Chapter 65

So the twins insisted for me to be admitted in a private room to have some privacy of our own, even though I'm positive I won't be spending the night in this place. Well, being in a room full of patients is kind of violating their peace and privacy and that matters to them, big time. So, now I'm left alone with Mary Kate in a private room while we wait for the doctor to tell me what's going to happen, not to mention my girlfriend is still not here yet. Ashley just left a few minutes ago to answer a call from work while the three went out to get something to eat. If you ask me, I think they are just avoiding a confrontation with Elizabeth when she comes, which I can picture in my head not going well at the moment.

"How are you feeling?" Mary Kate asks sitting down on the side of the bed looking over me with an expression I couldn't read and she's been quiet since we got here.

"Headache's gone. I'm seriously fine, I just want to go home. I'm quite disappointed though, the day didn't go as we planned and that fucking sucks." She smiles sadly and nod her head. From the few months I've known Mary Kate, I can truly and a hundred percent say that something is on her mind because she's not like this. She's never quiet and soft and thoughtful. She's quiet, stern and serious, that's what she is but not the first one and that is exactly her right now.

"Something on your mind?" I asked squinting my eyes at her. She smiles and shakes her head.

"Nothing, maybe I'm just tired as well." She lies and I quirked an eyebrow not buying this and she knows it because she sighs and looks at me straight in the eyes and says. "I have something but I don't think— its nothing, just forget about it." She stands up from the bed and goes over to her bag on the couch maybe to get something or whatever it may distract her from us having this conversation that I suddenly felt intrigued about.

"Come on, what is it?" I insist and she sighs heavily and mutters something I didn't quite get.

"It doesn't matter, its nothing just forget I said something—"

"Wha—you can't just say there is something and not talk about it. Come on, maybe I can help or not, but either way, I can listen." She fumbles in her bag for something clearly ignoring what I just said.

"Mary Kate—"

"What you said? back at mom's house and at your house" I held in a breath as she snaps her head to me, my chest gets heavy. This is about what happened earlier. "I don't want to think too much about it because maybe I don't want to really think about it, but I really can't help it." She pauses and shifts her body to me. "Did something happen that hurt my sister, I mean physically hurt her?"

As if on cue, the door swings open revealing a breathless Elizabeth rushing towards me and before I knew it, I was in her arms, tightly around my neck and it gave me a slight relief come in because to be honest, I couldn't handle the tension of Mary Kate's eyes as she was asking the question. I felt her sucking the blood out of me just by the intensity of her stare and I can still feel that up until now.

"What happened? Are you okay?" She says in urgency pulling away and holding my face in her freezing hands. I looked up to her and see total fear in her eyes, her pupils dilated into its extent form making her eyes look darker than it used to be. No green meadows for today, I guess. I gave her a reassuring smile and a nod stroking her arm resting on my chest.

"What did the doctor say?" She turns to Mary Kate who glances at me before letting out a sigh, maybe she was annoyed that Elizabeth just ruined a fucking revelation that would probably end Robbie's life, or mine, did I hurt Elizabeth before, unknowingly? Well, I've punched her brother, I had a fucking fist fight with Robbie, at least that's what they're telling me, its not impossible if I somehow did. That part is still a question mark for me and it disgusts me just thinking about it.

"She said she needs an MRI just to see what's going on in her head. We're just waiting for the next step if she'll be going home today or not."

"I'm okay sweetheart, honest." I say making her turn to me. She looks at me with full worry still, and that look just tells me that she didn't believe what I just said.

"Doesn't seem like it, being sent to a hospital because of it is not a definition of okay honey." She sighs in frustration as she drops on the side of the bed. She then turns to Mary Kate and ask her instead of me.

"How bad was it?"Mary Kate glances at me again before looking at Lizzie and says

"Really bad. She was crying already and barely could speak." I sighed and just put my attention in our intertwined hands. Focusing on the fact that she's here and I feel so much better than earlier.

"What actually happened?" She turns to me with a look I can't stand and I don't exactly know what to say without spilling the actual truth how it all started. But for some reason my mind went back to the conversation she and Ashley had earlier so I say,

"They all came to the house and I wasn't feeling very good then. They brought in the outfits and I decided to make some drinks. I might have a glass or two—"

"Three" Mary Kate butts in and Elizabeth sighs. I rolled my eyes at her causing a smirk to appear on her face.

"Three, then I felt pain strikes to my head. I couldn't take Tylenol cause I just drank alcohol so Mary Kate got me your hearing pad and it works perfectly." I shrug hoping that would convince her but she has an expression that I couldn't read at the moment, so I add."This is all too much sweetheart, to be honest. The hospital was really unnecessary, I was feeling better by the time we got here."

She looked at me for the longest time then turns to Mary Kate without giving me some kind of assurance that she believes me. Just blank.

