1 (Y/n)

The name in the chapter means whose POV is it 

I let go of a heavy breath upon stretching on my bed, enjoying the cold of the sheets against my warm naked skin. Still sleepy and with closed eyes I let go of a yawn, feeling pleasure after stretching my slightly sore muscles. Once I opened my eyes after a while, I noticed the morning warm sunlight falling onto my face and part of my bed, and if it weren't for the horrible headache I had, I would most likely have stayed there for longer, thinking about how well I had slept that night. 

But of course, the throbbing pain at both sides of my head wouldn't allow me to do that. So I sat up, only now actually thinking about the fact that I was completely naked. But upon trying to remember last night my headache only worsened. Even more when I couldn't find any tiny memory.

"Shit," I mumbled, holding my head with one hand and the sheets covering my chest with the other one "I shouldn't have drunk that much..." I scolded myself with a whine, but I simply couldn't help it. I was happy to finally be back in Konoha, the place I loved and adored so much. And free of all the seriousness that came with being on a prolonged mission. 

I scrunched my nose when I noticed a strange smell. It wasn't a bad smell. Actually, it kinda smelled charming. So much, in fact, that when I discovered that the source of it was the pillow next to mine I couldn't help but snuggle close to it in comfort, wondering where did it come from. Or seeing that I was naked and the room smelled like sex, who was it from. 

My eyes widened at a memory, the last thing I remembered. I was dancing with Kurenai and her cousin Yui. Then... Kurenai went with Asuma, and Yui and I stayed with Kakashi and Yamato. I hugged the pillow tighter, yawning while I tried to remember some more. I talked with Kakashi and... 

I blushed when I remembered some of our interactions, thinking of how strange he had acted. Sure I did as well, I was under the influence of a lot of alcohol. But I never, and I mean never, had seen Kakashi acting interested toward anyone. 

'He probably was messing around like I was' I thought, yawning again 'And drunk' Then I tried to remember some more. I went dancing alone again. And... 

I sat up when I remembered him and me so close on the dancefloor, not dancing but rather rubbing against each other while talking into each other's ears. But whenever I tried to remember what we talked about, or what happened next, the horrible pain pierced my brain.

"Damn it!" I cursed, hitting the bed. 'I either fucked him... or I fucked someone else, which wouldn't be a surprise' 

Throughout the whole morning, I desperately tried to remember. Not only because obviously, I'd want to know if I fucked Kakashi Hatake, not to talk about seeing under his mask and jonin clothes... But also because if I had fucked someone else, I also wanted to know who. 

To be honest, I'd be surprised if it actually was Kakashi. Like I said before, I had never seen him act interested in anyone. And I don't even mean romantically or sexually. Kakashi Hatake was a kind and polite man, but he was very distant with everyone. Even his closest friends like Asuma and Gai. I always saw him as the loner kinda guy, or independent if you prefer. Not that I don't understand though, and to be fair, that was probably what added to his mysterious and attractive aura that I think every woman and possibly man in Konoha acknowledged of him. I had still yet to find a human being that didn't admit Kakashi's sex appeal. And the man had never even shown his face and body... Which again, probably only added but to everyone's fantasies. Mines included. 

Yes, I was attracted to him, everyone was. But I also knew how unavailable he was, which never failed to surprise me knowing the type of books he loved so much... But even if he wasn't I wouldn't be attracted to him in a 'serious' way. Firstly, because I did not have serious relationships. I simply didn't, they weren't for me. I wanted the freedom of flings, loved how powerful it felt whenever I got the person I wanted. How thrilling it was to flirt with someone, feeling the igniting magnetism growing between us. And how good it felt to be worshipped by so many. It made me feel loved, powerful. 

And secondly, because he was Kakashi Hatake. He still had obvious traumas from his past, which I understood, but I also understood it probably wouldn't allow him to have any healthy relationship. Which was why he most likely didn't even bother either. And to be fair, I probably wouldn't be capable of having a healthy relationship either.

In short, that was the reason why I never even bothered going after Kakashi. Why would I waste my time when there were so many hot men and women that would be interested in me. But exactly for this reason, if I actually had ended up fucking with him, I wanted to know. And on God, I swear if that was the case and my brain didn't remember anything of it I'd be so pissed...

In any case, after filling my stomach with something light and taking a few painkillers for my hangover, I headed to the Hokage's office to know whether the 3rd would give me some mission soon or luckily let me rest for a while. And I did hope it was the latter one. At the same time, I planned on asking Kakashi about what happened if I came across him. How I'd do so, though, I still wasn't sure. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, fate had me meet with Kakashi sooner rather than later. Just right when I was leaving the Hokage's office it was his chest that I bumped into. 

"Ouch, sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," I apologized, rubbing my nose before I looked up at the taller person I had smashed my face with "Kakashi," I said unconsciously, he smiled at me with one of his typical closed-eye smiles that always had me wondering whether they were fake or genuine.

"You okay?" he simply asked, as I still had my hand over my nose. But I had simply left it there out of the surprise of bumping into him, of all people.

