41

"Did the wind throw up on you?" Bo Ah's shadow fell over me.

I looked up at her silhouette, scowling down at me and blinking. My ass was medium-rare'd by the metal seat on the bus stop. This was not the kind of greeting I was looking for.

It was supposed to be a joyous day. I was going shopping. But I? I fucking hated everyone today, including Bo Ah's face for scowling at me. Including the fact that the sun was not making it easier. Including the fact that I was fucking exhausted. Including the fact that someone was following her up to the bus stop and I could already sense the 'romance' in the air.

"Hey." Jae-Hwan—the person she had consensual sex with—towered behind her.

And so, her boyfriend was in the loop too. Another reason to be mad at life. He was here only for warehousing reasons. Warehousing my shopping bags in his car—that kind of thing.

I stretched a smile at him before he looked at his dearly beloved and leaned closer to her open mouth. His dearly beloved, my foot. She was my fucking best friend first, you asshole! Get your hands off her! If only I could say that out loud and shove him away, I'd feel so much better. But then I'd have to sacrifice friendship for that.

Then, they kissed.

Ew.

Why the fuck was everyone kissing everyone all of a sudden? I didn't recall signing up for free porn. First, it was Namjoon and Sohyun, now Bo Ah and her Lovey Loverson.

"Did you sleep well?" Bo Ah tried to fix my hair that was getting tangled in the wind—once she had officially plucked her mouth off that suckerfish of a boyfriend. "You look like you didn't."

No the fuck I did not.

Last night was not about fucking sleeping in the bed. The bed that was supposed to vouch for my rest. That shitty thing had one job. One job—which was to help me sleep. And it failed. Instead, all I could think of was the horrible horrible reality—potential reality—of the horror that I was the object of a cyborg's affection in a clearly sadistic way. There was no way whatever Namjoon said was right. Because just think, if Jungkook likes me and is feeding off the pissed off look on my face, then there are two possibilities in this equation. One, he's a masochist and probably into BDSM stuff where he's the submissive partner, aka, a masochist. Or, he was into the BDSM stuff and I was the one he wanted to make submissive, in other words, sadism.

Who in their fucking right mind pissed off the person they liked? Wasn't the entire premise of 'liking' someone supposed to want to make them happy?

As if this wasn't chaotic enough, the opponent number two of my sleep was keeping up too. Taehyung. Now I was constantly under attack—or that's what my brain told me. I couldn't get the feeling off my back that that man had access to know things nobody else should. High possibility that he was peeping through one of the curtains and watching me lying flat on my back like I had been murdered by my thoughts.

What did he even like about me? This was the scarier part of my life. On one hand, Jungkook was equally pissing me off but I never felt unsafe. And Taehyung and I had barely had noteworthy engagements and I was already preparing myself for being murdered.

"You said ten minutes." I glared at Bo Ah like she had personally wronged me.

But then again, that was the job of my brain. Because the moment I said that my brain fused and I recalled that weird maternity shop bike ride with Jungkook. Is this your version of ten minutes?

Oh fuck me, no. NO.

Somebody block him from my head, please! PLEASE!

My head transplanted my memory into how it had felt to ride...that bike of his. That fucking asshole had even given me a speech on how my body was mine to decide for and whatnot. How taut his muscles had felt when I had touched his shoulder—fuck. Help. Help me.

Motherfucking bastard. Asshole. Human cactus. I hated him, hated him hated him!

I scratched my scalp as if I could claw that memory out of me.

Why the hell did this have to happen to me? I was so happy on my own with the regular way things were going until this fucking co-worker named Namjoon had to appear. I always knew Namjoon was after my happiness. I always knew it. That manhole had to destroy the fun of corporate decorum for me.

"Baby, can you tell her that you were the one who got us late?"

Jae-Hwan, the dog of my best friend opened his mouth, but I raised my palm to silence him.

"I don't need to hear the script. I know she curled her hair too hard." I cracked a smirk at Bo Ah, my jaw twitching with contained anger. "Let's leave before my butt curls on this metal seat, too, and we're late, again."

I stood up, focusing my energy on the task at hand. Shopping.

"Alright, where are we going?" Boyfriend opened the car door for Bo Ah, then for me. Ooh, what perfection. I almost want to die.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed by the couply-energy in the car as I climbed in.

