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15:27, 6 January 2022

[EDITED]

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"You're kidding right?"

He doesn't want to believe her. He can't...he don't want to.

"Eichi please. You're kidding right? Tell me please..."Baji kneeled and held her face. But she remained silent and emotionless.

He didn't expect this from her. He can feel how hurt he is right now. His eyes are burning, tears wanted to fall but he hold them back. He didn't want to cry in front of her. He didn't want to until she say the truth...that she's just kidding and fooling around.

"If that's a joke please... Please, Eichi stop it. It's not funny, okay?" Baji once said but still no word from her.

"Is there a problem? If there is we can talk about it, right? We can calmly talk and discuss about it. W-we will fix it alright?" now he wonders what their problem is.

Is it what happened in Valhalla? Is it because he tried to leave her? Or is it because he lied?

Did she finally learnt the truth? But from whom? There's no one popping on his mind who could possibly tell her. Saito wouldn't have told her right?

"Just please... Don't break up with me. I-I can't do that... I don't want to lose you. Not now... Not in other days or years. Not forever.... I know you know that Eichi." or not... I guess.

"I'll.... I will end my life if you broke up with me." Baji suddenly threatened. He's getting sick of how hurt he is right now. He couldn't take it... How much more if Eichi really wanted to break their ties?

"Don't you dare say that, Baji. You're not gonna end your life just because of a mere girl like me."

"Then what do you want me to do, huh? Do you want me to... to agree with you?"

"Yes. It will fix everything—"

"It's not! Eichi please!" he could not stop himself from raising his voice. "There's so many ways to fix our problem... Breaking up will justify that we didn't fixed it at all. W-we could try. I swear it'll gonna work... I promise you."

He looked so desperate but that's what he wanted. He wanted to live his life with her... He already planned that future with her while he's in juvie. Its a shame if that's not gonna happen.

And after all... He really love her. To the fullest. He can't see himself loving another girl except her.

"Please Eichi. Breaking up is not gonna fix everything believe me." he said but she didn't answered, slowly destroying his sanity. He couldn't take this but as much as he can, he's still holding to his consciousness before darkness take over." Senpai please... Say something. I'm hurting... "

"And me?" she finally let a word. She detached his hands from her face. "And Me? What do you think? That I'm not hurting after all you have been through?"

"What? Do you think I'm too heartless to not feel your pain?"

He got confused. "What are you saying? Are you saying that it's my fault?"

"Isn't it?" her tone suddenly changed.

"I already know about Toman. Their wrong doings and such that's not a good influence for you." alright, someone really told her everything.

" And I asked Mikey to kick you out of Toman." Baji's tears stopped the moment she said that.

" You what?"

"I asked him that because I'm worried about you. But he said he can't do that as the decision is on you. I know it hurts leaving your friends but please.... Look over yourself this time. Being a delinquent is not good for you."

"Leave Toman for me. Then we'll study together for our future. You want that right?"

"But I can't leave them." he sadly said.

"yes you can. You should." she held his left cheek but he push it away. Why can't he see that Toman is not doing him any good?

"No, Eichi. You don't understand everything. They're not just friends to me they are my brothers and I would not leave Toman no matter what happened. So please.... Please don't tell me to leave them..." he doesn't know what to do anymore.

If he leave Toman he will lose them but not her yet if he didn't he will lose her.

"Then lets end this." Eichi slightly pushed him away. "If you're not gonna do that then it's better for us to end." For Eichi, what she's saying is the opposite of what she wanted.

"If we break up, all these pain will be gone. I will not give you any damn care and I'll pretend that nothing ever happened to us. All those memories will be labelled as an illusion."

"No please, you can't do that..."

"Baji your pain is my pain. But sadly, it's too much for me to bear, that's why I'm asking you. Do you understand me? I'm not strong enough to face your pain unlike you" she understand how it hurts him to leave his friends, she can feel that. But she's fucking worried that him leaving the group is all she could think of to keep himself and her safe.

Toman just brought him too much stress that it causes him to destroy his emotion. That is why I'm doing my best to help him...I hope he understands that.

"If you love me and yourself, you will leave them."

"You know I love you, Eichi and there's no moment I told you I don't so please stop telling me what to do..."

"I just wanted to help." she sobbed, "I don't want to see you suffering because it hurts me."

"Eichi, you don't have to carry it alone especially if it is not yours. Okay? You don't have to break up with me just because you can't stand my suffering, my problem is mine alone. You don't have to feel it also—"

"But I already did!" he was stunned for a moment she suddenly shouted. He saw how her tears started to fall until she finally gave in to her emotion.

"What kind of girlfriend am I if I don't feel any pain on my boyfriend's suffering, huh? Tell me. What kind of girlfriend am I?"

He didn't talk. He was speechless... Doesn't know what to say.

"Isn't it too much that I feel the pain because of sympathy?"

"Eichi,I don't need your sympathy.. Please stop—"

"You don't? Then what's my purpose?! Am I just an ordinary girl to you? A pass time? An entertainer? What am I Baji? Fucking tell me please!" she cried and cried in front of him. Too much sobbing like the air is snatched from her.

Baji couldn't take it anymore. He doesn't want to see Eichi crying yet he couldn't comfort her now. If they're both crying right now, nothing will happen. They're not gonna make it clear to each other. He doesn't want to feel this but it feels like.... They need a break...

Instead of answering, Baji sighed.

"Let's have a cool off for now. Okay? Let's take a break but were not gonna end, you get me?" He held her hand, she's still crying.

"We need to figure things out on our own...for what I see, we can't fix anything for now. And I think we should take a break to clear up things on our own."

"For a while, maybe a week or two.... If you don't want, we could make it a month. But please Eichi, it's just a cool off okay? We're not gonna end."

Eichi nodded. Slightly disappointed as she thought Baji is avoiding the conflict but in reality, he just wanted to let themselves have a space to think. Everything is ruined for themselves so they need to fix it on their own. And in order to fix it, they need their own time.

"Here," Baji held out his pinky finger. Using his other hand, he wipe her tears. For a second, Eichi felt how sincere Baji is. "Eichi, promise me after a month were still together... Promise me, please... I don't want to lose you, please."

Baji begged. He couldn't count how many 'please' has he already said but who cares?

He lowered down his head to her lap and started sobbing. He's hurt. Really hurt. No one has ever hurts him like this before, no one ever made him cry this hard before and sadly for the first time, it was the girl he truly love. I expected a conflict but not this kind. It feels really sucks like I wanted to take my heart out to ease the pain...

"Promise me... Please" he begged again.

Eichi nodded though Baji couldn't see her. She intertwined her pinky to him and kissed his head.

"I promise." after she said that she felt his lips to hers

"And you're not just an ordinary girl to me, not an entertainer and not a past time. You are my life, Eichi. Remember that... " and within a minute after he said that, Baji already left.

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A/n: This is supposed to be posted by Thursday... But never mind that. Fck the schedule hahaha.

I just noticed that we already hit 5k O.O.... Thank you so much guys! I'm gonna cry now 😭 And I'm sorry from chapter 24 if you ever felt sad after reading that or left by a cliff hanger:>

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