"Yeah, uh... I actually wanted to ask you something" I finally said, going back to my usual self instead of my distracted self. He looked at me but said nothing, waiting for me to say whatever was on my mind. I looked down for a few seconds, pondering about how to phrase it "I can't seem to remember last night well, and I..." my skin turned warmer before I said those words because now imagine he's not the one I fucked. Which honestly, seemed to be the most plausible option "Did we fuck?" I asked lowly so that nearby people didn't hear me. 

He blinked a couple of times but didn't say anything. And the fact that his face remained devoid of any feeling or emotion, or at least the side of his face that was visible, only made me more nervous. I swallowed, starting to feel more intimidated by him than I normally was. Because yes, even after all this time I still couldn't help but feel smaller than him. It had its logic back when I met him in the anbu. He was my captain and I was a newbie, and thus I admired and looked up to him. But he used to be a dick, a complete and uttermost jerk. To me, but to everyone else as well. I had to admit though, that he had changed for good, and in fact, he even apologized to me for how he treated me back then. And although it was fine for me, we still had gone through many things in the anbu so there was still some tension between us. 

"You don't remember what happened?" he asked, but the way he asked... I couldn't tell if he was asking because we had fucked, or because we had not and I did something stupid. More stupid than fucking someone and not remembering who...

I rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment, looking away as I felt my cheeks burn. And I shook my head in denial. He did a thinking sound, making me look at him again, expectant. 

"Maybe it's for the better. I should go now" he simply said heading back to where he was going before I smashed my face against his chest.

His words, were nothing like I expected. I expected a yes, or a no. But not that, so I got stuck for a while. For the better? Why?

"Wait, but—" I snapped out of my doubts, but by then there was no sign of Kakashi near me as if he had completely disappeared "Damn it" I cursed lowly. 

Throughout the day I tried to find Kakashi so that I could ask what he mean by that. But it was to no avail. I looked at Ichiraku, at the book store, training grounds, even his house, and he was nowhere to be found. And although I couldn't stop thinking about his answer, I lastly decided not to ponder anymore. He must remember or know what happened or else that wouldn't have been his answer, so all I had to do was find him some other day. If worst came to worst, I could even ask Kurenai or Yui if they remembered anything that could give me a hint. Although I'd prefer not to let them know I got so drunk I couldn't even remember what happened. 

In any case, when I was walking through the main street of Konoha, in my searches of Kakashi, I bumped into a fellow handsome ninja. But of course he was attractive, it was Genma Shiranui, and we had had our flings as well in the past. Damn, he was actually one of the best men I'd ever been with. But the main reason we talked for a while was that he wanted to invite me to a party, that of course, I accepted. And thank God I did because guess who I found at the party. Yeah, Kakashi. 

"Wait, so after all this time you didn't even think of telling me that you came back?" Genma said to me over the music of the house, holding his beer while I held mine as well, and next to us sat other ninjas that were either too drunk already, or talking and flirting among themselves as well. I giggled at his words, seeing the teasing smirk he had while saying them "Now I feel hurt" he added, slightly closer to my ear, making me feel his hot breath on my skin. 

I laid my hand on his collarbone, pushing him slightly away, but at the same time keeping him close. Just laying it there to assert my own power as well. He smiled at the gesture and for a second his eyes traveled to my lips, making me smile even further. 'Eager aren't we?' I thought to myself. 

"What can I say," I started with such an innocent tone that it definitely didn't sound innocent at all "I think it's been too long for me to remember you with that much... longing" his smile widened, and his eyes betrayed him by lingering on my lips again, inching closer to my face. 

"Mhm, maybe we could fix that," he said, now so close that I could feel his breath against my lips that I obviously and consciously licked.

"Maybe, but I don't know if it will be enough" I answered, teasing him while I moved my hand to the back of his soft hair. 

He smiled once more, closing the distance and kissing me which I answered almost immediately. One of his hands moved to my hip gripping it tightly as it moved to my ass. I smiled and moved my leg over his lap while I untangled his bandana. But before I could, his lips traveled to my neck, making me open my eyes with a tiny smile. A smile of pleasure that faded as soon as I spotted a silver-haired ninja across the room. 

I thought he saw me, I couldn't quite tell, but that wasn't what made my mood drop. It was that after searching for him all day it was here, at a random party I got invited last minute that I found him. I pushed Genma away slightly, smiling at him again while I looked at his lips and bit on my lower one. 

"I need to leave for a sec. It'll be quick" I said to him, caressing his chest with my hands. 

"Must you?" he said, kissing me again, but this time slightly more delicately "I thought you wanted me to show you what longing is" he said seductively over my lips, and the thought of what he could do to show me made my lower belly flutter. I kissed his lips, but only for a second like he had done. 

"Yeah, and that's why I'll leave you longing for me" I said, and stood up and left before he could even say anything. I tried to go where I had seen Kakashi before, but once again he wasn't there. It was then when a thought came to mind. He couldn't be avoiding me, could he? God, what on earth did I do last night. 

