Chapter 26 - Severus

"Why did you not tell me!" Severus barked at Dumbledore once Asha's footsteps had faded. The headmaster looked at him and sighed. He went over to his desk and sank into his chair. Albus suddenly looked very tired.

"You must understand, Severus," he said wearily.

"No, I certainly do not understand," Severus snapped. He marched over to Dumbledore and planted his hands on the desk, leaning over him. "I thought you trusted me! I needed to know this!"

"The fewer people know of her existence, the better things will be for everyone," Dumbledore said calmly.

"But me, Albus! Why not tell me? Clearly you needed someone to watch her more closely. I caught her in the restricted section of the library looking at Slytherin lineage over two years ago!"

Severus' accusing glare bored into Dumbledore, but the old man seemed infuriatingly lost in thought.

"Have I not proven my loyalty to you?" Severus continued, "have I not risked my life concealing truths from the Dark Lord? Have I not told you that I am willing to do so again if, Merlin forbid, the time arises?"

"That is exactly it, Severus," said Dumbledore suddenly, standing to meet him at eye level. "When Lord Voldemort returns, you will be the one to deceive him. I could not risk information about Asha falling into his hands if your Occlumency were to falter."

Severus opened his mouth in outrage but Dumbledore pressed on. "I have no doubt she will have a crucial part to play in the war that is to come. In what way exactly, I am not certain. But she is our wild card - we must keep her close to our chest and we cannot lose her."

"You say that," began Severus, his voice now dangerously quiet, "and yet you put her entire mind at risk with that atrocity of memory-altering magic!"

"You are right," admitted Dumbledore, "it was a complex and unstable form of magic. When instincts and habits sneak through, short circuits can be triggered. I thought after she shielded the rock during the First Task, the magic had continued to do its job and she would be perhaps a little confused but not any more troubled than that. I see now it dislodged one of the barriers in her mind and the deterioration of the spell began."

You have no idea, thought Severus. He paced the room, thinking over all that had come to light in the last hour.

"What a ridiculous scheme," he spat, "to send a sixteen-year-old into Hogwarts as if they were eleven!"

"I know," said Dumbledore severely, "but I chose to take the risk. And up until this point, it seemed to have paid off. I was lucky. She chose to play the part well. Until recently she was always intent on blending in. I'm afraid that now that is something I am going to have to convince her to do." The two men met eyes and a knowing look passed between them; that was going to be difficult.

"What form of physical concealing magic did you use?" asked Severus after a moment, "she is clearly not a fourth year."

Dumbledore's lips twitched into a small, sad smile.

"Ah," he said, "this type of spell requires no magic, Severus, "it's quite simple. People see what they expect to see."

Severus opened his mouth to argue the ludicrousy of the suggestion but Dumbledore cut in, "It is a more powerful tendency than one would expect."

"Nonsense!" said Severus, "Perhaps that trick works on the less observant, but I would have noticed."

"And yet," said Dumbledore, motioning with his hands, "here we are."

Severus scowled. He walked over to the window and drummed his fingers on the stone sill.

"How did you find her?" he asked abruptly, before turning around. "What was it that happened that led to an article in the Muggle newspaper?"

"That," said Dumbledore firmly, " is her story to tell, if she ever wishes."

Severus had had enough of Albus' mistrust and deception.

"You should not have lied to me," he said angrily, "surely I have proved that I am an unassailable Occlumens and more than capable of keeping your most precious secrets. I would die before relinquishing such sensitive information to the other side. I thought you would know that."

Severus left enough time to receive a typical unreadable look from Dumbledore before he too stormed out of the office.

*

Asha was sitting on the bannister of the Astronomy Tower balcony, dangling her legs over into the abyss. Looking down at the sheer drop and the tiny trees below gave her a sickening, twisting sensation in her chest. She liked it. It distracted her from the terrible truth and emotion that suffused her mind. Twenty, she thought, twenty years old... An hour ago she'd been fifteen.

There was a soft click and a disturbance of air behind her. Snape. Asha didn't turn around. The sound of running footsteps suddenly filled the peaceful silence and a hand locked around her bicep.

"Get down from there, Winters!" Snape hissed.

"Get off me!" Asha snapped. She turned to find herself face to face with the dark-haired man. Using her free arm she shoved his shoulder hard and he released his grip. He scowled, but his eyes flicked to the three-hundred-foot drop.

"I'm not going to jump, if that's what you're worried about," Asha remarked bitterly. When Snape still didn't back off she added, "and if I somehow fall I can catch myself."

