Chapter 16

We're on our way to the headquarters right now. Elizabeth and I haven't like talked properly since earlier and I'm kind of pissed off because a pap kept asking these questions of me and her as soon as I got out of the van and to my sister's apartment. Casey was there but we didn't have time for a chat so I promise I'll be home tonight for one.

So right now, we are seated on each corner of the van, my AirPods stuck in my ears for quite sometime with Alec Benjamin and Dream's Change My Clothes playing on my playlist. Its not that we're not okay, its just that I think I might be getting too attached to her that I'm forgetting the fact that she is my 'ex' girlfriend and there is in fact a reason for that. They say its my depression, but even though it was, I still left. I left her, just like that. Old Shannon got some nerve to leave a woman like her. She's perfect, maybe too perfect.

She's stunningly beautiful, her jade eyes are big and bright and holds so much emotion in them, I could get lost in every time. Her pouty lips looks so soft and irresistible, her cute nose and her laugh, Oh God I love her laugh. Its addicting. How she worries a lot and when I hold her or like just give her a hug, my body just automatically melts in her arms like a warm blanket in the winter. So cozy and she really feels like home.

I can feel my lips growing into a smile as I look out the window letting the scenery pass right before my eyes without processing it. Well, I'm day dreaming about her and we're like 4 feet away from each other. But to tell you the truth, I'm still bothered about the tension growing between us. I want to just cut it off go sit beside her and talk to her like I use to talk to her before, if I have that amount of courage that is. But I ask myself if I would let that fear take over then there is a huge possibility that I will regret doing it and that is worse than facing a rejection you won't even know that will happen. Maybe I should go over there.

I took a quick glance at her and see her staring out of the window with a blank expression on her face and I hate that really. Her smile is too beautiful to hide it away from anyone. Should I go for it? You know what, fuck it.

I got up from my seat and sat beside her taking off one of my AirPods. She turns her head to look at me with a questionable look on her face before sitting up straight.

"Want one?" I smiled handing her an AirPod. She looks at it for a second making my hands sweaty and my heart beat fast in my chest, but when she takes it and put it on, relief washes over me. See, its really not so bad is it? Suddenly, in an unexplainable coincidence, I Want to Hold Your Hand comes playing. What the fuck?

I felt my face heat up as I fight the urge to actually turn to look at her but I failed and slowly glanced at her seeing a smile on her face and that made me feel at ease until she turns her head and caught my gaze. I immediately avert my eyes pass her pretending I was looking out the window. She smiles and shakes her head making me grin. Okay that made my heart skipped a beat. I think we're good.

We sit here side by side not speaking but not like awhile ago, The tension was gone replaced by random songs playing on my playlist. I don't even know if she likes them or not but sometimes I would catch her bobbing her head with it which is adorable of her, then she would blush whenever I catch her doing it. There was a comfortable silence between us and that's better than the deafening silence we had earlier. Jake was even giving me looks asking what was happening but I just shrugged at him not knowing the answer to that.

"We're here" Jake says as we came to a stop in front of a huge building. Elizabeth gives me back my AirPod as I take off mine putting them back into its case and shoving it into my back pack before I got out. I wait for Elizabeth and help her out as well earning a smile from her. 

"So Jake are you coming in?" I asked.

"Yea, just gonna gather the team and have a little huddle then I'll catch up with you later on." I nod and gave him a fist bump. I look around as Elizabeth and I started to the entrance which is so familiar to me. Well maybe because Jarnie said I've done photoshoots here before for the twins and I still haven't asked Elizabeth about that.

"Have I been here before?" I asked and she hums in response glancing up to me with a smile.

"Every time we fly here to New York we always visit the twins here and have some dinner after. Hi Lisa!" She greets the receptionist as we walk towards her. She has blonde hair that is wrapped in a tight bun, behind her glasses are blue eyes, minimal make up and she's quite the same height as Elizabeth.

"Oh hi Lizzie and-" Her eyes grew wide when they landed on me and my mind had suddenly went blank and I don't know what to do so I just smiled. An automatic response of meeting new people that aren't really new people. If that even makes sense.

"Shannon, you're back. Haven't seen you in like two years. I think." She smiles widely and I mentally took note of what to do during these kind of small encounters so I say,

"Yea, got stuck in Dallas during the pandemic. I'm glad to be back though." I smiled and this made Elizabeth glanced at me with a quirked eyebrow and a smile on her face. I winked at her and she shakes her head again softly giggling. Well, in times like these I better come prepared, and besides its just for a short moment.

