Chapter 67

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with so much emotion that you just decide to numb everything and just float. I wasn't aware of anything when I walked out of the house, what time, when, where I was going. I can't remember anything. But I remember getting in my car, when I wasn't allowed to. I remember wiping myeyes because tears were getting in the way and I couldn't see the road. I remember my phone flashing on the passenger seat but I couldn't hear it. It wasn't on silent mode. All I could hear was a loud ringing in my ears and music, loud music but the radio wasn't turned on either and it was strange but I didn't even noticed it.

I don't know what's happening or where I'm going but I'm driving, but I don't know how fast I'm going. I can't read the meter because the tears kept getting in the way so eventually, I just stopped trying.

I don't feel anything but I can't stop thinking about that flashback, that night she called me. It was the same day he hurt her and its because of me. I can't stop thinking about the time I hit Robbie and the time I hit him again for the second time. I also can't stop thinking about the broken glass on the sink and the bottle in my hand and the time I hit Trent. Am I missing something else. Have I ever hit her? I'd never do that. She said I never laid a finger on her. That's what I heard, right?

The air is hot outside and I'm driving through the dessert going to the freeway and I don't know where I am exactly but there are no cars following me and few cars passing by on the other side. Then something flashes in front of my eyes.

What did you do to my sister.

Trent's eyes were as dark as a black hole sucking everything in me. He didn't even talked to me about it and just burst out in flames and decided to closely beat me to it. How did they all even got there. It doesn't matter now does it. They all hate me. They blame me for this thing I don't remember doing or didn't even do. I wasn't the one who hurt her and they didn't gave me a chance to prove that and that makes me so angry. I should prove myself right, I can still do it. I just need to find him. He's going to tell him what he's done. I need to see him. I need to see the man who strangled his fiancé because of a picture. I need to see Robbie

Lizzie's P.O.V."God damn it, answer the fucking phone Shannon!" My heart is beating out of my chest so bad I think it wants to jump off. She ran off minutes after I left her in the kitchen. I'm scared, terrified. We've been driving around for hours and we couldn't find her. What terrifies me the most is what Trent told me.

She's out of it. She just stared at me for the longest time before she got in her car and drove off. She wasn't there.

We went after her in a span of minutes but we didn't get to reach her or even had a trail of where she went and I'm dying in worry. I can't lose her again.

"Let me try calling Zoe" I hear Jake says.

I kept calling her and every single one of them just went to voice mail. I was getting mad not only at Shannon for choosing this time to not answer her fucking phone but to this fucked up situation we're in. I was afraid this will eventually rise up to the surface and someday my family would have to find out about it. But not like this.

"She's not there. but Zoe promised she'd call if ever she comes by." Jake says.

"Liz? Anything?" I ignored him. I ignored everyone, I kept calling and calling until I realized I was even catching my own breath. Ashley pulled me in and slip pills into my mouth before stroking my arms trying to calm me down. It wasn't until we reached the freeway that I figure the pills were not working anymore and my thoughts were spinning al together in my head getting tangled up with each other.

She has her car and she's out of it. She's not supposed to be even driving at all. She just got off from the hospital because of a headache. I don't want to think about it but I can't help thinking the worst. What if she had a flashback in the middle of the road and hit something again or got into an accident again and I wouldn't know. What if she's driving way too fast and a car got way out of control and hit hers.

"Lizzie you need to calm down. its gonna be okay—"

"No its not. Shannon's missing okay. Do you not get that, you all pushed her to edge again. I don't know where she is or if she's even fucking alive at the moment. You seriously think she'd hurt me, of all the people. You should be ashamed of yourselves. " I say, I was getting pissed. I've had enough of this shit.

"Her flashbacks were all about them Lizzie, how do expect us to react and every time I would ask her about it she would freeze and have another one and kept saying she wasn't going to hurt you. How do you expect us to take that."

"Because she didn't okay!" I said louder this time. "It wasn't her place to tell you about it that's why she didn't talk about it. But if you're so interested on that then I might as well spill the beans and tell you that yes, someone hurt me and its Robbie and she saved me from that—"

"What!"

