20

"Isn't this too high-end for a man like him?" Jimin muttered, a steady hand on the wheel as he tried to look at the glowing restaurant. "I guess age gets you wherever you want in Korea. Ridiculous."

Mr Han was finally promoted as a manager, making him equal to Mr Min—and a senior to me, of course. To commemorate this well-deserved achievement, dinner was arranged by his team that evening after working hours. Choga. One of the classiest and uptown restaurants in the vicinity. I had seen it on my way to the office quite a few times. I hated it even more then. And I am no hater but the event was pissing me off.

My team was there only to fulfil formal courtesies for a senior whose murder list they were avoiding. All of us were. Even me.

"True that. Even in women's pants." Seulgi rolled her eyes in the backseat. "That damned pervert—"

"Language, Seulgi." I cut in.

"To hell with language, Haerin!" She grabbed the back of my seat and dipped her head between me and Jimin. Sohyun and Mirae were startled back there. "That bloke doesn't even deserve it—"

"Yeah, he doesn't. But after I park this baby somewhere." Jimin glanced at her and she rolled her eyes.

"You're on the wheel. Park it, Park Jimin." She snapped and then looked at me. "I had to ditch a date for this. And we're not in the office premises so I'm going to say the nastiest shit tonight."

I pinched the bridge of my nose to feign discomfort. Then, a smile crept up on me, "Hell yeah!" I threw my fist in the air.

"Hell yeah!" The three girls roared in the backseat after me. Jimin looked

"Park Jimin! Jimin, park!" They began hollering behind in the seat in a chorus. His brows twitched but he steadily moved the car and parked it behind somewhere in the alley once we confirmed that everywhere else was full.

Choga was too nice.

Our tables were booked on the top floor with a roof-top view of the city. They had replaced natural greenery with artificially glowing pink trees that provided a soothing aura. The laughter around the place almost made it feel nighttime picnic-like. Traditional red lanterns illuminated the people, and unfortunately, the face of Mr Han, who was surrounded by his team, cheering him on to drink more. People were still trickling in and he had the audacity to start drinking already. A soft and cool breeze blew. Some kind of traditional pop music played in the back.

"Look at him go..." Sohyun murmured behind me and then flashed out a comically excited expression as she headed first to congratulate Mr Han.

He looked at the herd approaching him and stood up too fast, stumbling a little and almost compromising the glassware for a second. The fuckery was that he seemed genuinely happy. In the kind of way that makes you feel like a bitch for hating. Nice try, buddy.

Sohyun stepped forward and the other girls followed to congratulate him while I stood there like their mother, watching for their behaviour. I didn't want to. I was too young for this shit.

"Mr Han!" I headed once our eyes met. "Congratulations on your promotion. Truly deserved. I'm glad." I smiled so plastically that I could qualify for a Barbie piece.

"Miss Kang...!" He grinned ecstatically. As if he didn't even know why he shouldn't. "Thank you so much for your wishes." He leaned just a bit closer, touching my elbow.

I glanced at his warm hand on my skin and wished I could jump off from this roof.

"Please. You can have anything you like today. I've made sure you're served well." He continued and Jimin hovered around me again.

"Oh yeah?" He nudged me away only with the touch of his shoulder. I almost stumbled but took that as a sign to leave.

I slid away but managed to catch the horror on Mr Han's face before I officially left.

"Creep." Mirae glared, pulling a chair for me to sit.

"Maybe he did a good job at the interview, guys," I muttered and heard how stupid that sounded aloud.

Wow, Haerin, giving credits away? New low unlocked.

Relock that fucking shit up. Because no.

Seulgi hopped in first, "That man used your training and cleared an interview. Do you honestly think he deserves that role? How many client calls has he been in? Tell me. Can he even solve a single query for anyone present here? Anything I say, he's always like 'Haerin might know.' And now shamelessly, he's grinning like he did it on his own."  "Straight to jail." Mirae tugged my arm, nuzzling up to me. She couldn't leave me a moment where I wasn't her mother figure. "Seulgi's right. Mr Han does come off as creepy and unreliable. Just yesterday," we leaned in to hear her better. "I was in the pantry for some coffee and he sipped from my used cup!"    Our heads snapped at her and I gasped.  "And I thought that it could be because he forgot and I just took my leave from there." She continued, securing my arm like she was trying to forget the incident. "But he's creepy. How can someone like that be promoted? Girls are going to suffer."

Suffer with a capital S, Mirae.

He was creepy like that but he had yet to go so low.

