Chapter 35

Shannon's P.O.V.Two weeks had gone by with the series of emails and calls we've been receiving since that interview with James Corden had been released to the public. Apparently, we're still trending. My career was getting back on track as I was offered a show which is Elizabeth is starring in called Love & Death as a director of the series and that is a no brainer yes from me. We're both excited about it and that filming starts in September. Elizabeth will be doing some reshoots by first week of August for Doctor Strange and in two weeks we'll be flying to Italy because of an invitation she got from Filming Italy Festival.

I've talked to Gabriel about that trip and with so much effort of convincing him to let me go, he annoyingly said yes, which made me the happiest even under the circumstances that he's not whole heartedly agreeing with this idea. Well, its just a week and I would finish all my work before that. I have a shoot with the cast of Spider Man next week followed by the cast of Moon Knight when I come back from Italy.

Elizabeth starts seeing Joan, "our" psychiatrist, I went with her twice already and the first one was the first time Elizabeth told someone I have amnesia. Maybe because she is in fact our psychiatrist and that she trusts her fully. But that's about that. It never came up even on some of our interviews last week. But the good thing is, Elizabeth's panic attacks have been getting lesser by the day. She would still have them on some occasion like before an interview happens or if there are too much paparazzi surrounding us or if just something triggers it.

There was this one time she had it, I was driving to her house to spend the weekend because we had this arrangement that on weekdays, we spend the night on our own houses and on the weekends we spend the night together in her house, but that varies in some occasions. Anyway, so I was driving to her house and I got a call from her and I answered but I didn't noticed that my battery is running low so to cut that short my phone dies in a middle of a conversation and knowing Elizabeth, she would have this thoughts of the worst scenarios in her head so as fast and careful as I possibly can, I drive to her house in less than 5 minutes and rushed in to see her on her coat and keys in her hands already breathing heavily. The moment she saw me that's where she breaks down crying.

I might've had a day of apologizing for that incident to her. It scared the shit out of her and I swore on that day, I won't let my phone die again. That was it for me.

It's 8 pm on a Friday and I'm currently on a shoot right now directing and shooting a music video for Andrea Russet, who is a good friend of mine, for her new song Freezing. I've texted Elizabeth that I might be running late because I'm a one-band man tonight. Its only me, Alyssa and Andrea.

"So we're done in the streets next stop is in your apartment room and on the rooftop." I say as we walk to my car still with my camera on recording, maybe to have some extra footage for the video.

"Yea, and that's about it." She smiles. " I really appreciate this Shan. Thank you for doing this in such short notice."

"Don't mention it. This is what I do so its no big deal."

"You sure your girlfriend doesn't mind?" I let out a chuckle and nod.

"She knows, I texted her earlier. That's alright." I reassured her. One of the million reasons I love my girlfriend is that she just lets me work on my career freely and also helps me build it up. She's pretty democratic in some cases like schedules, work or just hanging out with friends as long as she knows who I am with and that I'm safe which is just a breather.

"Okay then. Oh dude?"

"What?" I asked as I unlocked my car.

"I'm sorry but your girlfriend is so hot." I chuckled at her teasing look. Alyssa joins in giggling as we entered my car.

"Well, she is isn't she?" I chuckled as I start the engine and started driving to Andrea's apartment.

"Uh yeaa" She says stating the obvious. "I'm actually having second thoughts on asking you to do this shoot since you're kind of big now and-"

"Hey, I am not."

"Yes you fucking are, don't you think I haven't seen a couple of cameras shot towards us earlier. That's also why I'm asking you if your girl knows about this." I sighed. Paparazzi, now I wonder what's the story this time around.

"She knows, relax. I might tell her about the paparazzi later on when I get home."  Home, I can't wait to go home to her tonight really. I miss her so much. We've been a bit busy this whole week, with shoots, interviews and everything else. She just got off a photoshoot earlier actually so I'm guessing she's probably at home already. "But, no I'm just plain ol' Shannon."

Bright light. Stop!

I stepped on the breaks causing us to jolt forward. A ringing silence in my ears followed by an angry horn pass us. I snap my eyes open as I can feel my heart hammering out of my chest, my hands and feet are icy cold and see an empty road. What the fuck was that?

"Woah, hey. What the hell!" Andrea gasp. I shake my head as I felt a hand on my shoulders causing my eyes to look at the rear view mirror and see Alyssa looking at me with worried eyes.

"Shan you alright?" I hear Andrea say and I subconsciously nod slowly coming to my senses. God, what the hell was that? I swore I saw bright light. Its coming to us. Fuck, my head hurts.