"If you can get your wand out in time, that is," Snape growled. Asha rolled her eyes at him.

Despite Snape's clear disapproval, he eventually relented and moved away from her. He stood looking stoically over the balcony, his hands resting on the railing. Asha looked back out over the Hogwarts grounds. She didn't know how to feel about him being there. She had wanted to be alone.

"Did someone see me come up here?" she asked stiffly, "how did you find me?" 

"You're very predictable," said Snape dryly. A burst of anger slipped through Asha's emotional dam.

"Oh!" she exclaimed in mock surprise, " I didn't realise you managed to predict I was the demon spawn of Lord Voldemort." At that, Snape looked over and their eyes met. "Or that I was half a decade older than I said I was," Asha scowled. He didn't respond. "Fuck you, Severus," she shot at him.

"Don't call me that," said Snape in a low, icy voice, "you are a student, Winters."

Asha scoffed in utter outrage.

"Are you seriously going to tell me that right now?" she demanded, "After everything you just heard?" After a beat, she added nastily, "You're more of an idiot than I thought you were."

Snape's aloof expression didn't so much as twitch. She was lashing out as a result of her intense feelings of anger and loss and they both knew it.

"Now, more than ever, is the time to remember that you are a student, Winters," he said not unkindly, before turning back to the mountainous view.

It was the afternoon and the descending winter sun cast golden light and long shadows across the white landscape. The dark cloud from earlier in the day had passed.

There was a chill in the air but Severus' warm cloak still lay abandoned in the dungeon corridor from what felt like days ago when he had chased the girl through the castle. He had already missed one of his classes this morning and he knew he had a group of sixth years to get to. But right now he needed to figure out what sort of state this girl was in. If Asha chose to draw attention to herself now, or leave the castle, the consequences could be disastrous. Trust Dumbledore to unintentionally leave this mess up to him.

When it was clear Asha wasn't going to say anything more, he asked, "What are you thinking?"

The truth was, Asha had no idea what to think of it all. On one hand, she was so relieved for the clarity and renewed strength she now felt. On the other hand... well, she didn't even want to think about it. Flashes of painful truths and memories continued to bombard her mind.

Severus watched Asha out of the corner of his eye. Her whole demeanour had returned to what it had been in her first year at Hogwarts, perhaps to even more of an extent. Her face was inscrutable, her expressions controlled and purposeful. He also thought back to what Dumbledore had said - 'people see what they expect to see'. He turned to look at her properly. The girl looked exactly the same as she had a week ago, if not a little gaunt and unwell. How could he not have noticed she was practically a woman?

After a long moment, Asha simply shrugged at him. Then she adjusted her position so she was still perched on the bannister but her back was leaned against the wall of the arch and one leg was propped up on the railing. Severus eyed her warily. He was still uncomfortable with her precarious position. He didn't want to be made partially responsible for the death of one of Dumbledore's finest assets against the Dark Lord.

"Can you at least hold your wand?" he sighed irritably.

After a moment of challenging Snape's glare, Asha raised her arm, propping it lazily on her knee. Then, in a split second, her wand flew from her inside pocket and snapped straight into her hand like a magnet. Upon witnessing Asha's display of why she wasn't concerned about being able to reach her wand before she hit the ground, Snape hid his surprise. He glanced at the wand in her hand, then returned his gaze to the view. Asha took the opportunity to study him. 

After a moment, she said, "I wonder why Dumbledore was so determined not to tell you about me, if he trusts you as much as you think he does."

Snape's jaw tensed.

"I mean, your curiosity and meddling were very close to becoming a liability," she continued, "and it's not like you're one to spread gossip." The side of her mouth twitched into a sardonic half-smile.

Severus gave nothing away. He certainly wasn't going to explain his involvement with the Death Eaters, or tell her it was likely the Dark Lord would return.

He met her eyes and, ignoring her subtle smirk, stated blandly "The headmaster was, and still is, unaware of how much I have observed of you."

Asha grunted and looked away. Then she had a thought.

"Did my lovely father murder some of your friends and family then?" she asked darkly. The slightest flinch in Snape's posture gave her her answer. "Ah," she mused in a hard, loathing voice. She had never hated anyone as much as she hated her 'father'. To think that fifty percent of him... was her. She couldn't comprehend it.

"Are you considering arranging my death?" she asked Snape bluntly, "as posthumous revenge? Maybe that's why Dumbledore didn't want you knowing." The harshness of her voice grew. "In fact, I supposed most of the people in this school would know someone he killed." Then, out of nowhere, Asha's fury returned in full strength and she sent a ball of purple light hurtling from her left palm. It flew straight past Snape's nose and exploded into the opposite wall of the arch.