"Thank you for this, I'm really glad you were all there." She smiles. Perfect timing for the others to come in chatting with each other but turned silent when they noticed Elizabeth's presence. I think the boys stopped breathing for a second so I hand signaled a thumbs up for them and I swore I saw their shoulders relaxed.

"Oh good you're here." Ashley started, giving her sister a kiss followed by the others who greeted her and gave her a hug. Its nice seeing them all together actually, because the last time wasn't a very good moment to dwell on.

"So, we bumped into your doctor and she says that you 'might' actually spend the night so you can get an MRI first thing in the morning." I sighed and felt Elizabeth squeeze my hand. To be honest, this is all too much. That was one time, I've had it one time. "They're not sure yet. They have to talk to your doctor back in Dallas—"

"Wait wait, what? why?" Elizabeth exclaims. No one speaks. I bet if you can hear closely, all of our hearts are desperately wanting to just jump out of our bodies and ran far far away from here. So it seems no one's going to speak up, I gathered every courage in me and say.

"She asked if I hit my head or something and I told her about the accident. She saw the scar." She looked at me for the longest time, her hand getting colder in mine. I guess she's still not used to the truth coming out and I'm so proud of how she's trying hard not to get too affected by it, because she just breathes out a shaky breath.

"Are you having flashbacks again?" She asks and then I remembered them again. I glanced at Mary Kate who is really waiting for my answer this time. They know the truth, they've witnessed it and I guess I have to lie about them again. I look pass her for a second and saw their troubled faces.

"Shannon" I pulled my eyes back to Elizabeth who just raised her brows at me.

"Yea." I whispered and her face falls. "But its the same thing over and over again. Its about the accident." I felt the weight from their chests lifted and fall down all on me as soon as I say that. If I told her the truth then all of us will definitely be in trouble and I wouldn't want that. I just couldn't handle that.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Babe, we're busy in our own—"

"That's not an excuse and you know it." She snaps. I zipped it. A tension suddenly intensifies the air around us. It feels heavier minute by minute. "You should've told me still."

A knock on the door interrupted a growing argument and Lord knows how thankful I am for it. Dr. Charlie emerges from behind the door and seems to notice the tension too as she clears her throat.

"I'm sorry, did I walked in a wrong time?" She starts before looking at me. I put on a smile and shake my head hoping to ease it up a bit. She walks in further as Elizabeth stands up to greet her releasing my hand completely and letting it fall on the bed and for some reason that did something to my heart.

"Uhm, Shannon, I did get a hold of your doctor and she confirmed what happen to you and advised for you to get an MRI as soon as possible but with your situation right now, the possible time for that will be first thing tomorrow. I think you might be spending the night for this, its safer that way, incase of another headache."

"It was just a headache" I say as I grow more frustrated this time, they're making a big deal out of it. "I've had it one time, its not a big deal—"

"Shannon" Elizabeth warns but I ignored it and looked Dr. Charlie straight in the eyes.

"I can't stay here. I'm perfectly fine. I just want to go home. God, it was just a headache. I don't even know why I'm here.—"

"Hey! Can you settle down. Stop it." I sighed in frustration as I rub my temples. I can feel five pairs of eyes staring at me while Elizabeth takes over talking to Dr. Charlie again. God, I wish I have something to say on this, but then again I do not. I'm suppose to just go with it.

"I'm sorry about that, we'll stay. If that's the best option we have. Can I just talk to you outside for a while." I hear her say before voices fades and the sound of a door closed.

Silence.

"I'm tired of this." I whispered in defeat. I feel exhausted of having to be left out to make my own decisions for my own life.

It was just a fucking headache.

"Hey, the doctor was right maybe its safer if you'll stay here." I hear Mary Kate says and I don't believe her. I hate hospitals. I've spent more time than I could remember in a fucking hospital and its bringing even more memories back. The sound of the machines, the familiar white walls, the blunt curtains that makes the room even duller than it feels like, white, everything is fucking white.

"I don't like it here." I muttered. "I hate hospitals." A manly hand on top of my head and a kiss made me sigh and realized they're already in front of me, surrounding me on the bed with worried looks on their faces.

"Shan, we're just worried." Trent says. " Its going to be fine, I'm sure Lizzie will stay with you here."

"Yea, and when you're done with your MRI tomorrow, you'd be out here in no time." Ashley smiles. "and maybe we can sneak out a dinner so we can discuss you know." She holds up her hand pointing to her ring finger making me smile. Right, the proposal.

"There we go." I felt another kiss on top of my head again and this time its from Mary Kate. I hope she forgot what we were talking about just before Elizabeth came, I just don't know what to fucking say, I mean I don't know if its my place to say it.

"You're still going to make it out here alive you know." I rolled my eyes at her as they giggled.

"Thanks guys." I smiled. I am very grateful for these people. I really have a great support system whether its on my side of the family or her side. Either way, I'm really lucky to have them and sometimes, it so surreal just thinking about it.

"We always got you bud." Trent says and I sniggered.