"Yea, sorry about that. I thought I saw a raccoon." I let out a heavy breath and continue to drive a little careful this time. "Everyone alright?" I say staring at the road my heart still beating loudly I can hear it in my ears. I hear a unison of yes before Alyssa says,

"I'm kind of hungry though, maybe we could stop by for McDonald's." I glanced at her through the rear view mirror and she's still looking at me with worried eyes but still manage to wink at me. I smiled at her and mouthed the words 'Thank you' for trying to change the subject.

We stopped by McDonald's to get some take outs and even then the thought of what happened earlier still lingers in the back of my mind. It was strangely familiar. It looked so real. I really thought there was something that's going to hit us. Maybe it was nothing, maybe I'm just tired that's all.

We finally arrive at Andrea's apartment which has a basement parking lot so its easier to just be invisible at the moment from the paparazzi. My phone suddenly rings as I take out my equipment from the trunk so I reached down to my jeans pocket and pull it out seeing Elizabeth calling so I answered right away.

'Hey sweetheart' I say propping up my good shoulder to hold my phone against my ear as I bring out my reflectors.

'Hi honey, just checking on you.' Her gentle and raspy voice soothing my ears an automatic smile appearing on my lips. 'I'm sorry, I just miss you that's all.'

'Yea' I breathe. 'I miss you too' I suddenly hear sniggers in front of me making me look up seeing the teasing looks  Alyssa and Andrea is giving me. I rolled my eyes and gestured them to go to the rooftop and leave me the fuck alone making them giggle teasing me before finally disappearing out of sight.

'Still working?' She asks and I can tell by her tone that she's tired. I closed the trunk and lean against it finally holding my phone against my ear.

'Yea, we just got here in Andrea's apartment. Oh by the way babe, Andrea said she saw some paparazzi earlier so we both know what that means.' I hear her sigh in frustration so I try to think of another subject for us totalk about and keep that thing out of her mind. 'How's your photoshoot?'

'It was good and fun, tiring though as usual.'

'Do you have shots, I can look at?'

'I think Marla has it, I would let her email it to me later on. Are you spending dinner here? Oh- don't answer that, I'll just whip up something when you get home.' I smile, now I know what she's doing. She wants me to just wrap this up as soon as I can because she'd be waiting for me and she's tired and fuck- Its really working now.

'Then I'll better get my ass moving so we can finish early right?' She giggles and I can picture her nodding her head and biting down her lower lip which is a usual thing she does.

'Yea you better and come home to me baby.' I let out a chuckle at her seductive raspy voice sending shivers down to my spine. I grab my equipment and start to make my way to the elevator.

'I'm on it baby.' I hear her laugh and it made my smile grew wider and my heart do somersaults in my chest as I pressed the button to the rooftop to set up. 'I'll call you later on when we're finished okay, get some rest first my love.'

'Alright then, I'll see you later okay.'

'Okay." I smile.

'Drive safe, I love you. Bye bye'

'I love you too, bye." I hang up a smile hanging on my lips.

Drive Safe

Stop. It was nothing. I finally arrive at the rooftop to see Andrea and Alyssa munching on a bag of french fries we got from McDonald's earlier. They smile teasingly as soon as they saw me making me roll my eyes.

"You're wife's waiting on ya?" Andrea says and somehow that made my heart skip a beat that I can't help the smile growing on my lips. That has a nice ring to it. I love it.

"Yep, so we better get some good shit done people." God, I can't wait to go home,———————-I had my eyes wide open on the drive home. After I dropped Alyssa to her apartment, I suddenly got this heart racing, sweaty palms , stomach churning feeling driving home alone, afraid I might get that thing that I saw earlier happen again. So the 10 minute drive to Elizabeth's house turned into a 20 minute drive. I had my meter going from 60 kilometers per hour to atleast 35 to 40 kilometers per hour and now my phone is blaring in my jeans pocket as I parked into one of the dim light parking shed where I usually park Chase. I think she made it clear that the spot belongs to her already.

By the time I got out of the car, I was sweating like crazy and breathing heavily. What the fuck is wrong with me. I let out a huge breath to try and catch my breathing as the cold breeze hit me, even cooler because of the sweat that is pouring out of my whole body.

My phone is still blaring in my pocket so I reached down to it as I make my way to the back of my car and open her up before glancing to the screen. Its Elizabeth, I swallowed before answering.

'What's wrong?' It was urgent and firm and somehow I got confused at her question. But then I realized, she might've saw me from the security cameras making me look up at one of them.

'Nothing, I'll be right there in a second.' I breathe, before she can even say anything. I ended the call and shake my head calming myself down. What the fuck is happening? I grab everything that my hands can grab and that includes my backpack that has my camera in it and the tripod. I left the reflectors because I couldn't hold everything all at once.