"What? Why didn't you tell us?" Seulgi aggressively gushed. "This could be classified as workplace harassment!"

"I don't know. He apologised for the cup so I thought it would be too much to complain." Mirae shrugged.

We backed off from the conversation as soon as the waiters began serving wines in the glasses on the table. Once they were off, I turned to her again.

"I told you to let me know if something happens, right?" I scowled. "Don't just run off because I will throw hands if he hurts someone from my team."

"Throw hands?" Mirae chuckled.

"Yeah." I nodded and then threw an uppercut in the air. "Like this."

Seulgi and Mirae continued chuckling.

"I can't believe you'd think I already got in the car!" We heard Sohyun's familiar voice approaching the desk and turned.

"Oh, Pigeons pro enter," Seulgi said.

"Pigeons pro?" I chuckled.

Namjoon followed after her, looking like he was about to rip her head off for talking to him.

"You opened the door when I was about to reverse it! Whose fault is it?" He tried not to snap when he saw they were approaching the table now.

Sohyun rolled her eyes and shooed him away with a wave of her hand. She huffed and slammed her bag on the chair next to Seulgi. "I swear I will throw hands someday."

Hearing that, we chuckled together.

"Haerin too." Seulgi thumbed at me.

"Oh yeah?" Sohyun's eyebrows rose. "Sure. Let's overpower that jerk. I tried to help him with the door in the parking lot and he set his car in motion! I hate him!"

"Oh noooo," Seulgi sang, "You love him. You both are at it like pigeons!"

What the heck?

Mirae giggled beside me and I turned to her questioningly.

"Let me explain, " she proudly butt in.

"Please do." Sohyun looked disgusted. "Because this sounds fuck—oh, sorry. No swear—"

"Haerin said it's okay for now." Seulgi interrupted with a concerning amount of excitement.

"Oh wow. Because it sounds fucking bad." Sohyun completed her sentence and then looked at Mirae.

"So," Mirae started and just then a glass clinked.

We turned to look up and saw Mr Han standing up with his wine glass in the air, a fork in his other hand. The crowds around the table turned, forced into silence. With him, stood his manager next to him, who would be leaving in a few days.

"Thank you everyone for joining us this evening." Mr Han's manager stepped in first.

"Oh god, this dumb speech," Seulgi murmured and leaned back, sizing him up like a wrestling opponent in the ring.

That was true.

Dumb speech. Everything was dumb, including me.

"I just think that there would have been no better person to take my place than Mr Han," Mr Han's manager addressed the people. "He has worked very closely with me and I think that matters a lot. I hope he accomplishes even more at Neureva after I'm gone."

Oh god, this sounded like he was dying or something.

In a way, leaving a job was like death. Or maybe a breakup of sorts. It fucking hurts to see someone go even if they've been an asshole throughout.

Speaking of breakups and assholes—my eyes launched at the phone in my hand that refused to give good news. Not even a single text.

What was wrong with him?

"This toast is for his future with you guys. I hope he achieves more. Congratulations, Mr Han."

Everyone clapped until it sounded like it was raining hard.

I smoothened the creases of my skirt, trying to shift in the seat and pretend that I didn't want to pull my hair. I couldn't tell why I was so damn frustrated.

Was I being a bitch by not being happy for him?

Why the hell did I help him so genuinely then? Did I secretly wish he didn't clear the interview?

If I had a cartoon show named after me, it would probably be Bitchie Bitch. Because what the fuck was this behaviour, Haerin?

The waiters served the side dishes one by one as Mr Han rose to complete his formality.

"I just want to appreciate everyone who thought I could do it. I worked very hard for this and I appreciate Neureva for its continued opportunities to improve myself." He raised his glass. "And to the team of all the young and beautiful women who did their bit."

Wha—

"Oh heavens." Hoseok threw his head back, staring at the sky for help. "Peak male downfall."

Seulgi and Sohyun giggled behind the tables but I couldn't even crack a smirk because what the hell? What team of beautiful and young women? And what bit was he talking about?

With the way this was going, some female serial killer was going to find him soon.

People clapped but the weird look on the women's faces couldn't go unnoticed.

Mr Han's eyes met mine and I jumped, slapping my palms together as if I wasn't just shooting daggers at him between everyone else too.

"Did he just do that?" Sohyun scowled and then bent lower. Her neck turned to me. "He didn't even mention you anywhere. Young and beautiful women?"

"Yeah. Lana Del Rey fan, I guess." I bit back with gritted teeth.