"You happy now. you got what you want, and the only person you've accused of hurting me but actually saved me from all of that is now missing and God knows where she is right now." I raised my phone to my ear and wait for her to answer again, ignoring the fucking tension I've just created but it just went to voice mail again and I'm starting to feel anxious about everything.

I can't stop thinking about it. Thinking about her. Only her. Maybe its the way my brain knows how to keep me on track. She keeps flashing in my head. That charming smile, those strong blue eyes, her gentle touch and the way she always tells me its okay and it will pass and its going to be fine. God where is she. I can't lose her again, not this time.

The moment I hang up my phone rings in my hand and its just a number. I don't usually answer an unknown caller unless you text me who you are but at this time I'm so desperate to think that maybe this is her. Maybe this is Shannon so I did answer.

'Hello, Shan?'

'Uh- No, its Robbie.' I froze. I swore I change my number. What does he want? I can feel all ears were on me and If they figured out that I'm talking to Robbie. Trent will have an outburst, I guarantee that, because the way he's driving right now, he's really pissed off.

'Yea?'

'I'm sorry to call you but Shannon was here. She just left actually.'

'What?' The blood starts pumping in my chest again as I say that. She went to Robbie, but why does he sounds so calm and confuse and its strange how there's no tension in his voice or anything. 'Did she tell you where she was going, what is she doing there, what happened? Did you two had a fight?'

'No, no hey calm down. Is there something going on?'

'Robbie can you just answer—just tell me where she is.' I hear Trent mutter something in his seat but I didn't even bother trying to figure what he was saying. This is more important than anything or anyone else at the moment.

'I don't know, after we talked she just left. She didn't mention where she was going. She's a bit lost, I think. Katelyn was the one who answered the door. When she called me and I saw her she just stared at me for the longest time. I really thought she was going to hit me or something again but she just introduced herself and asked for a tour of the house. It was strangest thing.' My heart starts pounding still carrying the heavy weight in my chest.

'She doesn't know you Robbie.' I whispered.

'What?'

'She was in a car accident, two years ago. She doesn't remember anything after that, she doesn't know who you are but she keeps having these flashbacks of you this past few days and—'

'Is that why she confronted me of hurting you.' I couldn't speak. I was in shock, Shannon isn't the type of person who would confront someone unless its the other way around and hearing that just scares me even more.

'I'm sorry Lizzie, I know we've talked and settled things but I really regret everything that had happened two years ago. I was really messed up with the alcohol and all of that shit. But Shannon's right you know. It wasn't an excuse and I was really a dick. I really am sorry. I know I can't take it all back but, I'm sorry.' I tried to take it in, we talked yes, two years ago, but never did I hear a sincere apology from him. And knowing Shannon's behind all of this just makes my love for her even grew bigger than it is, if that's even possible and how I crave for her right now.

'That's okay now, it was years ago. We're both happy in our own lives. You with Katelyn. Me with Shannon. If I could just find her'

'She might've mention something. She says she wants to think, that's all she said when she left. I'm really sorry that's all I have—'

'The sea' I whispered. I'm sure of it, that's where she goes when she needs to clear her mind. We hang up the call as soon as I thanked him for telling me that. This was the only time I noticed eyes with fury staring at me and Trent driving down to the direction of my old house where Robbie is currently living.

"Why in the hell are you still talking to that bastard." Trent said furiously glancing at me through the rear view mirror. I don't have time for this I need to go to the beach.

"That was years ago Trent. He changed, Shannon was there. They talked. She's at the beach." Trent sighs. "If you don't turn this van around, I swear—"

"Alright!" I let out a breath of relief and stared out of the window hoping and praying that she's where I think she is and that she's safe. I just want her back in my arms again, because I wouldn't know where in the hell will I find her if she's not there.—————"She's not here, we looked everywhere." Courtney says breathless as we gather back to the van. Its already sunset,  Five hours and forty seven minutes since that call from Robbie. We've circled all the beach here in LA and she's not in any one of them. I'm so scared right now I'm minutes away from having a mental breakdown. I've been calling her non stop she's not answering. I glanced at Jake as he hangs up the phone call with Zoë and raised my brows, he just shakes his head . I bit my lip preventing it from trembling, my hands are shaking as I dial her number again but then again nothing.

