Sweet Nothing

Standing in the dimly lit bunk hall I felt hands slink around my waist, it was Noah of course, with his large hands, his fingers worked to pull my shirt up before slipping under and caressing my skin. "What are you up to?" I asked curiously.

"Just checking," he whispered in my ear, "Making sure you're still following the rules" his fingers met the lace of my bra just then, before moving on to tease me through the thin material.

"I haven't slipped up yet actually" I said as I turned to face him.

"Oh, is that so?" he questioned lowly. "I've been missing our alone time, craving your touch" his voice caused a shiver to go down my spine.

His touch set my skin on fire, I wanted nothing more than to throw my morals away and do it here and now on the bus; but I held it together, I just stood there and took his touch on my body like it didn't destroy me mentally. "You're going to drive me crazy like this Noah" I said quietly as to not be heard in to front of the bus where everyone was gathered.

"I don't really care" he sighed as he went on letting his hands wander my body. "One day" he said before suddenly his hands vanished from my body, and he slipped into the front of the bus. That bastard.

My patience was running thin and I don't know how much longer I can take, I don't understand how Noah has been able to act so calm and collected about the whole thing. Is he just as much of a mess as I am on the inside? Bending down to tie my shoes I readied myself for the day ahead. Standing up straight I shoved my things back into my bunk before joining everyone up front.

"They know Alex, they know" Nick teased as I stepped into the room.

"Who knows what?" I stopped just inside the door.

"Everyone" he raised his eyebrows as he spoke. "Knows about you"

"And Noah" Jolly added in without the enthusiasm Nick's voice held.

"Oh," an unsettling feeling washed over me, this was new, I felt as though I just got comfortable with the most recent changes in my life and now, now my veil of safety is gone. Gone are the days of being the unnoticed photographer. "What does this mean?" I asked quietly. My eyes scanned the room to find Noah on the far side looking at me with sympathy in his eyes. that didn't give me much comfort.

"They found your Instagram," he sighed, "took them long enough," Noah said making his way across the room. "They know your Nicks sister, and my girlfriend. Some pictures of us from last nights show ended up online." Noah took a seat near me and pulled me into his lap, wrapping one arm around me to keep me stable. "Alex" I turned to look back at Noah. I already knew the question he was going to ask.

"I'm just a little overwhelmed" I sighed. "Can we go somewhere and get some air?" I asked in almost a whisper. With a nod Noah stood the both of us up and headed for the door while holding my hand.

After a brisk walk down the city streets of New York, Noah decided to turn into a local coffee shop. I went on to the back of the restaurant while he ordered. I trusted him to order for me, not because he knows one old reliable order, but because he knows what kind of coffee I will drink and so far has never ordered me anything I haven't liked. I picked at the polish on my nails while I waited for his arrival. We didn't speak much on the walk here, he knew not to push conversation and I had a hard time thinking anyway with how hard I had to work to keep up with his long legs. Noah slid into the booth across from me causing me to look up as he sat my cup near me. "What's this?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, It was on the specials board, it has caramel in it." good enough, I nodded. "Want to talk about how you're feeling right now?"

"I don't really feel any way right now, other than worried, but I don't even know what I should be worried about." I explained as my eyes landed on the table between us.

"There's nothing to be worried about, it's just opinions, and I don't want you giving a shit about anyone's." he stated.

"I haven't even looked at any of my social-" I started to reach for my phone but Noah stopped me, putting his hand over mine.

"I don't want you looking at any of that" he said in an almost stern tone. "It doesn't do any good" his fingers moved to incircle my hand. "I want you to focus on us, not anyone else, okay?" his brown eyes stared into mine mentally pinning me in place. "I don't want us to repeat what we just got past" he spoke quieter now as he let go of my hand and sat back in his seat.

The walk back to the venue was taken slower than the walk away. We held hands this time and Noah was conscious of my short legs. Small loose gravel crunched under our feet as we made our way across the parking lot to the bus. Climbing the stairs to see the bus empty Noah went straight to the back, I could tell by his silence on the way back something was bothering him. He never keeps things from me, so I let him hold onto his thoughts for now. I stayed up front while I heard him rummaging around in the bunk hall then the back lounge, it quieted for a moment before he called out to me. "Alex, come here." Unsure of what I was walking into I slowly reached the back of the bus. Opening the door to the back lounge I saw that Noah had bedding from both our bunks and made a set up in the back lounge. "Get in here, it's alone time." He said causing a smile to spread on my face.

Our alone time consisted of the two of us laying on a makeshift pallet in the floor of the back lounge while a movie played, we spent more time kissing than anything. Our time was cut when Noah was pulled for soundcheck right as the movie was coming to an end. I stayed on the bus and put our bunks back together and to ready myself for the evening ahead.

I'm still unsure of how I feel after today's events. All this time I've never encountered any of the fans, I don't know how to deal with them regularly, much less knowing every one of them has their own opinion of me. All I could do for now is proceed as usual. Proceed as usual with an added bubble of anxiety floating around me like a sick balloon.