When I reached the place I saw him at I asked people around, but they only knew he had left. The direction though? They didn't pay attention. So in the end, I had to look here and there in that house that thankfully wasn't that big. Yet I ended up by the garden of the house, embracing my body due to the chilliness of the night. 

I sighed, remaining there for a few seconds while I enjoyed the quietness and solitude of the place. Well, I could still hear the loud music but being muffled by the windows and door made it seem completely silent in comparison with the inside of the house. 'I guess I'll just go back inside. Hopefully, Genma will still be available 

"Are you looking for someone?" A voice spooked me out of my thoughts as I hadn't even heard anybody get out of the house. I turned around, slightly frowning by being crept up on like that. And that frown didn't disappear when I saw who it was. 

"Yes, you. Where the hell were you?" I asked Kakashi who seemed as unbothered as always. 

"I went to pee..." he said pointing inside the house a little confused. Which made me feel once again slightly embarrassed "So? What did you want"

I snapped out of it, uncrossing my arms and thus losing the small warmth they had given me while I was out in the cold "You didn't answer my question earlier"

"Ah, I believe I did" he said, disagreeing with me. 

"Ah, no you didn't" I copied his tone, crossing my arms once again "I still don't know what happened"

"Maybe you shouldn't drink that much then?" he said with a playful tone that didn't help ease the sass. I smiled fakely at him but extremely exaggerating how sarcastic the smile was. 

"Will you tell me, or not?" I sighed. He stayed in silence for a long time, at least it seemed long. But his expression didn't change the bare minimum during that time.

"It's complicated" he just said, again not answering me. 'How can it be complicated?! Just tell me yes or no!' "And I'm tired" he yawned before walking past me, heading out of the house and into the street.

I clicked my tongue and looked inside the house to where Genma and I were a few minutes ago, but it was another girl that was in my place now. I scrunched my nose, bothered by it, but ended up sighing. 'There goes tonight's fun...' Then I looked to my other side where Kakashi's figure started to get smaller as he walked away. I made up my mind and caught up to him. 

"Well I've got time" I said when I got to him. He only gave me a side glance, his hands still shoved deep into his pockets. 

"You sure about that? There's still time to get a little drunker tonight" he said, making me roll my eyes and definitely testing my patience. 

"Maybe I will, once I know if we fucked, or not" I decided to stand my ground "You know, it's a pretty simple question. Or perhaps your poor social skills don't let you know how to answer something that simple?" I said teasing him back. He gave me another sideglance, this one a little harsher, making me shrink at his side and wonder if maybe I had gone too far. He then sighed.

"I think I liked you more when you were drunk" I clicked my tongue and hit his shoulder "I'm kidding" he then chuckled. There was a small silence in between us again, but I didn't want to be that much annoying so I just looked at him in expectancy "What would you have liked to happen?" he asked. And I thought about it for a second, but immediately realized it was a trap. 

"That's not a fair question" I retorted trying not to smile because I was proud of my answer. He chuckled though, acknowledging the truth in my words. And after a short silence, I finally had my answer. 

"We fucked" 

And now that I finally knew, I couldn't help but feel my skin hot. Desperately trying to remember, but it still was to no avail. And honestly, it just made it worse, to be standing next to him, knowing that we both had sex, that I had seen him naked and had him inside of me, yet I couldn't remember. And he did... Gosh, it was embarrassing. 'Well at least I know what happened, and I'm glad it wasn't some random weirdo'

"I'm sorry," he then said, probably after I stayed silent for longer than I wanted. I just had too many things to think about "I asked you if you were sober enough, but I still shouldn't have continued. I'm really sorry" he said looking at the ground, seeming genuinely sorry. Which for some reason made me feel even better. 

"It's alright," I said with a cheery smile "I don't regret it at all" my words seemed to ease him, and although I had finally got my answer we kept walking in silence. At least until a question appeared in my mind "Can I ask you something?" He looked at me for a second and nodded "Did you wear your mask?" 

"No" 

"Fuck," I couldn't help but curse a loud "Okay I regret one thing" I changed my previous words. He looked at me arching a brow "I regret that I can't remember it. It's not fair..." I mumbled the last part to myself. 

He looked at me for some more time, still arching a brow. But I didn't realize because I was too focused on trying to remember something, anything. I only realized after the silence became heavier and I looked at him, realizing the meaning of my words, which made me flush and smile shyly. 

"I mean, it's unfair that you get to remember it but I don't" I said stopping as he had stopped as well. After all, I had been following him to what I now knew was his house. 'Right, he said he was tired and it is kinda late' 

He looked at me for a few seconds again, tilting his head slightly, which for some reason only made me blush harder. He turned around and unlocked the door to his house. 

"Well," he then said, catching my attention This time it was me the one to arch a brow because my skin couldn't be any warmer so my surprise had to take form in some other way. He looked at me for a few seconds, and this time I wasn't able to not stare at his eyes closely. His dark eyes, half-lidded and shiny due to the faint light of the doorstep. They were in fact quite charming "if you ever want to remember, you know where to find me"