"Probably the mall? That's where you like to get your stuff." Bo Ah teased.

"Ha ha, what a funny girlfriend you have there, Jae-Hwan." I rolled my eyes again. "You know I'm too broke to go to a high-end store. Let's go to the usual."

"Sure." Her seatbelt clicked as the car churned to life. "What's with the chippy tone, girlie? Something happened at work?"

Chippy? Was I chippy?

My shoulders sagged and I leaned back in the seat. "Guess who has an apparent stalker?"

"What?!" Bo Ah turned so fast that her neck caught a minor jerk, which she managed to fix. "Are you kidding me? A stalker? Who, what, when and how?"

I closed my eyes, trying not to punch the air and look stupid in front of an outsider—the boyfriend.

"It's the brother of this guy in my office. I only realised something was off when he dropped me home that day when I hadn't even given him my address." I explained. "Turns out, he was lying to me about all these fucking coincidences. He's fucking creepy. I couldn't get a wink of sleep last night."

"Hey...are you okay?" Her voice turned frail. "This is serious. Stalkers aren't a small thing. I don't want to think of that but what if he does something bad?"

"I know...what should I even do at this point? It's not like I have evidence." I sighed. "But worry not, I have my baton. That guy's dick will be chopped like ravioli if he tries anything."

I caught Jae-Hwan squeezing his legs from the corner of my eye.

"That's after he manages to do something worse, Haerin. Keep your colleagues and family informed."

"Do I want to die of humiliation or something?" I scowled. "I'm thinking of ways to get rid of him. Don't worry, Agent Haerin has served in the secret agency for many years now. My blood is ripe."

"Shut up, Haerin." She groaned, looking up as if praying for some brains in me. Failure.

"Keep me on emergency-dial. Give me the contact numbers of all of your colleagues. Please." She begged.

"Alright, alright." I dismissed. "It's going to be alright, Bo Ah. I'll be fine. I've always been fine, right?"

"No the fuck you haven't." She sneered. "You're the goddess of messing things up. If you've forgotten the recent events at your work, I can fucking remind you."

"Hey, you're using my favourite curse word a lot." I snarled. "Don't try to be me."

"This fucking woman!" She yelled and I laughed, getting comfortable in my seat.

"Anyways, why don't we talk about something else?" I chimed in. "Jae-Hwan, this question is for you."

"Hm." He looked at me in the rearview mirror as if he hadn't expected that turn.

"How do you know when a guy likes you?" I raised a brow.

"I haven't had gay encounters. I wouldn't know." He deadpanned.

Silence.

A pause.

I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. He was dead serious.

What the fuck—

Bo Ah burst out laughing and smacked his shoulder, "She means it from a girl's perspective!"

"Of course, I do!" I defended, straightening up a bit. "Like, I'm a girl and I'm acquainted with this guy who's always pissing me off. We hate each other."

"Why would he like you if you hate each other?" The dumbass boyfriend hath spoken.

Was he going to give me a minute to explain?!

"Argh." I drove my fingers through my hair. "Not like that. I just recently had a conversation with a guy who had a similar kind of dynamic with another girl but he's dating her now. He said all of those things, which are making me doubt what's happening with me too, you know? So, how do I know if this asshole likes me or if this is just sadism?"

"Define hate."

I paused and looked at that man because that was a weirdly 'Bo-Ah' way of saying it. DeFiNe hAtE.

"Are you ruining each other's lives or is this passive-aggressive email shit?"

My eyes narrowed, "What do you mean passive-aggressive email shit? I hate him because he's making my life difficult at Neureva. He's too techy—always trying to make it my mistake and corner me like a dog."

"So, boss-employee beef?"

"He's not the boss of me." My growl spilt out meaner than I had intended to. Jae-Hwan's eyes twitched at me in the mirror. "That man isn't even from my department! He just randomly exploded on my side of the floor like popcorn!"

"Babe, calm her down please."

Suddenly, the leash was on Bo Ah, and she turned to gesture for me to calm down. But how could I? How the fuck could I just act like this was okay?

I shook my head in disapproval. "I don't know how to define this, okay? I just know that he has helped me out a few times too."

"'kay," Mr Best-Friend Stealer nodded, eyes fixated on the road. "If you're suspicious that he likes you, that's probably it. Guys aren't that strategic."