Laughter erupted around my side of the table. I blinked. Too many people laughed. More than the ones I should have. Even Mr Min heard it and smirked at me.

It was a weirdly accomplishing moment. Everyone laughing at my joke? I felt like the boss of this world. And it wasn't even that funny, to be honest.

But then, did I have to be so mean about it?

"You kicked me again!" Sohyun snapped suddenly and Namjoon looked furious next to her.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, already getting tired of this.

What was this again?

"Sohyun..." I reached for her hand over Seulgi seated between us.

"Stop it, you pigeons!" Seulgi whispered aggressively.

"What's this about you calling us pigeons?" Sohyun's head snapped to Seulgi.

"Yeah, right." I turned to Mirae. "Weren't you telling us something about it?"

Mirae tucked a hair behind her ear, her cheeks flushed from the rabid intake of alcohol already.

"Yep," she popped the p. "So, it's like what happens with pigeons. They look like they're battling but...they're actually making babies, you know?"

"Hah?" Sohyun blared.

"It looks like they are angry but I think Pigeons have sex that's too violent or something." She waved dismissively. "You both look like that. Like you hate each other—"

"But the only reason you quarrel so much is because you like each other." Seulgi completed it fast, snapping her fingers at them as if she had just launched a comeback at them.

"WHAT?!" Sohyun was flustered. Her face peaked red in a split second. "What the fuck? How does that happen? Oh, then do countries fight each other, because they want to kiss?"

"Sure." Mirae tapped in, leaning over my shoulder to draw closer to them. "I'm positive the leaders of those countries kiss each other goodnight. Every. Night."

"Eeeewww!!!" Sohyun screeched slapping her hands on her ears as if that could stop what she had just heard. A few people looked at us but—meh. Who cared?

What the hell was I listening to? Arguing because you like each other? That's some sadistic shit going on in their heads.

My head snapped between both of them and I saw Namjoon standing above us. Shocked.

His ears. His ears were red.

"Nonsense." He grunted, stepping behind like we had just slapped him front and centre. "Utter nonsense." He said and turned on his heel, flying out of there like it was raining pee on fire over here.

Coward. He didn't even deny it. Maybe he did like her.

Was that how attraction worked in certain situations? This wasn't a rom-com. People in real life didn't actually go wooing people they hate, right?

Because I fucking hate everybody. Guess what? I like everybody in that case. These girls were obviously drunk.

I hadn't had a single sip of my drink. I reached for it, contemplating if I wanted any of it at all. I mean, this wasn't the kind of place that could make me stomach alcohol.

"Did anyone see the new drama where the CEO has amnesia?" Seulgi caught another track and the laughter and giggles died away. And besides, Sohyun wasn't very kind when she was flustered so nobody was going to push this more. Maybe I could write it in her yearly report. 'Needs to learn to take jokes'. Something like that.

Something buzzed on my lap and my heart dropped.

Oh, fuck.

Jong Suk?

I snatched the phone and clicked it open.

Jong Suk!

My heart pounded in my ears. I opened his message swiftly like a desperate jerk.

Jong Suk (Last seen: a few seconds ago): We need to talk. Outside your office tomorrow morning? 7:30?

That was all. That was the message.

He wanted to talk to me.

I couldn't laugh anymore. Who cared about the amnesiac CEO when I could explode like a bomb in a war drama going on live?

I blinked at the text. I stared at it like he had asked me for money. A painful gulp. Then, I typed out a simple K. Not even 'okay'. Just K. That way at least, I wouldn't come off as desperate as I actually was.

He had just robbed my sleep for the night. Thanks, you dumbass.

•••

I tried way too hard to look like I hadn't tried way too hard the next morning. Like, I just woke up and looked this good. Nobody wakes up and looks so good. But men don't know. And I know better. So I made sure I had done everything to look flawless as I dressed up that Friday morning.

It was the final Friday—my assessment Friday. That cybersecurity dickhead would finally be out of sight after this one. I couldn't believe it was already a month since I made that tragic mistake of clicking on that phishing link. But finally, I could now proceed to have a normal life after this. Just this stupid assessment and then boom. Happy life.

So I had to make sure I was Miss Korea for this one. And I did handle it perfectly even though I had barely slept last night. The forty winks I had, I dreamt about 'we need to talk' over and over again. Miss Korea lessons in my dream told me to pick the sassiest simple outfit in my wardrobe.

Clean. Simple. Beautiful.