"Oh right" She smiles

"Uhm where are the twins?" Elizabeth asks. I look around as they continue to converse with each other. Very sophisticated structure from the gray walls to the black marble floors, you can really tell that this is a high class fashion brand. I love it but I feel a little bit under dressed again with a tank top under an oversized hoodie, some Levis, a pair of black Chucks and a Boston Cap. Yes, I am under dressed.

"Alright, Thanks Lisa!" I felt a hand on my arm snapping me out of my daze as Elizabeth pulls me to start walking. I look back and waved at Lisa with a smile on my face and looked at Elizabeth.

"Where are the twins?" I asked as we got in the elevator.

"They're setting up at the fourth floor. What you said earlier? Did you say that to Mackie and Seb as well?" She asks. Of course she knows, they worked together.

"Uh yea, kind of an automatic response. I think its easier than having to explain that I have no memory of them. I didn't got to use that with Scarlett though, she really caught me off guard." I explained putting my hands inside my pocket.

"Why?"

"Oh she jumped on me hugging me before I could even say anything. Then we had to start the shoot right away that's why we didn't get to talk and she was staring so much. I'm even surprised that the pictures turned out great even though I was really uncomfortable shooting her." I rambled and she just nods, the same time the elevator door opens. She didn't say a word and just walked out of the elevator which bothered me. Are we back to square one again. What is it with Elizabeth today. Is she on her period or something, the mood swings are intense. Now she's walking faster so I speed up my pace to catch up with her.

"Hey, Are you okay?" I asked as soon as she was in reach. She glanced at me and fake a smile saying,

"Yea, why wouldn't I be?" She says. Her tone places a heavy weight on my chest. Did I do something wrong, is this about earlier again. Is she mad at me, or something that I say or whatever. Am I annoying her already or is it just the mood swings.

"Well hello you two" I look up to see Mary Kate wearing an oversize white polo and some black pants to go with it while Ashley works on the computer wearing a black sweater and black pants. They really like to workwith that shades. It figures, just by the colors of the studio and mainly the whole building.

"Hi" I say as I greet the both of them giving them a kiss on the cheek and a hug. I glanced at Elizabeth who is now talking to Ashley and it looks like she's showing her something on the computer.

"Hi" Mary Kate blocks my view giving me a smug look. I feel my face heat up. God, way to get so obvious Shannon. "Yea, so how's your head?" I gave her a smirk.

"We both know the answer to that don't we?" She chuckles grabbing a hold of my arm as we start to walk towards the shooting area.

"Well, you can't blame us we missed your martini and the way you make them." I smile at the compliment, taking off my back pack and resting it on the table along with the other equipment. "So you and Lizzie?" Right, I knew it she's going to ask about her.

"Yea?"

"Well?" I raised my brows as I take out my camera from my back pack trying to act clueless on what she was saying. She sighs and rolls her eyes. "You know what I'm talking about Shan, I know you do."

"I don't know what you're on about, me and Elizabeth are just friends." Just friends, try to keep that in mind. Nothing more, and it seems like she agrees to that. Mary Kate sniggers as I start setting up my camera. As much as I wanted something to happen, she keeps her ground by keeping a safe distance between us and its really hard to break it, like a well-built wall around her.

"She's in a mood with me right now and I don't know why." I mutter before taking a peak into the viewfinder and take a sample shot of her.

"What happened?" I hear her ask making me sigh. Well, she knows Elizabeth more than I do so maybe she can tell me what's wrong with her. "From the start?"

"From the start. We still have time." So I did, I told her everything from the start including the waking up in the same bed, the dining table, in the van and lastly the elevator. I might've also spilled the tea that I have feelings for her and I think I shouldn't be worried about that, should I? She doesn't seem too shocked about it.

"Maybe she's a bit confuse about everything. She'll come around eventually. But damn, its about time these feelings come back. I knew you two are meant for each other."She waggles her brows giving me a nudge on the arm. A smile forming on my face. I really feel comfortable with Elizabeth's family, they treat me as a part of them and its quite amazing how I can say these things to them not worrying about what they would think about it or anything. Like a real family.

"I hope you're right." She smiles and raised a brow.

"I am right. You'll see. You're Elizabeth and Shannon, you fucking own headlines for god's sake." I slowly nod at her confident answer. She somehow gave me a little boost about this but to be honest, I'm still not going to let my hopes up. It still depends on her and only her.