"Clearly." I huffed, rolling my eyes.

"Any personal favours? Secrets between you two?" He continued. "Anything steamy happened? Even for a sec?"

I blinked fast, swallowing painfully.

Personal favours? Yes.

Secrets? Kind of... Does his mom's issue classify as a secret?

Steamy? That one Dickinson episode had to be it. But was that...steamy? Or just...an accident? Because neither of us was prepared there.

What was wrong with these men?! Why were they fixated on this aspect all the time?

"Haerin," Bo Ah sighed. "Are you talking about that cybersecurity guy?"

"Of course, I am." I rolled my eyes. "That bastard has been pissing me off and now I'm left wondering if all of this is because he actually likes me. You know that stupid analogy where guys tease the girls they like."

"Yeah, I hate that." She murmured. "Why the hell do we have to get tortured for being liked, you know? Treat me nice if you like me, bro."

"Exactly." I whimpered.

"Well, I'd say, test him." Jae-Hwan cut in. "Don't assume. Experiment."

My eyes narrowed. "Test him. Interesting. But won't he get pissed off if I do something stupid? I'm a hundred per cent sure he will beat me to death with my own baton."

"Here's the catch, though," Bo Ah snapped her finger. "Give a cute reason why you did it and see if he lets it go. Because if he lets things go just because you touched his arm or said something sweetly? Dude is smitten."

Oh yeah...

My eyes glowed because fuck yes. I was going to test the fuck out of him to see if this shit was true or not.

I could experiment with things with him and see how he reacts. I had a solid chance of pissing him off eternally which was okay. If I did cross a line then all I had to do was leave Neureva. I could do that. This fuck-all company could miss me for once. But if he does fail this test and I'm sure that he's got great taste because, Haerin? Fuck yeah. I'm the catch of the century. If he does like me, I'll just jump off the building. Simple.

•••

New Mission Allotted.

Mission title: Does he want to fuck me or fuck me up? / Alternatively known as: Wants me to kiss his lips or kiss his ass?L

ocation: Neureva, Tower B, Level three, Cabin 3C.

Time: 1:49 P.M.Mission status: In progress.Enemy activity: I am the enemy, activity anticipated.Resource requirements: One kilogram of audacity and two pills of confidence.

Mission begins. Over.

Soldier is awaiting orders to rethink this, and maybe accept that everything is not about her. Soldier wants to hide her face and cry in the corner of a room, thinking of the humiliation, but she's fucking stupid, so I don't wait.

With the most brazen push of the door, I enter the Antarctic arena once again. The trousers weren't helping much nor was the fact that Jungkook's hands were on the table, eyes hovering on the files on his desk. His tightly packed vest and shirt flexed on his shoulders and he scissored a plush-looking fountain pen between his thumb and index finger.

He did not look happy with whatever was going on.

I gulped, forced to rethink, but I was already inside so meh. Kill me if you must.

His eyebrows hopped up, noticing me dangling near the door awkwardly. Then, he looked at the file again as if I didn't even matter. As if I were the wind.

That, Mr Jeon? Insulting.

Something sparked in my head, annoyed by that reaction.

He was about to see some Manhattan madness. Maybe question his life and regret ignoring me like this too. Showing his cheap attitude as if I needed whatever attention he could offer. Hah.

He scratched his hair with the pen, sliding his teeth over his lower lip. Lower...lip. For someone who had a filthy mouth, he sure had some pretty lips. Hydrated, soft and slightly pink as if well taken care of.

Focus. Focus, you bastard Haerin!

"Are you just going to stand there or tell me what's up?" He muttered.

His voice was all I needed—all I needed to return to reality, as if I had been kicked in the shin.

My fists closed tightly beside me.

He smirked and then raised his head to look at me. "What is it, Miss Kang?"

I blinked.

The way he asked that was so melodic and parent-ish. As if he were talking to a child. This had to be a mockery, right? He was calling me immature, correct?

"I am here for science." My voice was sharp, decisive and confident. All three, a perfect mask because inside, my bladder was already collecting pee.

"A noble pursuit." He nodded, not even glancing at me.

I was wearing trousers today so a kick on his jaw wouldn't be difficult. He obviously needed to know that because he was too casual about me.