I dialed again walking away from them but this time, its her mom I'm calling. She needs to know, but I'm terrified of how she'll take it. They need to know.

'Hello? Lizzie?' As soon as I heard her sweet voice, my eyes fills up with tears. I couldn't seem to speak and I miss Shannon so bad and I couldn't find her. How can I tell her that.

'Lizzie? Is everything alright?'

'D-Did, D-do you know where Shannon is? H-has she called you or anything.' My voice cracked.

'What do you mean?' I close my eyes at the tone of her voice and look around desperately hoping to somehow catch a glimpse of something. Her shirt, her hair, those beat up converse she always wears, but all I can see are people in bathing suits walking near the shore, some are watching the sun set. 'Lizzie, what do you mean honey?'

'I-I can't find her.' And with that I burst out in tears. 'I-I've looked everywhere and s-she's not answering her phone. I'm sorry.'

'Hey-hey, I need you to calm down sweetheart. We'll try to call her okay? Did you two had a fight or something what happened?'

'She- uhm. She was having flashbacks and my brother they had a misunderstanding and she left. I-I don't know where she is. I can't find her. I've looked everywhere. I'm so scared right now.'

'Okay okay, calm down. Are you alone? Is someone there with you? Where are you?'

'Yea, I'm with my brothers and sisters we're at the beach. I can't find her here. Zoë doesn't know either. I don't know what else to do. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I should have known—'

'Its not your fault sweetheart, we'll call her and let you know okay. Its alright. We'll find her. Jim's here we'll call her okay. I'll let Casey know as well. I'll call you back later.'

'I'm really sorry Deb.'

'Don't apologize its not your fault. She'll come back eventually. I promise.' We hung up the phone but I'm still looking around wiping my tears. I can't break down right now. I need to find her. I can't stop.

"Liz—"

"There's one last beach nearby, maybe she's there. Let's go." I say wiping my tears furiously. I can't stop, I just can't.

The ride to the beach was silent. Jake and Court are busy calling Shannon's friends since Jake knew most of them and have gotten closer. Mary Kate and Ashley are in talks with our security. Trent is the one driving the van and I'm still calling Shannon's phone non stop. I've left too many messages that I lost count by the time we arrived on the second beach and we've gone to six by now. I know its probably non practical to look for her at the beach because then maybe she went somewhere else. But its an instinct for Shannon to go to the sea when she needs some peace. It calms her down, it brings her back. Maybe I'm wrong but I need to take all chances. I need to find her, I just need her back to me, that's all I want.

I scroll through my contacts hoping to find someone who might actually know where she is and then I see it.

Scarlett

It only rang twice before I hear the sound of her voice at the other end and the screaming giggles of Rose.

' Hi Lizzie'

'I'm sorry to bother you.' My voice came out shaky. I couldn't help it anymore, it comes out as that. 'Have you heard from Shannon lately, I-I mean did she called you?'

'Uhm, no. I haven't heard from her— Wait what's happening? Why are you asking me this?' I bit my lip in disappointment again. A much painful weight goes on to my chest adding up to what's already there.

'Something happened and I can't find her.—'

'What!'

'Can you— If you hear from her, if she calls you can you please let me know. Please Scarlett.' I stare outside the window scanning my eyes through the streets. Its getting darker minute by minute and its getting harder to look for her but that doesn't stop me. I can't stop.

'Of course, Oh my God. Are you okay? I mean are you safe?' Safe, I only feel safe when I'm with her and now that she's not here, I feel completely alone and now I wonder how she must feel alone right now, is she safe? Is she even— alive.

'It doesn't matter, Just please call me when you hear from her.' She agrees and the phone call ends leaving me with nothing but false hope. Where is she?