Severus lept back in alarm, looking from the scorched, crumbling circle of stone, to Asha who still had her palm raised. Severus rushed at her and grasped hold of both of her wrists.

"You can't do that!" he hissed angrily. He could feel her practically shaking with rage. "People cannot find out about your abilities, Asha. You have no idea how important that is. Now that you have control over them, you should not be using them at any time where anyone might see you. Do you understand?"

The urgency in Snape's voice caught Asha's attention more than his fingers digging into her wrists. She forced herself to take some deep breaths and damper the magical energy pulsing through her veins. She finally met Snape's burning black eyes and he released her. Tucking her wand away, Asha slid off the railing and leant her elbows on it, holding her head in her hands.

"What am I going to do?" she groaned. She sensed Snape leaning on the bannister next to her. "I mean, first off, what am I going to tell my friends? They saw me flip out and break all that glass. And I'm going to have to think of some convincing, convoluted lie about the scar for Maive." Asha gave a short, sharp laugh, "Ha, fucking hell, ninety percent of what I tell them is lies and that was before I found out most of my life was one."

"Good," Severus said curtly, "that means you'll be good at it." Asha cast him a scathing look. "Now is not the time to be thinking about the future. For now, even just for the next few days, you simply need to focus on blending in."

When the girl still didn't look convinced, he continued: "Your life will be at risk if people find out who you are. It's safest not to raise any questions or suspicions. And by staying alive and keeping your existence and abilities secret, you will be able to..." Severus stopped, realising he had said too much. This was for Albus to deal with, not him. Discussing Asha's potential to fight against her father was crucial and needed to be done carefully.

"Able to what?" she prompted. He ignored her. She sighed and straightened up. Severus suddenly became aware of how tall she was. "You know, Dumbledore still didn't explain why he had to wipe my memory," said Asha. She held eye contact with him as she talked, something Severus wasn't used to receiving from most people, and certainly not students. Though, he reminded himself, she wasn't really a student.

Severus was already struggling with having to adjust the way he viewed Asha. The girl had clearly been through many more life experiences and hardships than most people her true age. He knew he had sensed something off about her demeanour as soon as he'd held a proper conversation with her in Abersoch. At the time he couldn't put his figure on it. But now he realised it was her maturity and awareness of the world. Sometimes she had shown a disconcerting skill of reading him better than most of the adults he interacted with.

Severus forced himself out of his muse and focused on Asha's question: Why had her memory been wiped?

"It is a well-known legend among those who fought for the Dark Lord, and those who fought against him, that one of his blood is still out there," he said. "If it was public knowledge that an orphan of the correct age and gender was suddenly plucked from a foreign country and enrolled into Hogwarts by Dumbledore-"

"Yes, yes, I know," Asha said impatiently, "I get why I need to be hidden. But I wasn't just some stupid sixteen-year-old when he found me. I was street-smart and strong-minded. And had plenty of practice at pretending to be younger than I was. He could've just explained the situation to me and convinced me to play the part of a first year."

"I doubt that would have worked," said Severus earnestly. "You would've had no concept of the Wizarding World. No understanding of The War and of the Dark Lord's devastation."

Asha bit the inside of her lip. She knew he was right.

"Besides," Snape continued, "it's one thing to pass as looking like an eleven-year-old. But acting like one, day in and day out? I doubt that after the life you had lived you would've fit in with even those your true age."

Asha couldn't help but smile bitterly at the truth of his words. She'd felt surrounded by immature children without the memories of her teenage years. Her un-memory-altered, sixteen-year-old self would've been utterly infuriated by the kids in this castle.

She and the potions professor stood in silence for a minute or so, until Severus said thoughtfully, "I also wonder if it was important for you to learn magic the conventional way. It may have been a challenge to adapt to the use of incantations and a wand after using... whatever is it you learnt to do." He gave her a critical look. Asha just shrugged.

A loud ringing sounded from the Bell Towers. Severus pursed his lips.

"Late for a class?" Asha asked him. He grunted, before smoothing the front of his coat and heading for the door. As he opened it, he turned back and gave her a piercing look.

"Stay out of trouble," he said in a deep, stern voice. Asha grimaced at him in a sort of sad smile.

The sound of the Astronomy Tower door swinging shut left her feeling slightly empty.

*

A/N: I know they shouldn't, but votes and comments make me way more excited to write more... so you know what to do ;) I've got so much more planned for this story! Including a classic Yule Ball chapter haha

Love you all and thank you so much for the support!

- El