As I close the trunk, my mind goes to the thought on whether I should tell Elizabeth about this. Well, I have to right since I look like shit from all the sweating I just did and also how would I explain why I took so long to get here. Shit, I need to tell her. I can't lie, she knows me too much and as a matter of fact, I really suck at lying.

I winced as a sharp pain strikes the right side of my head where my tiny scar sits. I let out a breath and start to walk towards the small black gate. If I tell her, she wouldn't let me drive alone. I know her. Fuck, I just need to convince her that its fine right. Do I need to tell her about the bright light or just the nerves from driving home alone? Well, she's going to ask either way why?

I stomped up through the garden still deep in thought and before I could even reach the front door, it opens widely revealing her silhouette and in seconds revealed her worried face as she steps out, the warm light of the outdoor lamps illuminating her face. I force a smile wiping the sweat off my face with my shirt sleeve. I feel shit.

"Hi honey" She greets as soon as I was in reach her. She raised her arms to wrap around my neck but I take a step back making her frown and look at me with total confusion in her eyes.

"Baby I'm all sweaty."  I breathe. She eyes me up and down and raised her brows.

"What happened?" I let out a breath my mind still having a debate on what I will tell her and I open my mouth to say something, anything but nothing comes out. She sighs  and says, her expression changing. "Let's go inside."

I nod in response before we made our way in the house. I let out a sigh as I hear the front door close and locked while I place my back pack on the couch and the tripod beside it. I can feel the swirling tension of my girlfriend's curiosity on why do I look like someone who just ran 10 miles in a fucking city and before I can even stop myself and think this through I start to say,

"Yea, something happened." I start turning around to see her looking at me with furrowed brows with her arms crossed tightly against her chest tucking her night gown on each side as she slowly walked closer but enough distance to say this better be good or we're going to have a problem.

"You should clean up first honey, you look like you just got out of the gym or something" She still calls me honey so I think that's a good sign.

"Can I? I really am feeling a little unsanitary." She raised her brows and gives me a nod. I let out a smile and grab my backpack and the tripod and literally ran up to the master's and place my back pack on the couch with the tripod leaning against the armrest. I stepped into the shower after getting out of my sweaty clothes and the warm water feels so good against my skin. This gives me time to gather my thoughts and decided to just tell her everything.

I need to tell her. She needs to know.

It might scare her and that is 100% guaranteed but its best she knows. I just need to convince her that I would be extra careful when I'm driving this time around. Another rush of pain strikes my head again but it was a tolerable one, but still, it fucking hurts. I touched the tiny scar on my forehead and I try to remember anything from the accident but that's all there is a bright light.

After a while, I got out of the bathroom and change into one of my vintage t shirts and some boxer shorts feeling refreshed as ever. I did a little laundry of my sweaty clothes before going downstairs. The familiar smell of something heavenly hugs my nose leading me to the kitchen where my lady is. Now, I can finally hold her.

I sneak up behind her while she plates what I think is my pasta, I can tell just by the heavenly scent of it, and slide my arms around her waist and resting my head on her shoulder. She jerks a bit but relaxes in my arms, stops what she was doing before turning around her arms finally making it's way around my neck. She looks at me intently, reading me through my eyes. She always does this, so how can I not tell her what happened today.

To cut off the intense stare, I lean in to kiss her taking her soft delicate lips in mine. She kisses me back, another good sign, her hand slides down to the side of my face and I just melt. This feels so good, but then another flash of pain making me pull away and drop my head on her shoulder scrunching my eyes tight pulling her closer to me. It hurts.

"Shan, what's wrong?" I hear her say but its her voice seems so distant. Then suddenly bright headlights flash before my eyes, the same ones I've seen earlier along with a loud angry horn. I snap my eyes open my breathing gets heavier again. Fuck! Elizabeth pulls away completely looking at me with horror in her eyes.

What the fuck just happened?

"Hey, hey-"

"Something happened" I breathe. Her icy hands are already on both sides of my face. My heart is racing in my chest like a mob running around in chaos. It feels so real.

"Baby, I need you to calm down and tell me what's wrong." She forces me to look at her and her only. She strokes the back of my neck in a gentle manner as I get lost in her jade eyes.

Green eyes, bright as the meadow, outside on our spot, where we have picnics underneath the huge oak tree, birds chirping from across the calm blue sky.

Settle down. Breathe.

"Its alright honey. I'm here, please come back." I came into my senses back to where I was, all along. In the kitchen.

"Shannon" My eyes snap back to her and her eyes filled with fear in them.