"Yea, right. Says the one who's afraid to speak to Elizabeth on the phone." I say and they all laugh at the look on Trent's face.

"Wha— I am not afraid to talk to her. I'm her big brother, she should be afraid of me. Right?" He looks at the twins but they just rolled their eyes and shakes their head. The look of betrayal is very evident in his face now and just sighs.

"Well, in my defense. She is kinda scary when she's mad." I let out a soft chuckle shaking my head. "But seriously though, we're worried. You're family, even before all of this happened. So you need to be healthy and take care of yourself you little shit so we won't be having trips on the hospital again." He adds seriously this time and I immediately felt an overwhelming sense of comfort and its making me feel better actually.

"I know, love you guys." They smiled

"We love you" ———————-"So that was Marla, and obviously someone snapped a photo of you coming in earlier and now there's a story." Elizabeth says as soon as she walks in the door holding her phone tight in her hand. I figured this would be coming, because I saw the man who took it.

"What did it say?"

"Shannon Beveridge rushed to hospital, Olsens spotted at the scene and it goes on with me following through. They figured a neck injury cause you were holding a heating pad on the back of your head near your neck." She shakes her head and walks over to me sitting on the chair beside the bed and sighs. "Have you talked to your mom?"

"Yea, she wants to fly here  but I told her that I'm fine and that there's no need to make a big deal out of this." She sighs again but this time heavier and I think I've hit a string because then she gives me this kind of look that goes through your soul. I look away. I can't stand it.

"Hey come on." She whispers, her hand slipping intomine before placing a soft kiss on it and now, my heart is softening as I look back at her. "You scared the shit out of me earlier." She whispers her eyes filling up with tears

"I know, I'm sorry." She smiles a little and placed a kiss on my hand before laying her head on my chest and I smiled. All of my frustrations flushing away in an instant. I hate hospitals yes, because it reminds me of the time when I woke up in it and couldn't remember anything that had happened, but she's here. She's with me, and that's all that matters right?

"Please don't do that again." She whispers and I let out a soft chuckle moving fallen strands of her hair away from her face tucking it behind her ear and revealing that beautiful face of hers.

"Alright then." I whispered back and she frowns raising head a bit.

"You have to promise." She demands this time her lips trembling and that's when I realized, I've really scared her. So I nod before leaning forward and sealing that with a kiss.

"I'm okay sweetheart, I promise." I say and she just looks at me in the eyes giving me a chance to look in hers and all I can think about is how can I live without seeing these eyes all the time. Its true what they say that her eyes areso expressive that she can act with it all alone. I'm a witnessed to that and I'm still mesmerized by it every single time. "Come here."

I moved to my side to give her some room on the bed and without any hesitation she climbs in cuddling into me as I wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer to me and how good is this making me feel. Feels like a warm cup of tea in a rainy morning. She's my home. I close my eyes and feel our heat beat sync in with each other, like music in my ears

"I'm sorry" I hear her whisper after a while. "I wasn't—I wish I was there."

"Hey, you're here now, that's all that matters." I whispered placing a reassuring kiss on her forehead before she buries her face even further on my chest. "Baby, it just looks worse than it is but I'm completely fine. I can jump up and down and do a cartwheel for you if you insist, but I really prefer being in this position right now so maybe in a little while."

"Mmm, me too." She giggles making my smile grow wider. I miss her. "I'm quite surprised all of my brothers and sisters are here to be honest, that is a very rare thing to happen."

"Well, they all came to the house to hang out or something. The twins brought in our outfits, I haven't seen them though." I say and she goes quiet. So I pulled back a little and look down on her. She's staring at nothing as she fidgets with the fabric of my shirt.

"You okay?" She doesn't speak for a while but then looks up to me and says,

"You said you were having flashbacks again."

"Yea?"

"What were they about?" She whispers and there's something in her eyes that I see most of the time when she asks me these kind of questions. fear and desperation. So I find myself telling her about them, about the accident, pictures of blood randomly flashing in front of my eyes, flashes of light and the ringing noise in my ear. Other days I would have flashes of scenes of us in a house, if I'm not mistaken, the blue one near our house right now. Then I came to the ones I had earlier but then I realized, I had to tell her the fact that I went to her mom's house. So I pulled my words in before they could even get out of my mouth. "I'm sorry, I know I should've told you this sooner but I sometimes forget that I have to."

"Baby, you think maybe we could at least, talk to Joan about this. Maybe she could help."

"Yea, I'll call her tomorrow sweetheart. Don't stress too much about it." I sigh and placed a soft kiss on top of her head pulling her closer to me. I didn't told her about my flashbacks about Robbie and the party. I can't seem to bring it up, maybe because I'm scared. I'm scared to know that maybe in some time earlier, these flashbacks of mine maybe its not Robbie who hit her in the first place. Maybe it was me.

I shut my eyes and held her tighter in my arms this time, feeling her relaxed in my touch. That's enough for now. I need to get these thoughts off my fucking head.