Lizzie's P.O.V."Elizabeth Chase!" I snap out of my daze and immediately look at Ashley who is staring at me with raised brows. Was I out again?

"What?"

"I've been talking to you asking for your take on this outfits for todays shoot and you've been staring at Shannon for God knows how long." I shake my head and just let out a heavy sigh before taking a look on what Ashley is talking about ignoring the weird look she's giving me right now.

"So what are we working on" I say snatching the controller from her and taking a good look on the outfits in front of me even though my mind is totally else where.

Shannon

"Are you and Shannon okay?" Ashley asks and that question is making this guilt I've been pushing down goes up even stronger.

"Yea, we're okay." My voice cracked, Great. nit very convincing now are we Lizzie.

"Spill" She says and there is something about my sisters that I just can't lie to or maybe I'm just as worse as Shannon in terms of not saying the truth. This is why I can't keep Marvel secrets for fuck's sake, I suck at it

"I don't know. She's great really nothing's wrong with her. She never changed, she's the same Shannon I fell in love with and now I think I'm even falling for her even more. But I can't-"

"Why?" Ashley says a little aggressive which makes me think that they really want this to work out again. I know me too, but I'm scared. not just for me but for her too and its been stressing me out since this morning when we woke up in each other's arms. That was my dream, but it was wrong.

"Its not that easy Ash. I just don't want us to get back on that time. She's happy, she's healthier, she doesn't have depression or anxiety or panic attacks, she had a second chance. I don't want her to go back." The heavy weight in my chest that I've been carrying since we left the apartment gets heavier and it was starting to cause my breathing.

"What makes you think that's going to happen this time?" I don't know the answer to that. "Yes she had a second chance, maybe that second chance is made for you to fix this. You broke up because of her depression and now that its gone what's holding you back?" The thoughts that I've been pushing in the back of my mind comes back in a hurricane and starts spiraling in my head. Some were possibilities of what would happen if I'll loosen up and just let things happen, some were thoughts of me keeping my walls up and just moving on and others are all a blur and it was making my head hurt and my chest heavier.

"Liz, are you okay?" I hear Ashley's muffled voice beside and I still manage to shake my head. "Oh shit! MK!" She shouts turning my chair so I was facing her and held me in her arms stroking my back as I try to steady my breath but I'm finding it so hard to. I hear footsteps rushing. I can hear voices talking in so much urgency. By this time, I couldn't feel my arms anymore, its like they are frozen and paralyzed.

"Elizabeth" Shannon's voice, God she shouldn't see me like this. I felt Ashley pulls back and then I saw her kneeling in front of me. She pops the pill onto my mouth and help me flushed it down with water. I dropped my head on her shoulder.

"Hey, you're okay. I'm here. You're fine. Just breathe." She repeats these words in my ear whispering it softly and gently. Her arms wrapped around me stroking my back and slowly, I was coming back. I need to stop thinking about things too much, I haven't had a panic attack in months and its pretty alarming that it happened again. Tears spilled from my eyes as I start to shiver, I can feelmy face getting hotter and my hands and feet are icy cold.

"Just wait sweetheart." I pull back and sat on my seat wiping my tears as she removes her hoodie leaving her in just a tank top and helps me put it on. "Do you want to go home." She asks and I shake my head. I want to stay, and do something to keep my mind off things.

"Are you sure? are you okay now?" Her tone is lace with pure concern, very sincere and it makes me feel at ease, safe. Then I caught a glimpse of a scar a big one on her right shoulder and it made my heart wrenched at the thought of the accident.

"Yea" I breathe. "I'm fine, I'm sorry about that." I whispered glancing at Mary Kate who has the same look on her face as Shannon's. Mary Kate then signals the crew to get back to work not to make any more commotion about this. "Go on, the models are waiting."

"Alright" She smiles but still hesitant so I gave her a nod. "Ashley" She gestures to me and Ashley nods before she jogs off to the shooting area.

"You haven't had a panic attack in months Lizzie. What is going on?Is it Shannon?" Mary Kate says in a rather worried big sister scolding tone of hers. Well, I can't blame them this is very alarming not only to them but to me as well. But its not Shannon's fault, I'm the one who's overthinking this. It might look easy for them but not for me. I want to be with Shannon, I really do, more than anything in this world. But there are certain things that I need to consider. But am I just overthinking things.

"No, It's me"