Chapter 18

{Trigger-- homophobic slurs, mentions of eating disorder}

John P.O.V.

"You think he cares about you? You think he actually is worried about you? You're just some fat queer with nothing better to do in life but be useless." *slap* I was back in my old living room back in South Carolina. Henry was standing over me, his breath smelling of alcohol. I was curled up in the corner of the room, trying to avoid my father wrath but ultimately failing. He kept kicking me and spitting. I just kept crying. "Oh and the only fucking reason that fag told you to start eating is so that he wouldn't be the kid with the weird roommate." "You don't know that. You don't know anything," I responded. With that, Henry slapped me one more time and walked away, almost tripping over himself. I curled into myself tighter, trying to squeeze out the pain.

"John?! John wake up? John!" I felt someone shaking me, or was I still in a corner rocking? I couldn't tell. Then it clicked. Slowly, I opened my eyes, hoping for a good sight. Good? More like perfect. Innocent. Adorable. Alexander. Once my eyes were fully open, I sat up. Alex was still holding my arm, making sure I was okay. He looked concerned. "You were having a nightmare I think." Not wanting to tall about it, I lied to him. "Oh. It's nothing. Just a classic 'no pants to school' dream. Don't worry." He didn't seem to believe me, but I could tell her wasn't going to force me to talk. Daringly, I raised my arm and placed my hand on his cheek. Using my thumb, I rubbed the gorgeous man's face. He was definitely blushing, but I pretended not to notice. He was cute when he was like this. Calm. Not working or typing away on a computer. He was cute with me. Finally, the silence was disrupted by my obnoxious phone ringing. Slowly, I pulled away from Lex and reached for my phone. Before answering, I caught a glimpse of the clock. 10:07am. Talk about sleeping in. I smiled quickly remembering that Alex was next to me all last night. Without looking at who it was, I finally answered the phone."Hello?""Ah! Mr. Laurens! Good morning! How are you so far?" At first, I will admit, I was genuinely confused. Finally, I recognized my good friend Hercules' voice."Who are you and what have you done with Hercules Mulligan?" Even though he couldn't hear the conversation, Alex laughed at that. He always laughed at my jokes. "About that, library stairs in 20, okay? I have something to tell you. Oh, and bring your little boyfriend Alexander. I like him. I see us becoming good friends. All of us. Now, get ready. See you soon!" Before I could respond at all, the phone was hung up. I was curious about what Herc had to say, but when he called Alex my boyfriend, I couldn't help but get sidetracked. He was perfect. He was also sitting criss crossed in front of me on my bed. We just stared at each other for a few seconds, and not a weird stalker stare. An "I care about you and want to memorize every part of you" stars. At least for me it was. It always was, since I met Alex. Finally I told him that Hercules wanted us to meet him in front of the library in 20 minutes. Once Alex was standing next to me, I bent over and kissed him on his forehead. He smiled and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I smiled back, unwillingly but I wasn't mad. I heard the shower water running, and decided I should make something for breakfast before Alex got out of the shower.

{time skip to after Alex is out of the shower and they are eating.}

"These pancakes are really good! Where'd you learn how to cook like this?" Alex was currently shoving food down his mouth, yet still managing out intelligible words. I, on the other hand, wasn't really in the mood for food. That dream seemed too real. But, I managed to stay happy for Lex. I was also excited to hear what Herc had to say. "Southern cooking I guess. My mom used to make pancakes all the time before she, you know. I always watched her. Just picked it up, you know?" Alex smiled straight at me, which caused me to look down at my plate in an attempt to hide my blush. He still had me swoon. "Well, for someone who cooks well, you don't seem to enjoy the product. Why aren't you eating?" He sounded slightly concerned. I did not want to make today one of those days."Just not hungry, I guess.""John. You sure you're okay?" I looked up to see him staring straight at me. I was not going to make today bad. "Perfectly fine. We should probably get going though. You ready?" Nodding, Alex took his last bites and got up out of his seat. He placed his dishes in the sink, grabbed a coat and opened the door. I grabbed my coat and walked over to him. He held out his arm as to invite me to leave the dorm first. "After you, Mr. Laurens." I smiled and nodded, as to say thank you. "What a gentleman you are Mr. Hamilton!" We walked the rest of the way side by side, talking in slight british accents. We made up crazy stories about our dream butlers and mansions. Just before we reached the library, I realized I was pretty much in tears from laughing so hard. When we approached the building, I spotted Hercules and Lafayette sitting on the stairs, laughing as well. They were always so freaking flirty. I looked over to Hamilton, who was looking at me. Smiling, I asked, "what?""You are gorgeous. You know that?" I could feel a heat rise to my cheeks."You as well." I stopped walking for a second and turned to face the short, captivating man."What are we going to tell them?" He looked confused."What do you mean?""Well I mean, last night. The good parts, not the storm. What was all that?" He just laughed and kept walking. "We will tell them what I have wanted to say since the day I met you John. We will tell them that me and you are a couple. If that's okay with you?" He looked back at me. I jogged a bit in order to catch up with the man. Once I was next to him, I interlocked my fingers around his. "I would be honored to be your boyfriend Mr. Hamilton."

"Hey love birds! Looks like Laf and I missed some things." Again, Lafayette just watched Hercules as he spoke."Oui! Looks like you two have finally gotten together." Hercules returned the gesture. I looked over at Alex who was sitting next to me on the stairs, our hands still locked. "You could say that." I smiled. That man always made me happy. Even when we saw each other at the most vulnerable times, a little piece of me was happy whenever I was around Alex. I turned away from him and focused on Hercules."So. What did you call us here for?" Immediately I could tell it was going to be good. Lafayette perked up and Hercules took a deep breath. I had a feeling I knew what was going to come out of my friends mouth, and I think Alex could too by his face. "Well. I think we all saw this coming so I'm going to come right out and say it. Literally. I'm gay." As if our brains were connected, Alex and I stood up together and clapped. Lafayette just hollered and waved his arms around. Hercules just sat there laughing. "Hoe did I get stuck with you guys?!" We all just happily celebrated together on those stairs for a while. Us celebrating consisted of Alex and I sharing kisses, Lafayette screaming random things in French, all of us hugging Hercules, and a lot of people staring. But it was celebrating, nonetheless. For once, I was really happy with my life. Maybe I wouldn't feel that way tomorrow, but I highly doubt it. Either way, I was happy right now. I had an amazing boyfriend and two amazing friends, who I had a feeling would follow Lex and I's trends eventually. We were all happy.

(A.N.; a lot has happened recently. Trump is the president unfortunately. For everyone reading this who was with Hilary and not Trump, please dont do anything stupid because of the outcome. Trump won. There is nothing we can do but make a change. And that change does NOT involve violence and hate. There is no reason we need to shame others. What happened, happened. All we can do is move forward. We must come together now. It will all be okay. I promise. Just stay strong. Also, Chris Jackson is leaving Ham in two days. That's all I am gonna say about that unless you want to see me cry. In better news, Simply Christmas is out!!! And Hamilton Mixtape released two more songs!!! We Know the Way for Moana is available on iTunes!! Music heals all. Go listen to all the things!!! I love you all and remember stay positive and strong!! We have the power to change the direction we are heading, and we dont need violence!! Good night or morning wherever you are!! I love you and I hope this chapter made you smile!}

Alsooo.... 🏳️‍🌈 is an emoji now!!! We are getting somewhere