Author's P.O.V.The sun has completely set by the time they got to their destination. The beach is empty, almost. People are starting to leave the premises and the waves are getting stronger as night falls in. It was harder to find someone in this hour and they all knew that but Elizabeth is not stopping there. She continues to walk through the beach looking around and calling out for Shannon's name. It was catching some attention but with the unlit beach, People didn't seem to notice who they were and just continue with their business.

"Liz, she's not here." Ashley calls but Elizabeth didn't even acknowledged that and just continue her pace. Ashley glances at her twin who just shakes her head and sighs out a shaky breath. Trent was keeping his pace too looking around in hopes he catches something, hope maybe. But deep down they know they wouldn't find her here.

"God damn it Shannon." Ashley mutters under her breath. It may sound frustrating but the truth is they are as scared as Elizabeth at the moment. Knowing Shannon, she couldn't bare knowing Elizabeth is worrying about her so this is something that terrifies them. They don't know what to think, even though the thought has been lingering around them since this afternoon and the worst comes to mind as moments pass by.

"Hey, what if Shannon's already home by now." Courtney says catching up with her sisters, Jake following behind her.

"She's not listening Court, I've talked to Jake earlier Ricky and Steve are at the house and they will call us when she arrives."

"If she arrives." Mary Kate mutters. She doesn't want to think about it but having the knowledge of Shannon not being in the right state of mind to even drive, the possibility is there and its scaring the hell out of her.

"She will MK, please stop thinking that. Maybe she just needs some space. Its not her to ignore calls from anyone more if it came from Lizzie."

"That's the point, its not her. Its never her, I don't want to think about it but we can't just ignore it. She must be in danger somewhere and we're here at the beach." She sighs." Maybe we need to split up, help Jake and the rest of our security team. I think they've talked to the police already."

"I'll talk to her." Jake suddenly says catching everyone's attention. He shrugs and shakes his head before walking towards Lizzie who still keeps on calling Shannon.

"Sis" Lizzie looks up with trembling lips. "I think we should split up, we're not going to find her here— Hey hey." Elizabeth bursts out in tears which made Jake pull her into a tight embrace. Feeling a tight sensation in his chest with every sob her sister releases and somehow curse Shannon for doing this to her. But who can he blame, it was a heat of the moment thing if he was in Trent's position he might've done the same but maybe it wasn't the best idea to do. Its just that messed up.

"Where is she?" Elizabeth cries in his chest. "She's not answering the god damn phone! Oh God, I don't know what to do. I don't know—Oh Fuck!"

"We'll split up we're going to find her its easier that way. Hey sis, please calm down." Elizabeth's state was very concerning already and its been her fifth time to have a panic attack right now. Her breath starts to hitch and and her legs starts giving up on her that Jake had to put more effort in carrying her while he yells,

"Guys! I need help here." Trent rushes to her sister and immediately lifts her up and carry her to the van. The guilt that's been eating Trent this whole time is growing stronger minute by minute. He blames himself, maybe he reacted that too much. He skipped to conclusion when all this time all Shannon did was protect her sister. Even though she can't remember her, that was her first priority.

He didn't know what had gotten into him but at the moment it was all too familiar. It took him back to that moment in her mom's house. He should've known, what to do. But the anger took over in an instant and it washed everything away, because not to being able to be there for your sisters for years and now that everything is fixed and you got back into their lives perfectly is something he's been holding on, so he has to protect them from everyone else.

Trent sits Elizabeth in the front seat to settle down before reaching across her taking the flask on his door compartment and opening it up to give to her. She shakes her head and didn't move curling up into the passenger seat. He sighs and closes it, its no use. She's stubborn as Shannon is, she just won't admit it.

"Its been a long day, you need to rest—"

"No! I will find her. This is all your fault—"

"I know" He sighs in defeat. "I will find her, I'll take you home. I'm sorry Liz but she's not here." Elizabeth didn't answer. She just held her phone so close to her chest as she lets her tears fall, dropping onto the leather material of the front passenger seat. Trent sighs heavily and gestured the others to get in the van before shutting the passenger door. His mind, on those blue ocean eyes, a growing storm setting waves crashing hard to the shore.

Where are you?