This was like a prehistoric episode of me trying to attack an animal twice my size. Perfect homo sapien behaviour.

"You can't imagine how noble this is." I made a beeline for his table, curving my way to him. He didn't look at me until I was close enough to leap at him.

He ducked away. My nails tickled when he got away. Close enough to brush my fingers but not to catch. Fuck. Fuck.

"What are you even—"

I stepped forward, menacing. "All for science, Jeon. Be obedient and surrender."

"To what?" He stepped behind, getting increasingly confused when I charged at him.

My hands attacked. He was quicker. He grabbed my wrists, pushing me behind. I gasped, shocked by the sudden force.

"You brute—!"

"Really?" He smirked, pushing me down on his chair, forcing me to sit. "Did you fall on your head, Miss Kang?"

I twisted in his grip, shaking my arms hard. I knew it was going to hurt later but right now it was all about dominance. I couldn't give a fuck about what would happen later.

"What are you—" he was trying not to get aggressive. I wasn't.

"Just once—! Let me do it!" I twisted my body to make his hands come loose because if he kept holding, we knew I'd be hurt.

And just when he let go, flabbergasted, my fingers attacked. I dug my fingers into the front of his collar. And pulled.

"What the fuck—"

His arms grabbed my shoulders, trying to push me away but my hand was already in his hair.

His eyes shot wide. "You—really—"

My fist gripped his hair and I used all my techniques to spoil his hair as hard as I could. I had to do it.

"Miss Kang—have you gone mad?" His voice rose, defending his head quickly.

I smirked. Victorious. My breath tightened in my chest, wrists trembling as I sank back in his chair, as he looked at me like I had two heads. He paused, hands clutching his head, eyes wide and angry. He was angry.

Good work. I had successfully pissed him off.

"Do you have a death wish, Miss Kang?" He growled, grabbing the handle of the chair and yanking it towards him.

The perfume was hitting the back of my throat now. It was so strong. I hated it. I hated...him.

My face was burning. I blinked rapidly, catching my breath and looking at the mess I had made.

Jae-Hwan. If this was wrong, you were in some serious trouble.

"What the fuck was science about this—"

"It was...!" I softened my voice just enough for him to pause.

His head tilted, examining me like a rooster. His eyes narrowed.

"I wanted to...test your hair!" I pointed at his hair, biting my lip. "Just—that you look like you use a good setting gel. I wanted to give it to my dad so I wanted to test your hair..."

Really, Haerin? Setting gel? Bury a hole already.

"That's a fucking lie." He snarled.

Maybe he didn't like me.

Maybe I was about to die painfully in his cabin. Oh goodness. What had I done? Why did I have to want to piss him off?!

Fucking kill me, Neureva!

Do something! Fucking do something!

Charm! Yes, use charm!

I raised my lashes at him and blinked slowly, breathing through my open mouth. His eyes flicked to my mouth and then up at me.

"Are you mad at me?" I used the weirdest voice I could, trying to act all cute and innocent.

His throat bobbed. "You think?"

"I swear it was just an experiment!" I raised my paws defensively, "I know I did it suddenly because I knew you wouldn't let me if I had asked you."

"So you will force your hands on me?" He raised a brow, and god, I needed tweezers to make them bald so badly that my fingers shook.

Don't apologise. Don't apologise. I was tempted to close it with a sorry, but I had to test his feelings, so I wasn't going to apologise. I was going to give reasons and reasons.

"Why don't I fix your hair again? Sounds good?" I raised my hands and he didn't even move, only stared.

So I took the risk and hesitantly laced my fingers through his thick hair, making sure I was slow and deliberate as I set his hair to perfection back again.

"See? Better now?" I clapped my hands together. "Although no amount of hair-setting is going to make you handsome."

He didn't even blink. He didn't say a word. Just stared.

I gulped, pushing the chair behind and standing up. "That's all that it was. Thanks for contributing to science today, Mr Jeon."

He stood up, dusting his knees and straightening his clothes.

I had a feeling that the mission had failed but I also had a feeling that it hadn't. Maybe I was reading too much into it and maybe Jae-Hwan was about to get choke-slammed for his advice.

I walked out of his cabin, my back landing on the door outside. I blinked at my fingers that had just stroked his hair.

I felt dizzy because I hated him even more.