Chapter 17

Alex POV (back to the end of chpt 15 in the tub)

         There was a lot of thunder and a lot of rain. The trees outside the window were blowing all around. And John? I didn't know. I was alone at this point. Just like I was back in the storm at home. I knew I would survive. I always made it out alive. But I didn't want to make it out if I was still going to be alone when it happened. That's how it always went. Where is John? I've called and waited and called again. Absolutely nothing. Why was life so crazy for us? Crash. I sprang up from my bed as fast as I could, the warm blanket still wrapped around me. As fast as I could, I ran to the only place in this dorm without windows. The bathroom. When I walked in, I was greeted by the memory of John sitting on the floor, hunched over the toilet. I felt sick. From inside the bathroom I could see John and I's beds being lit up by lightning. Not only until I looked in the mirror had I realized I was crying. A lot. Boom. Shit. Oh my god. I found it harder and harder to breathe. I couldn't take it anymore. Where was John? He was probably dying like my mother or my cousin. Or maybe he got fed up like my father. Maybe he left and is never coming back. It's my fault. I messed up yet again. Nice going Alex. You did it again. Shaking, I crouched down and opened the cabinets under the sink. Come on. There's gotta be something. When my search failed, I proceeded to look through the drawers above the cabinet. Second drawer down on the left. Once it was opened all the way, I stared down at the contents for a few seconds. Slowly, I reached down into the drawer and picked up the shining silver metal. I took a long deep breathe as I shut the drawer, never taking my eyes off the sharp weapon. Just then I could hear the rain coming down harder and the wind almost caving in the dorm. I dropped the blade and hopped into the bathtub. I sat there rocking, crying until my head started pounding. "Lex! Where are you? It's John!" I covered my ears and started rocking. He wasn't actually here. It was all in my head. I wrapped the blanket tighter around me. Then, footsteps. I lifted my head. There he was. Standing in the doorway, soaked from all the rain. I saw his eyes go towards the floor. Shit. The blade. I started crying harder. John climbed into the tub next to me and held me. I felt safe in his arms. He didn't leave. He was here. It was going to be okay. After a few minutes of us just sitting there, John slowly pulled away. I saw his face and I knew it hit him. He remembered. My heart started racing faster and faster. "John?" I was terrified. What if he leaves now that he knows what happened."Alex."My heart was beating so fast."Last night," he paused, reexamining me and probably the situation. "I kissed you."         I just sat there, speechless, not knowing what to do. I couldn't tell how John was emotionally reacting, and I was getting nervous. Slowly, I started to nod, giving the man reassurance. He looked so stunned and shocked. I could feel more tears coming. But before anything could come out, I felt that same feeling I did last night. It was warm and safe. It was more meaningful tonight. It was John. His lips, to be exact. And they were on mine. He wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't leaving me like my dad. John was here with me. Relentlessly, I gave in and started kissing back. It was a passionate, long kiss. A kiss that wasn't just pity because I was a complete mess sitting in a tub. It was a kiss that said, "I meant it last night and I mean it now." I ran my hands through his wet curly hair. His arms were wrapped around me, his hands on my back. I could feel him trying to move me closer, so I did. Our lips slowed down as we gradually pulled away from each other. We just sat there, staring into each other's eyes for a few seconds. Just then, his arms were back around me, but to hug me this time. I held onto John as tight as I could. Finally, I whispered into his ear, "I thought you left. For good." He pulled away and I could see tears starting to form in his eyes. "Lex. I am so sorry. I would never leave you. I promise. Don't ever doubt that. But can I ask, why the hell are you in a bathtub?" A smile crept onto my face as John began to snicker. Tears fell through his smile. I lifted my hand to his cheek and wiped them off. I listened and realized that the storm had stopped, or at least settled. It was hard to tell. But I felt safe. I took a deep breath in. "You know how I told you about the hurricane? Well, basically any kind of storm now remind me of that day. And you weren't here. It felt too real. It was too familiar." More tears came, not only from the freckled man's eyes, but from mine. He grabbed my hand, and used his thumb to rub my wrist. He looked down and was now full on crying . "Were you gonna do it?" I felt ashamed. Like I let him down. "I don't know." Finally, John stood up, still holding my hand, causing me to rise up with him. "Let's get pajamas on and watch a movie or something." I looked at him and nodded. We stepped out of the bathroom and turned off the light behind us. Once we were both in pajamas, we crawled into John's bed. "What movie," he asked. I wrapped my arm around him. "Can we just lay here? I'm really tired." He looked at me and smiled. "Anything for you Lex." This obviously caused me to blush. He turned to his side so that his stomach was up against my back, my head next to his. "Hey Laurens?" "Yes Hamilton?" "I like you a lot." And with that, I felt a small kiss on the back of my head. I shut my eyes and fell asleep thinking about the man who was wrapped around me.

[AN: did this make up for the shortness of last chapter?? Hopefully. Okay well, school tmrw so i gtg. But Tuesday is the election which means no school, so tmrw night I will try my best to write some more! I love you and goodnight!😴]