"I'm here, yea." I breathe pulling her into my arms as she finally burst out in tears. God, what just happened. Was I out? "Its okay, I'm here. I'm here baby." I placed soft kisses on top of her head tucking her in my arms as I stroke her back then she pulls away wiping her eyes.

"Are you- are you okay? I couldn't find you and I was so scared." That's what I thought, I gently pull her back in again feeling so lost in all of this. Her sobs hurt my ears and it sends daggers to my heart. I held her tight whispering sweet nothings to her until she finally calms down.

"What is it?" She whispers against my chest. Her sniffs still audible but the good thing is she stopped crying and has calmed down. She slowly pulls back and looks up to me with eyes still wet with tears and I feel so bad but I don't know what happened either. I really need to tell her now.

"What happened?" She repeats as if I hadn't heard her clearly. I placed a soft kiss on her forehead and take her hand in mine guiding her towards the kitchen table sitting her down on the bench.

"Okay." I start as I sat down beside her. Her eyes never left me as she stares with so much eagerness to find out what it is. I sighed and say,

"Shan you're scaring the shit out of me, just spit it out." She says in frustration and so I did, the pain in my head not taking her tone right now.

"On the way to Andrea's apartment, we were just talking but then I swore I saw a bright blinding light coming towards us so I hit the breaks and a loud ringing in my ears followed by a loud angry horn." She gasps and her hands tighten around mine. "I thought I just missed and save it but when I opened my eyes there's an empty road in front of me. Not a single car on the road not even on the other side."

"I called you, why didn't you tell me?" She whispers her eyes wide with fear. Why didn't I? Maybe because I thought it was nothing and that I completely forgot about it until the last minute.

"I didn't want to worry you too much. Nothing happened sweetheart and I thought I was just tired from the shoot." She lets out a big breath and nods so I continue. "I thought it was gone and I was fine but when I dropped off Alyssa to her apartment, I felt strangely nervous my heart was pounding and my legs were shaking and I'm sweating like crazy that's why it took that long to get here. I slowed down my pace just to make sure nothing will happen.

She stands abruptly and start to pace back and fort in front of me mumbling things I couldn't quite get. This is it, I can feel it. I might never get to drive Chase again. Am I? God I hope not.

"Did this happen before?" She says with urgency and I shake my head causing the pain to wobble inside of my fucking skull. I winced again my hand flying to my forehead and immediately, I felt her freezing hand on my cheek.

"I'll get you some Tylenol." She mutters before disappearing from the kitchen. My eyes landed on the pasta sitting on the kitchen counter at the same time I hear my stomach grumble. Yes, food. I almost forgot.

I carefully stood up, not to trigger the pain in my head anymore and made my way towards it. I opened the drawer under the kitchen counter grabbing a fork before I dig in and fucking hell this is still good even though its cold already either way its still heavenly.

"He-" I turn around with a mouth full of pasta and saw Elizabeth holding her hand in a fist and I'm guessing that the medicines are there. I find a small hint of a smile on the corner of her lip as I continue to chew and swallow my food.

"I'm sorry, I really haven't had anything yet." She finally smiles getting a glass from one of her cabinets and filling it up with water. I took another bite of my food and somehow the pain in my head eases a bit. Maybe I'm really just tired and hungry.

"Here, take this." She says as I swallow in my food. I take in the medicine that she handed to me and flush it down with the glass of water.

"I think we might need to get back to your doctor." She sighs as she takes the glass from me. " and maybe a talk with Joan."

"It was one time sweetheart, maybe I was just tired-"

"I couldn't find you earlier. You weren't here. Just like you were two years ago. Shan-"

"I'm not that anymore. I'm not depressed or anything. It was one time."

"You were somewhere else Shannon! You were not here." I was taken aback by her raising her voice but it wasn't in anger or frustration. It was desperation and worry mixed with fear. "I'm not doing that again Shannon, I can't. I just can't lose you again. So please, I need to know that this is what you said like nothing. I need to make sure of that. Please?" I can hear my heart pumping hard in my chest as her words sinks into me. She won't lose me, I'm right here. It was one time.

One time.

But I can't get it off my mind. The lights, the roaring horn of a truck, the ringing silence. Maybe she's right, maybe I need to get this head of mine be checked again. My headaches are already getting worse by the day and now this happens. I looked into Elizabeth's eyes as her hands take hold of mine with pleading eyes. Now I ask myself, if I do this, will it get better or worse. Still in between crossroads, my mind decides to nod. A confirmation of me agreeing with this idea.

"Thank you" She breathes and lets out a soft smile before wrapping her arms around my neck as she hugs me tight. I melt in her arms burying my head on to her shoulders, wondering how is it like to be the old Shannon from two years ago hoping I won't end up that way right now.