I chose the soft cream knit blouse, with a stupidly fancy button-up that made me look like I didn't play with toy cars in my room secretly. I love toy cars. I can make my small dolls sit on them too and zoom around like some—wait. Reporting, the soldier has lost track. Asking for its return to the chosen topic. It had the softest V collar that slimmed my face. To pair it, I chose my navy flared trousers, secured tightly at the waist with a black belt. They were the kind that made my legs look longer than they were. Finally, I chose some sweet black pencil-heeled boots underneath it. A fancy white clip-on handbag that Jong Suk didn't know about. So that I had something he wouldn't play a memories cassette to.

I was there in front of the glass building at sharp 7:29 on the clocks. That punctual brat had made me overly conscious and I didn't want to look like I had all the time in the world. So maybe if I pretended like I had a flight to catch, I could dance around later at how the kiss didn't matter.

Kudos to my soft pink lipstick from FC in the shade Magnetic 02 that made sure I was still gentle enough.

I waited, gulping, walking around and greeting a few people I hadn't planned to meet there but had to wave forcefully. God damn them for choosing this side of the premises on the Friday I was waiting for my ex-boyfriend to show up.

And he did show up. Right when I was about to kill myself for wearing high-heeled boots. All black coat, white button up, haggard hairstyle just to show me he could look good with anything. So what if he pulled off everything like he was the brand ambassador? I didn't have to care, right?

He looked at me.

He looked at me like he was...sad? What was so fucking sad about this thing? I wanted to grab his collar, kick him in the nuts and ask him that. But—civil. Civil, I was.

"I remember you always used to be late. I fixed that." He smiled like his lips were too heavy.

Something about that didn't sit right with me.

"I was better when I used to run late." I sneered, forcing my teeth at him. I hoped he saw how clean they were. I even flossed them that morning.

His mouth curled again but again with that tired type. As if he was depressed or something.

"What's with that face, Jong Suk?" I tilted my head, folding my arms at my chest. "What did you want to talk about?"

"It's..." He tried but then waited and then sighed. And honestly, that was pissing me off now. "I just...I wanted to be the person who told you this before anyone else did. It would hurt me more if you found out from someone else..."

His nuts were just asking for my knee at this point. I hated this version of him.

"Wait." I gasped. "Is your dad okay? Did something—"

"No. He's fine. He's fine, Haerin." He sterned.

My shoulders relaxed a little. Mr Lee was a kind man. He never interfered with his son's love life, unlike some very mean old ladies who became mothers of these kinds of sons. Sons who knew me, per se.

So his father didn't deserve to be sad in any way.

"Then what is it?" I tried to sound uninterested.

"I..." His voice drowned out into the noise of people around us, and suddenly it looked like he didn't want to say it.

He looked like he was in pain, incoming in tears or something but not crying yet.

He dug his hands into the pocket of his expensive coat, revealing a white envelope.

He held it out to me.

I looked between the envelope and the man standing before me.

"What—" I started but stopped and took the envelope instead.

I gulped, examining the outside of it. There was nothing written on it. I opened and revealed a gold-plated card. Something like a hard and high-quality paper. It was framed with borders that were too sophisticated for me.

I had no choice but to skim.

There it was. The font. The bold words. The elegance. I knew this even though I rarely saw something like this.

I knew this like the beat of my heart.

I pushed the card back in and flipped the envelope close in a flash.

"I'm getting married this weekend."

Time stilled.

I raised my head to look at him. My arms fell beside me, the envelope hanging by a death grip.

"I...think it is better this way." He mumbled to himself. "Haerin." He called me.

I didn't answer.

"Haerin, I know that this must be shocking to you. And believe me when I say, I tried so hard to get through this." His voice sank. His fingers. They trembled when he drove them through his hair.

"I'm going to get married on Sunday and then leave with my—my fianceé for New York." He confessed. "It just happened so fast and my mother—"

Guilt spawned on his face. Just a flick of it before it turned into desperation to crawl out of it.

"Isn't this what you wanted, Haerin? For me to move on? It's happening." He tried to produce a small laugh that sounded like a scoff.

He wasn't scoffing. I knew it.

"Haerin?"

He stepped closer.

"I'm...I'm really sorry, Haerin." He held my arms, probably wanting to get a reaction.

"Haerin?" He called again.

The sound of the birds flapping above me consumed my mind. There were people around us. I could hear soft laughs. Familiar. Unfamiliar. They were blending.

"God—you're not even blinking."

I was shoved into his arms, my body pressing into his heart. It was beating rampantly. Too fast. Too uncontrolled.

"I just—I'm so sorry, Haerin."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOQ_-gZsnYQ