facing each other.

This was terrible. This was just a thought strength test, not foreplay. So why the hell was I sweating like a pig over here?

The chair creaked when Jungkook lowered himself on it. He looked at me and the bitch smirked at me. Smirked. Bastard. He leaned back, his knees spreading, inviting me with the confidence of a prostitute.

I shrugged uneasily, glancing at a woman and she threw her coat at me. I caught it, slumping down on the chair.

This wasn't a fair game.

There was no way a woman could compete in physical strength. Oh fuck no.

Of course. I had already failed in cybersecurity against this bastard. And because that wasn't enough already—I had to get my dignity crushed between Jungkook's thighs.

The guys drew a chalk line beside our chairs to mark how far I need to push his legs to win the game and how much he needs to push my legs inside for the ladies behind to spit on my corpse.

Once I had spread the coat on my lap to cover my skin, I touched my knees together and looked at Jungkook.

My face stung like a million bees had bitten me.

The ladies were cheering for me like I was Joan of Arc to be martyred. The guys were betting snacks on Jungkook.

My ears were going to have a period, too, if they didn't stop screaming like that.

"Ready, milady?"

"Oh fuck you, Jeon." I rolled my eyes, watching his trousers nervously when he adjusted his thighs to mine.

My knees wobbled. Fantastic. He hadn't even touched me yet and my nerves were already falling apart.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

The referee-wannabe raised his voice, preparing us, "One...two...three...GO!"

"Ahhhhhhrgh!!!" I roared as loud as I could to push my adrenaline, my knees pushing outwards. My dents were getting fossiled, my body shaking. It was just a moment before sweat came out to play. My body was trying its best. I could tell. Considering that I was patched up with a pad, I was doing really well. But fuck it, because that wasn't enough. Jungkook just...sat there. His knees in place, thighs squeezing so subtly in his trousers that I knew that he wasn't even trying. He was enjoying me falling apart, pushing my knees.

"GO JUNGKOOK! GOOOO!!" Mr Seo, the betrayer, shouted from behind too.

The women were all weeping for me in the back, preparing my burial set.

"What? Weak for me, Miss Kang?" Jungkook smirked and I peaked in anger at that moment.

My ego. My fucking ego.

I couldn't lose. I couldn't. But what could I do—wait.

Wait.

WAIT.

My eyes shot up, renewed with something that Jungkook caught too late.

"Haeriiiinnn!" I heard the weeping women behind me, and I loosened my knees just enough to make Jungkook tilt his head, curious.

Take this, you fucker.

I slid my knees closer, leaning forward. No shame. This was a war. Everything was fair. That's what I told myself as my knees buried deeper into the cave of his trousers.

Jungkook shook in his chair, "What are you—" his nostrils flared.

"Oooohhhhh!!!! That's playing dirty! Cheating!" The men groaned behind Jungkook while the ladies started screaming at the top of their lungs.

"Yes! Play dirty!" The women roared.

Hah. Yeah, I will.

He shuddered just enough when Mr Dickinson came in contact and my knee tickled as if I had touched fire.

He loosened and I pushed his knees out, deafened by the women hollering in victory.

"THE LADIES WIN!!" The MC yelled out to declare and I threw my fists in the air to stand up and scream.

My legs had already given out. I fell forward and Jungkook Loser's hand clamped around my waist before I could meet the earth and humiliate myself more. His hands were steady. Too steady. I felt his fingers adjusting, as if he was taking the full feel of it.

"Really?" He raised a brow, scoffing disbelievingly.

My hands landed on his shoulders, body sinking into the pressure as my legs gave out into his lap. I smirked, "What—" I tried to breathe, "—loser?"

I coughed, my hands shaking too, still laughing as I turned to the ladies, "Help me! I'm taking the enemy's help here!"

They hurried to pull me out of the chairs and helped me stagger away to celebrate first.

The crowds were screaming like they had just won a victory for the ages. And they had. I had fucking straddled my nemesis to win a game. Kill me dead.

I turned just in time for him to look at me.

Jungkook's eyes locked on me through the chaos—flushed, unreadable, dark. My heart did that stupid thing. That betrayal. That fucking hitch.

Kill me and bury me behind this resort, please.