Later as the show got started my anxiety settled as the energy of the crowd rose to meet Noah's. Starting in the barricade isle as per usual, I stayed there for the first four songs before I started to make my escape. As it has been in the past the crowd reaches out to Noah as he nears them more and more, as show after show has passed, he's practically started climbing into the crowd. The sight scared me slightly, but I trust security. Ducking and squeezing my way through the squished isle I felt hands swipe across my arms and torso, amongst the roar of the crowd my anxiety had me convinced I had heard my name for a minute as I made my way backstage, quickly shaking it off, I got back to work from side stage for the rest of the show.

When the show ended, I stopped Nick before he got to the green room to let him know I'd be on the bus. Exiting the building the freezing winter air hit my face stunning me for half a second before I started walking at a brisk pace back to the bus half way across the parking lot.

Climbing onto the bus the warm air hit me, letting me breathe out deeply. I quickly made my way to the bunk hall to undress and redress in much warmer clothes. Settling on leggings and one of Noah's pullovers I got settled at the table in the front of the bus to go through the evening's photos. After about twenty or thirty minutes, the boys came barreling into the bus, loud and rambunctious as if they just came off stage. "Hey, babe" Noah stopped before he passed me to press a kiss to my forehead. "How'd it look tonight?"

"It was great" I looked up to see his brown eyes under dripping wet hair. He smiled before proceeding further into the bus.

"Saw some of them get a little handsy, you alright?" Nicholas asked quietly as he lingered up front with me.

"Uh, yeah, I think I got scratched actually" I told the truth as I looked down to my clothed arm. I looked up to see Nicholas's reaction, but he held a poker face as usual.

"Try to be more careful, if something happens, it won't be pretty" he said quietly as he slowly crossed the room before disappearing into the bunk hall. he words left me uneasy at the thought of what Noah might do if anything were to happen. Surely it can't be as serious as Nicholas made it sound, these are their fans after all, how could you be mad at them?

When I finished sorting through the nights photos Noah pulled me to the bunks for bedtime, pulling me into his bunk with ease he placed me between him and the wall. A feeling of complete comfort and safety washed over me as I admired the man in front of me. Before we were fully settled Noah spoke in a stern tone that caught me off guard. "I don't want you to think I didn't see what happened tonight."

"It couldn't be stopped, I had to get through," I explained.

"That's not the point" he cut back at me.

"I'm sorry I-" he cut me off.

"Alex" he turned to lock eyes with me. "That's not the point. The fans shouldn't be touching my crew like that, ever." He sighed. "Much less my girlfriend."

"I'll be more careful next time."

"No, go through, like normal, you have a job to do just like everyone else."

"I'm sorry all this happened an-" I started before he cut me off again.

"No more apologies, you've hit your limit for the day," he said as he moved his hand to brush hair back from my face. "Go to sleep" he said before pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Goodnight" I squeaked out.

"Goodnight princess" he said with a tired sigh.

Waking up the next morning to an empty bunk I slide out to find to the bus still and empty. As I gathered myself, I heard the door open, up front. "Great, I thought I was all alone." I called out.

"It's me, we were all getting checked in, it's another hotel night so pack a bag," Noah called out as his footsteps approached me. In the darkness of the hallway a stupid smile spread on my face at the thought of the possibilities for our night off.

"That's great! This is so exciting" I squealed out as I pulled out a smaller bag to pack for the one night. Before Noah could say anything, his phone rang.

"Shit, I got to take this, I'll be right back" he said before his footsteps led him off the bus. It was only a moment later before I heard the door open again, that was quick for a call that was private enough for him to leave the bus for.

"That was quick," I said as I stood up and stepped into the front of the bus. My breathe caught in my throat as my eyes landed on who stepped onto the bus. "You need to leave" I breathed out as I suddenly became self-conscious of the fact that I was standing there in nothing but Noah's t-shirt. The small girl in front of me looked just as stunned as I was, we were both deer in each other's headlights. She didn't react to my words, so I took a step closer to her. "Sweetie, you can't be here, I need you to leave," I said as gently as possible.

Finally, the girl breathed out before she spoke, "I'm so sorry," she looked to be in tears.

"It's, okay," I closed the gap between us, "We just scared each other" I explained before boldly pulling her into a hug.  Was that the safe thing to do? No, it wasn't, but it was either hugging her or falling to the floor in fear like a opossum. "Sweetie, I need you to leave now," I said again as I pulled back from the hug. She only nodded her head and uttered a simple "okay" before scurrying off the bus. When the door shut, I immediately locked it and went to the couch, where I sat forward head hung willing myself to not throw up.

I sat there for I don't know how long before the banging on the door started. Fucking great, now I have to tell him what happened.

"Alex!" Noah's voice could be heard throughout the bus.